Questions About C-sections

My son is 19 months old and I delivered him via emergency c-section. My advice? DO NOT have a c-section if you don't have to! It took me 3-4 weeks to "recover" from the major surgery. I also still do not have feeling in my abdomen, where my scar is, and my doctor says I may never get feeling back in that area again. There are many, many, many risks to having a c-section, and most of the time these risks are far greater than the risks involved with having a vaginal birth. A great resource is ICAN (International Cesarean Awareness Network:

http://www.ican-online.org/

They have tons of great information that is fully researched! They also hold local meetings all over the country to help inform women on the risks of c-sections. It is worth checking out.

I am sure the tear you had hurt and was painful to recover from, but know that a c-section, in my opinion, is far worse. I also suffered from mild ppd after my c-section because I had so wanted to deliver vaginally and naturally. You may experience the same thing, especially since you have already experienced a vaginal birth with your daughter.

Obviously, we, as women, have the right to make our own decisions about our bodies and the way we birth. But, I really suggest that you do a lot of research before you schedule a c-section. Best of luck in your decision-making!

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Hi J.,

I never gave birth vaginally, but had 2 C-sections. I hated them!

1. Your milk does not come in very well after a C-section, takes longer to come in, and your baby is sooo fussy and hungry.

2. You have had major surgery, and never feel like you can relax and lie around recovering, because you have a new baby and other kids to take care of, and the nurses make you get up and start walking ASAP.

3. You lose a lot of blood and feel anemic and crappy for months.

4. You can't even hardly walk by the time they let you out of the hospital, and you have to take narcotics for the pain.

5. There is a risk of your scar tissue growing and messing up your insides.

6. After one C-section, it is harder to find a dr that wants to do a vaginal birth after C-section.

7. You can't lift anything, drive a car, or do ANY housework for weeks afterwards, even months.

8. Your bowels don't move for like a week after.

9. Your baby is drinking amniotic fluid, and when they have a C, they don't get the fluid squeezed out of their lungs, so they can sometimes have breathing problems when born.

Don't do it unless it is a MEDICAL NECESSITY!!!!!

Hugs,

M.
ps. I had a lot of moms tell me that they were no big deal before I had mine, but I HATED, HATED, HATED, HATED them!

9.

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I had to have an emergency c-section with my first and a planned c-section with the twins. I prefer the planned over the emergency any day. With the emergency, if I didn't have an epidural already I would have had to been knocked out completely. They tied my hands down and put up a big screen infront of my face. With the planned there was still a screen but not as big and my hands didn't get tied down. When you are having a c-section you feel a lot of tugging and pulling, but no pain. Sometimes you can get sick to your stomach, that is the reason for the oxygen. When I had the twins I had to ask for more oxygen because I thought I was going to pass out.

Also with a c-section you have about 6 weeks of recovery. You cannot walk very easy, you are in a ton of pain and you cannot take a bath for a couple weeks. If your husband is a huge helper c-sections are fine, but if he doesn't help out much then you will be struggling for awhile. Also, they cut your nerves and muscles and so at least for me I have droopy skin which I will have to get a tummy tuck for.

I am not trying to scare you or anything, I would have a c-section anytime over natural birth. My first experience of trying natural birth hurt so bad, and I wasn't even able to deliver. Hope this helps, but doesn't scare you to much, just wanted to give you the honest truth.

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There's definitely a time and place for c-sections, but the risks don't justify it in your case. It's worth your time researching techniques and positions that are effective for pushing. I have a copy of a study (well, the first page) that compares women who had both stirrups and episiotomy and those with neither. 28% of those with both had bad tears (3rd/4th), and only 1% of those with neither had bad tears. Especially with larger babies, the back/stirrup position for pushing is very ineffective. It's not the big babies themselves that cause the tears; it's the ineffective pushing techniques. If you are controlling your pushing (no one telling you how long to push, etc), your tissues will be able to stretch out gradually and reduce the chances of tearing.

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J., You know, I'm just wondering if you've considered the possibility that your team was off on the dates??? It happens OFTEN.

I wonder, was your last period with our first baby light?? There are several scenarios where you're body was bleeding though you were, in fact, pregnant; for example, a complication during implantation of which you were unaware of.

The other thing is that women, if NOT on their back when birthing, can give birth to quite large babies. The pressure on the back--all your wait--works against your baby. The very hormone--relaxine--meant to allow your joints to open and expand to allow your baby room is being use to CLOSE up the path. When you are on your back the birth outlet is closed up to 40%. Think about that. Block of your doorway 40% in any manner you wish, length wise, width wise, a little here and a little there, then try moving through without touching the material you used to block of the doorway...the same doorway you move through easily every day.

My point is this: if you're not choosing to be drugged, and you have full use of your body and space, birth in a position most suited to your anatomy and the position of your baby--generally that which most comfortable to you at the time and follow YOUR cues for pushing...ease your baby out instead of forcing him out. I suggest Chiropractic care, and, of course, find a DOULA!!

One thing about Csections today; once you choose to have one, you've pretty much chosent this route for the rest of your birthing experiences. Doctors are increasingly denying VBACs because of cost efficiency and liability insurance for those women who don't fully participate in their health care but get angry with the outcomes. Be very aware of the risks, as there are many to you and baby, and know that a because it's one of the most common surgeries in America that the OB is generally very good at it.

Happy Baby Moon whichever way you go...the most important thing is that you participate in the choices and you feel safe.

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I have had both a c-section and a vaginal birth no medication. I also tore with my vaginal birth, little stinker came out with his hand by his head, and although that wasn't fun it was a piece of cake to recover from compared to the c-section. It makes such a huge difference to be able to get up, on your own, go to the bathroom, really function like a normal person. After my c-section it took a whole day to be able to stand up and more than week before I could get up from the couch without help.
The other big thing for me is that not only is a c-section more dangerous to you as a mother (and I know any mother alive would sacrifice herself for the sake of the baby), but c-sections also carry risks to the baby. They are more likely to have breathing difficulties at birth, and they have a lifelong increased risk for asthma and allergies. C-section babies are not placed in their mothers arms at birth, they are taken to a warmer and because of the breathing problems are more likely to need to visit the NICU, leading to a long separation. For me, having that baby in my arms immediately is incredibly important and that just isn't possible with a c-section.
Also, not all doctors are equally skilled at helping a mother to give birth without tearing. Episiotomy is a big no-no, if the doc cut you last time, then I'd switch docs. Read "The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth" for more information on how to keep your perineum intact. Hire a doula. Keep in mind that weight estimates aren't always right, no one can know how big your baby is until it is born. Also remember that having done this once before means it will be easier this time! And most of all remember that your body is made for this purpose, and it won't grow a baby that you can't handle.
I hope this helps. Feel free to contact me if you want to talk about it more.

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You know I think everyone has a different experience with child birth whether natural or a c-section. My sister has 10 and 9 pound babies and would never want a c-section. I know some women who can't walk easily on their own for weeks after a natural childbirth and some say its the greatest thing ever. My first and only child was delivered via c-section. She was breech. I had most people telling my horror stories about c-sections. My c-section went off without a hitch! I was up an moving within 8-10 hours. Everything I was nervous was going to be horrible was not. I was a little more foggy (with drugs) the first 12 or so hours but other than that it was great. The lifting restriction is the same as if you gave birth naturally. I got stay in the hospital and extra day because of the c-section technically, but I just needed an extra day of help with the lactation nurse. Up and down off the couch was fine and even up and down stair was fine. Maybe I heal quickly but everything was better than I imagined it would be. Ultimately you have to decide what you think is best for you and your baby! Best of luck! C.

I haven't had a c-section, but I tore badly with my first delivery and then barely at all with the next 3...the first one really is the hardest. I don't think you should worry unless your doctor gives you a strong medical opinion that you should opt for c-section.

With both of my children I had c-sections. With my son it was not planned but because he was not progressing and some other medical concerns we went into an emergency c-section. I was very scared about that because I had heard all of the scare stories too. And even more reading some of your responses. With my daughter I opted to have a c-section even though the doctor said I could go vaginally because at the time I was a single mom trying to juggle a million things. But both went very well, they did not have to be put in the NICU or anything. Today they are very healthy and normal kids. Anyway, the recovery time is a little bit longer and having a mobile child after my second one it was tough...because you can't lift over 10-15 lbs, your mobility is limited, etc but if you have plenty of loving friends and family around to help you you will be fine. And as far as the c-section...talk to you doctor!! Ask him how many he has done, is he comfortable doing them, what are the risks involved(especially since he knows your body) and the best thing to do is trust your feelings. If you feel uncomfortable about it -don't do it. But if you are afraid of the tearing then know what will be ahead of you with each option. good luck!

Hi, J.. I understand your fears. I had to deliver my twin boys via C-section becuase of our scary TTTS pregnancy. It is a lot easier than natural delivery (from what I hear) during the delivery process itself. However, you will be out of commission for a while, and it will be difficult for you to get up and tend to your other child and/or tend to your crying baby alone. You'll be on meds, since this is considered major surgery, and need someone to guide you for a couple of days. I know we have so much societal pressure to deliver vaginally, but if you feel your body would be better off in the long run with a c-section, than you should do it. I know this probably won't ease your fears, but I just wanted to give you an honest answer.

J.,

From my experience with a C-section in 2007 it is no walk in the park. True, there is no huffing and puffing, pushing and sweating. However, it is major abdominal surgery. In no way is it less work, it's just different. The body is designed to give birth through the vagina, not through the abdomen. I delievered in a Babyfriendly hospital (the only one is CO at the time) and I was able to nurse in the recovery room within the first hour. The hospital experience was good, but the recovery is much worse than a vaginal birth.
Fist, you have the incision. Underpants hurt. Pants hurt. If a night shirt rubs it the wrong way, it hurts.Standing for a long time hurts. Sitting for a long time hurts. Laughing, sneezing, coughing hurts.
Second, there is the limitations. No lifting more than 10 lbs. No driving. No cleaning. No bending.
Third, there is the after affects. Scarring. Loss of sensation or increased sensation of the scar. Random pain, itching, tingling of the scar. Yuck, the scar.
Plus, you are on narcotic pain killers for the fist precious weeks of your baby's life which clouds the whole experience which is why I did not take anything.

My point is, try to do it vaginally. C-sections should be a very last resort. Have faith it your feminine power.

i had a c section with my son. It seriously was much much easier than i thought i was up walking and moving within a few hours feeling great no pain pills a day and a half earlier. never having had a vaginal delivery i had nothing to compare it too but don't worry if you have to have a c section it really is easy!!!! good luck

Ask your doctor lots of questions and ask the hospital even more questions to find out their policies with a c-section. I had 3 c-sections and there was a huge difference in how they went according to the hospital policy in place. I chose an epidural for the last one and that it what I would reccomend. I was allowed to have both my husband and my best friend in the operating room with me. Having my best friend hold my hand during the actual surgery and talk to me made all the difference in the world! She gave me a play by play as only another mom could do-telling me the stuff I wanted to hear : ) like he's beautiful, he looks great etc. She talked to me and distracted me, there's no pain, just weird tugging and noises, but I did not even notice that time because she was talking to me. I was up and walking around much faster than the moms who had tearing or episiotomies. The rule was not to pick up anything heavier than my baby, and I was allowed to drive by his first doctor's appointment. I was home 24 hours after delivering but if your insurance lets you stay longer, I would do it just for the extra rest. You will be able to care for your baby but it is really nice if you have somebody who will drop by some meals and do the laundry a couple of times during those first two weeks. Really, having a c-section does not have to be a bad experience if you plan for it : )

I delivered my first baby naturally... 5 min of labor & catch. My next pregnancy was with twins and ended up a C-section. If I had the choice, I would not do it again. I hated that I couldn't hold my babies when they were born. My experience also created problems with nipple confusion because while I was sleeping off the medications they gave me, they fed my babies for me. It took a couple months for them to finally figure out that Mom's nipples don't work the same as their bottle. My scar is healing well, but I still have sharp pains in that area. I don't have any 'extra' weight, but now there is a weird 'fold' in my stomach that I have to deal with. The babies are both fine, and although I'm disappointed I had to go C-section with my last, I try to focus on how well they are doing and not my disappointment with how they arrived.

I didn't have a c-section, but gained over 50 lbs (yikes!) with both pregnancies and had a 5 12 lb. baby and a 6 3 lb. baby. Maybe talk to your dr. about weight in relationship to baby size. Maybe you just have big babies. My friends that have had c-sections say it's not too bad, but recovery for them was more difficult with the 2nd b/c they had a toddler to chase around. Good luck!

J., I am a registered nurse and work in women's health. I had a c/section with my first (breech) and also work with women on the delivery recovery floor so I am around c/sections all the time. What are you concerns? Just a few things to be aware of... During the section, you will be able to feel pressure (tugging and pulling and pretty much everything) but NO pain. It is kind of a scary sensation, but I wasn't ready for it and it freaked me out. There is a sheet-like wall that will prevent you from seeing everything, but there are mirrors if you want to see baby come out. Your significan other can be with you and even hold your hand during the section.
Recovery: you will itch and may throw up for the first 24 hours, but let your nurses know and they can give meds through IVs to prevent or lessen the side effects. Expect to have a catheter for at least 12 hours and don't be in a rush to have it out. Expect to have an IV for the first 24 hours. Use ice packs on your incision; they decrease inflammation. Don't be afraid to use pain meds, too! :) The sooner you can get up at the bedside (4-6 hours after the secion) the quicker your recovery. Usually the 2nd day (if the c/section is day zero) is when you will be most sore. You will have a dressing over the incision (usually done with staples) the first night and the next day take off the dressing after you shower (it's easier to do when wet). Staples come out the day you leave and are replaced by steri-strips (tape, essentially). It doesn't hurt but it feels like eye-brow plucking. If you are worried, ice your incision prior to having your nurse take them out. Your incision will "shrink" (not be as wide) over time (months) and the incision is done fairly low these days so no worries there.
It takes about a month to feel fully recovered. Sorry if this is too much information!! Let me know if you have more questions:)

My daughter was breech so I had a scheduled c-section at 38 weeks. I couldn't ay enough good things about it. Granted, someone who has a hard labor and then an emergency c-section probably feels differently, but I recovery went very smoothly. I was up walking around that night. I was sore for a few weeks. It was hard not to lift anything more than a laundry basket or not drive for 6 weeks, but if you have help, than I say go for it. My c-section was 3 yrs ago and I have no lasting side effects/problems.

Hello there! I understand your fears about having a c-section. Personally, the only thing I cared about was having a healthy baby at the end of it all- so even if they had to pull it through my nose, if it meant having a healthy baby, I didn't care!
That said, I have only had one child (a 6-month old boy), so I can't compare having a c-section to a regular vaginal birth, but I absolutely loved having a c-section. I had a scheduled c-section (my little one was breech) so it was slightly strange because my body never went through labor and therefore mentally, you don't go through any preparation. It was almost like we woke up one morning and said, "well, I guess we'll have a baby today!". The whole thing was very stress-free and wonderful. I woke up, washed my hair, put on some mascara, and we casually got to the hospital and had a great time laughing at the HAZMAT-like suit they wanted my DH to wear. I laughed so hard I thought I might pop out the baby right there.
Then, your medical team comes in the room, asks some questions, my parents came in and hung out with us, they wheeled me off, put in the spinal (probably the worst part of the entire thing- which still isn't bad!), and 25 minutes later, we had a baby!
Some of my friends who have had c-sections said you can feel a slight-tugging feeling during the surgery but I felt NOTHING. In fact, I was maybe a bit too numb- I couldn't move my legs for a couple hours after surgery. But I also have friends who have had an epidural during a vaginal delivery and the same thing happened to them.
My recovery was great. I was never in any pain. The advice I was given was to stay ahead of the game by taking the pain medication exactly on time. I'm usually opposed to pain medication, but I did follow this advice and I never had one ounce of pain. I was back to going out for walks with the stroller five days after my surgery (three of which were spent in the hospital - standard practice for c-sections). My doctor let me climb stairs and drive my car (as long as I wasn't taking any pain medication). In fact, I only had to take the pain meds in the hospital and by the time I was home, took some Motrin for another day or two and that was it! And my scar 6 months after delivery is already only about 3-4 inches long and is way under wear even the skimpiest bikini would cover.
Either way, whatever you choose, it's something you have to feel comfortable with. And I'd also check with your insurance company to see if they'd cover a c-section due to the size of the baby and what those stipulations are.
Congratulations and enjoy that new little one when he's here!

Hi J.,

First, congratulations! I know you have already had a ton of responses, but I thought I would throw mine in. I have 3 children, my first was delieverd vaginally and he was 10 lbs (I am 5' 1") so it was beyond tough, so I know how you feel. I tore badly, had hemmoroids for weeks from pushing so hard and was very sore. With my second son we were worried because he didn't seem as big, but he was longer so my doctors, who were awesome ended up inducing at 36 week and he was 7 lbs 15 oz, he came out very fast and I am glad we didn't wait, I can't imagine how big he would have been. He had no issues, except a little jaundice. With my 3rd, I had hypertension and ended up getting the HELP syndrome so we had an emergency c-section and she was 12 weeks preemie. I was able to hold her for a few minutes and then periodically because she was in the NICU. I was a little sore, of course because I was cut open, but it wasn't terrible. I was up and moving and taking care of my children and I would use a pillow or a baby bop on my lap to help when I held her. I found the more I moved around the better for me because I wouldn't get all stiff. I do not think your situation is necessarily "choosing' a c-section because you have a valid reason why you may need one. I do think if you really want to do a vaginal delivery, maybe go a little early again, because it does sound like you are going to have a big baby. Good luck and if you want to talk further feel free to e-mail me.

J.,

One thing you can do is perineal massage and stretching ahead of time to help stretch the vaginal opening. It helps if hubby lends a hand. You can get natural oils specifically for helping with this, and then have DH put two fingers in and stretch first one way and then another to stretch your vagina in preparation for birth. If you do this several times a week, it can really help. Also, usually you don't tear nearly as much with second babies as with first babies--even if they are bigger.

Another option you might consider is hiring a doula to be there with you for the birth. Statistically, having a doula shortens labor by 50% and greatly reduces the need for other interventions.

I haven't had a C-section, but I wanted to throw a couple of other ideas out there for you to think about. Good luck with whatever you decide.

Hi. I can't tell you what to decide, but I can tell you about my experience. I ended up having to have a c-section with my son (baby #1). I was almost full term and the doctor decided he was getting too big and we needed to induce. After 36 hours of minor labor and nothing happening we decided it was too much stress on both me and my son. It turned out that he was not only completely wrapped up in the umbilical cord, but his head was far too large for me to have delivered anyways. I have often wished that I could have had him the "old fashioned" way and been able to experience that, but at the same time there are alot of pluses on my side. My mom went through two deliveries with large babies (me at 8lbs 9 oz, my sister at 9lbs 8oz) and ended up with a prolapsed uterous and major tearing. She has been through numerous reconstructive surgeries over the years (including a total hysterectomy) to repair the damage that was done to not only her 'female parts', but to her bladder as well. I now believe that if I had tried to have my son naturally I may have ended up in the same boat. That being said....keep in mind that the costs of a c-section could be considerably higher, you will have a longer hospital stay, you'll be on pain meds for at least a week and I did have some problems with bleeding after I was home. You are also not able to nurse/cuddle with your little one right away....there is at least a half hour waiting period. Also....if you are thinking about having a 3rd child....keep in mind that if you have a c-section with this one the chances are you will have to have one with the next one. I am now pregnant with my second child and will have to have a c-section since the doctors find that v after c is just too risky. I'm sure there are doctors out there that will try it, but I'm not willing to take the risk. It's hard for me to tell you whether or not I would have changed anything, because I have never delivered a baby vaginally. My experience was not bad and I think the next one is going to be better since I won't be going through 36 hours of labor first. All I can say is....talk to your doctor and try to make the most informed decision you can. Good Luck! and Congratulations!!

If you want data and not just anecdotes, I highly recommend reading "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth" by Ina May Gaskin and "The Thinking Woman's Guide to a Better Birth" by Henci Goer. Both are in paperback and are immensely informative and confidence-building and not at all dull.
You can prevent tearing with the help of a good midwife or doula. If you are worried about this birth, consider hiring a doula--they are amazingly helpful!
Ultrasound weight estimates are often inaccurate, so I hope all your anxiety is not based on that. Do you need a pep talk about your body's capabilities? You can do a lot more than you might imagine! Especially for a second birh, "the road has been paved," as my midwife would say. My second birth was much easier than my first, and my second baby was a full pound heavier than my first a 8 pounds, 4 ounces. Then, my third baby was also a great birth and he was still another pound heaver at 9 pounds, 5 ounces. I'm not superwoman, but I worked with excellent midwives who helped me through ever moment of labor and helped provide counterpressure and perineal support so I avoided tears. My recoveries were so quick and satisfying I can't imagine opting out of any of that experience.
Babies born vaginally typically have better lung function initially and also later in life--the contractions help prepare the baby for breathing outside the womb. There are many other advantages for both mother and baby to having a normal birth as opposed to a surgical birth.
An elective cesarean is radically different from an emergency cesarean. You may be interested in reading the information available from the International Cesarean Awareness Network. I think their Web site is www.ican-online.org.
Congratulations and best wishes!

Hi J.,
I understand your fears. I was induced with my son (1 week overdue) and tore really badly (4th degree almost all the way through to my bum). They thought he was big too so my doc didn't want to let me wait for a natural birth. But last May I gave birth to my daughter -- same scenario only she decided to come on her own a week early. She weighed a bit more than her brother but with her I only had to have 1 stitch -- ONE. It's easier to deliver the 2nd baby.
And, it seems like your first was rather long/tall -- which means that even if they weigh more that doesn't mean her head was super big. It doesn't matter how much they weigh -- just how big their heads are. :)
Now, I am not against C-sections -- my sister had one and it saved her life. But it is good to remember that C-sections are major surgery. When you listen to your your doctor's advice, keep in mind that OB/GYN's are SURGEONs (OB/GYN is a surgery specialty) and your doctor gets paid more when you have a C section instead of a vaginal delivery. Plus, it means your doctor can schedule your delivery instead of doing things on the baby's schedule -- which might mean in the middle of the night.
I hope you are able to get some advice from women who have delivered both ways so that you'll get a viewpoint that has experienced both. Good luck to you!

Hey. I know what you are going through. My first one I had natural and my second one was an emergency C-section which totally freaked me out! Than I was told I can never have a kid natural again and I was honestly tore up about it. I was so upset that I wouldn't get to go into labor and be in labor that I was crushed... Than I came to terms with it, I just had my second C-section Jan 2008, it was a normal one where my husband was right there, my water broke and we still had the excitement of rushing to the hospital. Honestly... It was fine, it wont ever compare to the alternative of natural labor but I have come to terms with it and actually enjoyed my last labor. I was out of the delivery faster and had my baby faster than with traditional labor. I wont lie, healing takes a toll on your body, especially if you have other kids, but you also have a wonderful excuse to sit with your baby and not have to be up and around. Maybe its just because I don't have a choice, but I am fine with it. The delivery seemed less hectic as well. Good luck!!

It sounds like you will, but if your doctor thinks it's fine, I'd say deliver naturally. If your doctor has other concerns, wrong position, etc., then consider a c-section. It's very hard to recover from both, but I'd go for natural unless there's serious concerns. We had a big one in a wrong position and it was a very tough recovery with having done both labor and surgery. I have a friend who consistently has 13 pound + babies with no problem, and with the exception of 1 (of 8) all were delivered at home. Congratulations!

I have to have c-sections my pelvis dosen't open so the baby can come down. We learned this after 22 hours of hard painful Labor with our 1st child. I was so tired after harving the baby I really couldn't enjoy everything. With my second I scheduled by C-section. It was so nice to get up shower and go to the hospital. I went in got the epideral and was very relaxed. After my son was born I wasn't excusted or super sore. I made them take the Catherder out as soon as posible so that I could go to the bathroom on my own. Yes I was sore but I was relaxed and enjoying my new baby. The best part I didn't have to wait for nature to take its course and I was able to make arrangements to have my oldest daughter taken care of.

I recovered quickly and didn't need many pain pills. Personally I think the ripping would be a lot worst and more painful than a c-section (The scare is small)

Wow. How familiar your situation sounds. At least I was asking myself the same questions the 2nd time around. I tore horribly with my first 3rd-4th degree they said. Long labor, hours of pushing. My 2nd I attempted to go natural - no meds, but ended up with an emergency C-Section after just a few hours of labor. If the cord hadn't been around his neck so tight, he would have popped out in less than 4 hours, with minimal pushing.

The C/S was pretty miserable, but I have heard I had a harder time than most. I had 2 post-partum infections - one inside and one outside my Uterus, and it took months to be able to exercise like I like (I'm pretty athletic). However, it took 6 mos to no longer feel the pain of my tear after my first during exercise, and another 6 before sex with DH was pain free completely.

So, Hind sight? what would I have done with the 2nd? Elective C/S, only because I knew the cord was around his neck. He was breech most of my pregnancy, and flipped back and forth and over some 8 times. It was innevitable. However, if he had been head down like a 'normal' little babe during pregnancy, I would absolutely have done a la natural! So, perhaps see how your pregnancy goes before making the decision just yet.

J....I personally would avoid a Csection if possible. Here are "my" reasons...#1. have 5 kids, only 1 was a c-section & that was way more difficult to recover from...way more painful & took longer to heal. #2. Scar... & what all those incisions do to your body! Way different from a regular labor/delivery. #3. Ultrasounds are not 'spot on'. My Drs. Were surprised about size 3 times!... 2 times babies were much smaller than the results indicated, 1 time WAY bigger... Pictures said a nice size 8'2"....3 days later... Try 9'6"!!! He was the easiest & quickest too! Now even though it's been a few years & technology gets better , my sister & a friend had the same thing happen recently. I would talk to my DR about using compresses & stretching & an epesiotomy the last second & avoid a c-section if I could.... Hope that's some insight for you.

J.,
I know that other moms would totally object to this, but I've read somewhere,(From a reliable source, although I can't remember where) that the size of the baby doesn't matter as much as we all think it does. I didn't believe it when I read it either. I believe it now though, My biggest baby was over a pound bigger with a bigger head than my others and couldn't tell one bit during delivery. I also didn't tear at all with him. I was shocked when they told me his weight. I think it has more to do with the baby's positioning and how relaxed you are than the size of the baby. Unless you have a really big baby.
I had my last baby 19 months ago, so maybe there is better technology now but, doctors aren't always right on the baby's size. It's an educated guess and in my experience they are rarely right.
Have you talked to your doctor about a c-section yet? Doctors are all so different. I know some doctors won't give you a c-section just because you think it's best, and some will wait until you go into labor before performing a c-section. I have never had a c-section, but from what I've heard they are in no way easier than a vaginal birth.
Also, you are just over half way through your pregnancy, a lot can change from now until then. Other than talking to your doctor about your concern, I wouldn't plan on or even consider a c-section at this point. If your baby is healthy now just relax and don't worry about it. When you get closer to delivery, and your doctor still thinks he is big, then you should consider your options.
Good Luck!

I have had two c-sections in the past 2 1/2 years, the most recent was 9 months ago. With my first, it was b/c I was at 5cm after 18 hours with no more progress. The recovery was okay, keeping in mind that it was major abdominal surgery. At 7 days after surgery I was off my meds completely and seemed way better. I was actually surprised at how well I felt. So, with my second baby we scheduled a repeat c-section and let me tell you it was a fabulous experience. Even with a 19 month old running around I wouldn't have done it any other way. We walked in the OR and 20 minutes later I saw my baby being born. The same recovery...a week after the birth I was off the meds and feeling great. I couldn't pick up my 19 month old for 2 weeks, but since I had help it was do-able. Of course this is a decision for you and your doctor, but I say go for it. The only advice I would have is that you keep a journal/log of your meds and keep on top of them for the first week. I was told by a friend of mine who is also an OB that if you let the pain get bad (lapse on the meds) it can be hard to get back on top of the pain again. So, take the meds (for both recoveries I was prescribed percoset and motrin) around the clock at the designated times (it can get confusing, so the log is helpful). I nursed both babies and they were fine with the meds. A week later I was a new lady. Not completely healed, of course, but a huge difference! I started running again after the babies were 6 or 7 weeks old, so that can give you an idea of how well I felt then. Good luck and don't be too scared, just get informed. :)

With my first I had preeclampsia so I had to be induced into labor at 37 weeks. I delivered my daughter in 2001 vaginally. It was not bad other then I tore too. I had an episiotomy and that to me was so painful those first few weeks. She was only 5.5 when she was born so she was tiny. That tearing was so painful to me. Just peeing was dreaded.

When I had my son in 04', the OB knew by the rate of growth he was going to be very large. He actually scheduled me for induction at 37 weeks as at that point my son was close to 9lbs and the same thing as you, he knew I could have complications with his size.
He was sideways in the birth canal and wouldn't drop so they had to do a csection. At that moment I was so worried about him that I was ready! He was 8 lbs 7 oz at 37 weeks, had I gone fullterm he would have been close to 10lbs! There was NO way I could have delivered him at that size.

To be honest, the pain wasn't bad with the csection, they had me walk around slowly soon afterwards, when major meds had worn off as that helps you not tightening up. That I think helped me big time.

Then they hooked up this thing to my hip where it went into the incision and read the pain sensors so before the pain came it fed pain meds into it...cool trick! When I left the hospital by day three, I followed the instructions, limited lifting, no stairs or driving for a while and ONLY if I moved wrong or abruptly in a way then it was really painful. It was a sharp stabbing pain that wasn't ongoing. Just you knew when you moved wrong. I only took pain meds two days after I got home, after that it was so much easier. I am a big pain baby too, so I really just didn't think it was awful like I had heard.

I have to say the episiotomy was really painful, tender and seemed forever to heal. The csection, within 2 weeks I felt great no pain, nothing. I still had to be careful but it really wasn't horrible. The way they did the incision too, it is barely noticable.

Don't let fear get in your way. If you tore the first time, then there is a very likelyhood you will tear again if the second is bigger, have them at least cut (episiotomy) instead of letting you tear, it is more even and not as bad.

It is very commendable you want to do it naturally and just make sure your OB really knows your wishes and to only consider not doing anything else as the last resort. I am all about epidurals personally!!!! You are one brave woman not having one! Good luck, congrats and just keep your Dr informed of what you really want in your birthing plan.

I am going to give you all of my honest thoughts. I had 3 babies vaginally, all with an epidural. I had a small episiotomy(sp?) with my first. The other two I had no problems delivering, they just popped out. Granted they were small babies. I hated the hours leading up to delivery, but after delivery I healed very quickly and felt great. My last pregnancy I had twins and delivered them by c-section because they were breech. The nice thing was I didn't have the hours of labor, but I hated getting shaved and having to fast. I was starving before I even had the babies. I almost called it off just so I could eat. Then after I had them, I didn't get to hold them. They showed them to me, but they didn't get to lay on me and I didn't get to feed them. After wards I was so naseated that I couldn't even see my babies (they were in the NICU). After 12 hours I was able to fineally get out of bed and go see them, but after being up for a minute I was sick again, so they wheeled me past them in my wheel chair and took me back to my room. I didn't even hold them until the next morning. Recovery was very hard. As my friend says, every day gets better, and that is very true. But for me I was used to a quick recovery so that was hard. Now with your situation, you tear very badly and have a long recovery anyways. My sister tore and had a catheter for at least a week or two. And had many issues with her bowel mvts. A way bad experience as well. She couldn't take care of her son for the first week because she was in so much pain. Her husband did it all. He would just bring the baby to her to feed. So I think you need to decide where you would rather be in pain. Some people have a great experience with a c-section. My scar did bother me for about 1 year, but I know that isn't totally normal either. It is a hard decision, I really don't know what I would choose. Do they think you might be stretched out from your first that the delivery won't be as bad? I just wanted to share my experience. Good Luck! I know whatever choice you make you will work through. It is worth it for that cute baby!

I have had two c-sections and I will tell you the same thing I tell everyone else. If you are choosing a c-section over vaginal birth you are CRAZY! I think most people are under the assumption that with a c-section it is easier but boy are they so wrong. It is very nerve racking lying on the table as they tug and pull at you until the baby is out. Then the recovery is awful. I will admit that my second c-section recovery was better than the first but still....it's hard. Not only are you in lots of pain and in the hospital for longer then a vaginal birth but when you get home you are trying to take care of a new baby and recover from major surgery. Plus with my first c-section the doc. sewed me up wrong and my incision reopened! that was awful. with the second c-section it was hard because my 2 year old still wanted me to pick her up and play with her but you can't lift more than 10lbs for 2 weeks. So I felt helpless and had to have people with me all the time to help with my 2 year old. So I don't want to scare you and if the doc. says you have to have a c-section then you will be able to get through it but if you have the option do a vaginal birth.

I had a c-section and it was no more painful than a regular birth. It hurt to laugh for about a week, but I don't see any reason to be scared. I guess it can be different for everyone, but don't be worried because it is more common than we know I think. There is a lot of liability in a normal birth and doctors in some of states will not do any other kind of delivery.

If I could deliver my next child vaginally I would in a HEARTBEAT! I absolutely hated the recovery from my c-section. I didn't feel even close to normal until 6 months after the fact. I still have sharp pains daily. Mine was an emergency with other complications as well so it is probably worse case scenario! But as a side note, my cousin had 4th degree tears with her first child who weighed 8 lbs 14 oz and only needed one stitch with her second child that weighed 7 lbs 11 oz. So every baby is different and both of hers measured large all throughout the pregnancy.. She was induced one week early with her second child, so maybe that is an option? Good Luck!

I had to have a C-section after 15 hours of labor and my baby was stuck. It was such a whirl of activity and I was just so thankful to have my baby born strong and healthy, that it really wasn't a big deal for me at all. The recovery was not as bad as I thought it would be (after all the stories about the negatives of C-section). I was up and walking (albeit slowly!) within 24 hours of my son's birth. I think the only thing that was a bit of a nuisance was not being able to pick up anything heavy (can't remember what the weight limit is), but you get used to that. I made a point of going outside for a short walk every day (sometimes only a few minutes). My scar is small and very low and barely noticeable. All that said, my first choice would still be to have a natural birth, as a C-section is still a major surgery and will therefore always incur risks. Good luck!

I personally have had 3 c-sections and had no complications. I was a little nervous each time, because i was awake while it was happening, but i recovered quickly, and everything was fine. I tried to have my first daughter normally, and it was horrible compared to the c-sections i've had. I decided then that c-section was the best route, personally. Good luck, and your doctors will know what is best. ;)

Hi J.,

Congratulations. I had my second c-section in December. I did not have an option of delivery because my body does not labor and they were worried my second one was in distress. However, keep in mind that everyone has a DIFFERENT story. Some good some bad. Mine are relatively good. It is a truly routine procedure these days. The part I hated the most was the actual injection. Just relax and realize it is short lived. The nice thing is you have a planned day and once the procedure starts you have a little baby in about 7 - 10 mins. The hard part is you don’t get to hold her/him until you are in recovery. I had a good friend video tape my husband giving the first bath and such, that is one of my favorite videos now. It is common to itch really badly afterwards for a couple days. Don’t be super woman like me and refuse meds. I finally broke down and got the anti itch medicine they offered. Take the pain meds they offer. I refused those at first too with my first child because I was breast feeding. It does prolong healing. I decided to take them with my second and was very glad I did. (Of course due to other reasons I could not breast feed.) Take the weight restrictions on lifting things seriously. I over did it the second go around because I healed so quickly with the first I thought I could do anything. Ha, let your hubby help a few days. I have talked to many moms with natural and c-section combinations in their lives. Most say the c-section was easier and less to recover from. However, my sil has very big babies too and has to have c-section. She tried V-back in December but after 20+ hours of labor they had to take her little girl. She was relieved. Her first c-section was miserable because she was 1 week overdue and her boy was over 10 lbs. They bruised her pretty bad getting him out. The second one, a girl they induced 2 - 3 weeks early. Her eventual c-section went much better because baby was only 8lbs. She also is 12 years younger than me so she bounced back much quicker. LOL!

Well, I have prattled on long enough. I need some coffee. A c-section is really no big deal. If you plan on more kids, keep in mind you will probably have to have them from now on. But, seriously, once that little bundle is in your arms, it does not matter how they got here. You will be fine!!!

In my opinion even with tearing my daughters natural delivery was much easier recovery then the recovery from my c-section. I still almost a year later have twinges of pain from the c-section and it took 8 weeks before I could even lift my baby in the car seat-so it was very limiting especially since I had an older child at home. Given the choice for me I would never choose another c-section-it is quicker delivery, but in the long run the pain of childbirth goes away quicker and you are on your feet sooner able to do all the things you could do before.

I had my first two vaginally and my last who is a year old now I had c-section. The doctor told me I had to becuase of how big he was but looking back I think I should have argued and not gone along with it. With both girls I was up and about the same day. After the c-section I was down, there was a huge recovery difference between the two. In comparison there was no recovery time having them vaginally. With my girls I had occasional pain or discomfort but nothing that kept me from doing anything. After my c-section getting up was painful. I hate taking pain drugs and did not have to after either of my girls but with the c-section there was no getting around it. Do what is best for you but know that the recovery time is drasticly different. Good Luck.

Congrats in being pregnant!!! I had an emeregency C-section due to HELLP syndrome, my baby was only 3 lbs. However having 4 sisters and 9 nieces, all born naturally, I can tell you the only thing they were amazed at was the recovery time. It is significantly more difficult, more painful and takes a lot longer to become mobile.

I was very dependant on others to drive me places, move up and down stairs, etc. Granted I did not have a choice, but we are currently pregnant and i am trying my best to be able to have the baby natuarlly so that I can enjoy her while on maternity leave and not worry about my own recovery!

Best of luck!

I am on the other side of this discussion as I had to have a C-section for my first and despite the "convenience" aspect and my fast recovery, I am doing everything possible to have a VBAC, but here are my thoughts/experiences.

My C-section went very well, all things considered. I was in labor for 19-20 days with 2 inductions and no progression and my son was estimated to be big (he was 8 lbs 9 oz) and had no fluid left so I chose to have the C-section rather than a 3rd induction that would have probaby been a C-section anyway and my dr. was off in just a few more hours and didn't like the next dr. on. I had a spinal (the one they gave me is called an astromorph, where the morphine is injected in the spinal rather than needing the pump afterwards) and hated being that numb. I was able to breastfeed rightaway and bond once I was sown up, but I think you can do that with both types of birth pretty well, though it is documented that c-section babies can have a harder time breastfeeding though I didn't experience this at all. Granted, I thank God for the astromorph because I wasn't tied to my IV the next day pumping morphine and was up and showering early the next morning as soon as I could feel my legs again (my c-section was in early evening). I was up and about rather fast but every person has different pain tolerance for that (and I didn't have much choice on laying in bed as my son had such bad jaundice and was running a fever that he had to be in the nursery and I refused to miss out on my son's first couple days of life because I was stuck in bed) but it was definately slow moving and painful. I felt like an old lady because I had to walk bent over. At home, it was hard to get off the couch and lots of the first week of care was my hubby's responsibility because I couldn't move very fast or well until about 6 weeks or more (I also got the flu from the hospital on top of it...great fun throwing up with stiches in your belly!) I also felt I bled for longer than a vaginal birth and if I did too much one day, the next day I was bleeding bad and back on the couch unable to move much. This went on for a few months following the birth. I am hoping for a much different outcome this time around (and will probably have an even bigger baby this time). Aside from my own discomfort, I also have a son who has lots of respiratory problems and gets lots of chest colds and I was told from several doctors and my doula that that was probably because he didn't get squeezed in the birth canal (they say he gets them less worse than they could be because I breastfed, but still...), so that is another thing to consider. The C-section may be convenient to you, but it may also affect the health of your child in the future. Anyway, here's my two-cents worth! Hope something helps! Good luck.

S., mom of 15-month-old and #2 due in late Aug.

I had a C-Section one year ago and it wasn't bad at all. I healed pretty quickly and haven't really had any problems with the scar. My sister tore really bad with her first baby like you and chose to do a C-Section the second time around (she also has very large babies). Although it took her a little while to recover (her body mends itself slowly), she said it was still much easier than recovering from the horrible tearing.

As for C-Section babies having more health problems, I don't believe one bit of that. My kids were 8 weeks premature and were the healthiest kids in the NICU (much healthier than all of those vaginal birth babies - mine were only in there because they had to learn to eat since they were born before their sucking reflex had kicked in) and have been incredibly healthy their first year of life. My sister's kids have all been born by C-Section, as well as one of my best friends. All of our kids have always been healthier than most kids around them. Same goes for the C-Section babies don't breastfeed as well thing... I don't believe a word of it. I think it's the "purists" trying to make women afraid of having a C-Section. If it's what is best for your body, you should do it. You won't be much good for your baby if you're having a hard time healing from your delivery. If you tear as bad as you said you do, you probably healed very slowly and it's not a fun place to heal. Maybe you'll recover faster from a C-Section - it's certainly more comfortable.

P.S.
I had an epidural, not a spinal block. I've heard the spinal block can be harder, but I really don't know. I felt like I was very much so part of the delivery and my husband was by my side watching everything.

J.- I have had two c-sections. I understand your fears, but it is not as bad as it sounds.
1. They monitor you
2. They send in the anestesiologist
3. They wheel you into the OR
4. 7 minutes later you have a beautiful baby
5. They stitch you up and send you into recovery
6. The first night you'll be a little dopey, but not bad mostly tired.
7. They will send you home in three days if all goes well

You'll be a little sore when you get home, but I did cook that night. The worse part is when your nerves start to grow back (1-2 weeks later)You'll experience sharp sudden quick pains...

If you would like to email me and ask private questions- feel free. Good Luck! H.

I had an emergency c-section. I was so tired at first. I had to remain in the hospital for 3 days. But once I got out of the hospital. I was able to walk and go abought my daily routines. I cooked and cleaned, and felt just fine doing it. However, it was harder ot bend over. So when I cleaned I had to squat, but my body was use to this, because Towards the end of my pregnancy I couldn't bend over either. Know I am pregnat again, and I to must make the decision to have a C-section or try and deliver naturl. I still do not know what I am going to do. I think the receovery was not so bad, but the thing I am considering is they say you can only have 4 childeren if you have a c-section. Right now, I only want 4 kids, but I am worried in the future things might change. So this is something you should really take into consideration.

I have had 1 c-section and 5 vaginal deliveries and if you have the choice I wouldn't go for the section. The recovery and down time are to be considered, especially since this will by #2, for a first baby there isn't anyone else needing your attention and you can sleep when baby does and such. With my first vaginal delievery I did have the tearing, but not with the baby's head, with his shoulders. The next child I didn't tear at all and had no need of an episiotomy. I would tell you that a c-section would always be my last resort to a delivery,as I much preferred recovery time of a vaginal over the c-section. Talk it out with your doc and then make your decision, but for me there isn't a choice, unless the baby's health is in danger.

Usually your second baby is a bit easier than your first and you don't tear as much...Good luck with your decision!

I had a C section 2 years ago with my son after pushing for over 4 hours. I had a bou just under 10lbs and it had. My husband did get to hold the baby first, but as soon as the stitches were in I was able to hold him and have recovery time with him all by myself, was a special moment for just me and my son. I had no trouble recovering I left the hospital in less than 48hrs. If you want to go natural try, but keep your mind open in case you need to go with a C section. The worst part of my C section was that I cried so hard when they told me I would have to have one, but it all went smooth and I have a beautiful healthy baby boy. I am due in may and I'm going through the same decisions you are right now. I'm meeting with an obstetrician to see what my chances of delivering naturally are.

My first was natural at 9 lbs 1 oz. I tore bad too. My 2nd was breech and had to be a C-Section. It was quick 30 minutes with no labor. I would choose the C-Section over the natural birth any day. I really didn't have that much trouble. I felt like it was easier to heal. Yes you can't pick things over 10 pounds up for a while and it's hard to get up and down. I also along with another lady had short sharp pains every once in a while for about a year after the C-section, but they weren't unbareable.

I have not previously had a c-section (but fear having one as well, am 26 weeks now). I hasd a natural birth & 8 pound baby and tore a bit with my first, and though it was difficult, it was so rewarding and would say that I too enjoyed the experience. though I have done it before, I find the prospect of doing it again kind of intimidating... because well, in a way, now i know what I might be in for.

so in the spirit of being pro-active and positive, this time I am trying the perineal massage... which is very unpleasant but is supposed to help a lot. Also, I hired a doula and am taking a hypno-babies class... the idea is more relaxed, gentle birth. no hard pushing, which should, reduce the time in labor and give your body more time to adjust and stretch

anyway, I can't imagine trying to heal from a c-section while chasin after my 2 year old... but I do have a friend who just did that and said it wasn't so bad (though her older son only weighs 24 pounds). she wasn't supposed to pick him up, but well... you can imagine how that goes.

good luck with whatever you decide to do... you need to do what feels right for you and your family, I hope you find a good solution.

I would take the weight and length estimates with a grain of salt. My sister in law was told that she needed to be induced a week early because her baby was already at least 8 pounds based on how big she was measureing. So they induced her and when they broke her water the doctor discovered that she had a very large bag of waters and that is what had been making her belly measure so big. The baby was only 6 lbs 5 oz! I think that ultrasounds can give better estimates, but even they are not fool-proof, the only way to really know how big your baby will be is to find out when he is born.

As far as C-sections I can not give you any advice because I have never had one, I do know that they are medically more risky than vaginal births, but they are still considered pretty safe. I know some women who have had C-sections who were very happy with the experience, and others who have said that the recovery was hell, I guess it just depends on the person.

Hi J. - First of all a c-section is not less work. I've had a vaginal and 2 c-sections. Your body goes through a lot with it. But I always felt like I was in good hands and recovered veyr quickly. You will be fine. The spinal block was fine, no pain, I only felt pressure and tugging but no pain during the delivery process. You will be fine - good luck with everything and don't worry so much. As long as your baby is healthy it really doesn't matter how they are delivered. Best,

Hi J.,

I had a c-setion with my second daughter- who was born in September. As strange as this sounds, I think it was easier than my natural delivery I had with my daughter. Yes, I was sore, but I got up and started going for walks pretty early so the recovery was not bad. I was definitely very emotional at first- it was not planned and I really wanted to deliver naturally so I was initially disappointed and very emotional, but once I left the hospital it wsa deifnitely the better way for me to go and I would do it again. The one thing that was hard was that my older daughter (she was 3 1/2 at the time) was very scared to see me hooked up to the IV and at the thought of mommy having surgery.

The nice thing was that I was able to nurse my daughter immediately (well at least once I was out of surgery)

Hope this helps.

I'm happy to tell you more if you want.
A. (mom to 2 adorable little girls almost 4 and almost 6 months)

I have had two C-sections. One in December of 2005 and the second in November of 2008. Let me start off by saying the first was unplanned and I would never wish it upon anyone. I too have big babies, my first was 9lbs 5 oz so that is why I had to have a C-section. My second was 8 lbs 14 oz and was a week and a half early. My first C-section was horrible and painful. I could barely move for weeks afterward because of the pain, I have a lot of scar tissue, and it is still numb around most of it. With my second I had a different Dr and it was absolutely perfect.They had to make a second incision with the second C-section because of the scar tissue from the first and after three months you can barely see it, it has no scar tissue and most of the feeling is already back. If I had another baby and the C-section went as well as my second I would do it in a heart beat. Every woman is different and every Dr is different. Do your research and make sure your Dr is very qualified to perform the surgery. Get referrals if you have to. I have also spoken to a lot of women who have had C-sections and they didn't mind them at all. So it goes to show you that most likely mine was a bad experience because for one it was an emergency so I didn't have time to prepare myself and two the Dr who did it was not qualified or just did a horrible job. Good luck on whatever you decide!

I had a C-section with first one ('06) because he was frank breech and there was no other option. I had the second baby 14 months later also c-section. I was given a choice, but to be quite honest, the first one went so well and was such a beautiful experience that I decided to go ahead with the second c-section. (I also figured I already had a scar so what the heck!) It also allowed us to make definite plans which, with having a little one already at home, was very helpful. That aspect alone is a big plus in my opinion. C-sections are a very routine procedure these days and doctors and nurses are skilled and efficient in making it a low stress situation. I was like you and all ready and excited to do a natural birth, but was also willing to realize that whichever way your baby comes out it is still out, still in your arms, there was no applause or booing, and life goes forward rapidly. Make your decision based on what is good for you and your baby and for your family, not by anyone elses opinion. Best wishs to you and your family.

Hi J.,
one way to look at the choices is to determine which process will need the most healing afterwards. Having delivered once vaginally often creates more space for the second and third and so on. You can prepare the perineum with massage using organic Castor Oil. Start now and the tissue will soften nicely for the birth.
Have you considered an epidural?
Having a C-section is a major abdominal surgery. Your healing time may be lengthened compared to a vaginal birth. Begin reading any birth books by Ina May Gaskin. The stories are empowering and beautiful.
I specialize in Mayan Abdominal and Uterine Massage, and you may want to utilize this massage to prepare for the birth and post-partum care. Listen to your body and you will surely make the right coice.
L. Golub, Clinical Herbalist
Holistic Pathways
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I know you have gotten a lot of response already...I just wanted to share. All my babies have been over 9 pounds and I have had them naturally (two at home).Like you I kinda enjoy the whole process, pain and all. I have read several studies that showed that doctors using ultrasound to predict weight in babies can be off by 2 pounds...either way...not very reliable. You can probably count on a larger baby bc your 1st was over 8 at 4 weeks early, but I have read personal stories from a number of women delivering 10-13lb baby naturally. A few things can really help with this.
Start doing some yoga/stretching/squatting on a reagular basis. Try squatting while folding your laundry. Also do perineal massage. Bradley Method books i know give specifics on perineal massage to really make the skin soft and pliable.
Stand up during labor and walk around. You can also deliver standing up (hey gravity helps-I did this with my last) or leaning over the bed, on hands or knees or a supported squat.
Good Luck... You can do it! ps. I only gained 25lbs this last time and my baby was 9lbs6oz....big weight gain doesn't neccarily mean big baby, some women's bodies just gain more.