21 answers

Reluctant Potty Trainer

wow i can't believe all the "early potty trainers" on here. i actually just read someone saying that if a child isn't potty trained by two, they have lazy parents. i can't believe someone actually said that. my son was walking by age 9 months and has a better vocabulary and manners than many of the adults i meet (yes, even in mighty johnson county, kansas *gasp!*), saying please, thank you, and yes ma'am at 22 months. (most of the people in this county can't even seem to grasp that there are other people on the road, much less be courteous and use manners!) he can count to ten, knows about ten colors, his basic shapes, and is WAY too smart for his own good at this point. yes a lot of that was god's doing not ours, but you know what, a lot of that is due to some GOOD PARENTING. i really am just flabergasted at some of the judgements people make on here sometimes. i am a hard working woman, wife, and mother, and it is incredibly offensive to me that someone would label me as "lazy", because my son will not be potty trained by 2 years.

and i'm sorry ladies, but, while he does occasionally tell me he's "poopie" (and usually only if i ask - and only half the time is he right because it seems he always says "NO"), and while he did go potty on the toilet twice in one weekend several weeks ago (seems like an eternity ago, *sigh*!) i know for a fact that he is NOT ready, and i know this because i am NOT a lazy mother but one who does her best, and has tried to encourage my son to go on the potty regularly. we had those two great "go" 's, but then my son started resisting, and now will start whining and fussing if i mention trying to go on the potty. i have never pressured him, i have never tried to force him, he was okay with it at first, no big traumatic issues, and just eventually started becoming less and less "okay" with it. (i think the novelty wore off and he realized he was expected to "do" something) and YES he'll be two in 2 mnths. so i highly doubt he will be trained by then - not for lack of effort or laziness on my part i assure you. he simply is NOT ready.

and quite frankly, i'm not pushing it. i don't have any desire to "force" my child to be potty trained simply because he's about to be two. i can't begin to list the things i see wrong with that. but that's not my point.

my question is, now that i've read (i think it was like 34) people talking about how great and easy it is to potty train, where are all the moms who are struggling with it? i can't be the only one who has a stubborn little boy. (-who also lights up my life, don't get me wrong). anyone have any suggestions, as far as that goes? we have tried snacks, drinks, books, songs, "the happy potty dance", etc...he's not really into stickers but i think next time he acts like he might be open to training again, i'm going to get some and see if that encourages him. ideas???

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

you guys are AWESOME! in this area it's sometimes hard to find the "imperfect" parents...hehe. i am one and proud! i really appreciate everyone sharing their stories. this is a great group! and someone mentioned i still sound like i'm a bit conflicted - not any more! i think waiting is the right thing to do - i have plenty of time for him to be potty trained, on HIS schedule, and i'm going to enjoy it. it really is much easier just grabbing some diapers and wipes and knowing we can go out and not have to worry about public restrooms, rushing to the potty, etc. thanks so much for all your encouragement! (and no i didn't grow up here - south only by about an hour! but my husband is from the south, hence the "ma'ams" that seem to be popping up around our house lately) THANK YOU again!

More Answers

I guess I'm another "lazy" parent in not potty training my two year old son...despite numerous comments and suggestions from well meaning friends and family members. My son at this time is just not ready...call it a mother's instinct...so just follow yours...and in good time your toddler will succeed and so will you!!

2 moms found this helpful

Hi C.,
I just wanted to let you know that I am in the same boat you are. My 2 1/2 yr. old little girl is not potty trained. She is somewhat interested, somewhat not. She really likes watching some "potty videos" from the public library. (Though, I must say, I don't see the "coolness" in them!) I have three younger brothers. When they were learning, they thought it was really neat to try to "aim" at Cheerios floating in the toilet.

Recently, my 2 yr. old has been asking to go to Chuck E. Cheese (she's never been). We told her if she goes #2 in the potty then she could go. Hooray, we went last night! We've already had a set back this morning. (Which my husband and I fully expected.)

You will see my family out and about in JoCo for the next several months/years with our backpack full of diapers or my purse stuffed full of diapers, but that's ok. She's a toddler. Her little body needs time to grow. C., stick with it and treasure your days with your toddler. All to soon he will be potty trained and this will be a blimp on the radar of many great things in your lives together!

1 mom found this helpful

C., I would definitely not try to push him. I am with the gal that said its a control issue. My DD just turned 31 months (2.5) and she has only been trained for a couple of weeks. She started being interested in going on the potty at 18 months, I was so excited, but then she started resisting, so I put her back in diapers until she started acting interested again. Even now we have struggles because I can tell when she needs to go, but she will not go unless she wants to, on her terms. So we have had some days where she goes through many pairs of panties before the day is over. One thing I kept doing was just putting the bug in her ear about big girl panties and how she could pick out her own special pair when she started going all the time on the potty. It also helped that her friend, who I watch during the day got potty trained, she wanted to be just like her. Just some pointers that helped us out. Mainly just listen to your son, he will let you know when the time is right. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful

Sounds like you're still conflicted about what you're hearing, and what you know about your son. You know he's not ready, so don't push the issue yet. He's not being stubborn - he's just not ready. You know this! Don't put that pressure on yourself, or on him. Make it fun, give him choices about sitting on the potty or not, ready potty books, have teddy bears to potty on the potty... make its something he's interested in exploring and wait for the signs that he's ready. You shouldn't necessarily already be seeing those signs, so don't rush it. Sounds like you're very in tune with him and will know it when he's ready! Don't second guess yourself (yes, I know its impossible not to do, but that's my advice) :-)

1 mom found this helpful

I really don't have any great suggestions, because I am one of those struggling moms. My son is is not quite 2 1/2 and isn't potty trained. We have been trying for quite a while now, but he still hasn't gotten it yet. I just want to wish you luck. Keep up the good work with your toddler!

1 mom found this helpful

haha. Funny post. I'm often surprised how often people are rude on here as well, the vast majority of moms on here are so helpful and so wonderful, but boy it ticks me off, too when someone is judgmental and nasty!!
My son is 26 months and the EXACT same thing - he's smart, I'm not lazy, he totally "gets it," used it once before and then - just like you said, he gets less and less okay with it each day, and now, almost seems scared of it. Same thing, no traumatizing issue or anything, I've never forced anything. When he was first interested (right around his first birthday) he was SO into it, learned all about it, talked about it constantly, loved the books, seemed to want to potty train himself! Then one day, he just sat down and went and it was awesome and now, he just backs more and more away from it.
My plan is to do one of those three-day training weekends and try my best to make it very fun and positive (cake and balloons??) and see how that goes. Somehow we just need to turn the negative into a positive again!!

So, no real advice for you, but I'm a mom who is out there with the same issue and I'm also glad to know I'm not alone!!

1 mom found this helpful

Yahoo! I'm born and raised in JoCo, KS, but I try to refrain from the constant "advice" (which is really poorly masked criticism) which seem so abundant in our fairly well-to-do suburb! My oldest is almost 3 and still not potty-trained...in fact, doing about where your almost 2 year old is! I can't say I waste more than an hour's thought a week on it! I'll be happy to give you some free "advice"...don't sweat it; it's not likely he'll be in diapers in kindergarten! And by the way, it doesn't sound like he's quite "ready". Kids mature in different ways at different times, and some are more stubborn than others (it often means they are strong-willed and like to think things through for themselves!) That trait will serve him well later in life, I'm sure! I don't just spout opinions, I am a physician with plenty of training in developmental milestones. Your child sounds advanced for his age, and you sound like a wonderful mother--possibly from the South? I only say this because it also sounds as if your child has wonderful manners, which seems to be instilled in children more in the southern states! Keep your chin up and don't sweat the small stuff!

1 mom found this helpful

I completely understand what you are going through! My daughter is 2 1/2 and has absolutely no interest in using the potty. She is the most stubborn child I have ever met, and I suspect that she won't use the potty simply because she knows I want her to. :-) I agree with you that not potty training your child by the age of 2 has nothing to do with being a lazy parent; it is simply a matter of a child being ready or not. I need some ideas too!

1 mom found this helpful

1 / 3
Required Fields

Our records show that we already have a Mamapedia or Mamasource account created for you under the email address you entered.

Please enter your Mamapedia or Mamasource password to continue signing in.

Required Fields

, you’re almost done...

Since this is the first time you are logging in to Mamapedia with Facebook Connect, please provide the following information so you can participate in the Mamapedia community.

As a member, you’ll receive optional email newsletters and community updates sent to you from Mamapedia, and your email address will never be shared with third parties.

By clicking "Continue to Mamapedia", I agree to the Mamapedia Terms & Conditions and Privacy Policy.