Recommendations For/against Vasectomy Procedure?

Hi there, my husband and I have decided not to pursue him getting a vasectomy at any point in the future because of what my mom shared with me about my dad. My parents had my sister and I in their early 20s and were in no position to be able to afford another child. My mom became pregnant with her 3rd child and then had a miscarriage. At that point they opted for a permanent solution thinking a vasectomy was no big deal. Well, while my dad is not in chronic pain... he has confided in my mom that IT is just not the same. I didn't push for details about how it is different (these are my parents) but just from the sound of my moms voice I could tell that they both wish the procedure had not been done. Now, this was done in the early 80s when my dad was in his 20s. Things might have greatly improved since then, but in our case a vasectomy is not something we are going to consider. This is actually a good question for Dr. Oz or Dr. Phil, maybe you should email it to them so it can be covered on one of their health shows. Good luck!

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Oh B. it's fine....... My husband had it done 15 years ago after our third child.. I watched the whole procedure... SOOOOOOOO much easier for hubby to snip than for you to go through the Hyst...
Sinch, I know hubby is prob nervious...its fine
Go for it , you will look forward to not having to have the big worry about getting pregnant HA
H.

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Hello
There is more chance of health issues and chronoic pain to occur if you were to have your "tubes tied". The procedure for him is outpatient. It takes about an hour. If he follows the Dr. recomendations heal time in about a week. My ex and current husband have both had the procedure. My ex wanted to do things his way and made it harder on himself, but no lasting effects after the healing. My husband now followed the Dr. advice and was back to his normal activity level in three days. Make sure he gets tested before any marital activity so there are no unexpected baby that arrive after the procedure. Your sex life will improve with not having to worry about babies, birth control, etc.
Congrats.

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My husband had a vasectomy not too long ago and he is a big baby but lived through it all. He had a bag of frozen veggies on his parts for a couple of days and went to work afterwards just fine. He says now that he honestly never felt any pain, but wanted to keep it that way so that's why he kept off of his feet, etc. for a couple of days. It was not a big deal at all. It took 1 hour -outpatient and was not even knocked out for it.
I say do it! Good for him and you. You'll have worry free sex!! Everything goes back to normal afterwards.

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My husband got a vasectomy several months ago. He was a little freaked out about the procedure, but had no pain afterwards and no complications, no side effects - nothing. My opinion - it's the best form of permanent birth control for couples.

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My Husband had it done 4 yrs ago (right after our DD was born). He had minimal pain and returned to work the next day. Everything went fine for him. Good luck with your decision!
S.

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Tell him to go for it. Both my husband and brother had them with no problem at all. Instead of asking for a doctor's opinion here, why not consult with the urologist who is going to do the procedure? They can answer your specific questions. Good luck!

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My sweet hubby and I had "decided" as well, and I did BC for a year to make sure it wasn't just that I was fed up with the pregnancy, baby, I'm so tired I could scream thing. He got the vasectomy about 10 years ago, and never looked back. A little discomfort at first (a week? Maybe 2?) and really not so bad that he ever regretted it. He said it was mostly just tenderness and slight itching as the incision healed. He reported that both are/were pretty normal, even without the vasectomy, but this was just a little more frequent.

His biggest concern at the time of the procedure was that he might lose some of his drive the way animals do. Let's just say that didn't end up being a problem. If anything, both of us have more drive and less inhibition due to the fact that we aren't worried about getting pregnant. Be sure to stay on BC or use other protection for the appropriate amount of time that the doctor says, because you wouldn't want to find out that it wasn't fully successful the REALLY hard way.

My only suggestion is that you make absolute sure that you are both 100% sure, and then go for it. While it is reversible, the doctor should explain that it's not preferable to do a temporary sterilization. But do know that overall, the complications are few and far between, as far as I can tell. BTW, many men (I don't know why???) aren't exactly forthcoming about having had them, so you might know more than you think - perhaps it's not considered polite or something they want to talk about.

Anyway, know that you aren't alone, and while there are certainly risks involved with any procedure, if the risks are predictable, then the doctor will tell your husband prior to doing the surgery, and if they are not, then (in my opinion) the risk is worth the benefit of having it done, as long as that is what both of you want.

As to the "vasectomy causes divorce" post earlier - I can only speak to my own experience, but I would not make this a consideration. Divorce unfortunately happens, and I don't think that it has anything to do with the biological need to procreate. Couples who are "naturally sterile" don't necessarily get divorced because of it, they just have a harder time getting pregnant if they DO have kids. Blaming divorce on a medical procedure - even from WITHIN the marriage - I would consider an excuse to get out of the marriage, and if either of you is trying to find them, you will find them regardless of whether he has it done or not.

Good luck to you both!

JP

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Husband had this procedure done years ago, without any complications. Any procedure should be looked upon case by case, as health factors and family history are important. Once, satisfied with your doctor and the procedure. The best would be the mutual acceptance of both you and your husband. This long term decision should be without doubt and support with one another. Great that you are exploring the information. Good Luck!

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My husband had it done 4 years ago and we both couldn't be happier with the decision. Let me tell you that he was a total chicken; I had to do all the research, make the doctor's appointments for him and be with him through the entire procedure. He was uncomfortable for 3 days (which he later admitted that he "milked it" to get attention), but he wasn't greatly impared or anything. In fact, it made our love life better knowing that the risk was minimal. It was one of the best decisions we ever made.
On another note (in reference to the first post you received), I have 7 friends that have had this procedure, none of which are divorced due to this and still maintain healthy and wonderful marriages (mostly because of the birth control freedom! LOL).

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Chronic pain? Long term health risks? You are researching too much, and that comes from me, a natural-born researcher. You can find reasons NOT to do just about everything on the face of the planet. You are at far greater risk driving to your local market, but you don't give that a second thought. We live in a small town where people are open about such things, and I know dozens of couples who have made this decision. A vasectomy is far more simple than getting a tooth filled. Get it done. It is as easy as can be and you will never regret it.

Hi B., my husband had a vasectomy 30 years ago. He is now 60 years old and has never had any problems arising from the procedure. We were glad he had it done. I have not had to take birth control and feel that I am better health wise.

Dear B.,
I researched it too, and because of the fact that a man has 100,000 sperms to 'get rid of' every day, and a woman only one egg a month, the risk to auto immune problems is greater with the man getting a vasectomy. Because of a diabetes risk in my husband at that time, (which is an auto immune disorder already) we opted for getting my tubes tied. Even though they say the operation is harder on the woman, the long range results are better. The real problem I see, is: where do all those sperms go? They break their way through and get 'released' into the inside of the abdomen - the peritoneum - where they have to be reabsorbed (after they die and rot). That's a lot of work for a body to do (every day) and because the sperms are treated as 'foreign bodies', it taxes the immune system. I just don't think it's worth the risk (if I was the guy). It was a little easier for me since I did it right after delivery and was in the hospital already with my 7th child and was already in pain so I didn't mind going through with the operation! I had prayed for a long time really hard for an answer to the question "God, how many kids do you want me to have?" and finally had a dream that told me! Everyone's situation is different - Ask God if it should be you or your husband to get the operation. It is so delicate how can anyone else give you perfect advice?
Best,
R.

My husband got one after our third child and many of our friends have gotten it done also. Nobody I know has had any bad experiences, it has all gone good and very positive. My husbands was done 10 years ago. Best of luck

Hi there!
I can only speak from our personal experience, but my husband and I both feel that a vasectomy was the best choice and we are very glad he did it. He had it done a few years ago, it took one day for him to get back on his feet and then a few more days to be 100%. He didnt have much bruising or swelling because he went to bed with a bag of frozen peas on the incision and I had him take some Arnica Montana (homeopathic remedy) He did ask for extra anesthetic, and also a prescription for valium to take prior to the procedure. Doctors dont offer that, so I would be sure to insist on it for him. I sat by him during the whole thing, and it went quickly and smoothly. As far as after - sex is so much more enjoyable when you dont have the worry of getting pregnant in the back of your mind. You can just focus on the good stuff!Good luck!

My husband had a vasectomy about 5 yeas ago when he was married to his first wife. He did not want many more kids with her (They have 2 teenage daughters). He said the procedure was fast, easy and not that painful. When we started dating I was upfront from the start that I wanted kids. He told me all about vasectomy reversals, (I didn't know you could do that!!) Sure enough he had his reversal about 2 years ago and it was a success! We just started trying for another baby.

My hubby had the vasectomy since I was miserable on the pill and I thought it was fair since I had to carry and deliver to big baby boys! He was totally fine after a few days of discomfort and neither of us regrets the decision. I will also tell you that we've known 4 other men who went through the procedure and 1 of them ended up getting pregnant with twins! He readily admitted that he did not do the follow up appointments or follow the doctor's instructions so he had no one to blame but himself. The other three men have had no side affects and are all very happy with their decision. Good luck!

Hi B.,
As everyone else has said, DO IT!! After I learned I was pregnant with my third, we agreed this was our last. My OBGYN was impressed with my husbands willingness to take care of it (I've done all the work its his turn). He told us it is the most effective, and safe then getting tubes tied, and referred us to a doctor. My husband was on sofa for 1 day, no pain meds, and now one month later has no complaints. As a friend of mine said- It is such an easy procedure, They (men) can't even milk it for attention. I am proud of my man for doing it!

As a doctor, I can tell you vasectomy is quick and relatively easy (I used to do them until a few years ago). As long as your husband sticks with the recommendations and uses ice packs regularly and does not do anything the least bit strenuous for 72 hours, complications are rare. Schedule on a Friday and take the weekend off. It takes about 30min including prep time, consent, procedure, clean up, everything. Your other permanent option is tubal ligation - more expensive, under general anesthesia, can have changes in periods, etc. Vasectomy is much easier. Your only other semipermanent option would be an IUD as a consideration.

My husband had one done after our third child. Everything went great! He was sore for a few days but it was really easy. I suggest your husband gets it done on a Friday that way he will have all weekend to rest. My husband was out playing softball the next day. His brother also had one done a few months ago, and everything went great for him as well.
I suggest you research your doctor and I am sure it should be alright. We both are happy with the results and I know quite a few men who have had it done and there aren't any problems. Good luck!

My ex went through the procedure over 6 years ago and the only issue he has is that the MD who did the procedure made it so he could not have it reversed and he and his girlfriend want to conceive. Glad that he had it done, since he neglects his children and his support obligation. He did not have any problems and because the MD did it in the hospital setting, he got to be asleep during the procedure. Too bad I wasn't asleep during birth. (haha) he had pain after the procedure and if you asked him, he was going to die, but he is fine today!

My husband had it done about ten years ago. A little pain, the tissue was sore because of the few little stitches they gave him for about 2 or 3 days. He just iced it and never took any of the heavy duty pain meds they prescribed for him. He rested a few days with ice and did not work out for one week per the doctors instructions. He had no other discomfort of any kind. It's so very simple you can hardly call it an operation. It improved our love life 100%. Frankly birth control pills were detrimental to my libido. Best decision we ever made.

Yes, highly recommended. I wouldn't over-anticipate discomfort or long-term whatevers, my husband had one decades ago and what a relief. You cannot imagine how much BENEFIT comes from it.

First of all, a big pat on the back to your husband for considering this proceedure! So many men are too selfish or scared to even think about it.

That said, I would highly recommend the proceedure. My husband had it done several years ago and we couldn't be happier. I'm so thrilled that I don't have to trick my body with hormones anymore to keep from getting pregnant. Not to mention the money we save on co-pays now that I'm not buying those pills anymore.

My hubby has had zero side effects and his recovery was very quick. One good side effect was that not having to worry about birth control anymore has made us more eager to get together, if you know what I mean! I love him even more because he wasn't just willing to do it, he took the initiative to find a doctor, make the appt and go get it done. Follow through - gotta love it!

Best of luck to you, your hubby and your "3 angel babies"!!

Go for the vasectomy!!!!! It is the best thing my husband and I did for our marriage (and sex life!). My husband and I are both in our early 40's and nearly all of our married friends have also gotten vasectomies. The recovery is nothing . . . just some ice packs on the incision area for about a half a day. Sure, you can baby your husband for a whole weekend, like I did but trust me, it's practically nothing compared to childbirth. Go for it. Trust me!!!!

Dear B.,

My husband is 82 years old and he had his vasectomy when he was about 32. He is healthy as a horse, and always has been. C. N.

Hi! B. Iam a 46yr old Working Mom we have a 16 and 14 yr old teens. We sorry (he)had a vasectomy about 8yrs ago. He has not had any complications and our sex life is just as good as it was before. But now we are not worried about having another child. It is healthier for them than it its for us females. My kids were their and they have seen how it worked out and they say that when they grow up they are having 2 kids and doing the same thing that dad did.

Good luck:)
D.:)

Hi. Thought I'd share what I have encountered in our family. My Father-in-law had one years ago (he is 69 now) he doesn't have any side effects. My Husband had his 2 years ago, he breezed through his and was back to normal in under a week. My brother-in-laws have had them. One had no problems the other one the procudure was a little tough on him but now almost 3 years later he has no problems. I guess its like any medical sirgery though and has risks to it, but everyone I know friend or family that has had it done hasn't encountered any problems.
Hope this helps in anyway.

DH and I also thought about this for a long period of time, weighing all the alternatives. When we got down to the basics, it was just a much simpler procedure for him than it would be to for me (outpatient vs. major surgery w/anaesthesia, which we try to avoid if possible). I also did a little sleuthing among friends and found several men he knew that had already had the procedure and we sent all the men out together one night so they could talk about the reality of the procedure. Well, being men, they didn't really talk much (about that), but the option was there.

DH sailed through fine - I stayed in the room right by his side. I was so tense and distracted that I thought it was all done after the first side, and started getting our things together in preparation for leaving. When the dr. went to my DH's second side, I almost passed out - and this from someone who's not squeamish, at all. Just be prepared. I made up for it by being an attentive nursemaid, with frozen veggies at the ready. Some of the men friends actually came over to visit after (!) which buoyed his spirits, and he was up and ready to go after day 2 in bed.

Best of luck with whatever your decision is. (BTW, all our male friends who had the procedure are also still married...)

My husband had it done about 2 years ago-while I was pregnant w/ the oops baby. It was so quick, and he milked it for a weekend. I made him get his own bags of ice-please, I was pregnant. Plus, my dad had it 30+ years ago, and he is still kicking. I have never heard of any long term problems.

My husband had a vasectomy about 9 months ago with no complications. It was a good decision for our family!

How about Natural Family Planning? http://www.nfpandmore.org/

We also felt this was the best permanent solution to birth control. I felt I had given birth to my first husband's six children and this procedure had the least side effects vs me having a tubal ligation. My second husband did the same after we had one child together. I saw both experience different levels of discomfort and different lengths of recovery, but neither suffered from any long term side effects or problems. I felt I had given birth six times (I have a set of twins) and had experienced months of pregnancy and recovery and nursing babies and it was time for the men to step up to the plate to have a procedure done to address the subject of no more babies. I highly recommend it. We just planned for a couple of days of quiet and no activity and it all worked out fine. If you have any questions talk to his doctor and they will give you the statistics on the side effects and they are far less and few than a women on birth control for ever or a women having a tubal ligation. Good Luck with your decision.
D.

My husband had a vasectomy about 3 years ago. He drove himself to the doctor, drove himself home, used ice for about half a day, a little tenderness, and then everything was great! Most of our male friends have had it done, too, without a single complaint of discomfort after the initial healing. Go for it! It's simple, easy, and so much less complicated than getting your tubes tied or the risks associated with taking the pill for long term. Just make sure he's tested again 3 months after the procedure, and to follow any of the doctor's recommendations. Also, there's a high success rate if you want it reversed, just in case you ever change your mind. Good luck!

If you have a good doctor, the procedure will be fine. Try Dr. Phil Bosch in Temecula. He is the best.

I had a tubal ligation (tubes tied) seven years ago and I love it. One hour surgery (or less), I was home the same day and back at work quickly.

Something to consider...

If you decide on the vasectomy, make sure he does the all follow ups. I know 2 couples who got pregnant after vasectomies!

My only input is that of the four couples that I know (one personally, three through friends) who have had vasectomies, three have ended up divorced. I don't know why - I believe it has something to do with the fact that you CAN'T have more children regardless of whether or not you're ready to quit... just an emotional state of mind. Anyways, it just seems like that ends up happening a lot, so I would give it a LOT of thought before doing it.

Good luck!

Our story:

Walked into the Urologist office, husband got into a gown and was placed on the table with his feet in the sturrips (just like women do!) It was a treat to see him with his legs apart!!

The Dr. had me stay in the room during the procedure. At the head of the table.
The Dr. had made the incision on one testicle, when my husband started to become pale.
The dingy nurse was not able to turn the knob on the oxygen bottle, so they had to stop the procedure and give him 2 stitches.

So, my husband now has a one-sided vasectomy.
He laid in bed for a day with frozen peas on his parts and itched for about 3 months as the
hair on his manlihood grew back.

He needs to go back and get it done again. He has been procrastinating and 3 years later, has not had it done.

I Had a c-section and did better than his two measly stitches. Men are babies...!

Buy frozen peas and hang in there!!
M.