"Racism at Four?"

Hi N.,
I honestly think that you are making a big deal out of nothing. She didn't comment by saying the "n" word or anything that was "inapporpriate." She simply made an observation and I highly doubt she was trying to be malicious about it. If you perfer her to say African American, just let her know that, but it's really not that big of deal. Kids will slip up every now and again and leave us completely mortified by their sayings or behavior, but you've got to move on because this was really nothing huge. I doubt that any of the staff if they heard her would have taken offense to that either...she is 4, give her a little slack. Good luck.

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Did you ask her WHY she said it? She is four, she was probably noticing that the people there looked different than her and that SHE was the "odd one out", and it bothered her. (Hence the "complaining" voice)
Only other thing I can think of is that she was repeating something she heard someone say. After all you said you were out of earshot so maybe the people that heard her say said something to make her think about the fact that there are more black than white people at the place where she is vactioning.

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I doubt that it is racism, it was probably a simple observation about what made the trip different from being at home - and your friend projected adult bias into a small child's observation (does she have young children?). You didn't witness the tone so can you be really sure that it was a "complaining" voice? I ask because when we made a trip to the bahamas a few years ago when my daughter was about 5 she made the comment that there were sure a lot of black people around and did any white people live there or did they just visit? this in the cab from the airport to the hotel! - my sister and the other adults were mortified, afraid that the taxi driver might be offended and my daughter didn't understand why - she was observing the scene and commenting. I whispered to her that talking about peoples race made some people uncomfortable and she was incredulous - "They're not different from us as people mom, they just have different skin color - like you and i have different color eyes. why can't i say what I see?"

Even though you are raising her without prejudice it could very well be that she doesn't see a lot of people that don't look like her and that this difference was a significant part of her trip! no underlying racial prejudice, just that at 4 she probably hasn't had a great deal of exposure to children or people of other races! I wouldn't read too much into it.

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It's possible that she was just stating what she observed, and that the adults who heard it assumed a level of disdain that she didn't intend. Perhaps she was also noticing a distinct accent among the people, not just a difference in skin color.

You might start by explaining that people come in all colors and with all kinds of features. Note that cruise ships often fly a particular flag and hire crews from the same area, which would increase the likelihood of many people from one particular group of people.

Teach her the right words - Black or African American (or African), Latino, Pacific Islanders, Asian (and there are many subdivisions there, such as the Indian subcontinent), Native Americans & Inuit, and teacher her what she is - Caucasian. Then point out height differences among people, differences in hair color, people who get around on 2 legs vs people who use a chair, etc.

Teach her that the definition of who is "different" varies by where you are. She might be in the majority here, but what if she went to Kenya or Nigeria? How about all those Caucasians who were in the distinct minority during the Beijing Olympics? I am Jewish and part of a very small minority, but if I went to Israel, I'd be part of the majority. If you notice her reacting to people who don't speak English or who speak with an accent, ask her to imagine being in that person's country - Guatemala, or Brazil, or Korea, and trying to order a happy meal! Use whatever examples you think she can handle. Then take opportunities OVER TIME to reinforce this - you won't accomplish it all in 5 minutes. If you have a globe and can spin in while you identify a handful of countries, it might help her visualize it.

Then show her a box of 64 crayons and note that no 2 are alike. Then give her one crayon, perhaps a light tan color, and tell her that is the only color she is allowed to use. See if she can figure out, with your help, that a rainbow of colors in the box is no less interesting than a rainbow of colors in people.

People will not judge YOU by what your child says, but by how you handle it.

Good luck!

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Hi N.,
Are you sure that it was a "complaint" rather than an observation? I can't imagine a 4 yr old acquiring a racist attitude if they have not seen it demonstrated somewhere. Maybe she saw something on television. Did you ask her why she said that? I would just reinforce the fact that having different color skin is no different than having different color eyes or hair.

L. in Harpswell, ME
Mom of 3 homegrown and 1 beautiful brown skinned Haitian boy

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Hi N.... My first concern is, believe it or not, your friend's reaction. What's "not very nice" about commenting that there were a lot of black people?

What concerns me is that it seems to be human nature for us to jump to conclusions and think for everyone else. And here is a perfect example.

My thought is that a better reaction would be to live in inquiry with your daughter. Explore it. She might have a very different reason for what she said that anyone has made up about it.

So instead of immediately chastising her for making a comment (that, if we knew the thoughts behind it, might have been totally innocent), your friend simply inquired as to what she meant by that.

We can learn so much by suspending judgement and asking questions instead.

And those questions can lead to a conversation and in that conversation, there will be an opportunity for you to teach tolerance (and geography... and geneology... and kindness and compassion, etc.)

It's not too late. Please find a time when it's just a casual conversation between you and ask her about the trip. You can then mention how interesting it was that there were so many people with such dark skin - so much darker than yours.

That will lead to conversation about how we are all different, yet the same, etc... Good people come in all colors, as do people with bad behavior.

So instead of looking at this as how people with judge you (another conversation entirely! :-), how about looking at is as a gift? An opening?

I find that life is very different, and I am a much different (better) mother when I live in inquiry and try to see the gift in every situation.

Please try this and let me know how it works!

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quick story for you, when my son was four, we were shopping at the deli and told me he didn't want the brown lady to give him his cheese. I was beside myself, especially coming from a mixed race family. (I am one of 11, 9 adopted and from all different races).

I tried to calm myself and tell myself that this is not because of my not being a good mother but from the fact my son has not been taught yet at that young age that its NOT okay to describe someone by using there skin color.

I would talk to your daughter and let her know that everyone looks different but are all the same inside, that other people have hearts and feelings and you wouldn't want to hurt them. Also teach her to describe someone by the color of their hair or maybe their shirt/clothing and she will soon understand that its not okay to descriminate.

good luck :)

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N.,

There are a few pretty cool books out there that deal with issues of difference. Three I can think of are The Skin You Live In by Michael Tyler, The Colors of Us by Karen Katz, and It's Okay To Be Different by Todd Parr (this one is about non-traditional families, and I got it because my son has lesbian aunts). Maybe reading these together will put a positive spin on differences your daughter might notice.

Best,
J.

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hi N.-
i grew up around people of differant races, and i never had even thought that they were any differant than me and my family, i never saw color, i always saw a person. a mother and her kids in the park, a father and son fishing, brothers and sisters playing in the yard.
my daughter wasn't as lucky as i was, as far as not knowing other families. when she was about 5 i saw her staring at a person outside of a store. i could not figure out what in the world she was staring at. when i asked her, she said that she was looking at a burnt man and wondering if it hurt. i was so floored that she did not know that it was a man waiting for his wife. we got to the car and i sat and thought for a few minutes. i just didn't get it! i then took her back in the store and bought her a colored baby doll. i told her that everyone has a differant skin tone, and i asked her if she would please take care of a new baby doll. she was more than happy to. to this day (she is now 11) she sees people the same way as i do. the person that they are not what they look like.

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Children at that age do not understand racism. She simple realized that the people who worked on the ship were black. My children have both done the same thing,and commented on the color of the persons skin, weight, and handicap, all they really know at that age is "that person looks different from me and she is a different color". I usually simple say, yes that person is that color but, it is not polite to comment. Sit your daughter down and talk to her about it. Kids understand more than you think. Don't take it to heart that your friend thinks your a rascist either, if she has kids then she completely understands about the remark your daughter made and you should be glad she told her it wasn't nice to say that. If you feel bad talk to your friend about it. Good luck.

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I wouldn't think it's much to worry about. (Unfortunately) kids aren't born with naturally occurring manners. With my boys, who are 7 and 4, I've had opportunites come up where they've said, in close earshot of the people, 'he's really big' (meaning tall), or 'he's fat' or even 'the black skinned people next door'. I wouldn't have thought to teach them it wasn't okay to say that unless the opportunity came up.
I did tell them, right after it was said, that everyone is different. Even though in most cases it's a true fact, the person knows it about themselves. It still would hurt to hear 'the white skinned people next door' coming out of my neighbor's mouth or 'the skinny boy with freckles next door'. It's just not polite to say in public. If he wanted to mention it to me after we were past the person, that would be okay. It gives more of an opportunity to teach him (why do you think he's so tall...wouldn't that be great height to shoot hoops with?...or the person that was really overwight is a great chance to teach him the health problems associated with it and how important it is to eat right.

Being a teacher, you must love to have these opportunities! Just remember she doesn't know any better and MANY people understand ''Kids can say the Darndest things'' :-)
Good luck!!

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I wouldn't call it racism. My brother in law is black and sister in law white and the my niece told her father you're black I'm white. It could be that you just aren't around black people a lot and your daughter made that observation. I wouldn't worry racism is about thinking you're better than someone else. And kids just haven't learned that you don't say somethings. My brother at that age called a black person dirty and said they needed a bath. It was just an innocent remark(my mom was mortified).

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N.,

Do not worry! We live in an area where there are mostly white people. My daughters are not exposed to much beyond what is similar to themselves. Therefore, when I heard my daughter say something that I thought was rude and embarrassing, I tried quickly to explain/apologize/you name it. I probably made an uncomfortable situation worse.

I told a friend about this once and he told me a story about it happening to him when his children were young. He scolded his daughter. The woman who he thought had been offended told him not to (a black woman herself). She said that at that age children are only describing what they see. There is nothing wrong with it. Certainly, children should be educated as they grow, but I assume that there was no malice behind what your daughter said. She noticed a difference and described it when asked by others. End of story.

Again, you said that you were not there. Could the description of your daughter using a "complaining" voice be out of character/context/not really what happened? Perhaps she was describing what she remembered in a quizzical/uncomfortable voice because it was unfamiliar and therefore out of her comfort zone.

I wouldn't read too much into it. Children are not born racist. They are the most innocent of the innocents. They describe what they see--our job is to get them to describe those things in an appropriate way to be accepted in society.

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Hi N.,

First let me say that boy, isn't it fun what comes out of the mouth of babes? I once had my daughter ask, "Mom, why is that lady so fat?" while in line at the bank. I took the time right then and there to say(in a voice loud enough so that everyone could hear, including the lady), "Honey, people come in all shapes and sizes and colors. Everyone's different." Then later, at home, I took the time to explain that it's okay to notice if someone looked, acted or sounded different, but to ask me about it privately so we wouldn't hurt someone's feelings.

You say your daughter was "sort of complaining." Is that just your interpretation because of the comment, or did you actually hear it in her voice? Has she ever complained about things like this in the past? As the other moms said, children absorb everything like little sponges. Even if you and Dad didn't say anything negative, if your body language or mannerisms changed around darker skinned people she might have noticed. If this isn't the case, she may have seen/heard a babysitter/grandparent/family friend/TV show where this happened and noticed it. It could be she had a negative experience with a darker skinned child at the playground or preschool and retained the negative attitude, even if the incident had nothing to do with race. Something had to change her attitude, because children aren't prejudiced from birth; it is learned.

I would recommend you add multicultural items to her toys at home (kitchen setup, dolls, etc.) to help her understand that we are all different in humanity. For example, put a cleaned empty shampoo bottle next to a cleaned empty jar of hair grease in her play kitchen. Explain that little girls and boys with coarser textured hair than she wash their hair less often and grease it more to keep the scalp and hair from drying out. There is a wonderful book, Happy to be Nappy (Jump at the Sun) by Bell Hooks, to help with this discussion of differences. The multicultural baby doll idea is a great one too, as are multicultural puppets. You can even make multicultural sock puppets using socks in different flesh tones, from pale tan to dark brown.

I am a firm believer in using literature to teach little ones, so try to find as many books about the subject as possible and display them. Brown Like Me by Noelle Lamperti is one of my favorites because it uses true life photographs, and Bein' With You This Way by W. Nikola-Lisa has wonderful illustrations of children of all different races.

You can use this experience as a jumping point to introduce your daughter to other differences as well, for example, differently abled people in wheelchairs or with Down syndrome.

Good luck and I hope this helps,

M.

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N.-

That is a touchy subject. I can tell you that when I was that age I went to a montisori school and I had made a friend there who was black. When I went home that day I told my mommy that I had met a girl who I thought was poor, my mom asked me why I thought she was poor, and I told her that it was because all of her skin was brown and dirty!!! So I can tell you that my comment was of innocence, I know you are hoping so is your daughters.
My mom explained to me that there are people from all over the world who all look different. We are a relilgious family, so she told me that God made us all different and beautiful in the Lords eyes. We need to respect our differences and love eachother for them, after all, the world would be a pretty boring place if we all looked the same and acted the same...etc.
I don't know if this helps, but I am not a racist, and I would maybe take it as an opportunity to educate your daughter about all the different people of the world.

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Children of your little one's age only use color to categorize people for themselves in innocence, they do not understand what it means to be racist. They see it as a difference, yes, but just in terms of what they actually see! My daughter once asked the neighbor across the street if God had painted him because he was a very dark man from Jamaica. He thought it was sweet! She also referred to friends at day care with the same name as the Brown Mikayla and the White Mikalya as a way to differentiate them for herself. We gently shaped that into using last initials. This is a good time to open a dialogue about how the color of people's skin comes from where their ancestors came from in the world and on the inside all people are the same.
You can also explain that sometimes people's feelings get hurt because they feel different when someone calls them by their skin color. I'm am certain at her age she wasn't being mean. It is possible that seeing so many folks with darker skin color that SHE might have been the one feeling different or even a little afraid. Kids can be afraid of things that are new or unfamiliar. Treat this as a learning opportunity and all will be well.

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I think explaining it from some people use different words. A long time ago people used "black people and White people" but now that use use Americans if you are from america and Chinese if you are from China. But there are lots of different varieties. From a 4 year old if they saw a black kitten, they would not call it a american short hair, they would just call it a black cat. So she is not prejuduce. Just observant. We need to guy them to see that some people are different but it makes them feel bad if we say it, so we dont when it come to people

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Hi N.,
I don't think that what your daughter said was racist. She was simply noticing the differences. I think the friend saying "that's not nice" was probably not the right thing to say. Your daughter is noticing differences in people: short, tall, fat, skinny etc. I'd simply respond that alot of the people who work on the ship come from another part of the world and look different than we do. What an incredible opportunity for you to teach her about various cultures and races. As far as the "complaining voice", maybe ask her what she was upset about. I'm sure it didn't have anything to do with the color of the staff's skin.
By the way, I am the mother of a 2 yo biracial son and stepmother to an 11 yo and 9 yo girls. I'm always talking to them about "isms"- ageism, fatism, racism etc.

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young kids say whatever is on their mind without thinking about what they are actually saying. When we went to Hershey, PA my oldest who was 3 at the time asked an African American couple if they ate too much chocolate. I wouldn't worry about your daughters comment.

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Once, when my nephew Alex was around that age, my sister and I were walking downtown with him to the library. He was into playing pretend and told me "I'm a bear, you're a hawk, mama's an elephant." We all started walking funny and making silly animal conversation even though my sister wasn't delighted to be the elephant. Unfortunately Alex pointed to the first person he saw, an African-American woman, and shouted "Look, a monkey!" She gave us the evil eye and there was no amount of apologizing or explaining that was going to fix that first moment of horror. Poor Alex had no idea what he was saying, but it did damage.
We live in a culture that divides and subdivides us by gender, religion, skin tone, weight, economics, etc. All we can do as parents is educate our kids that everyone is a person and try not to take everything that little ones say so seriously.

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Kids really do say the darndest things!My almost5 yr old asked his father if he was going to be having a baby because his belly was big like mine when I had a baby in there...lol.
I actually had a small problem with him a few months ago. I had a friend come over to help with some work and he happens to be a 6'2 black man. My 4 yr old was very wierd with him. When he left my son says "why was that bad man here?" I said"what bad man?" He said" the black guy" in shock I asked why he was bad and my son answered" because the black guy is always bad in star wars".......soooooo. He goes to a great preschool and is friends with everyone but the teacher had noticed he was acting wierd to one of his friends.....well we understood why when he said this....all the bad guys in movies and video games are in black or dark colors so he just took it from what he saw...

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OUR plan, when it comes to color, religion, and diferences is to ignore it. I was brought up to understand the most overused statement in the world i think "we all put our pants on the same way". Therefore, if one of our son's sees someone with a handicap, of course they stare for a moment, we are quick to advise that even that person puts his/her pants on the same way as we do. there is a lyric in a Bon Jovi song which also helps us, he is my hero lol, "God makes NO mistakes".
Being in the Daycare system since infants we have never had to explain anyone's differences because our kids, thank God, do not see them. Maybe the last response was right, the comment should have been ignored.
good luck in the future.

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I completely disagree about it not being a big deal. I certainly don't think your daughter should be reprimanded in any way but I would certainly get the lines of communication going. She wasn't simply noting that there were black people there but complaining that they were there. That is a big deal IMO.

That said, I don't think it necessarily speaks negatively to you as a parent. Kids that age are noticing differences and if she isn't used to being around people of different colors maybe a judgment is starting based on that. Or maybe she heard someone else making some disparaging remarks at one time? Either way, she is still so young and will learn through you how to treat people.

Good luck!

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Unfortunately this is the age when kids are just sometimes very blunt. When I was her age a man at the grocery store said hi to my brother and I. He was a large man. I was a shy child. My mom never expected me to say anything. My brother did all the talking for both of us. Well, this time I looked at the man and looked at the ground and back up at the man again and told him he was fat. Now to me I'm sure I was just stating the obvious. I had no idea it was mean. My mom on the other hand wanted to crawl into a hole and die. I imagine your daughter just isn't around a lot of people of different color so it was strange for her. I don't think it was meant to be racist. I think you can just show her that people come in all shapes and sizes, but still they have feelings just like she does. I wouldn't make too big of a deal out of this because she likely didn't view it as anything wrong it was just something different than she was used to. Be glad that she didn't say anything to the staff on the boat ;).

M.

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Hi N.,

Well to be completely honest - your friend shouldn't have said ANYTHING to your daughter about her comment. I think she was simply making an observation. There's nothing wrong with what she said. I'm sure you live in an area where the majority of people that she sees in her every day life are white. So to bring here somewhere to see the opposite is a natural observation & she's just making a comment. Again no big deal. But your friend MADE it a big deal by making a comment about HER comment.

A few years ago, my oldest son, met my husband's friend Tracy. Tracy is black. We don't see him very often - if at all - because he moved to Chicago before we had our kids. Anyway, my son HAS seen black/brown/etc people & never said anything about it. But the day Tracy came over, my son went up to him & said "Tracy, did God paint you black for a reason?" I seriously almost crapped my pants!!! He meant no harm, he was simply making an observation & asked an innocent question ... Tracy answered kindly & we let it go. That's all - sometimes making a big deal out of something will just make it worse in the long run.

Good luck & cut the kid some slack - =0) although I DO understand your concern.

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hi N. -
this story reminded me of somethign that happened when i was 3 years old.
we were visiting my grandmother in Manhattan and my mother and i got on the elevator with an elderly black woman. in my innocent (and unfortunately, LOUD) toddler voice i asked my mother: "Mommy! Why is that lady's skin so dirty?"
my poor mother almost had a stroke, but she simply looked at the woman, then at me, and said, "look, my skin is darker than yours" as she put her arm next to mine, then she put her arm next to the lady's and said, "and her skin is darker than mine. people just have different color skins, that's all"
i was perfectly content with that answer "oh, OKAY!" and the elderly lady was smiling and nodding at us. it worked out just fine. it was simply the first time i had noticed that soemone's skin was so different from my own.

in any event i would ask your daughter what her comment really meant TO HER -- was she feeling isolated because it was the first time she was in the minority in terms of skintone? was she concerned about cultural differences? you won't know if this is "problematic" until you know what SHE meant by her comment.

best of luck!!
M.

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I've been in similar situation with my 3 year old (who is now 4). He is a very sweet loving boy so what he said came as quite a shock to our family! My husband is a twin and his twin and family come up to visit quite frequently. His wife is African-american and her oldest son is the darkest of all three of her children. My son had made a comment that he didn't like his cousin because he is brown. I was mortified, my nephew was a little upset and I was so worried that we had offended the family that it really brought me to tears. I don't think I handled it well at the time because I yelled at my son, made him cry and it didn't really accomplish anything. After talking to my son and thinking more about it, I realized that we are from an area that there are few or no black people! I also learned that it wasn't that he didn't like his cousin it is that he didn't know how to react to the dark skin.

I hope all this ranting helps you. Your daughter is most likely not racist. I would say that she is not used to seeing people of color and just doesn't know how to express what she saw. You know how kids are, they have no filter and even if they don't mean to sound insulting, they end up doing just that.

I would also say that we teach tolerance. I just had to keep telling my son over and over that everyone has a different color but we are all people and the color doesn't change who they are. I even went as far as to show him that my skin is a little darker than his, and different from his father's.

I hope this helps! Good luck!

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Hi N.,
There is observation and there is judgement. Observation is "there were a lot of black people." Judgement is (in a complaining voice) "there were a lot of black people." Not sure if you misinterpreted her voice, but you are her mother so I'm sure you would know best.

Several responses mention the subtleties of behavior that childen pick up better than anyone -- it's not what you say, it's what you do -- so maybe she's picked up on some things. Maybe it was just that she felt like a minority and it made her uncomfortable. GREAT teaching moment for it's like to be a member of a minority group. Explore her feelings with her and explain that this is why it's important to treat everyone with respect.

Another great teaching moment here involves culture and ethnicity. She referred to the people as "black" when they were actually Philipino. It's interesting how none of the other racially-sensitive responders picked up on this. Brown is common skin color among many different types of people.

It's great that you are sensitive to this. And don't shame her for her honesty! Just teach her!

Sidebar: please do not do the shampoo bottle/grease thing (posted below). It implies that black people have dirty, greasy hair -- a stereotype that still haunts black people today. Yes, black people wash their hair, it's just best that they avoid shampoos that contain SLS (sodium laureth sulfites) which remove oil and are harsh. Anyone (black, white or otherwise) with wavy, curly, kinky hair should avoid this. And most black people (unless they're really old, old, school) do not use "grease." They use moisturizers and conditioners -- as does anyone with wavy, curly, kinky hair. This hair type is irrespective of race. I know white people with kinky hair and black people with naturally straight or wavy hair. There is a great web site called NaturallyCurly.com that discusses everything for people (of any and every race) with curly hair -- the tips are the same regardless.

Hi N.- Considering your daughters age, I think her comment was probably innocent, in that she was noticing that most of the people were a different skin color than, I assume, yours. I also assume that she's usually not around so many people with dark skin. If her comments were followed by other negative things about the "black people", then it might be a matter for discussion. But it's probably her just noticing that there were a lot of people with black skin, something she doesn't see often.
When one of my daughters' was about that age, she watched a neighbor, who is black, entering his house. She asked,' Mom, why is that black man going in that house?" I was very embarrassed, especially since we were walking with friends who are black. I couldn't understand where this was coming from. I asked her later what she meant by it, and she said she called him a black man because he was dressed all in black-which he was! It was only MY interpretation of what she was referring to/possibly implying by her saying "black man" that caused a problem. So, try not to overreact.

Hi N.,
What you are seeing is not necessarily what she has learned at home, but from the larger community and the media. My husband is a pediatrician and has a mural in his office of kids at the beach, all races are represented. A little white boy of about 4 pointed to the Black children and said"those are the bad guys". Needless to say his mother was shocked, but I told her "this is how people of color are represented in the media and in the larger culture."

When people say there is no longer any racism and can't understand why people of color are still upset or hostile, just know that these innocent children are the "canaries in the coal mine", they see, record and say what you no longer register. The subtle things they see are the change in tone of voice when you speak to someone of another culture or race, tension in the body, being overly solicitous. I can't tell you how many times I've had parents grab their children so that they don't bump into me, as if I am particularly dangerous. And the grabbing isn't accompanied by "Johnny, pay attention there are many people around and you don't want to bump into them". It is silent and a look of fear is in the adult's eyes. I don't think they do it because they hate Black people, but are overly cautious about me taking offence at something their child might innocently do. All the child gets from that interaction is that people of color are somehow dangerous. Do you clutch your purse if a Black teen passes you in the street? Raising a child free of racism takes more that a couple of conversations, you have to look at your own level of comfort with difference. What you do is more powerful than what you say.

Apu

We never had a 'skin color' issue until we moved to the USA, and my daughter went through her first Martin Luther King Day - after that, the color of people's skin became something that she noticed.

For us, the issue is a little more sensitive because my father is dark-skinned (NZ Maori) and she began thinking that he was "black" (African American) solely based on his skin color.

The way I handled it was to explain first that skin color was a representation of a variety of different cultures, and that even people with "white" skin were all different. Then, anytime she said something about someone having a certain color skin (no matter whether it was black, white or otherwise!) we would say, "Why does that matter?" Making her think about it made her realize that it didn't matter at all.

Good luck with this one! Its a toughie!!

Hi N.,
I would not call that racist at all....just perceptive and that is how 4 year old children should be....was the majority of the staff "black"? It was probably a different experience for her, maybe everyday, most of the people she sees does not have bronze skin. I wouldnt be too hard or reprimand her as that may confuse her....just explain that yes, some of the people had bronze skin but they were just like you and me, helpful and kind, etc. People worry so much about being politically correct and not enough time looking through the eyes of a child and getting down on their level. She is learning about the world around her beyond what she normally sees everyday, especially on vaca. Hope you had a fantastic vacation before you have to go back to work :( and enjoy every minute of those children...it goes fast.
Warmly,
C.