Relationship Problems!

R.,
Im sorry to hear things arent going well with your current realionship. Not to sound insensitive, but, mabe you should let it go. i know you sacraficed alot already but think about your future...was hanging around with other women and spending his nights texting them instead of spending quality time with yo i think it speaks for itself that he would rather be with those other women and therefore he could never give his whole self to you which you deserve. maybe you should take a break and focus on yourself right now and dont waste your time being depressed ( i know so easy to say) just try to live life for yourself for a bit and you may find your much happier without a chaeting boyfriend bringing you down. just think...would you want a man like that involved in your childs life?
good luck

R.- I just have to say....what are you thinking!?! Why in the world would you even consider staying with this guy? A relationship is based on love, mutual respect and most of all TRUST- he has violated all three.You need to share the same morals, if not, it's NEVER going to work!!! And... is he that arrogant or just plain clueless by letting you find those emails.It sounds like maybe he wanted you to find them.You have enough to worry about when it comes to taking care of yourself and your child. And taking that emotional energy away from your child by worrying about whether he's being faithful or not is just wrong.Of course break-ups hurt, but he should be the one reaching out to you- not the other way around. M. k

I would keep a close eye on what he does for now on. I'm telling you this from my past experience. I had some similar things happen to me also. But in the end I chose to forgive him and give him another chance because he really showed to be and proved to me that he was very sorry for hurting you. The heart ache and pain will stick with you for a long time. Even with me now two years after all of this happening I still become very upset about these things. It is very hard to move forward after the person you love cheats on you. Trust your heart. I would really talk to him and let him know how you feel. He really need to prove to you that he is sorry other wise you are not going to be able to trust him anymore. I know what you are going through and it is not fun at all. I hope things start to look up for you.

R.... I don't know how else to put it, this is NOT a good, healthy relationship. The KEY reason, I would say, is in your own words: you say you put a lot into the relationship, "gave up friends and family". Well, no good, decent man would want you to miss out on those you love, that would be incredibly selfish, a one-sided relationship in which you lose people you care about. I know you love him. It is a severly dysfunctional relationship when someone has to seclude themself for the other person. That verges on abusive, right there. If you lie down with dogs you end up with fleas, as the saying goes. This guy's a dog, let him keep his fleas. Once a cheat always a cheat, you can bet on that. I'm sorry is an easy thing to say when you don't mean it, just to pacify or shut the other person up. The ONLY way I would stay in a relationship with this guy, if I were you, is if you BOTH attend counseling sessions together to work on your relationship. If he's not willing to do that, screw him, seriously, cause there are so many other fish in the sea, he can SO be replaced with someone who's going to RESPECT YOU, Aretha Franklin said it best!!!!!!! RESPECT, that's what you need, and what he's not giving you!!!!

Any relationship where you have to give up friends and family is not one you should be involved in. You have to ask yourself if this is a safe and loving enviroment you want your child to be in? Sounds to me you should cut your loses and move on, find someone who will love and respect you, your child, family and friends.

You deserve better girl. Kinda going through the same thing...would love a friend totalk with about these things. Feel free to email me ____@____.com... I live in Branford and am moving this month... without my man..due to the same things...very hard. But You deserve better... and yes it hurts, BUT it does get better. My name is L. I have a 17 month old baby boy and I am 36 years old. Ok Hope to talk

I think you should stay strong for yourself and your child. Your fiance doesn't sound like a man that you can trust for a lifetime, even if he's sorry now. Sounds like everytime you may have something going on that takes time away from him, he'll be running off with other women. My opinion is to leave him, he is just not worth it. You have to love yourself enough to know you should not be treated the way he treats you. I suggest you get some professional help to be able to help with the seperation. It may be very difficult at first, but remember you can always do better on your own and you don't neem anyone to bring you down this way. Good luck, and try to reach out to a someone that can help you deal with this issue...

Hey R., I'm sorry to hear all you are going through. Here is my two cents. One, if you are already questioning your relationship DO NOT get married. Trust is a huge part of marriage. If you don't have that forget about it. You have a child now and that should be your first priority. If you are questioning your relationship you have already answered your own question. I have been married for 10 years, have two girls and NEVER NEVER not trusted my husband. Second, Never give up your friends. Those are the ones you are gonna need to lean on when you need a shoulder. If you need to vent I'll listen
Good Luck

No One should make you feel that way nor should you have to give up your family,friends and respectively your life and yourself for anyone. A true love excepts you for who you are and what you have surrounded yourself with. Always remember that your worth more, you deserve respect and someone who cherishes you, if your not getting it maybe you jumped in to quick. If he and the relationship is worth it try some counseling now befor you get into marriage. I hope everything works out for you and your family.

I was "disrespected" too. I pretended i didnt know about b/c i guess that made it easier for me. but when i found out his password and i saw what he was saying to other girls i broke it off for good. I personally want him out of my life and my son's life. We have a 6month old together. My suggestion to you is do not attempt a relationship with this person no matter how sorry they say they are or how sorry you feel for them. Know that you are a better person because you had enough respect for him and for yourself not to do the same thing. Thats what gets me through my days. I hate to admit that i do still have feelings for someone who did me so wrong for so long. I lost who i was for a while. I became me and this person. Now im learning to like me again just for me. I find people around me liking me more too. If you can try to do the same thing i think you will be okay about being alone at night. good luck

You sound so sad and down. Firstly I want to tell you that YOU did NOTHING wrong. You are in NO WAY responsible for him creeping on you. Second it may be the hardest thing but for your son I would say that you have to face the fact that you don't trust him (your fiance). Won't you be waiting for the next slip up? I don't know how you could live always wondering. You have a son to worry about and when he comes back it will get better because you will have him to focus on. In the mean time...how about reaching out to your family and friends. Just tell them you are sorry and lean on them. Find yourself...I had a rough patch with my boyfriend(now husband) although nothing like what you are experiencing...and getting to know me was very good for us. I wish you the best of luck.

The things we women go through.. . try to work things out. Go see a counselor if he's willing. I feel your hurt. I've experience the same issues with the phone log and texts all hours in the mourning. See a counselor like i said before and if he refuse to, move on and leave him alone. Sorry for your pain. Be strong for your child.

Hi
Are these females friends that u know like met before? It doesnt seem right, but i would talk 2 him first. I know how u feel, but if he admits he cheated, then u know what think about the better men that are out there.
Good Luck, i hope all works out for the best!

hey R., wow i dont even know where to begin relationships take alot of work but if you found phone records and even text messages from other girls i think its best that u guys take a short break or something to see where things end up and you said since you moved thats things are better in your life and i know you have a kid and you have to do what's best for you and your kid.well just think about what i think? GOOD LUCK GIRL !!!

I think that I am the last one to comment on your situation but I just wanted to give you a simpathetic sholder to lean on.
I will first tell you that I have never been engaged and my last real relationship was with my childs father that left me and her right after she was born 2 1/2 yrs ago. I am no expert in the feild of relationships and this is only my opinion.
I think that you both should do some conceling or relationship mediator to see if the relationship is worth saving. I beleive that when someone is looking for someone other then their partner, its because their partner is not giving them what their want AND the person is not telling their partner what they want. You guys have to determine what you both want out of a relationship and if you can supply it to eachother. Having someone there between you stops it from getting too heated or getting off topic.
I also suggest that you don't use friends. Find someone that is trained in the matter so that it is done correctly.
I know that it requires a lot of work and it now seems like you should give up. Talk to him ask him if he wants to save his relationship and if he is willing to do the work then I say go for it.
Hope my verbal garbage was helpful.

Your son deserves better. If you dont think you deserve better (which you do!), think of him. This man has evidently disrespected you AND the woman he is texting etc, you have no idea what info he is feeding them. The question you have to ask yourself is, what kind of example is this man for my son!! Children learn what they live and if he is exposed to a man that clearly has no respect for woman, GUESS WHAT!! No mother wants that for their child..... Another point, DONT GET MARRIED! If you are questioning it NOW, imagine what doubts you will have down the road. I was there - I lived it and now I spend my life in family court! You will find a man who values you, may take a while, BUT WORTH THE WAIT!!
Good luck and be strong for your son.....

Get out now! I know it seems hard but I can tell you from experience ... I am in a relationship of 8 years and I've caught him cheating, texting, voice mails, letters etc. Once a cheat always a cheat. They may act like they feel bad about it but they only feel bad because they got caught!!! Your child will be back before you know it - get yourself together so you can be happy and make your child happy. If you're miserable worrying about whether this man is cheating or not (and he will be cheating), you cannot make your child happy! It sounds like you were in the early stage of the relationship ... Don't waste your life, time and energy ...