59 answers

Raising a Child with ADHD

I have a ten year old grandson diagnosed 6 years ago with ADHD. He is on medication, and it helps, but his behavior is terrible. I don't know how much is the ADHD, and how much is just bad behavior. He is argumentative, beligerent, confrontational, deceptive, and talks back almost all the time. He can be kind, loving, and sweet. You never know which child will respond to any given situation. He argues with anyone (adult or child), and if you tell him "No", he has a tantrum.
I need some help. He is straining our family to the max. I need some advise on how to calm him down, and help him get along with others, and stop constantly agitating
everyone. I'll be grateful for any ideas, or anyone's experience with this type of problem.

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Featured Answers

I have heard that some children with adhd have food allergies and have had considerable changes in behavior when they were taken off of foods with red food dye wheat and high processed foods. It maybe worth a try to take him off all foods that are processed for 2 weeks and see if there is a difference.

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I am a 68 yr. old g'ma also with a g'son with severe ADHD. I can't tell you but my daughter has extensive info on this. Her answers will suprise you. She is working two jobs so is very busy and wouldn't have time to join this site. But if you woul email her I know she will eventually help you. her email is ____@____.com

If the child can sleep through the night without waking up he doesn't have ADHD, he has a poor diet. Most kids don't need medication they just need proper nutrition. My nephew is the same way. My sister and I have good'ol fashion wooden paddles when the kids act up. Anytime there is a tantrum, talking back, bad behavior, etc... they get swats. It doesn't take many, they just need to know that we mean it. Along with a low sugar/high protein diet they rarely misbehave when we let them know that when we go somewhere that they will behave or get swats. If he's had too much sugar(or hardly any) it's hard to keep him under control. When the swats aren't very effective, we take privileges away or items they cherish along with swats. It works for us very well. Hope it helps.

More Answers

Look into DORE Achievement Centers. There is one in Grapevine on 121...I believe they are listed in the business area of Mamasource.

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Hi S.,
God Bless YOu!!! I know it must be hard. Have you tried limiting sugar? We go to a homeopath in Dallas who really can help with those issues and there are no drugs involved. Its alternative medicine and we have seen wonderful stuff with my son. My son is not ADD but has autism. If you google ADHD or ADD and alternative medicine , you will come up with some good info.
Good luck to you!!!!!
L.

1 mom found this helpful

My son was diaganosed and put on medication when he was 7. They changed meds a few times to get one that was going to "help." Although the meds helped him focus, he became aggressive about 6 mo after taking the one that appeared to be working for focusing. I found out after the fact and after research that a side effect was increased aggression. When I found that out, he was 13 and I decided to taok him off it - both he and I were glad. The counselor I took him to (not the one who prescribed the meds) specialized in ADHD/ADD. The first thing he told me is bad behavior is bad behavior and that I should discipline my son. Second, kids with ADHD/ADD need very stable and consistent daily routines. I also found out that many meds used for this condition are the same kinds of drugs used for depression - this is scary to know as so many drugs for depression have ill side effects. So first I would ask you to check and see if ANY side effects to the meds could be increased aggression. If so, it would be better to have him hyper and unfocused (which most boys are that way when they are young anyway) than to have him be aggressive. Most schools put kids with ADHD and behvavior problems in classrooms that have no consistant routine which doesn't help the behavior or the ADHD. My son began hating school because of this. Your grandson isn't any happier than you are with his own behavior and if it is allowed to continue, when he "outgrows" the need for the ADHD meds, his aggressive and beligerent behavior will remain because it became a way of life for him.
If I had to do it all over again, I would NEVER have put my son on medication for this. He is 19 yrs old today - a hard worker and intelligent and he tells me he wished I hadn't either.

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I highly recommend joining CHADD. Children and Adults with Attention Deficit Disorder. You can look it up on line. They have support groups where parents can share experiences. I also recommend counseling. I adopted 3 boys that had ADHD and the counselor along with medication saved my santity. The counselor would talk to the boys, and then to me. She helped me to understand what they could control and what they could not.
Blessings
the school or your doctor may be able to help you find a good counselor that deals with children.

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S., God blessings to you and your family! First if all, his behavior has nothing to do with ADHD. His meds may be causing it! They ARE mood altering drugs! I would get your grandson off the meds, get him involved in sports, or at the very least walking every day with you or the dog, and making him run 3-4 times a week. He is only 10, so he is still sweet and open unlike a teenager! A lot of people just want to place labels on people, or solve every problem with a magic pill, when what they really need is attention, guidance, prayers, and good parenting. You guys need to go to a Christian counselor to talk with your grandson and get to the bottom of his behavior. (Peter Kahle in Grapevine is very good; he is with Crossways Counseling.) Your grandson has obviously had to deal with serious issues at a very young age if he is not living with his natural parents. I commend you for raising him and for seeking advice on how to make his situation improve! I know raising kids can be hard and especially at your age! I have 2 stepkids and six biological kids ranging from 19 to 23 months old and one of each acted difficult and confrontational at times, one of them very often. The behavior changed based on what my husband and I did, on how we reacted, our consistency, love, guidance, church involvement they were in, etc. It has to do with what they feel and of course with sometimes manipulating to get their way... Change doesn't happen immediately, it is a process. But it keeps getting better! Don't despair and seek professional help, and really, let him be a person, himself, get him off the drugs, make him be physically active, do things with him, and get him talking. Best wishes!

1 mom found this helpful

S., I do not have any experience with this, but have you read the book "Is this your child?" by Dr. Doris Rapp. Her information is primarily based on food and environmental allergies and sensitivities and how it affects behavior. It is very good knowledge even if it does not completely solve the ADHD issue. Good luck.

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My heart goes out to you. I also reared an adhd child, adopted at 5 days. Pediatrician put her on meds at 2 years of age. At age six, we learned about vision therapy and how vision problems can cause adhd. I know not all are like this, but mine was. There was a total transformation in her once she was in therapy to correct a convergence problem in her vision. No more meds after 4 years!!! (THEN the pediatrician tried to tell me she was never ADHD! Well, why the meds, then?) Doctors do not consider alternative causes, so you have to take the initiative to learn about them. A qualified optometrist who specializes in vision therapy can evaluate your grandson and tell you if he suffers from these types of vision problems that prevent him from gaining any meaning from what he sees. I also agree with one respondant that you should have him tested for allergies. That also affected our daughter greatly, and later, her son, whom I reared. For you see, I also reared 2 grandchildren, so I know that burden, too. You didn't mention the parents' circumstances that caused your having custody, but if drugs were involved, especially during the pregnancy of your grandson, that too, could be part of the problem. I will pray for you. Before taking custody of my two, I asked a sweet grandmother, who had finished the same task, how she felt when her daughter brought the 2 children home to her. She said they were devastated, but now that it was over, she thought it was worth all the sacrifice and effort. She died a few weeks later with cancer. I considered it a conversation with an angel. I am now where she was then--through with my task, and I can say that there were blessings and heartaches, but God is faithful and will sustain you in ways you cannot imagine. May you be blessed, too. J.B.

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Hi S.,

A good pediatrician who works with kids with ADD/ADHD with nutritional/natural therapy is Dr. Deborah Bain, MD in Frisco. Her website is www.healthykidspediatrics.com. She specializes in these problems and heals 80% of cases with nutrition alone.

Good luck!

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