18 answers

Repeat 1St Grade at New School

My daughter is academically ready. She has trouble with math concepts, but with some extra help does get it. She is well above on her reading. She is 6.5 and will turn 7 in November of 2011. She is currently in 1st grade. Yes, we started her at 4.5 because we felt she was so bored with preschool we didn't want to "burn her out' on school by having her do preschool another year and do all the same things over. Second guessing that all the time. SO she is having troubles completing her work in school. She says she doesn't like school. She picks the types of friends that lead her around (older ones) She follows.

We're starting her in a new school next year because we moved....... Not really thingking I will, but feel like I need to explore every idea when it comes to making her enjoy school more and be more successful at it.... so what about if I were to have her do 1st grade again. HORRIBLe comes to mind. How cruel.. why comes to mind... but also, maybe she is just too young. Maybe she could concentrate and pay attention and get the work done if she was a little more mature. But probably really, it won't change anything. Is it discipline? I';ll start with that..... suggestions? Thanks girls!

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

I think it will be a lot better to hold her back in first grade than in 8th or 9th. Sounds like you were ready for her to start school but maybe she wasn't. If she is able to do the work "with a little bit of help" she will be able to do it on her own after redoing all the work. you can always supplement it at home with more advanced stuff.

4 moms found this helpful

Sounds like an ideal time to keep her back. Sounds like she needs it.
I feel, if you are going to hold back, first grade is the time to do it. She will
get a lot out of repeating it. Better she should not have to struggle the rest
of her school career.

3 moms found this helpful

More Answers

I guess the question to ask yourself is do you want to spend the next 11 years battling your daughter on not liking school, struggling with concepts OR give her a year to catch up, catch her breath and learn to enjoy school because it's not a constant struggle. Considering it's a new school, there won't be any stigma, except what you attach to it. If she shoots ahead in a later grade, you can talk to the school about skipping a grade or having her graduate high school early.

I started school at 4.5 and was always the youngest, shortest and, although I did well, I spent hours more on my work than my older peers. I spent my first quarter at university as a 17 year old arguing with the university about whether or not I could actually sign my own papers, being a minor and all. Ugh.

Good for you for considering it. I know too many parents who would flat out refuse (and then blame the teacher).

Good luck.

5 moms found this helpful

I think it will be a lot better to hold her back in first grade than in 8th or 9th. Sounds like you were ready for her to start school but maybe she wasn't. If she is able to do the work "with a little bit of help" she will be able to do it on her own after redoing all the work. you can always supplement it at home with more advanced stuff.

4 moms found this helpful

I don't know your daughter but I can tell you my experience. I was born 3 days before the cutoff date to start school. I started K as the youngest, smallest and shyest kid in the class. I went through K and first as the youngest and then we moved. The new school pushed my parents to have me repeat first grade. So I ended up doing first grade twice at 2 different schools. It is so much easier to be the oldest kid in the class rather than the youngest. I did occasionally get bored and tune out but I still got good grades. In 4th they tested me and put me in the gifted program so it worked out well for me. BTW, my mom also moved and ended up repeating first grade. She ended up as valedictorian of her high school class.

4 moms found this helpful

Sounds like an ideal time to keep her back. Sounds like she needs it.
I feel, if you are going to hold back, first grade is the time to do it. She will
get a lot out of repeating it. Better she should not have to struggle the rest
of her school career.

3 moms found this helpful

My feeling is that you know her best- trust your instinct. If your gut is telling you she's not mature enough yet, then it's most likely true.

Really, what is so bad about letting her do 1st grade again?- especially since it's a new school- she won't be seeing her friends go off to 2nd grade while she stays behind. Also, she'll have a different experience in a new school so she won't be doing everything the same all over again. I think maturity is just as important as academic readiness.

My 1st son turned 5 a month and a half before he was supposed to start kindergarten, but I didn't feel he was ready. Academically, he was. He could identify every letter of the alphabet when he was 2, but I didn't feel he had the maturity, so he went to pre-school again that year, and started kindergarten when he was 6. I'm of the "why rush things" mindset- I think it came from having seen the experiences my 2 brothers had. Both, I think would have had much better experiences if they had waited another year.

Very best wishes!! :)

3 moms found this helpful

I wouldn't hesitate to hold her back. New school makes it so easy. 1st grade shouldn't be a struggle if it doesn't have to be. Do you ever volunteer In class? It's a good way to see how your daughter is vs peers. I find it helpful when figuring out how my first grader is doing. But I know 2 people who held their girls back. Maybe one in K and the other in 1st. Both are incredibly glad they did. They said it made all the differnce in the world Why make things an uphill battle already? Tell her the new school is different and she'd be too young for 2nd there.

3 moms found this helpful

It isn't cruel if you look at it this way...will you be giving her the chance to succeed? Yes. Will you be giving her the chance to truly be at the top of her grade level...age wise, with her peers? Yes.

Much better to excel at your own age level in school than to struggle along with older children.

I dealt with the same thing as you, as far as the boredom with pre-k, k stuff...but when they jump into 1st grade, they really take off these days. I started her on K a year early, homeschooling...then, when I went to enroll her in online school this past year, because of her age, they made her repeat K. I ended up being happy about it, because they covered SO MUCH I had never thought to cover (learning countries and cultures, advanced phonics and reading skills, history, all sorts of crazy things I would've never guessed they teach and K...and truthfully, the public schools don't teach those thing to K students where I live.) She did finish the K curriculum in about 4 months, so I knew I had given her a leg up by allowing her to repeat. She's now halfway through the 1st grade curriculum and will pick it up at the beginning of next year, when she's technically in first grade.

So, to the point...yes, I'd have her repeat. She'll do much better with children her own age, really setting into concrete what she should know, and it will give her a chance to be a leader instead of a follower. Also, once they fall behind, it's very hard to catch up. It only gets worse. It's not cruel or horrible, it's the best thing you can do for her.

3 moms found this helpful

I would repeat at the new school. I read your other posts. No one will know. It won't harm her. It is what grade she should be in anyways.
If she qualifies for summer school, her grades have to be suffering. Here, only kids with a 70 or below qualify unless they have a disability.

1 mom found this helpful

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