Questions About Divorce

Updated on March 06, 2008
K.Q. asks from Cartersville, GA
12 answers

I have a daughter trying to get a divorce and has filed the papers, but they are having trouble serving her husband the papers. He is being difficult and does not want the divorce. This is really dragging on to long and the lawyer isn't giving us anything to go on. Everyone involved will be better off if this is all over.
Is anyone going through this or has in the past? Any advise would be appreciated.

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S.W.

answers from Atlanta on

K. - you have two different options. 1. You can hire a private process server. You would need to speak with the clerk's office of the county where the husband resides. They should have a list of approved process servers for that county. This person should be able to get the job done. Usually, they act as deliverers of some product vs. the sheriff serving papers. 2. If that doesn't work, then you can request permission from the court to serve the defendant through publication. This basically means putting a notice in the local paper where the defendant resides.

Hope this helps!

1 mom found this helpful
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C.D.

answers from Myrtle Beach on

I don't know if the laws are different in Georgia, but in South Carolina, all you have to do is put a copy of her pleadings in the newspaper. If he still hasn't responded within a certain time frame (four weeks, I think) she would then have the right to have her case heard before the court. I hate to sound jaded, but I haven't met an attorney yet that didn't drag a divorce out as long as they could. The longer they're handling the case, the more time they have to rack up fees. (My divorce took ten months and cost $50,000!) Don't let that attorney jerk you around! I would be surprised if there isn't a similar law in your state. She can probably file an "affidavit of due dilligence" proving that in spite of her best efforts, the husband cannot or is unwilling to be located. Like I said, if her attorney is worth a darn, he/she should have already gotten busy on that. I've told more than one over-priced attorney that they would not be getting paid until I saw some progress. Also, you should be able to find for yourself what the divorce laws are by going to the state's government website. Just type in the web search engine: "georgia divorce laws" or "georgia divorce due dilligence." Good luck to you and your family!

1 mom found this helpful
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J.W.

answers from Atlanta on

I too had a similar situation. They had to serve him papers at work, finally getting him to sign them. I was told if he did not want to comply I could run an ad in the paper for 30 days and if it was uncontested the divorce would go through with or without his consent. I would ask your lawyer about that. I had to stay on top of my lawyer, sometimes calling everyday until I got on his nerves enough to get him to do his job.I hope this helps I know these can be sticky situations. Good luck.

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R.W.

answers from Macon on

Hi, yes I went thru something like that. In CA and VA, I am sure most states have similar laws.
My Lawyer told me if they can't get the other party served, you need to run an add in the newspaper where his last known address was, if he still doesn't not respond within a certain amount of days (where I was it was 30 days)to contest the divorce, it will still go thru. It just takes a little longer when one party doesn't want the divorce, it doesn't stop it from happening
Check with the Laws of your state.

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L.H.

answers from Atlanta on

K. ...having been thru this recently with our daughter we wish you Godspeed and certainly agree with all the wisdom previously given. I want to lovingly and humbly share something we learned the hard way as parents & grandparents. BE THERE for your daughter. LOVE her thru this but (here's the tough part for loving parents like us) let this be your DAUGHTER'S divorce. Have respectable boundaries for her sake and as well as yours. SHE must grieve and manage this process. You mentioned "we" when you talked about the lawyer. I MEAN NO MALICE, I NEVER WANT MY DAUGHTER TO HURT EITHER. Support her but she MUST do the majority of the work so she can come out "whole" on the other side of this. WITH your support she'll do a great job. Remember, she MUST be at the helm... God bless your entire family during this awful time of upheaval...

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P.W.

answers from Atlanta on

If there have been several attempts to serve over a period of time, then the attorney can file a motion for appointment of a special process server to find him and give him the papers. My best process server was a Mom who served papers from her diaper bag.

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C.H.

answers from Augusta on

I totally agree with PP. I too have heard of a law that allow the divorce to be finalized if they cannot get the other half to sign the papers.I also do not know if we have that law here but it sounds like your daughter needs to speak up to this lawyers and tell them what they should be doing and let them know you don't want them jerking you around.It's sad but sometimes you have to get rude b/c some people try and squeeze money out of you in sneaky ways.

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K.B.

answers from Savannah on

Is working it out not an option? I think its sweet that he doen'st want the divorce. I don't know the circumstances but at one point they were in love any hope of counseling?

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A.K.

answers from Spartanburg on

I agree with all the ladies posting before me, and I just wanted to wish you and your daughter luck with this. We don't know the circumstances and hopefully a resolution will help everyone. My divorce drug on forever due to the court system and my slack lawyer. If her lawyer isn't giving her the support and advice she desires-look into getting a new one. That was my biggest mistake-not getting a new lawyer. Things were finally resolved but it was long horrible process. BTW-this was with no kids or property to argue over. Good Luck!

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S.A.

answers from Spartanburg on

Hi K.,

I was divorced myself a few years ago and know the situations where you just need to get it over with to move on with life. (I am now happily married and just had our first.) My advice would be to tell your lawyer that this has gone on long enough and if he or she can't get this taken care of, you will move on to a lawyer that can. There are some lawyers that are great at pushing this type of thing through. I was divorced in Utah, so don't know any divorce attorneys around here.

Best of luck to you and your daughter! I respect her for getting out of a bad situation and wish her happiness in her new life!

S.

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A.A.

answers from Atlanta on

K.,
Hi. Your daughter is blessed to have your help. Going through a divorce is such a stressful time. My best advice is what was given to my brother, do it by publication. You guys have obviously done a diligent search to find this person, and since he wants to be evasive you must advertise this legal action for 30 days in the legal newspaper. Your lawyer should have suggested this already. It saves you a lot of undue stress and aggravation. (The Fulton Daily Report on Pryor Street in Atlanta is the one closest to us). Please encourage her to do this, or at the least advertise it in the local newspaper for 30 days. It will finally be done with, and at the next 30 days status conference with the judge you can have something to show that will encourage the judge to get it closed. Be blessed mom, we wear our hearts outside our bodies once we have children and it is too often just a h*** o* us as it is on the adult child. Let me know when the decree comes down, so I can celebrate with the 3 of you.

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J.N.

answers from Charleston on

This site gives the basics, if her attorney is not offering advice find a different one NOW. If all else fails as long as they don't live together for 1 year a divorce can be granted w/out agreement. http://www.divorcesource.com/info/divorcelaws/southcaroli...

Good luck.

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