30 answers

Quick Poll for SAHM- Do You Get up with Your Husbands in the Morning?

Just curious- Do you moms get up with your husbands when they are getting ready for work? I always get up say good morning, make coffee but then I go back to bed. Ive tried staying up but he encourages me to lay back down because there is no reason for me to get up yet. Sometimes I feel bad. Also, are you up and ready before the kids get up? This is my new goal but I cant seem to get it done yet. I feel so much better when i do. Thanks for the info!

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So What Happened?™

Thanks to all! I will continue sleeping in. Yes, we have a coffee pot with a timer, but getting up and making the coffee is my way of saying hello and being a part of his morning. Now that school is here- I know its all about to change.

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I stay in bed. He does come and give me a kiss and tells me goodbye, but I need my rest to put up with my little one. Also he does not get up with him at night, I do. So I look at it as my way of making up for sleep that he got and I didn't!!! :)

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No, I'm not a morning person! I stay in bed as long as I am able to. I get up and most of the time I'm ready before I my child is up. Some days are great, however some days my child wakes up before I do.

His alarm wakes me up, but I stay in bed. I don't get up til my baby starts fussing, usually about 30 minutes after my DH leaves for work. I need as much rest as I can get to chase my climbing 14 month old around:)

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i stay in bed! you have a long day ahead of you, why waste sleep? :)

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Um... no. He is up and out of the house before 6am. My son doesn't usually stir until after 7am and then he plays quietly until 7:30 or 8, when I'm ready to get up. My day definitely starts better when I'm ready to wake, not when someone or something awakens me (not a morning person). My 3yo knows that and as for my husband, he wouldn't even think of having me awake with him at that time. He'd probably think of it more of a nuisance to his morning routine than anything. You and your hubby do know that they make coffee makers with timers that brew the coffee for you, right??? We have a nice one we never use- wanna buy it? My hubby actually doesn't have his coffee until he gets to work, apparently (I just asked him). Why would you feel bad if you didn't get up with him? Maybe he'd enjoy the quiet alone time in the morning- ever consider that? Self-sufficiency is a great goal to develop in kids and husbands- helps their self-confidence and self-respect grow.

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Are you kidding me? I STAY IN BED - HAPPILY ASLEEP! At least that is until the pitter patter of my 4 year olds foot steps wake me up around 6:30 am. I don't get ready first and by no means do I get up to make my husband breakfast or coffee. I am up at least 2 hours after my husband every night getting things done. Once my oldest starts Kindergarten, I will have to get up before the kids, but until then you can find me peacefully, happily sleeping in my bed!

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No way! He's perfectly capable of making his own breakfast. Now, during the school year I have to be up for the kiddos, so he gets his breakfast made for him then. But, I'm the one that stays up with the kids at night & puts them to bed because he needs his sleep for work, so I guess it works out. I try to be up & ready before the kiddos, but it never happens-i hung that one up. I guess I kinda see summer vacation as my vacation time too! :)

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I stay in bed. He does come and give me a kiss and tells me goodbye, but I need my rest to put up with my little one. Also he does not get up with him at night, I do. So I look at it as my way of making up for sleep that he got and I didn't!!! :)

1 mom found this helpful

I stay in bed...of course, though, I get up half the time before my husband because he works from home, and my daughter wakes up before 8.

My husband travels a lot and is usually on a 6am flight to somewhere. He is up by 4 to prepare and he is usually gone 2-3 nights. I do get up when he gets out of the shower to chat a bit and get a cup of coffee for him.

I am not a morning person and it takes me a while to "wake up". I do go back to bed when he leaves by 4:30am or so and will nap a little while longer.

He works so hard for our family and I hate to lay in bed while he is getting ready for a long week.

Hello M.,

I guess it would depend at what time your husband gets up and with 4 kids in the house, that's probably the only time you get to talk with him without multiple interruptions. with school starting next week, maybe it's a good time you get up when he gets up. I like it when I can get showered and pick up a few things before the kids wake up. if your husband gets up at the crack of dawn, one of those coffee makers with a timer are a blessing from heaven! get yourself one and set it up at night for your hubby so it's ready when he goes to the kitchen and you get your beauty/sanity sleep. I hope this "it depends" answer helps. ~C.~

Good for you!! I think that is great that you make your marriage such a priority. I've been getting up before the kids lately and it is so nice to have that quiet alone time to get situated. My husband gets up around 4am so I don't get up, but if he's running late, we say hello in the morning, but again, he's running late so not that much fun to be around! ;). Anyway, just wanted to say I think you are being a great role model for your girls especially! It is the little things that they pick up on!! Also, I think it's strange that some women are seeing this in such a negative way. How is it at all bad to just be nice and think of your spouse (or anyone else for that matter)before you think of yourself? I have to say, I think that's the main reason there is such a high divorce rate....selfishness.

my two kids are early birds, so we get up together. before we had kids, i slept in after making his coffee/lunch, yes, i was a sahw for a period before being a sahm. believe it or not, i have a bachelor's degree and am capable of earning a great income as an accountant, but we BOTH hated it when we both worked LOL! sounds like you have a great husband, mine would prob encourage the same if our youngins would sleep later, well, we'd still have the four dogs to contend with, he usually walks them and i get the breakfast/meds ready. we're so used to working in tandem, that most tasks around here are two person tasks. i've been out of commission for about 7 weeks now due to HORRID morning sickness thought :( can't wait to be an equal partner again...

My husband is out of town a lot with his work these days so it isn't an issue, but over the years I have pretty much always spent time with him in the morning before he left for work. On days that I was dead tired, I would sometimes go back to bed, but for the most part, I was more awake by the time he left so I just enjoyed the quiet time to myself before the kids woke up. The main exception to me getting up with him was when I was pregnant and didn't sleep well or with the new baby (and up a lot).

I think it is what works best for you and your dh. I enjoyed the quiet time alone with him (since my kids weren't great about going to bed we didn't get that in the evenings). I just wanted to see him before he left for work. Even now when he's out of town, he'll call me on his way to work and we'll talk on the phone (except when he's in Europe or China).

M.

During the summer, I don't get up with him. He is a morning person. I am not. My 3 year old gets up with Daddy and they hang out in the morning. My husband wakes me before he leaves for work and I say good bye to him then. Then, my 6 year old gets up shortly after that. Now that school's about to start, I'll be up earlier. He still wakes before me and gets ready. I'll wake up my 6 year old, fix his breakfast and get him ready for school, and my huband takes him when he leaves at 7:30. On my 3 year old's school days, we then get ready together and leave at 8:40 for school, but on his non-school days, we get ready more leisurely. We get our alone time in the evenings after the kids go to bed to watch a movie or talk. Plus, I stay up about an hour after he goes to bed to finish some last minute chores and get everything ready for the next day (laying out clothes, packing lunches, etc.). I just work better at night than in the morning. On weekends, my husband always gets up before me and makes breakfast. I am very fortunate to have married a morning person! That was a definite bonus when we had newborns. I got everything before 3 AM, and he got everything afterwards!

His alarm wakes me up, but I stay in bed. I don't get up til my baby starts fussing, usually about 30 minutes after my DH leaves for work. I need as much rest as I can get to chase my climbing 14 month old around:)

I feel like I should be up and would like to do breakfast and everything, but I haven't gotten to that point yet. I usually wake up when my son comes in at the crack of dawn (right after hubby leaves for work). I hope that doesn't make me a bad mom/wife. My thing is I can't get up and go back to sleep. Once I'm up I'm up. :o)

I stay in bed usually. My hubby is not a morning person at all (Mr. Grumpy) so it's usually best I stay away while he wakes up. I've noticed we are more likely to "have words" early in the morning. He just has a very short fuse then. But otherwise he is a great man!

No! I don't get up with my husband in the mornings! You don't mention what time your husband leaves for work, or whether he is a morning person, or what time you are able to go to bed at night. These are all important factors! You have to figure out what works best for your family and do that...guilt-free!

My husband is often up at 4 or 5 AM to go to the office early so he can get some work done before his 8-10 hours of meetings start, or even earlier when he has to be at the airport for a 7 AM international flight! He is more of a morning person than I am, and is a model of efficiency once he is up (he has no desire to sit around and chat with me, and doesn't want his first cup of coffee until he's at the office!). We do kiss goodbye (I'm usually mostly-asleep) and if I can form words he gets an "I love you. Hope you have a great day!"

This is our arrangement because he knows that while he works VERY HARD (and certainly long hours!) to provide financially for our family, that I am providing everything else. He loves the children and cares about them, but I am the one who is physically there taking care of their needs. Mine aren't usually up in the night anymore (YEA!!), but after years of sleep-deprivation, I feel no guilt about grabbing whatever sleep I can. When I have forced myself to get up and stay up earlier than my body wanted, I found that although I can physically adapt to that schedule, my mind stopped working! I started forgetting things and was literally incapable of thinking. When I found myself falling asleep during afternoon carpool, I realized this was not a good solution for anyone and could have very deadly consequences!

With the school year upon us once again, I will pass along the name of a book that I never would have thought I'd buy: The 7 O'Clock Bedtime by Inda Schaenen. When my oldest started Kindergarten, it was a radical change for us (she is NOT a morning person!). Reading this book helped my get on-board with the early bedtime, and I found that when the children were in bed, lights out, tucked safely away for the night at 7, I was able to do a couple more things around the house, make sure everything was ready to go for the next morning so we could be on auto-pilot while we woke up, and be able to sit down and enjoy a leisurely dinner with my husband on occasion or watch a movie that isn't appropriate for children, and still get PLENTY of sleep before I needed to get up.

Hope you are able to find a solution that works well for all of you! Good luck! :)

Good question! I like to get up 15-30 min before the kids so I can have a shower and get dressed for the day. This doesn't always happen, but my days go better when I have a head start.

When my husband was leaving for work at 5:30 am and the kids didn't get up until 8 am, I would usually say good morning to him, then roll back over to sleep until 7:30. -- My husband's not a coffee drinker. He is very self-sufficient. And I am not a morning person without enough sleep.

Instead of feeling guilty about it, I do other little things to help make sure he's got everything he needs before work. I make sure the dry-cleaning is picked up and hanging in his closet. The laundry is caught up so he has clean underwear/socks in his dresser. I load the drinks he likes into the fridge so they are chilled. I write little love notes for his wallet or the bathroom mirror.

Another reason I don't feel guilty is because I get up with the kids 7 days a week and I handle all over-night issues. He sleeps in on weekends and sleeps through everything at night.

I'm very thankful my hubby is as easy-going as he is, but I could use a little help sometimes too, so I take the rest where I can get it.

So here's an opposite situation for you, to put things in perspective: this morning, I was up at 5:30am, and left the house at 6:30 to go to work. My DH is home today with our DD. It would never occur to me that he should get up with me. I can, of course, and do, make my own coffee and breakfast, and get myself dressed without assistance. He'll wake up when our DD gets him up, around 7:30, and have a plenty busy day from then on. On weekends when neither of us works, we take turns getting up with DD. We also split night duty 50/50. It doesn't occur to me that he should get up with me at 5:30, nor would it ever occur to him to feel guilty that he doesn't get up at 5:30 (although I do get periodic sympathy that I have to get up at 5:30 in order to make my 70-mile commute). We all have different "jobs" in our families, and work things out different ways. You should prioritize spending time with your family and getting the sleep you need to take care of yourself, however that works out best for you and your family. And don't feel guilty about doing what works best for you!

During the summer months, I stay in bed until the kids wake up. During the school year since I have a ten year old that needs to be awake at 6:30 to get ready, I usually try to beat her up by 15 minutes. My husband usually gets up around 6:00 so we're all up together during those months. But on holidays, we stay in the bed while he gets up. I don't feel guilty at all and he doesn't expect me to get up so it's no problem in our house :-)

No, I'm not a morning person! I stay in bed as long as I am able to. I get up and most of the time I'm ready before I my child is up. Some days are great, however some days my child wakes up before I do.

I am trying to do that but it is hard right now as I am used to sleeping in late. You see, dear hubbie snores so that keeps me up most of the night or will wake me up in the middle of the night. I am usually up at 7 am when the sweet little voice of my 5 yr old daughter whispers in my ear that she wants her juice. However, with school starting I want to get up with my husband at 5 am so I can have a few hours to myself and have that POT of coffee before getting two this year ready for school. My daughter is starting Kindergarten this year so it will be quite a change for her.

I see nothing wrong with NOT getting up with your husband. They understand or should that we do a lot of work while they are at their work. Not to mention we rarely get any time off from our jobs :0)

J.

i get up...i fix his lunch & breakfast & get it all ready to go for him...my dh is not a morning person & needs all the help he can get in the morning so that he's on time...plus my daughter is usually up by then anyway, she is an early riser...now with school getting ready to start, i will definately be up bc i with one vehicle we will be taking dad to work so that i can take the kids to school...

i work part time, but am at home most mornings. i only get up when i have to, usually to get kids ready for school. otherwise, forget it! he's a grown man!

Nope - my day starts when the kids wake me up.

I didn't pay any attention to my husband's schedule which may be why he doesn't live here anymore. Sorry, a bit of bad humor. He worked for the railroad and went to work at all hours of the day or night. I would try to get up with him but he always told me not to, so if his morning coincided with ours....I work at home in addition to the SAHM and what I have found over the years is that if I make myself get up and get the shower before the kids are up, even if I crash after I get them to school because I am often up late working, I just have a better day.

I have arthritis in my back so the water helps the joints and muscles and it is much easier to deal with the kids who are not morning people if I am not battling out of my own fog.

With boys 12 and 13, I would really work on this because they are going to be worse and worse to get up unless they are morning people because when they truly hit puberty they seem to need an endless amount of sleep. I may start doing the mirror under the nose of my middle one he can sleep for soooo long.

Steph, keep working on it and don't worry about when you get there unless it becomes a problem getting the kiddos off to school. I started going to our church when my daughter who is 16 was 2. I didn't make it there consistently until my 9-year-old was around 2, so it took me about 7 years to manage getting the kids up every Sunday no matter how tired I was or if I had work.

Try making yourself get up and pretty much ready for the day for a week after the kids have gotten back to school or maybe even next week if that is when they start. If you find that you are more productive, feel better, that should be incentive enough for you to do it every day. If you get more done allowing yourself a slower morning, then do that. Do what's comfortable for you. I'm sure if you spend some quality time doing the morning coffee thing (maybe sodas or a beer) with your husband in the evening, that is better for him than talking to someone who maybe isn't just perky as all get out in the morning. I suspect it makes him feel a bit of a protector to be up and about while everyone else is still pretty much in bed, so as long as you are getting the quality time, don't worry when it occurs.

I am usually up before my husband because he thinks he needs more sleep than I do.

My husband works 60-80 hours a week, so I do get up with him in the morning however if it is not a work day for him or the weekend he does not get up with me. I do not mind it but there are times that I am jealous. I used to stay in bed until the kids came in (on the weekends) but we have a puppy who insists on going potty and eating breakfast no later than 7 am. During the week I have to get up at 6 am b/c I have an in-home childcare business. The child that I keep is here by 6:30 am. So I rarely get to sleep past 6 am even in the summer. I do feel guilty when I do get to sleep late if my husband offers to get up. I know that he is usually tired and I do not have such a physically demanding job as he does. I am just on duty 24/7/365(lol). I am more a 1940's house wife than one of 2008. I take care of everything in the home and even the yard. So my opinion may not be a good judge of what most mom's do. I hope this helps.

I get up every morning at 4:30 (while the household is snoozing away) to be in the gym at 5:00. I return home by 6:30, let the new puppy out and feed him, make and eat my breakfast, make my husband's lunch and get him up, and am ready when my son wakes between 7:00 and 7:30. Based on previous responses to your post, I must be some freak of nature. Ha!

Keep making the effort to get up and get ready before the kids do since it makes YOU feel better. You'll love yourself for it and be an even better mom/wife than you already are!! :)

My husband doesn't have to be at work by a specific time. He usually tries to get there by 8. Some mornings he gets up earlier to work out or attend a morning networking function. My 12 month old daughter usually wakes up between 7 and 7:30. I get up when she does. If my hubby is still home, he'll hang out with us for a few minutes before he leaves. If he gets up early, I stay in bed. On the weekends, we take turns. He gets up with her one morning and lets me sleep in; I get up with her the next and he sleeps in. I would say I'm up with him about 4 days a week.

I am always the one up first. I always turn the alarm off before it even goes off, I'm just usually up at 6:30 every morning just because. I never used to be an early bird, but starting 2 yrs ago I started waking early, the early morning is MY me time. I get to be all alone for at least 30-45 min, before anyone in the house starts moving around, and it's glorious! I make my coffee, but I don't make breakfast until everyone starts moving around (as not to disturb my time, tee hee)
I won't let my DH go to work without a kiss and an "I love you", in 2006 my Dad let my Mom sleep in while he went to work early that morning, he was killed on the job, she never saw him again. I learned that day that I refuse to let that happen with us. Not seeing him at all the day he died, killed her a little inside.

Anywho, that's my 2 cents.

A. F

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