April 11, 2008,
B.H. asks from Mc Lean, IL on February 05, 2008
Relocation of Family Due to New Job
I'm wanting to know what other mom's think about relocating my family to another state. My husband has recieved a job offer that is financially well worth the move. We are parents in our mid-30's with 3 children: 10, 3 and 4 months. I'm worried about my 10 year old because he's in 4th grade and well established in the school and friends. My husband and I have decided that it's best for our future to make this move, but I was wanting to hear first hand stories from those of you who have been through something like this.
Thanks so much,
M.L. answers from St. Louis on February 06, 2008
As a military wife with 3 kids (now 16, 16 and 15) who have moved 6 times during their lives, I will tell you that RESEARCH will be your best friend if you decide to make this move. No matter what, the kids will miss their friends and schools and routines--especially because they've never moved before. But if you're well prepared in the areas of schools, soccer leagues, dance schools, boy scouts, parks, zoos, and other "fun things to do" (or whatever your kids are interested in etc., it will make the transition much easier. Also, if a child (especially the oldest) has a particular friend that might be able to come for a visit a few months after you move, it's very empowering for the child to be able to show the friend around the new place and tell them all about how great it is (this works with grandparents too). You need to find as many positives as possible--and the kids will feed off of your attitude. Every time I've met a kid who talks about how awful the new town or school is, I've found that they sound just like their parent. Ultimately, you're the parents and your kids will look to your example for how to deal with this--if you stay positive and make the move an adventure rather than a traumatic event.
1 mom found this helpful
J.N. answers from Kansas City on February 05, 2008
As a former Air Force brat, who moved every three years until I was 18, I can tell you moving at the 4th grade is a lot easier than waiting till they are older. From about 6th grade to 12th grade it is like friendships start to harden off and new-comers have a really hard time fitting in at a new school. I think you and your husband are correct if this is the right job for him then this is probably about the best time to move the family. Good Luck!
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C.D. answers from Springfield on February 05, 2008
I think it really depends on your child. Does he make friends easily, outgoing, lively? If so then he'll likely adjust fairly easily.
A.R. answers from St. Louis on February 05, 2008
My family and I were in the same situation like you and your love ones. It was my husband the one who got a great opportunity here in STL, I am a stay-home-mom, and we lived in IN for a long time with great friends and part of the family. We were so used to our environment and people we met over there. We have a 7 yrs old kid and another one of 2 yrs. old. I know is not the same as yours but we, all, went thru the same changes that you probably would.
My husband and I thought that obviously would be for the better of our family so we made the decision to move here. It has been great!!! The kids, spite of them having their friends and life established, I mean the oldest, he has adapted really well. Of course, he missed his old friends and school. He really did, and still does, but when we knew about this, we told him that it would be for the better and he will have new friends and school. It was not easy, but he overcame everything, and he is so happy with new school and new friends here. Think that everything is for your future, and children get used very well to changes; and that teach them that life is just that: changes. Alway think that changes are for the better. My husband and I made a research before we moved, and we asked people about places to live, schools, etc.; we came to STL before moving, etc...My husband was very sure about the next step, and he made sure also that everything with his new job was in order. At the beginning,it is not easy and with the moving is really hard.Lost of things to do and with kids!, but it is worth it. Include the big ones in every step of the moving like packing their favorites things,and accept their opinions... believe me..they have such great ideas! Make everything fun and have a lot of patience. It is not easy but is really good when you know things are for the better, and all this goes into your children. We still miss our friends, but we will have new ones!!.The kids will be fine. We are happy in STL and even when we don't have many friends yet, we are happy.
Go ahead! and Good Luck!
L.P. answers from Kansas City on April 11, 2008
Hi B., My husband and I have just made that same transition, my husband was offered a job, we have relocated to MO. from Illinois where we were both born and raised. I shared the same worries, My daughters are 4 and 8. They have adapted very well, they love their new school and have plenty of new friends, it's like we've been here forever and it has only been 4 months now...
I say go for it.
R.C. answers from Oklahoma City on February 05, 2008
Our family recently moved from Tulsa to Edmond for my job change. It was a great career move for me and my husband found a wonderful job here too. We have a 2 year old daughter and I thought it would be no big deal to move her at this age. I was wrong. She cried every day we dropped her off at daycare for about 5 weeks. I also underestimated how much I would miss my friends. Even though we didn't move that far away I miss being able to do lunch and dinner plans with our friends. Having said that I think overall when we make friends and build relationships we will enjoy living here quite a bit. I would recommend that you mentally prepare yourself for the first few months after you move it will be tougher. If you can plan for a few friends/family to visit and help "unpack" or get to know your new city the first weeks and months after you move it would be helpful. good luck.
A.H. answers from Tulsa on February 05, 2008
I think that at this age, moving should not be a big issue. I moved around a lot as a child (I'm up to 17 moves now) and I always did ok. I think that it can be a really good thing, especially in the long run. When I graduated high school, most of the people there had lived there their whole life, so they only went to college an hour away and ended up moving back home to work afterwards. They missed out on a lot of opportunities because they were scared to be away from the one place they grew up. It's always great to have new experiences and to meet new people, so go for it!