Questions About CIO

We did CIO and it is great, but I agree that he is too little to not feed him...at least until he starts eating solids, and at that time he will start to sleep longer anyway. I would put him straight down though after he is done eating to let him know that it is still bedtime! Good luck!

I am going to get on my soap box here...why do mothers today think that small babies should be sleeping through the night?? Most babies don't sleep through the night until a year old (I get this information from Dr. Sears - www.askdrsears.com) Babies are biologically designed to wake easily and often. The human race would not have survived as a species if babies were deep sleepers. If a baby could not wake itself to alert its mother that it was hungry, cold, couldn't breathe, or there was a predator then our species would not have survived!

Some babies do sleep through the night at an early age..SOME babies, but this is not the norm. MOST babies don't. That is, of course, except for the babies that do sleep all night because they have been forced to by their mothers. These babies have no choice because they are ignored when they cry at night. Who said mothering is only a day job? Since when do mothers get to "punch out" at 8 pm and be "off duty" until morning?? If your baby cried at 2 in the afternoon you would go to him and see what he needed, right?? So why not do the same at 2 in the morning? Babies don't awake in the night to be annoying or bother you. They awake because they need something. It is called "night time parenting". Being a mother is a 24/7 job. So what if he justs wants comfort? Then go comfort him! Did you really expect to get lots of rest in the first year? Don't women realize this before they have babies? A baby means being up a lot at night! If someone is not prepared to be up at night with a baby then why did they have one??

Read Dr. Sear's website. It expalins a lot about why babies awake so often in the night. About once every 60 to 90 minutes they cycle back into a light sleep. This allows them to be able to recognize hunger or discomfort and awaken to alert mother.

I am sure many mothers on this site are going to read this and blast me -- but I don't care. I say when a baby cries at night get off your butt and go to your baby! That is a mother's job!!

hi M., i personally do not believe in leaving a baby to cry but especially not that young. you should wait until your baby is at LEAST 6 months old and even then i don't recommend it. that aside, babies that young are still hungry throughout the night. especially if he is breastfeed because it digests more easily. my daighter nursed (out of hunger) for the first year. every babe is different and i'm sure yours is still hungry. also, do you go to him right away at night before he fully wakes? that could help. good luck!

Welcome to Motherhood! It is completely normal and expected that your baby wakes up throughout the night. My son (11 months) woke up 3-4 times throughout the night to nurse until two weeks ago. Now he wakes up 1-2 times, but I don't always nurse him. If he just fusses, I wait a few minutes and he will sometimes fall right back to sleep. If he starts to really cry - I go in to comfort him, or nurse, depending on what he needs (based on his cry). Be prepared... my son slept 8-9 hrs through the night from 3-5 months. After that, teething kicks in, growth spurts (so they want to nurse/eat more), etc. And enjoy those moments of waking up with him (in the dark)... when they have been few in the past two weeks, part of me is relieved so I can get some sleep, and part of me misses that very quiet, sweet, connecting time with my son when no one else is around/toys to compete with, etc. Just a sweet and cuddly little boy.
Good luck!

At this age, yes, you need to feed him! What to Expect in the First Year says the CIO method should not be used until 6 months. I don't recommend it at all, as it can interfere with your baby's attachment to you and his sense of security and healthy emotional development. However, if he only cries for a few minutes and isn't screaming, it's probably fine. It is a myth that babies this age will be able to sleep through the night. Some do, but it usually isn't consistent, and may not be until as late as age 2. This is just part of motherhood, having to get up and feed your baby at night. Put the crib in your room or get a "side car" attachment if you are afraid of your toddler waking. Or put a fan or other white noise maker in the toddler's room. Congratulations on nursing--it's the best thing for your baby! It is very easy to just bring your baby into your bed when he wakes up and nurse him back to sleep. You both may sleep better this way. Read Attachment Parenting and other books by Dr. William Sears for great parenting advice. Be well, R.

M.. If a 4 month old is crying, they are needing something. You should wait for the crying out until he's older. If you ignore him, you are showing him that he cannot trust you. You need to respond to him when he cries. If you don't want to get up and down at night and go to another room, I suggest getting a bassinet to put beside your bed. Or even having him sleep with you until you quit nursing him. Breast milk does not stay in the body long and infants stay hungry and eat every 2-4 hours. So your baby waking up, he is probably hungry. If you nurse him, and change him, make sure he is warm, lay him beside you. Maybe he just needs you.

He's only 4 1/2 months old, he's probably needing to nurse in the nights still. Breastmilk is easily digested, therefore breastfed babies need to eat more frequently than bottlefed babies. When he cries at night: keep the room dark, make it a no play only eating time and let him fall back asleep while he's nursing or shortly thereafter. If he acts ready to play, put him in bed and let him cry a few minutes. He'll soon figure out that night time is for sleeping and day time is for playing.

At 4 1/2 mo he is probably needing to nurse every few hours. Has he slept all night regularly yet? He may be growing and needing more. Feed and burp him, change his diaper, put him back in his bed. If he cries check his diaper maybe burp him again and put him back to bed. Let him cry it out for up to 15 min. I realize you don't want to wake your toddler, but more than likely he's used to the crying and will sleep through it.

If he's seeming too hungry, perhaps start giving him some cereal. I pumped extra to have my milk to mix w/ cereal at first. My first baby nursed well and drank a lot, but he was a huge chow hound. He loved to eat and was a large (tall/long) not fat healthy baby. Your son may be too hungry for just nursing in the evening.

Good luck! I was blessed that my husband would get our sons when they were crying at night and change their diapers then give them to me to feed them (since he wasn't equipped) and then when they finished, he'd burp them and put them back to bed. I was very blessed

Good luck!

My third one has needed to eat in the night until just recently. She was still waking to nurse until she was around 8 months old. Unlike my first two who were sleeping through the night all on thier own at 3 weeks. I have always put my babies to bed in thier own rooms, but when they wake to nurse, I lay them in bed next to me and nurse them till they nod off. Usually only takes about 15 minutes. Once they're out, then I put them back into their own bed. I usually don't fall asleep while they're laying wiht me, mainly because I sleep on my back so laying on my side is just not comfy for sleeping.

I know it is still a form of co-sleeping, and that is not for everyone, but it has never failed me. It also helps to not wake the older sisters while baby is fussy.

Your son is still young... I don't think I'd make him cry it out in the middle of the night if he is waking up hungry.

I think that you did fine with letting the baby cry, now that you did it, there is no problem laying him down. It only gets better! Him waking thru the night is probably because he is hungry, feed him, burp him, change him and I am sure if he is used to going to sleep on his own, he will do so again. Good job! B.

I apologize to M. about saying that she was wrong in calling the child a "baby" I glanced up at her "a little about me" to verify how old the child was, and just assumed she was talking about the 2 year old. I have to agree with this one, I would not let him cry it out throughout the night yet. I think it was fine with the laying down at bedtime because he's young and it's a great time to start developing good sleeping habits, but during the night is a little different. My kids didn't stop needing bedtime feedings until I want to say closer to 8 or 9 months. I broke my daughter of getting up at night when she was 15 months old. I should've done it sooner though. At 4 months old, they're still needing to eat probably every 4-6 hours. Once you start giving cereal at about 6 months, you will notice he may start to sleep in longer intervals at night. Until then though, it's just part of being a mother to a baby.

I think your son probably still needs to be fed in the middle of the night. Unfortunately, I had to do this with my daughter until she was about 9 months old. I am also assuming that your child isn't eating a ton of solid food yet. Once he is eating a substantial amount of solids, he shouldn't need to be fed in the middle of the night. You mentioned it takes you 20 - 40 minutes to get him back to sleep. Is he nursing this entire time? If so, I would think he needs the food. I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old so I know how troubling it is when one is awake in the middle of the night and you are trying to keep the other one asleep and get some sleep yourself. Have a good day. On a side note, I wasn't able to try the CIO method with either of my children until they were older babies...maybe around 7 months. I think it is a great and effective tool, but I was just too much of a softy.

I would say that you should nurse him and put him back to bed.
However, I went through this with 6 children and I must say that when mine awoke I brought them into my bed , nursed them, and they spent the rest of the night there.
I did always make sure that they went to bed first in their own beds, so you are on the right track there.
It is up to you how much sleep you want you and the other members of your family to get.
That is what worked for me.

i would say that until he is eating solids, he probably still needs that night feeding. If he is still doing it once you are into a good routine of eating solids, then I would try offering water in a sippy cup (when he is older than 6 months). I did it for 2 nights in a row with my son when he was 8 months old and he didn't wake up again for night feedings! Just give it some time, he needs to adjust his body to eating more during the day and his stomach might be big enough to go so long with out any food.

if crying it out helped him go to sleep on his own, then let him cry it out at night. it will only take a few nights. if he is 4 1/2 months he should be able to sleep through the night without needing to eat for at least 8 hours. but to be sure figure out how long he goes during the day between meals. that will be how long he can go at night. if he is eating every few hours during the day try getting him to eat more at each meal to get the time between meals greater. hope this helps!

Breastmilk is so easily digested that it doesn't last in their stomachs long. He's waking up because he's hungry and it's best to keep feeding him when he wakes. He will sleep longer periods when he's ready. My first son slept through the night at 6 months, my second was up every 2 hours for 9 months and still gets up once or twice a night.

Sounds like how we did with our children. It started out as the 15 min rule - which seemed to be how long it took to CIO. Within a week we were down to the 3 min rule. And during the middle of the night I would let them CIO for 3 mins before I would go check on them. It worked for us - and wish you the best. thanks. Also, our children were a bit older than 4 1/2 mos when we started in the middle of the night.