Relationship Advice - Altamonte Springs,FL

1) Get a Lawyer.
2) Keep money on the side for you, if you can.
3) TELL your family or friends...
4) Find a shelter
5) if he stalks you or threatens you if you leave... call 911 and file criminal charges against him.
6) Take a current photo of yourself, your daughter (and son), so that IF they/you end up missing... you can show the police/anyone what they look like.
7) Keep a cell phone with you at all times.
8) Get a Restraining Order against him.

**He seems to go away and on trips a lot... so this is YOUR chance to leave.... and hide or go live with family/friends... and if you don't have any money... ask friends or a Church to shelter you... really, think about ANY resources and protection for your children.

WHO has full custody of your daughter? WHO's name is on the birth certificate? TELL SOMEONE of the THREATS he made to you, about taking your daughter.... DOCUMENT EVERYTHING so that you can tell the officials and to protect yourself.

Your Boyfriend is no Father. He is a jerk and abusive. Abusive. KNOW that.

If you fear for your safety... you NEED to make plans... but do NOT tell him, or he will probably retaliate against you.
BUT, tell your friends and family AND of the "threats" he made to you... have them help you or stay with them.
Tell them your are afraid for your life... and your child's.

Your Boyfriend seems pretty scary and abusive. LUCKILY YOU ARE NOT MARRIED TO HIM. DO NOT marry him. I assume you are not married?

YOU NEED TO MAKE A 'PLAN B' and leave or you or your kids may end up very hurt or further abused.

All the best,
Susan

It sounds like there is a big communication barrier between the two of you, and unless he's willing to discuss with you what he feels about the realtionships and what he really wants to do then there isn't even the beginning of a process of repairing the relationship. If he's emotionally abusive and threatening then it's not a safe situation to remain in for you or the kids. You need to get a support system in your community to help you be safe and manage things if you feel you are ready to leave this man.

Make your way out of the relationship...I was in a relationship for 7 years with the father of my two girls and that description you gave could have been him....leave.

I tried to accommodate him and his needs the first 2-3 years but nothing changed. I tried to make demands and I even tried to partake in his fun. He made it clear that he didn't want me there, and well my demands fell on deaf ears.

I did everything related to the house, kids, car....he put some of his paycheck toward 'helping' but that was it....and he rarely made time to just play with his children.

So, I ended it. When he realized I was serious he got upset; tears, anger etc. In the end he said 'for what ever was wrong with MY life, he wasn't to blame'

I have been away from him for three years, and I am happier than I have ever been...as are my children. They try to call him all the tim but often he's busy. It kills my 8 year old but my 6 year old has moved on. I have a new guy in my life who, though they are not his kids, makes time for all of us everyday...who helps me with everything...and when he has some special activity that he's planning, he tried to include us.

I wish you all the the happiness in the world, but you may have to walk away to find it...

Good luck !!
J. J

A.,
You are in an abusive relationship and in order to protect your children it is time to seek help. I know you love your children and this is what you want to do, but you are afraid. Fight your fear and take the next step for the safety of your children.

I do not live near you but I went online and found this crisis hotline telephone number: 800-500-1119
Call and talk to someone. See if you can get a referral to someone that can help you.

I also saw the name of a lawyer, but I have no idea whether that would be too costly for you.
Here is a weblink to that one: http://www.themillerlawgroup.net/Family-Law-Overview/Dome...

YOu have taken the first step by admitting you are in trouble and fearful. That is wonderful! Now....Love yourself enough to ask for help. Don't try to figure it out all by yourself.
I am sending prayers to you.

Get the heck out of dodge. Your children should be your main priority and he is hurting them!!! Now you ... You deserve a life which will or will not include a man. Focus on you and your kids. You are practically living that way. He threatens you because he wants you around to take care of him plus an extra income. Are you married? If not, run and run fast (with the kids of course). Sticking around will only give your kids negative feelings aboiut relationships. My 2 cents.

He's going to Vegas for a party? That's your chance to pack up and leave. Get a friend or family to help, and pack up everything you want and go somewhere safe. Even if it's a women's shelter. Talk to a lawyer immediately and do NOT go back no matter how many promises he makes (for he will make promises).

You deserve better.

There are women's shelters in EVERY area, find out where your local one is, call them when you are out of the house, make your arrangements, DO NOT tell ANYONE what you are doing (keeps them out of harms way should he actually threaten someone else) pack a very small bag, take a small special toy for each of the children, take the kidz & go to the 'store'...GET OUT NOW! I know women who have had to take this rouad. The shelters normally help you to get a job, a place to live and counseling while you are there...remember to keep all of this quiet...contact N.O.W. if you can't find anything in the Blue Pages of the phone book...get to a computer that is at the library so there are no traces of your plan...So very sorry...I will be happy to help further if you drop me a line...A.

I agree with the first response from N.W. - pack your stuff and leave when he goes to Vegas and do NOT go back. Be sure you file a restraining order as well. You can be miserable all by yourself. Plus, your children will think that it is ok to act like him when they get older. Why would you stay with a man that is disresoectful to you and your children?

if you're worried he will take your daughter (which it doesn't sound like he could really do that, he's probably just bs'ing), start keeping a journal of the nasty things he says, what he does on a daily basis, how many times he takes off to do fun things leaving you with the kids. anything that you observe that you think is noteworthy. it might help you later. keep track of this for a few months and then talk to a lawyer. you don't say you're married but if you two split up you'll want to have some kind of arrangement so that it's written in stone.

in reality, i bet if the two of you split up he wouldn't put out much, if any, effort to see her. which is sad to say, but mostly these men just want to scare/hurt you, they're not really interested in the actual work of raising a child. it sounds like he's nothing special. lose him. i think all three of you would be better off.

We all here ya, you are scared and emotional but honey, he is not going to change, are you going to put up with this and drag on the misery another year, or two of three? Make a plan even if it is to stay with someone you know just temporary, take the kids and do what you have to do but please get out now!

A.,
This is not a healthy relationship for you or for your kids. It sounds like it could even become dangerous. Find a women's shelter in your area and talk to a counselor. They can give you information about your situation and help you make an exit plan from your home situation. You have been with him for 4 years --is this the way he has always behaved or is this something new?? why are you sticking around when he treats your son and his daughter so poorly?? Kids deserve better than that! Good luck!

Leave, please. If not for yourself, then your children. If you need help finding an appropriate place to go, ask your local library for help finding a shelter for women and children until you feel safe enough to find a place on your own. I assume when you say you are afraid of what he will do, you are afraid of a violent reaction. Check with the shelter - they should be professionals about dealing with these issues, and they can help you decide whether it's better to tell him or to leave while he is off on a trip.

I agree with SH said, please do it! Don't be afraid to leave it is for your children!

Go to a lawyer and get a restraining order.

I hope that this is the advice you were looking for. You deserve someone who is going to be an equal partner in this relationship. I really believe it is time to close this capter in your life and start a new one. Only you know how harmful he could be and what lengths you need to go to to protect yourself and your children. However I really do thin it is time to get out. Move on with your life. If nothing else this will be an oppurtunity for you to stand your ground and express your expectaions to him. My husband and I almost got a divorce in 2005. I really believe that it was the best thing that ever happened to us. We communicate much better now. We are truely a lot happier. I think all though the next several months will be hard for you. At some point you will look back and be happier.

Why are you with him? I don't get it.
You were with him a year before you got pregnant- so you knew what he was like, and you do this to your son, and now wonder why.
Gosh- get out, get your son out, and you said he doesn't care about the daughter-
take her
You are the mom- pull yourself up by the boot straps- and do your job as mom for your kids.
Be the mom,
best, k

When he goes to Vegas, move out!!!!!!!

Get out of his hell!
Do what is best for you and your children.

Pray and stay close to the Lord.

I wish you the best.

God bless you all.

Your relationship is going nowhere. And it's nothing but an empty threat that your boyfriend will take off with your daughter. You said yourself that he won't even watch her for a few minutes. Do you really think that he wants to be 100% responsible for her? He's saying it to scare you. He's being emotionally abusive and if you care about your kids at all, you will find a way to leave.

Just ask yourself "Why do I keep this jerk in my life?" He's no good to you, your children or anyone. Get him OUT of your house and your life!