Repeating Kindergarten with Highly Precocious Child?

Put her in first grade and work with her at home now with the academics she's lacking. A parent is a child's first and most important teacher so teach her what she's lacking. While you are at it teach her that while the teacher's opinion might not always agree with hers she still needs to be respectful. Precocious can be cute or really annoying. Sounds like she's being annoying too often. Maybe its a personality clash but she still needs to be respectful. Teacher's class teacher's rules.

There is no way I'd let them fail her. She will be worse next year because she is going to grow by leaps and bounds cognitively in the next year or so. She will be completely bored. Please tell them she is academically where she needs to be and that she is going to move on to 1st grade.

I would not hold her back. Kids learn at different rates. She'll catch up when her brain is more mature. I also believe those first few grades are more about adjusting to being in school than perfect academics. Our elementary school doesn't give grades until later. I think we have become overly concerned about making things perfect as well as turning each child into as similar to other students.

My goal is for my daughter and grandchildren to like school and learning. K and first grade is the foundation for continued learning. Students learn how to behave in a group setting. They learn to learn with in a more structured setting. They learn to cooperate and follow directions. They learn basic subjects. Educators know that kids learn at different rates. My granddaughter couldn't read well until 3rd grade. I think the average student gets it in 2nd.

I also think that there are negative feelings related to being held back. I've heard kids think of themselves as stupid because they didn't move up with their friends. It's easy to think there must be something wrong with me. I thought that schools rarely hold kids back. It has something to do with the Federal law No Children Left Behind. K, 1st grade is just the beginning. Students can't be too far behind because they've just been in school 1-2 years. If they are still having trouble learning by the end of second, I would consider, as one option to hold them back. My granddaughter was still having some difficulties in the 3rd grade. The school then Became concerned.

Unless your child Is learning disabled and needs to learn basic skills, I wouldn't hold her back. She will continue to learn in 1st grade. My granddaughter didn't hit her stride until later. She was social and not much interested in academics. Holding her back would not have given her the chance to realize school work is important. K would be too easy Giving her the idea one doesn't have to work. They didn't suggest holding her back. i'm illustrating one way to look at the decision. List reason to go forward and for not going forward.

there's an old harry chapin song in which the teacher admonishes the child 'flowers are red, young man. green leaves are green. there's no need to see flowers any other way than the way they always have been seen.'
i'd go ahead and put her in 1st grade. you never know how a kid and a teacher will click, that one might be much better for your child.
but this one probably won't.
khairete
S.

Well, sometimes you get a teacher who doesn't get your kid. Been there.

We have to work on fine motor with one of my little ones. So I bought one of those books where you trace out the letters (they no longer seem to do this at school any more) and we've made huge strides - I just make it fun and reward with stickers and hugs!

Noticed big improvement.

So can you get examples of what you need to specifically work on and help her catch up?

What about a second opinion?

I've had teachers who were very uptight. The next year we'd get a teacher who was very laid back.

I prefer the laid back ones for the little kids. The structure is great but I think they have to be more flexible sometimes and realize kids are different.

Good luck :)

** switching schools and adding time to her day traveling .. would be my last resort.

I think you need to look at each factor individually and consider how much that will affect her.

You mentioned phonics and math. Those are subjects that can easily be improved over the summer. You could work with her or have an older sibling work with her. You can send her to a place like Sylvan Learning Center (not cheep, but perhaps worth it).

You don't want to ignore an area where she is behind. She could catch up on her own. That's true. But at this young age, I would be concerned that asking her to catch up on her own might be putting too much pressure on her. Especially when there are other options available.

I'd be more concerned by the fact that she has a summer birthday. That is a very real factor. My son has a summer birthday, so we chose to start him in kindergarten when he was 6. Not to be sexist, but I'm not sure I would have done that with a daughter. My son was very clearly not as mature as the other kids in his preschool class, and I knew he wasn't ready for kindergarten. Our school offers a sort of 2 year kindergarten option, so we went with that. Best thing we could have done for him!!!!! I cannot stress that enough.

Having her repeat kindergarten might upset her a little at first, but she is not at the age where she will feel "stupid" like she would if she had to repeat 3rd grade. If it's the right thing to do, the time to do it is now.

I think social maturity would be my biggest concern. You can help her catch up academically, but if she's the youngest, she's the youngest, and there is no catching up. It just is what it is. She will always be the youngest.

I'd also like to add that the teacher insisting on teh grass being green probably has more to do with following directions. I'm sure there are many, many ways in which the children are allowed to show creativity. But they also need to learn to follow directions.

I would have her repeat kindergarten. Let her be in a class with kids her own age. Repeating kindergarten will more than likely give her a feeling of success and pride that will give her confidence going into 1st grade.

I just wanted to point out that the teachers issue with the green vs rainbow grass probably has more to do with your daughters ability to follow directions than with her artistic ability. Learning to follow directions is one of the most important kindergarten lessons.

As for repeating kindergarten, that doesn't happen here. Children stay with their peers and are provided with any extra help necessary to help them succeed.

Our daughter was a mid July birthday. VERY bright. But she was always a little behind some of the children in her class, because so many of them were a year older.

There were also a few gifted kids in that class also. One boy was reading on a 3rd grade level when he started Kindergarten and by the end of the year 5th grade level.. He could have been higher. Yes he was 5 years old.

What ends up happening is that these kids kind of even out in their skills by 3rd grade. All of a sudden the ages no longer are as noticiable .. Many times the math and reading groups ended up being the same groups she was with all the way through High School. Boys girls, youngest, oldest..

Of course tutoring and other things made a difference for some kids, it is like it finally clicked for them, just a bit later than others.. They all graduated!

This is why the teachers and parents working together is so important.
In the summer take her to the library every week. Check out armful of books and read them together. Let her read to you, to dad.. and also continue to read chapter books to her. She needs the practicing listening for the details. Ask her questions, discuss the story.

Have her "write out the grocery list. (does not have to be perfect) Have her call it out at the store. Let her find the items.

Let her look at the ads in the paper. Have her call out prices.

Get books on CD and listen to them together. Joke Books are great.
In no way should she repeat. She is going to mature so much over the summer.

Take a deep breath. All this push for early academics is not doing us any good. Did you know that kids who don't start academics until age 8 out perform their earlier starting peers?

Pick up a book called "Better late than Early."

I have two with summer birthdays and I will not start them off in 1st grade at age 6. No way. I'm holding them back, will start K when they are 6, first grade when they are 7.

Don't sweat it at all. Don't stress out and don't stress your daughter out by sending her into academics at age 6. When they are ready to learn it, they learn it fast. When they are not ready to learn, you just teach them to hate school (and actually it causes them harm. Young brains are not finished mylinating. When you force a child to learn a skill for which their brain is not ready, it is forced to use a developed part of the brain rather than the ideal part of the brain for that skill. This forever forms circuits in lower learning levels of the brain, forever limiting their potential in that area. Early academics is harming our kids. )

This probably has nothing to do with the teacher. This is about development. As a homeschooler you know that classroom teaching is a bit one-size-fits-all, be it public or private school. Only one-on-one teaching really allows for the proper speed and tactics for each individual child. Sounds like your child is not a one-size-fits all student. This is no reflection on her brightness. Its age and development.

You have enough to worry about if you have a child recovering from TBI. Don't add to the anxiety in your family by putting academics on a young six year old who just needs a little more time for her brain to develop.

Can you work with her over the summer to see if she has the academic growth spurt, and decide closer to fall? Kids this age can change a lot in 5 months.

Which 'rigorous' Kindergarten skills is she lacking?
Counting?
Simple addition?
Can't you work with her overhype summer?

OTOH, little extra maturity might help.
Have you read Outliers?

ADDED: I see you changed the post to reflect your daughter's age. Thanks! Sorry, the original made me think she was three years old-- I get it now. The only thing I'd change below would be my question about her being very young to be in K, but the rest stands. Thanks for the age clarification!

ORIGINAL: If the teacher now says she needs to repeat K, better to have her repeat K now than to wait and find out later she should repeat first or second or third or whatever. The social aspect of that repeat would be much harder on her than repeating K this fall; most of her K classmates in the fall won't know she's repeating and even her church friends who might know she already did K won't care or tease her -- they will probably be thrilled she's there, and she can show them the ropes and feel good about that.

Our godson should have repeated K. He was very, very bright but also disorganized and just not mature enough to move on to first, but despite the teacher's recommendation that he repeat K, his parents said "He'll be so bored academically" and had him go on to first. It took until about the end of third grade for him to really get himself together and for school not to be struggle; had he repeated K and had that extra year to mature, the first few years of school might have been much easier on everyone.

I have to add that I am puzzled by your post because I can't picture any school, public or private, allowing a child of three to do full-on kindergarten curriculum and hours, even a very gifted child. Most here would advise a good pre-K preschool at three and four, with a lot of supplementing by parents (reading, museum trips, extracurriculars). Did I read wrong or was there a mistype that she's actually in K at age three? That means she'd be maybe nine and starting middle school, and there are a host of issues with that kind of age difference between a child and classroom peers that I won't get into here, but.....

Being "precocious" does not equate, necessarily, to being academically advanced, certainly not in all subjects equally at the same time. And being precocious and/or academically advanced does not equate to being mature enough socially and organized enough to move up in grades at school.

I think you may be confusing your child's advanced vocabulary for maturity and her determination to do things her way (butting heads with the teacher, coloring how she wants, etc.) as a sign of something -- giftedness, or again, maturity. Can you distance yourself from her enough to possibly see it as a sign instead of being three and not wanting to follow directions?

You've heard the teacher's recommendation about repeating K, and I find it a red flag in the post that you add how you fear she'll fall behind in first and seem to say the reason is that the first grade teacher is "similar in personality to the K teacher." If I read that right, you're saying you fear the first grade teacher also will not gel with your child. It seems as if you've already written off both the K and first grade teachers at this school, so maybe you really do need to find someplace else for a fresh start. But if she's not ready for first grade at four, she's not ready.

You mention that she would need "a major academic growth spurt over the summer" to start first in the fall. If you know that, you already know your answer: She shouldn't go to first if her success there depends on her somehow gaining a huge amount of academic development over the summer. You simply cannot guarantee that would happen. Why the rush? Not sure how the school or you could justify her starting first grade under those circumstances. Don't let a three-year-old's social worries about friends moving on to first grade sway YOU as the adult.

Your options seem to be push her ahead, keep her back with a teacher neither of you like, or a new school. I would explore options either at the other school or see what the 1st grade teacher says about her academics.

Age isn't necessarily the be all or end all. My daughter is a July birthday. My son is a late August birthday. They both started kindergarten at age 5 and are close to being the youngest in their classes. They are both at the top of their class. My daughter's best friend is a December birthday. She struggles in school. Despite being one of the oldest in her class.

But, I am working with a kindergarten student this year whose birthday is just a couple of days before my son's. We are looking at the possibility of holding him back. He just wasn't ready for school. Things started clicking for him 1/2 way through the year. I have no doubt that with a 2nd year of kindergarten he will be fine.

All that to say, her age might not be the problem.

Personally, I would not want my child to repeat a grade with the same teacher if it was a teacher we had struggled with. Students I have worked with who repeated a grade always went to a different class. It gives them a fresh start. One of my students last year repeated kindergarten. He didn't have a bad experience with the previous teacher. He just needed more time. But, he was in a different teacher's classroom this year. He has done great!!

Repeating a grade is a big deal. In our district there has to be A LOT of documentation before it will even be considered. I would ask for very specific information about what skills your daughter is missing. If they are things that you know you can work at home to get her caught up, work on it this summer. Maybe look into tutoring. It could even be a high school or college student. But, if the skills she is lacking seem more than you or a tutor can handle, repeating kindergarten might be the best option.

As a reading specialist who works with K-5 kids who are behind in reading, they don't naturally "even out" like some others have said. I have seven 5th grade students I am working with who are reading at 2nd and 3rd grade reading levels. None of them are special ed students. I don't think any of them are summer birthdays. All but one of them have been in American schools since kindergarten. Things didn't "even out" for these 5th graders. And they will be going on to middle school reading as much as 4 years below grade level. It is frustrating for 5th graders who are still working on phonics skills that everyone else picked up in 1st-2nd grade. It's embarrassing for them. Kindergarten would be the year to repeat.

I can't tell you if staying at your current school or driving 30 miles is better. I just know that two years with a teacher you or your child don't click with can be painful.

I would not have her repeat the grade if she's going to have the same teacher. The issues that you have are not going to go away. I realize the first grade teacher is similar, but you may be able to start off on a better foot and have a better year. Talk to her about things like the coloring and find out WHY it matters that the grass is green and not a rainbow. If you understand the teacher's point of view, you might be able to persuade your daughter to follow those types of directions.

As for the academics, she will catch up. My son is in second grade and I've been volunteering in his class weekly each year. The kids that struggled in kinder and first have caught up now and are reading well as second graders. Their math skills have greatly improved, too. Holding your daughter back likely will not help her that much and she'd be better off moving forward.

Does your public school district, or your private school, offer summer school? In Irvine, we have four-week summer school sessions that offer "get ready for first grade" classes (and get ready for any grade kinder - third). It's a great help for kids who may be a bit behind - they benefit from learning throughout summer and don't have the same dropoff that kids who have no schooling for 8-10 weeks may experience.

I think she would do best to move forward with her peers and have a new teacher next year.

June is not a late birthday at all.

My sister started kindergarten when she was 4 (she turned 5 in Oct).
Academically she was fine but she was crying over everything all the time (well into elementary school).
I really think one extra year of maturity would have done her a world of good and she should have started kindergarten a year later.

It's the phrase 'holding back' that bothers a lot of people.
Think of it more as another year to play and relax as opposed to starting up with slogging through all the homework at such an early age.
A years difference can be a big plus if the kids are not ready to sit still.

I believe it would be far better for her to repeat K than to move on up the grade levels and then repeat a grade.

I teach as a substitute and each grade level has children with varied skills. However, like Laurie said... in time.. usually by 3rd grade everyone evens out.

You did not present any hard facts that would make me suggest to move her up the ladder.

I would continue to work with her at home and probably keep her in K another year so she can grow and mature. Remember, if she is the youngest in the class now, she will be the youngest when she graduates and the youngest to start college.

Is this K teach the only K teacher they have? How small is this school?

IMO i would not hold her back. Work with her during the summer as much as you can. I would let her continue on to first grade with her peers. I think if you hold her back this will create and cause huge self esteem, mental, emotional issues with your child. And not to mention, kids are mean, i cant help but think kids will start to make fun of and tease your daughter. If this is the only private school then let her move on. As a parent you will to work with her as much as possible to help her out! Good luck.

I would not let her repeat Kindergarten with the same teacher. It sounds as though the teacher and your daughter are very frustrated with each other. Putting the two of them together for another school year will be a nightmare for the both of them. Work with her on her math and phonic skills over the summer and let her move on with her peers. While your daughter may be more motivated to learn with a different teacher, she certainly won't be with the same one she's already had.

I urge you to do research on retention. There are alot of studies available online.