Quitting Smoking

Well, M., that all depends on what kinda guy your boyfriend is. Does he do better when you mention cigarettes or better when it's not talked about all? Does he like to be soothed and babied...or is he the "take it like a man" kinda guy. Does he have to be "weaned off cigarettes and he's still clingy" or is he "cold turkey and I'm cranky"? Offer him lots of gum, as gum helps the oral fixation and anxiety the way cigarettes do. My dad was a "cold turkey" kinda guy.....he stoped smoking because of my kids. One day he just smoked his last cigarette, enjoyed it to the end, and never again. He had been cigarette free for 11 years when he passed. My girlfriend on the otherhand was a basket case! She started with the patch, then the gum and I always had to have regular gum after the nicotine gum. She took patience and persistance, but we did it with all kinda flavored gum. Also be your boyfriends cheer leader... "you can do it babe"......."you're doing this for you and your health"........"you are going to feel great" .....stuff like that. Just make sure you have lots n lots of gum handy in every possible flavor because this is the key!! Good Luck!

Bring him a cold glass of water and ask him to drink it as it should stop the urge to lite up. Tell him how proud you are of him that he got this far without smoking and ask him to drink the water. Tell him it's important to both of you to stay on track....and that he shouldn't allow this urge to control is life...that you know him to be strong and if he can focus on that, he can get through this.
If he fails, don't be hard on him...don't nag....just ask him to try again.

SEX,

I know it sounds vulgar, but the distraction is very distracting, and increases blood flow ect..And telephone offers anticipation of whats to come LOL

Sex works,

and A locked bathroom, offers you the privacy you may need for a quickie.

( If you have little ones, put on a 30 minute show, and put them in a high chair, or playpen)

Hi M.,

My husband quit (cold turkey) on Labor Day, 2003...it was hard for him...I never said anything unless I could tell he was getting a little 'antsy'...then I would just say things like I couldn't imagine how proud of himself he must be...and how happy I was that he quit for our daughters sake, so he'd be around for her...truthfully, for as hard as it was for him, he was really committed to quitting...I hope your boyfriend can do it, it really is for the best...for all involved.

Give him rewards for not smoking...favorite foods, romance etc. Bribery works on spouses just as well as on children...Good luck, what he is doing is very admirable!

i personally am in the middle of quitting (i guess, being that it's been almost 2 days and we don't have the money for it)....i'm at my "snapping point!" and all i want to do is rip everyone's head off that gets in my way (that or have that wonderful cigarette!). the ONLY thing that keeps me from freaking out, or snapping is to be preoccupied by something else. i pop a mint (i prefer altoids, but i liked menthols) and i'll watch tv, get involved in whatever my daughter's doing...and if NONE of that works, i snap at someone, then storm into my room and "lock" myself away for 15 minutes. when in there i breath heavily and say to myself "hey, if i was still smoking i'd probably have passed out from this" then laugh/chuckle and go back to what i was doing before i had that "i want a cig. meltdown"...but i'm going through a lot at the moment, separated because neither me nor my husband can live with the other's family (and can't afford to get our own place) my mother just moved in with me and my brother (that i don't get along with EITHER of them EVER) and my grandmother just spent 2 months in the hospital only to come home almost a week ago with hospice, and is now going on her 3rd day past what they expected her to live...SOOOOOO i'm going through a ton of stuff and REALLY want that cig. not that any of that helps your husband, BUT it did help me to get that off my chest, and THAT being my point...just let him rant and/or rave and get whatever off his chest and maybe it will help him too! good luck, i wish him (and you) the best of luck, i know how hard it is (like i said, i'm going through it too...also because she's on oxygen and NO smoking in the house) oh well, hope all goes well for you both.

Hi M.,
You must praise him and try to reward him for being so strong and caring so much about you and your daughters health too. Do you have any idea how much money he spent on cigs each day? It would be great to add this amount to a dream fund! Show him the money! Or buy some wonderful treat that he loves..lobster...for dinner and tell him it is his reward.
Watch to be forgiving of mood slips. This is normal. Find other things to do at the times he usually smoked...ie after dinner....now you should take a walk together. FInd something happy to do together.
GOOD LUCK!
K.
He will have so much healthier life!

Hi M., Congrats to the boyfriend for not smoking. I quit a little over 2 years ago. First of all, ask him if he wants words of encourgement, I didn't. The less anyone said about smoking the better off I was. My husband was always telling me how good I was doing or how proud of me he was. I had to finally ask him to stop because it would remind me that I wanted a smoke. To me stopping was a personal thing and the less I heard about it, less I saw people doing it, and smelled the smell the better off I was. Hope this helps and ask him. J.

I have done some research on holistic solutions and found a product that significantly cuts down on addictive cravings. It worked really well on a friend of mine who was drinking a bit too much wine... Let me know if you are interested.

A.

Just be there for him. I quit smoking a year ago and it's hard. Most people who never smoked don't realize how hard it is. Just keep reminding him of how much better he will feel. After the first week if he is coughing that will subside. After the first month no more huffing and puffing. Remind him of the money that he will be saving. This is what I did.... I put the money that I was spending every week on cigs on the side for the first month. At the end of the month I bought something just for me. Think of it as a reward for yourself. Tell him to try not talking about it. If he doesn't think about it he should get through it. The first month is tough but once you passed that milestone it's all downhill from there. Tell him to get a hobbie that will occupy his hands. Don't go outside where everyone else is smoking. Get his friends together and tell them to try not smoking around him. Tell them to be supportive. If family members smoke, tell them to please not smoke at your home. Get rid of all ashtrays, empty cig packs, lighters etc. anything that will give him the urge to smoke. Clean out his car and spray frebreeze to get rid of the smell. These are all of the things that helped me. Also get some drink stirs, the plastic ones so that he can chew on them for a while. Try to avoid the things that made him want a cig. It's tough but if he sticks to these things he will beat it. My father smoked since he was nine years old and he is 58 now. He quit with me. We both have been smoke free for 13 months now and I feel great!!! I hope that this helps you. Good Luck!!!

if he is quitting cold turkey, good luck. it is very hard, because the cravings get bad. i quit using chantix. if he can get it from his doctor, it is the best way to quit. no cravings and no desire to smoke. although it does come with side effects, and everyone is different. the best support you can give him is to just praise the great progress he is making, and try not to talk about if you can unless he brings it up. sometimes it can be a trigger. stay strong

Hi M.,

The fact that your boyfriend has stopped smoking is huge and wonderful and yet I am sure very difficult. I know he is starting to stress you out, but if you were to put that aside, how does him quitting smoking make you feel about him as a person? What thoughts come to mind (strength, courage, etc.)? What if you were to share those thoughts with him? (example: Wow (boyfriends name), you are really (insert thoughts) for making this committment to quit smoking and I really admire that about you.) Then, follow that up with something like this: I would really like to help support you in your decission to quit smoking, but I am not sure what you need. What is the best way for me to support you or how would you like me to support you in this? (examples: encouraging words, accountability, etc.)

I hope this helps!

Blessings,
C.

Just be positive and tell him that you are very proud of him. It really help's or so my husband said when he quit 2 months ago.

My husband just quit smoking about a month ago and the one thing I kept telling him was how good he smelt. That seemed to really encourage him. I would always complain about the way he smelt and not let him sit next to me on the couch after he came in from having a cig so now I cuddle up with him and tell him how good he smells.

I have no real motivational words to suggest, but my husband tried breathing through a straw to mimic what emphasima feels like when he was quitting. He found it motivational when he was really jonesing for a cig, but he was still a huge grump for weeks and weeks. Hang in there!

I will say it's hard if he is around people smoking.And after meals.Other wise he is almost past the time of withdrawl.He needs to replace the need with some thing like sugar free hard candy(worked for me)gum and candy are not good for your teeth.but sugar free wont be so bad.Also keeping your mind busy.Alot of stuff triggers people to smoke.coffee,stress,even a movie if some one is smoking.It's very hard but going cold turkey is the best way there is NOTHING out there(patch or other)that works its all up to him to fight the feeling.Just be understanding of his mood its hard for the people around you when you quit also.There is no quick fix just time.Tell him it WILL get better.I have to see my mother carry an oxygen tank with her every where.And my aunt to loose both her breasts to stop.That was motivation for me.i'am 40 years old and smoked for 25 years.It can be done.Be strong and good luck.

If he chews gum, buy him enough to keep a pack in his pocket at all times. My husband quit smoking 2 years ago, and he always has gum. Tell him that his not smoking makes you want to be extra special close to him all the time! It might be helpful not to really mention that he hasn't smoked in X number of days. When he brings it up, as I'm sure he will when telling you everyday how long it's been since he quit, that's when you tell him how proud you are. Take walks, and try not to drink much alcohol because that's a trigger for smoking. I know, because I used to smoke too. It was the hardest to not pick up a cigarette with morning coffee, or a beer. Now I've also stopped drinking coffee, and beer as well.
Another thing, my husband always said that the morning coffee and cigarette got his stomach moving, and that he was afraid he would have bathroom problems after quiting. Keep some fiber around. I don't mean the powdered stuff, just good foods, and juice. Good luck! I hope he keeps it up!

Hi, I just went through my hubby quitting after 16 years of smoking. I told him how proud of him I was, and during dinner I would ask him how things tasted to let him see I knew he was able to taste things better. I had to be careful though. At any mention of a cigarette, he REALLY wanted one. It is still tough, but we are both hanging in there.

i agree with Jean, words of encouragement might make him think about smoking more. i used jelly beans to help me quit (11 years last march). staying away from smoke and people that smoke and situations that made me want to smoke (restaurants/bars etc) helped. it wasthe hardest thing i have ever had to do. i was really depressed-i had felt like i lost my best friend. it also churned up my digestive system for a while and i had really bad heartburn too. i also used the nicotine patch and that helped ease the withdrawal. good luck and let him know that the hankering for a cigarette does ease up-eventually! A.

My husband just recently quit after about 20 years of smoking. I have been telling him I'm impressed with how well he's doing when he's not wanting a cig. I wouldn't advise just saying something when he wants one. It's the same idea of "catching a child being good", instead of bad. My husband said he does best when no one brings up cigs at all, so it's off his mind. Good luck, I know it's stressful for everyone in the house.