Relationship - Dallas,TX

Go, have fun and gauge the situation. Are they being considerate and really want you there, or is it a test and them trying to get him and ex back together? Only one way to find out... Just be yourself and gracious for the invitation. Chances are, we are reading way much into this and it's just a nice little birthday dinner.

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He tells you she wants him back AND doesn't respond quickly to your texts or calls? Sorry, I would NOT attend.

~I might even go one step further and let her have him, sorry!

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You would really leave him alone with a woman that wants him back? Go get along and the happier you come across the more she will feel uncomfortable. G. W

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Your boyfriend sounds pretty lame if he's telling you his ex wants him back.
I'd see that red flag right now. His family wants the entertainment of seeing you and his ex at the same venue seems to me. I think you would be uncomfortable UNLESS you and he have an understanding that he's going to be quite attentive to you while there. But if his ex and kids are there, hate to say it, but you will be third man out.
That's just the way it sounds.
If you have a great relationship with his parents and your esteem is strong enough to hang, go for it. It would make you look great if you can handle it and have a good time. Maybe it's a test?

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Tell the boyfriend that the ex can have him. You do not need all this drama in your life!! He wants to use the fact that his ex wants him back to make you insecure. Well babe, you are not in high school and do not play the high school games. His ex wife is going to be at the dinner? Why? To me it sounds like the family wants to create lots of drama between you and the ex. The boyfriend sounds pretty insecure and is enjoying all the attention he is getting. In my opinion, the ex doesn't need to text anymore because she can have him. I have been kicked around a lot in my life and chose to learn from it and one of the biggest things I have learned is that a relationship should be secure and not full of drama because things usually get worse.

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They have invited you so you should go. Her being there should not make you not go. She's the EX not you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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GO!!! Watch the interaction between him and his ex, AND the interaction between the ex and HIS FAMILY! If that's what you are willing to live with from now on, at least you'll be going into the marriage with both eyes open. Personally, I wouldn't go there if you paid me!!!

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i don't get why it's a big deal, and especially why so many people are telling you to leave him over this! his family has invited you, so clearly you're welcome. i'm assuming that your BF and his ex have a cordial relationship, since a) she's been invited and b) they do communicate a lot.
not going would say worlds about your own insecurities. (are you insecure? do you think he's still hung up on her?)
going would say that you are confident in your relationship and quite comfortable in her presence, which i hope is true.
if it's NOT true, then this particular outing isn't the issue.
khairete
S.

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I wouldn't attend, because I'd be kicking him to the curb. It's pretty obvious, where his affections are...and it's not with you.

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That relationship isn't done, you know that. Let him go.

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Not only would I not got, but I would also leave him. This is going to be your life if you stay. And it doesn't seem good already and it's only been 8 months.

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You were invited so why not. You have nothing to prove, just be nice and polite and have fun.

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The family has invited you. Unless he has been acting strange about you going or objecting about you going you need to go if you have any intentions of being serious with this man. They have children together, therefore she will always be there. Better to make your presence known as an important part of his life as early as possible. You will need to get used to having her around, and who knows - you may even get along. Stranger things have happened.

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Go to the dinner. If this relationship is going to last you need to get used to dealing with the Ex. They have children. She will be a part of his life forever, or at least until the youngest child is 18 (which might seem like forever, sorry!)

L. F.

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If you don't go, you are letting her run the show and she will know that and then you will be posting questions on here about her thinking she is in charge. Go and don't act like it bothers you and be firm and strong with your actions and not weak and timid.

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Actually this would be the perfect opportunity to see how your BF & X act together, if he response to her or hangs out around her more than you, then you'll know it's time to move on & find someone who deserves you & wish them the best.
You state that he response to her quickly, but not to you, but have you actually read the text messages she is sending & he is returning? If so, it it mostly about the children or more? And since he doesn't respond to you quickly I would bring that up too.
I think him telling you she wants him back is actually being honest with you, however when he said that, the question should have been..."Well how do you feel about that?"
I would bring it up before you go and let him know in advance that you can understand his children being there but why does his X have to be there? She could always just drop the children off & then come back...????
If you do decide to go, no matter how relaxed the restaurant is, dress REALLY nice as it is better to look over dressed than under-dressed.
Best of luck to you and remember 8 months is a short investment teaching you how to love the next man who may be perfect for you or how to deal with matters such as this in the future with your BF regarding his X.

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the way I see it you have 2 choices. 1, they have kids together so she is going to be in his life for the rest of his life so get use to it. Or 2 pack it up now and go if this isn't what you want to put up with. You can't change people, only yourself. I am sorry if this is blunt but this is an argument I hear often about the x. If there were no kids, the situation might be different but there are so I don't think you will be getting rid of the x anytime soon. She is there so if you are going to stay you are going to have to find a way to make it work!!

If your going to feel uncomfortable, maybe you should let his parents know how you feel and not go. Have something more intimate for the two of you alone at home.

I am curious how long they have been apart and if the divorce is final or they have just been seperated.
On knee jerk, I thought "only 8 months, ditch him." but on second thought, why not go, see how the situation is for yourself and then make your decision.
Have fun at dinner:)

RUN!!!!!! RUN FAST AND FAR!!!!!! It will only get more complicated if you marry him. He will ALWAYS be tied to her because of the children. If you marry him, you "marry" his ex-wife and their children. Don't just look at him, look at him within the context of his entire life set-up. Find a nice reason not to go to the party, and then another nice reason to move on with your life. Finally, you wouldn't be insecure, you'd be smart!

If the X gets more attention than you, let him go and move on. There should be no doubts after 8 months. Look for somebody without the baggage (or handles it better).

Honestly, I would ask reassurance from him if he wants me there-if he says yes then i would be there!!Of course he texts her back, they are his kids, it has nothing to do with her.

LEAVE HIM!!!! He puts his ex-wife ahead of you and she wants him back. You don't stand a chance with him. The fact that she is going to his birthday dinner is extremely inappropriate - unless they are dating behind your back. Whatever the case, this is a very screwey situation and you need to get out now! Break up w/ him now. Do NOT go to dinner! You are done with him. Besides, you deserve so much better!

Why would she be going in the first place? Either way if you are the girlfriend you should go as long as HE wants you to go.

Why would you just step aside? She is the ex, not you. If anybody deserves to go, it's you. I'm not sure why his ex is going to his b-day dinner. I know they have kids together but they are not married.

I would ask HIM if he thinks you should go. If he wants you to go, then go. If he says no, or that it is up to you, then I would not go...and I would consider curtailing the relationship.

Actions speak louder than words...

what a horrible awkward position to be in...on the one hand its so nice to have been included by his people its respectful of your 8 month old relationship. On the other hand, being there and feeling jealous or uncomfortable could lead to bad behavior. I heard this advice from my grandmother and it has made my life so much simpler...if you do nothing or say nothing you have nothing to apologize for. It will be so hard to just not go but here's another old cliche that is so so so true! If you love him let him go if he comes back to you he is yours, if he doesn't he never ever was. If you can keep from acting angry or jealous and have a something of your own to do then you will be the interesting one not the one who is chasing him or reminding him of all her bad habits.It's just one opinion but I would not attend even if i had to go to 2 movies alone or go visit my mom or best friend I would avoid it and mail a snail mail note to his Mom that says thank you so much for including me. I'm so sorry I couldn't make it!PS:DO something sexy and fantastic for his birthday on your own! also it sounds shady the family putting you both in this situation

what are your feelings towards him? is he important to you? if so, I would go, but I also would have a talk with him to find out where you stand, I would not stay home, especially since his family asked you to go, that must mean they like you...just go, hold your head up high and show dignity, if it doesn't work out between you 2 at least you've only been together for 8 months...then move on...

His actions are speaking louder than his words...RUN and run now! Time to move on...good luck!