Question from a Vegetarian Mama

There is a book, Eat to Live by Joel Fuhrman that is interesting and talks about animal protein and plant protein.

I have been vegetarian all my life. My husband eats meat and my kids eat white meat.

Most of the time we have vegetarian meals and we are all fine.

It is perfectly fine to raise kids without feeding them meat.

Also, if you get a chance see the documentary Food Inc.

I would not force a vegetarian diet on a kid, especially if one parent is an omnivore. I would let him try meat and see if he likes it.

By the same token, I would not force a kid who didn't like meat to eat it.

Offer lots of different healthful foods and see what he likes.

Wow. That's a lot of "feel likes." You don't "feel like it"? What about thought? What about research? Have you researched how the lack of meat will affect a child? There are some essential nutrients that can only be gotten through food sources - supplements are ineffective. And while that may be fine for a grown adult, a developing child needs those nutrients to grow properly. B complex vitamins come to mind for neural development. And how is the child supposed to decide when he or she is never offered it? My children may very well decide never to eat peas because they hate them when they grow up. But that doesn't mean I'm not going to give it to them now and expect them to eat them now. Yes, adults can make up their minds, but children need guidance. Your "don't feel like it" makes you sound very uneducated and irresponsible in your choice for your child. I think you need to do research.

ETA: Let me emphasize - I don't think you can't go vegetarian with children. It is not my choice, but it can be done and done well. But because you are choosing to eliminate an entire food group (which I have done for myself by going Paleo and in a way for my daughter on doctor's instructions to go gluten free due to allergies), this should NEVER be done just because you don't "feel" like it. Whenever you cut an entire food group, especially for a developing brain and body, it has to be done with accurate and current information, responsibly and thoughtfully. That was my point.

I've been a vegetarian for 30 years. I feed my kids meat. When they hit 9 months, I start making them lamb meatballs and chicken stew. I find it easier to do this to make sure they are getting enough fat and iron. I suppose if I had the time and inclination, they could just be vegetarians (truth be told, my current toddler isn't too fond of meat. she eats a lot of cheese).

Honestly, I don't worry about their diets. i have a friend with a 6 year old that has only eaten cheese, yogurt and cheerios his whole life. He drinks milk too. He's fine, He's healthy. I think we fuss too much about diet. I really do. it's not like our ancestors had the choice to eat healthy. They ate what they could eat, and did so for centuries. I can assure you most did not have kale.

In any case, I try to introduce my kids to everything, and then, as they get older, they tend to pick what they like and don't like.

Btw, trader Joe's 12 grain crackers are loaded with iron.

for starters, I wouldn't take advice on this particular subject from a pool of people who have been conditioned to believe that animal protein is superior to plant protein their whole lives. Your husband like most people on the planet have a strong belief that animal protein is superior to plant protein. Its ingrained in us to believe this, though it happens not to be true and very good science has proof to the contrary. If you feed your child a vegetarian diet you will be in the minority, your health care professionals may or may not back you (health care professionals are yet another group of people who have very little training in nutrition), your friends and family will try and talk you out of it or think you are misguided. So on this decision N., do your research, antidotal advice will only lead you to eat according to our food pyramid which people take as gospel truth.

The very people who have crated our food pyramid and have for decades told us that meat and dairy are the only or in any case, the most superior forms of protein, are the very same people advocating for the meat and dairy farmers. Lets try that again, the same people who advocate for the famers who raise animal protein are the same people who have been allowed to create our food pyramid and tell Americans what foods we should be eating in which proportions. This is a conflict of interest.

I suggest you try and gently reeducate your husband so you can be on the same page. I don't think this is a hill to die on. If he cannot be on board, then feed your kid some meat. All I can say is that when my Medical Doctor husband finally realized through research and education that plant based protein was far superior and that dairy and meet are really just killing us all slowly, we finally took our kids of cows milk and meat. Of course milk and meat are nutritional. They contain things that our body needs and can use. They just wreak havoc on our cardiovascular system. Which is why its better to get your protein from plants.
Our kids are on nut milk and hemp milk. I still give them some cheese, and my husband recently dropped his cholesterol 65 points by giving up meat and dairy.
Here is a suggested read for your husband: How to Prevent and Reverse Heart Disease by Esselstyn
if he's into documentaries, try Forks over Knives

FYI the food combination thing is disproven science. Our body stores amino acids, you don't have to pair foods to have access to all the amino acids your body needs.

Just remember, the same people on here making you feel like meat is superior and necessary are the same people who don't know that the diseases their children are most likely to die from (heart attack and stroke) are 100% preventable.

Best of luck.

i think you'll have a better shot of persuading your husband to go with you on this if you can offer him something a little more substantive than you don't 'feel like' feeding your kid meat. and unless your LO is actually a teenager, she's too young to decide for herself. presumably a toddler isn't planning the family menus.
vegetarianism is a perfectly healthy and valid choice. if you decide to feed your child a vegetarian diet, i do hope you go on more than what you feel like feeding her. there are very easy ways to get the nutrients that meat and dairy provide through plant-based foods, but you need to know what and how.
one of my besties is a vegetarian, and she prepares all vegetarian meals. but her husband enjoys meat occasionally, and their three sons have all eaten meat when daddy makes it. as they're growing up, one is sticking to the vegetarian thing with mom, the other two still like an occasional hot dog with their dad.
intelligent parents can work this out.
khairete
S.

I don't think you should go overboard on this.

I changed my comment because, after reading what everyone else wrote, I decided I had gotten hung up that you were not respecting hubby's desires and that was disrespectful. So I am changing my post.

Hubby is this child's parent too. Okay? He has a right to have a say just as you do. He can eat what he wants as an adult and he wants to share his life and activities with his child. He wants to be able to have a say in the choices.

He should have that ability. You should be respectful of him as hubby but more so as this child's parent.

You should also have the choice and respect from him as the parent of this child.

So you both have to sit down and compromise. He should NOT get to say kiddo gets meat 3 meals per day, 7 days per week....and you should not say Kiddo will never, as long as I live, have any product containing meat at his lips.

What my main point is about is compromise that you can both live with.

What does your meal time look like? For those of us not sitting at the table with you we don't know.

Do you fix a meat dish for hubby every night? Does he eat what you fix 90% of the time? Does he eat his own food he makes or goes to get? Do you fix his meat dish meals?

What is the dynamic of your eating life?

If he eats what you fix most of the time but there is at least 1-2 meals per week that has meat then kiddo needs to be able to eat what is served at the table.

It's crazy to say "Child, you can have food from this dish, that dish, and this one but your are forbidden from eating of that dish down by dad. It has "meat" in it". Mixed signals for kiddo is confusing.

You and your husband need to agree. You have to decide and be clear on WHY you are a vegetarian and why you want that. Cruelty? Smaller carbon footprint? Worried about hormones? Something else? Letting a child decide things for themselves (diet, religion, you name it) can be a good thing if the child is fully prepared to evaluate choices, but it doesn't work in the early years at all, and a lot of people use that as their justification for not making a decision.

There is no requirement for humans to eat meat, but that does not mean that they can live on fruits and vegetables. So you have to identify excellent sources of all necessary nutrients. Part of the problem is that our foods, even the organic ones, don't contain anywhere near the nutrients they did 30 or 40 years ago. It's a huge factor in our health status today as well as the economics of food production (more mega-farms, fewer local farms, huge presence of GMOs, nutrient-deficient soil, accelerated growing techniques, etc.). The vast majority of corn and soybeans grown in the US is for animal consumption, not human. 3/4 of the antibiotics consumed are not by people with illnesses but by animals in CAFO (confined animal feeding operations).

Veruca Salt is on the right track below when she says that most supplements are not effective BUT there are a few that are complete foods (comprehensive so they DO work vs. most which don't contain enough ingredients to actually work - to please your husband), totally vegetarian (to help you) and formulated by experts in pediatric absorbable nutrition (to benefit your daughter). Those are the only ones I recommend to my clients - that's how food science works, and I make sure that everything is based on safety, clinical data, bioavailability (high absorption), non-GMO and other factors. Once these are in the diet, you have a great base on which you can add other foods for taste, nutrition, variety and enjoyment.

Your daughter needs a balance of proteins, complex carbs, healthy fats, some healthy sugars (e.g. fruit sugar), herbs, and fiber. That's not obtainable in most American diets, vegetarian or meat-based. So the answer is, neither you nor your husband is entirely right. Most vegetarian diets are deficient, but so are most meat-based diets. Adding one or two miracle foods won't make all the difference. My son is almost completely vegetarian (not vegan), and my husband and I eat meat or fish several times a week. But we absolutely supplement wisely and based on research, not the latest article or Dr. Oz show. The result are obvious to our doctors (great lab work, off medications) and to us (great prevention, no illnesses or allergies, more stamina, etc.).

Interesting answers. I do think it IS important to ask a variety of people this question, mainly because this is one part a nutrition question and LOTS of parts a relationship question.

I've been eating mostly veg (I do eat wild-caught seafood) for my own personal reasons, since about '99. My husband is cool with my style of cooking and will nearly always order a burger when he gets a chance... very much an omnivore. While I have strong personal beliefs for my own self, I felt that part of raising our son with my great husband is that I not disrespect how his father eats. Eating is a very personal thing, and declaring that somehow what dad does is 'lesser' than what I do is setting our son up to be critical of his father in an area where he really doesn't have the life experience or information to be so.

Thus, I've been very cool with our son being exposed to LOTS of different foods-- the only things we limit are unhealthy foods, and then, in quantity. (A little sweet isn't a big deal if you don't make it one.) I want my son to try whatever seems interesting to him. Your little one is still very young, so I'm just going to put it out there-- if you know how difficult it can be to entice children to try new things, you know that you don't want to set up a lot of barriers to that. I'd rather our son tried new foods as his curiosity led him than saying "No, you can't have that!"

Letting a child decide for themselves means not saddling our kids with our expectations. We know that for us to digest meat, we need to introduce it at some point so that the stomach can produce the enzymes to do so. I think this is a reasonable practice when we consider that our kids aren't *always* going to be right next to us; they may be served meat at some point. I try to look at it as giving my son options.

Now, here's the last part-- even with all of this, kids choose their own way. I have a kid whose primary proteins are eggs and cheese. He loves eel and some white fish or smoked salmon or chicken in soup, but all on his own, was mostly disinterested in meat. You might encounter what I have-- that my quasi-veg kid doesn't like beans and other vegetable proteins. We make them available, but it's just not his thing. Do you see what I'm saying? Sometimes, feeding a kid is a challenge even *without* the complications of dietary limitations.

I'll also say this, as an adult who, for health reasons, has a very limited diet... I envy the opportunity to eat what I choose, when I like. Limitations really, really stink. If I insisted on only vegetarian foods for Kiddo, I would have also been setting my husband up for limitations regarding what he could/couldn't feed Kiddo. And honestly, that's not how I want our relationship as a *family* to be. My husband is a healthy eater and has good sense, and I knew that before we got together, so I don't second-guess those choices. So, all this to say, for me, a part of this is respecting the person I chose to make a baby with-- our son is just as much a part of him as he is of me and I believe we can all coexist on this issue peacefully. To me, this IS letting our son choose, as he can, age-appropriately.

Wow, I completely disagree with Veruca and others. It is absolutely do-able to raise a healthy kid on a vegetarian diet- I have 3.5 and 6.5 year old boys who are proof of that (rarely sick, perfect iron counts, tall for their age, great hair... :)). My husband is a total carnivore, so I have had the same discussions that you are likely having. Here is what it came down to for me- I am always very careful not to impose my diet on other people. The farthest I have ever gone is to ask my husband to give up veal, which he did out of respect for me. I am not the kind of person who goes to dinner with people and makes comments about how "gross" their meat choices are or lectures them about factory farming. Everyone makes their own choices. But here is the thing- I think that the dietary choices that I have made are the right ones for me, both for nutrition and ethical reasons. Isn't it my responsibility to provide my child with my ethical worldview? If I was religious, I would teach my kids the basics of my faith. Since I am not, I teach them to be ethical people according to my beliefs and worldview, and for me, that includes not eating mammals and poultry. As small children, they must be taught to apply things like ethics. When they get older, they can develop their own choices, hopefully based on what they were taught. So yes, children can absolutely make a choice later in life to eat meat. I honestly hope that my children chose to stay with my "faith," if you will, but like any other belief system they may well abandon it or leave for a while and come back, as they grow and develop their own beliefs.

Explain to your husband how important this choice is to you. Compare it to a strongly held belief of his that he wants to pass on, whether it is religion, a political viewpoint, or something else. If it is not a deeply held belief for you (as an ethical or nutritional matter), it may be easier to follow your husband's diet.

I am happy to pass along vegetarian, kid-friendly recipes that are easy to make, just PM me.

The idea that you can't be healthy on a vegetarian diet is just ridiculous. Millions of Hindus, Buddhists, Jainists, and even some groups within Judaism and Christianity put the lie to that idea...

ETA- Having our kids eat some dishes and avoid others with meat is exactly what we do in our house. It is similar to kids with allergies- they learn quickly that they do not eat certain things and they accept it. It's really not that hard. My 6.5 year old knows that he does not eat meat and he knows how to ask if something has meat in it and how to say no thank you, I am a vegetarian. Big plus- my kids have never had McDonalds or Burger King or KFC, just by default :)
I think that my most persuasive argument to my husband was that not eating meat was a deeply held conviction for me, choosing to eat meat was simply a matter of preference and convenience for him. He does not have a deep conviction that killing cows is the right thing to do, for example, rather he just enjoys eating steak.

I think that you and your husband together should meet with a dietician to discuss this issue - what nutrients a toddler needs, and how will you fulfill those in a healthy way if you don't give your child meat. Your ped should be able to refer you to someone.

I am vegetarian. Whenever someone asks me "how long," I have no answer. I began cutting animals out of my diet at the age of 8yrs old. It was not political, religious, or even for rebelious reasons. I just didn't like the way it made me feel. When I was 18 and out on my own, it occured to me that I hadn't eaten any meat in a long time. I've been a vegetarian since.

I remained vegetarian through twin pregnancy even though my mom expressed concern. A lot of people would ask if I planned on raising my girls vegetarian. I found this question very odd. Since that was how I ate, why would I make something different for my children? When my girls were toddlers, I had friends who would tell me that my kids would want to eat McDonald's with their friends as they got older (even if I was a meat eater I think I would avoid- not real food).

I always said that as my girls got older I would let them make their own decisions. They are now 12 years old. They have always eaten a vegetarian diet. They are both very healthy, intelligent, and well adjusted children. They have no interest in eating meat and have even persuaded their grandparents to consume less meat for health reasons. They did that-not me.

On the other hand, I have a friend who's husband is Adventist. They raised their children vegetarian even though she is not. Their boys are now 12 and 14. The 14 yr old is vegetarian, but the 12 year old is not. They gave their children the option to choose. Around 9-10 yrs old her son began asking to try different types of meat. He gradually moved into being a meat eater.

So yes, a child can be raised vegetarian and be very healthy. Yes, a child can make their own decisions about what they want to eat. Just present your children with healthy choices.

As you well know, humans do not need meat. If you've been living a vegetarian lifestyle for 5 years, I'm pretty sure you are well aware of other sources of protein. As long as you cute your child's diet nutritionally balanced, there's no need for meat.

When you do decide to introduce solid foods, listen to your pediatrician. There are many books available to discuss, not just nutrition, but foods appropriate at various ages. Dr. Sears wrote a good one. Some foods are dangerous because they are choking hazards. Others because they are dangerous for immature systems. I'm thinking of honey, shellfish, peanut butter ... Talking to your ped is your best bet.

But human beings do not NEED to eat meat.

You can't let a small child decide for themselves. If I let my daughter decide what she wanted to eat, there would be fruit and veg, but there would also be lots of McDonald's and candy.

There is nothing wrong with feeding a child vegetarian if you are making sure they get enough of everything they need to grow. Iron is very important to a child's brain development, so you need to make sure your child is getting enough. My husband has a genetic disorder that makes it hard for him to filter out iron, so his body has too much. Consequently, we do not have a lot of red meat in our house and we have to put the iron in in other ways, because I'm not going to cook 2 separate meals, but my children and I need the iron. It's more difficult but can be done.

The biggest problem I see for you is that you and your husband disagree. I would think that you should allow him to feed her meat if he chooses to cook. I would think this would be like if you were of opposite religions, like our old daycare provider. Their daughter went to church with mom one week and dad the next, so that she was exposed to both of their religions. When she's an adult she can choose the one she prefers. If your daughter is never exposed to the meat, how can she make an intelligent decision?

When we were deciding on circumcising our son, I was very against it. (Still am....) My husband's argument was that he felt like this was just something that you do. I told him that I wasn't going to circumcise my son on what he "felt like" was he right thing to do. I made him research it and come up with valid reasons before I allowed him to do it, which he did. I never would have allowed it on just how he felt, which seems to be how you are arguing this with your husband. If you have valid reasons and have researched them, make your case. Otherwise your argument would have been too flimsy to fly in my house.

Children don't decide what they will and will not eat. Parents get to decide starting from the first day. You need to make sure your child's nutritional needs are being met which you can do with correct food choices while keeping with your vegetarian guidelines. Talk with your ped to get the amounts of protein, fruits and veggies for your child at each age range and figure out meals to provide the amounts.

It sounds like your husband still eats meat? If so, I think it's best to present a wide range of foods, including meat and let her decide for herself later on. This way, if you are preparing dinner with your husband, she can have some meat too if she wants it. And you'd have plenty of vegetarian meals as well.

Around age 9, my daughter decided to become a vegetarian, while the rest of us eat meat. It has worked out fine for us.

If you are both vegetarians, she should be too.

Hi N.,

I am not a vegetarian. My oldest is - age 19, has been vegetarian for only a year. At 18, my child could make this choice, and I support this choice by providing healthy vegetarian foods and investigating vegetarian recipes for while my kiddult is home visiting from college.

A one year old can't really decide whether or not to be a vegetarian. Children eat what they are served, or at least try it. If you don't offer meat, there is no chance that your child will be anything other than vegetarian. So, does your husband eat meat at home, and are you willing for your child to eat it if they show an interest?

If I was the parent in this situation, I'd take hubby and meet with a pediatric nutritionist. I would not leave this up to a pediatrician who likely has no experience or training in vegetarian nutrition for children, unless your ped happens to be vegetarian.

Good luck

I have been vegetarian since as long as I remember. I have very few memories of eating meat as a pre-schooler (and thinking "gross")

No one else in my family was/is. My mom never overthought it. I ate what I wanted, avoided what I didn't like. As a teenager I would often get questions about how I made sure I got protein. I don't know, I ate what I felt like eating and what was available at my house. To this day I just eat intuitively rather than intentionally. I've always been healthy weight, energy level, etc.

As a mom, I never overthought it during my pregnancy or breastfeeding either. I am married to a meat eater though, so we always have lunch meat in the house and I serve meat most nights for dinner. I don't worry about whether my kids eat it or not. I wouldn't be surprised if one ended up vegetarian.

A side thought, there is NO way for you as a parent to introduce your kid to every single food choice out in the world (we all do out own regional cooking and eat what is available or common in our family culture or area). So if meat happens to be something they encounter elsewhere but not in your home, what's the big deal? They will run into it at some point in their lives and decide if they like it or not. It reminds me of when I went to college and my boyfriend was asking me how to steam an artichoke. I had no idea you could buy fresh artichokes and steam and eat them. My mom just never did that. I was 20 years old and I thought artichokes just came chopped up and marinated in a jar. I didn't even know what a fresh one from the produce section looked like. Now I love them and buy them all the time.

This didn't answer your questions really, just gave you more "food for thought" (har har!) but I think you can go either way on it. She has the rest of her life to eat foods, and eventually WILL "decide for herself" no matter what you serve her. Whether it's at age 4 deciding she hates something everyone else seems to like, or at age 20, deciding she loves something new she never really knew about growing up.

If you choose to raise your child vegetarian, I think it's a valid choice. Do be sure though that you speak with a nutritionist/ dietician and work out what/when to feed them things. Traditional vegetarian food cultures have food combinations which are nutitionally sound. i.e. Mexican rice and beans. It goes without saying for them, but we might not think it mission critical. Apparently each alone don't do as much for you as both together.

Good luck to you and yours,
F. B.

I'm not getting hung up on the "I don't feel like" wording. I read it as you don't wish that for your child, not that you are being flaky. So no worries there, sometimes people get too semantic and can't read between the lines in these posts!

I have been vegetarian for 25 years, my husband for 20. When we had our daughter, we decided that we would not introduce meat to her when she was young. As she got a little older (even preschool-ish), we said if she expressed an interest in eating what other kids were eating, we would introduce meat for her. We didn't want her to feel like the odd kid out, and didn't want her to grow up with this to rebel against (smuggling Big Macs as a teenager or something!). So it was sort of a 'we won't pick that battle' things.

She never expressed an interest in meat. She asked a few questions, we answered them, done. She is now 14 and is the picture of health. We did ask her pediatrician when she was a baby about our choice, wanting to see if they were supportive of vegetarian diets for babies/kids. Surprisingly, her doc said it was a fantastic choice, and as long as we were responsible about going about it, she would likely be healthier than most. So I did make sure to get some books and make healthy vegetarian food for her, and it worked out great.

I will say the difference for you is that your hubby is not on board. Is he vegetarian? This may be a different outcome for you. It was probably easier for my daughter to stay vegetarian because that is all that we eat- all of us. I'm guessing if one of us ate meat she would have wanted to try it later on.

If you are willing to be flexible later on, you could present to your hubby the idea that you start your daughter out on a vegetarian diet and show him the info that supports the health benefits of this. And then agree that once she is older, if she is curious about eating meat, she be allowed to do that. If your hubby is just basing his opinion on common misconceptions, then he could possibly be swayed by the research you find. But if he feels very strongly despite this, you may need to be flexible. But so does he! I say that the compromise I mention makes the most sense (but that's just me!!).

By the way, not sure what Doris Day is talking about. The few whackos who starve their kids are so rare and random, this is not what I'm guessing you plan to do. :-)

One final note- I have a vegetarian brother whose wife was vegetarian when they married, and they were raising their daughter vegetarian. Then my SIL went back to meat, and so chose to give their daughter meat as well just because she ate meat again. It kind of broke my brother's heart. And fyi the daughter is sick all the time now!

I also have a sister who eats meat but my BIL is vegetarian. They did what I did- started out with a veggie baby. But as a preschooler, their daughter wanted to eat like mom, so they discussed and allowed this. Because it was a family decision that began as a compromise, everyone is fine with this. It's all about the respect for each other.

Good luck!

Okay, just talk to your Pediatrician about this.
That is how you will get professional... advice.

A "baby" cannot decide for herself.

I know some kids/families, who are raised vegetarian. But one of the kids is real unhealthy. The other, is healthy because he is given a range... of foods to eat and is not held to a rigid sense of eating. Although he MAY SOMETIMES choose, to eat vegetarian.

Ultimately, you NEED to talk to your Pediatrician about this.
For a child's physiological and brain development, a baby and toddler etc., needs a certain amount of fats/minerals/vitamins/calcium/protein to grow.
If your child... LIKES the way you eat, BUT is also getting a full range of needed vitamins/fats/minerals for her proper bone/muscle/brain/body development... then fine.
But, if the way you feed her, is not balanced per her age related needs for proper body/brain development, then what?
Thus, you need to get Professional, suggestions about this.

My Spouse is Vegan. Which is stricter than vegetarian. My kids are 7 and 11. BUT, he does not make, me or them, eat like he does. Sure, the kids can decide on their own. BUT... one thing about kids is... developmentally, and cognitively... they are fickle. What they decide today, is NOT what will be 4 months later. Nor even 2 days later. They cannot nor do not, STICK to a way of eating... continuously and concretely, like you or any adult. Nor forever.

My kids like my Husband's Vegan foods. Fine. But they can and do, eat anything else. And I feed them, according to what a kid needs per their age and per what our Pediatrician says.

I am not of the view, that you can "make" a baby/toddler/child "be" Vegetarian. Nor forever. And even if that child does eat "vegetarian"... one day she may not. And if she does not... is that going to be okay with you, personally? It should not be a choice of "pleasing" the parent. Eating should not be an "emotional" thing. That just causes eating dysfunctions.
And eating, should not be a thing... where it is an issue between the parents. Because then, the poor child will have to, mentally and emotionally... try and "please" both parents. A child, should NOT be put in that position. Eating... should not be a "problem." Nor an issue between parents, upon the child.

You said you are Vegetarian.
Is your Husband?
Ultimately again, you need to consult with your Pediatrician. Get medical, advice about it.

A child, should not feel bad... for what they eat if it upsets the other parent.
That is not right.
A child should not be put in that position.

You haven't said why you don't eat meat. Or why your husband prefers your child to eat meat. Is it an ethical decision? An environmental decision? Related to saving money? For personal health and nutrition?

You may find that each of your reasons reveal a set of values different from your husband. But together you can work to align your values. That is the essence of co-parenting.

You seem like a thoughtful person who wants to make conscious decisions. That's ultimately what this is about. Raising your child to think consciously about what they put in their mouth, where it comes from and why they are choosing that food is most important. That can involve no meat or yes meat.

If you'd like to compromise with your husband and honor his perspective as well as your own, then perhaps negotiate to feed your child meat and other animal products that can somehow help you live your values and concerns. For example, making meat products an occasional choice, not an everyday choice. Small amounts, integrated with lots of veggies and legumes, not meat as the centerpiece of the meal. Choosing foods that are raised locally, without added hormones, pesticides, antibiotics and vegetarian or organic feed can help here. Developing relationships with farmers. Making your own cultured foods like coconut kefir or cow yogurt. Growing your own food or making a pollinators garden that helps to heal the wildlife in your community. You will find a way!

It may help to find a pediatrician or naturopathic doctor who can talk with you and your husband and reduce any fears he has about your child missing protein or other nutrition. Maybe you can figure out a new family food culture together with support.

Also I recommend the film Forks Over Knives to watch with your husband. Very interesting and not too pushy.

Good luck N. and let us know how it goes.

I love Veruca's answer, a lot of truth to that.

You can't let a child decide, that is just not how it works. If you only serve her vegetarian food that is what your child will "choose". That isn't a choice, that is what you taught her.

If you want a true choice you teach her everything that is out there and at a point, generally older than ten, she can decide what is best for her.

There is a great book called Vegetarian Baby that came out in the 1960s (I think) that give you all the info you need to make sure your child is getting enough of the right kinds of protein and other nutrients. I suggest you find a copy on Amazon or at the library. It even goes over the right kinds of foods to begin with and how much of everything the baby needs.

I am not a vegetarian, but I am very familiar with all of the different types of veg diets. I'll tell you this, the veg parents I know all had kids that tried meat at some point, and the ones that avoided major conflict were the ones that allowed their kids to do so.

It's up to you and your Hubby to decide what you want to do.
It's possible to meet your child's nutritional needs without feeding her meat.

http://www.babycentre.co.uk/a555828/feeding-your-vegetari...

I have a DIL who was raised vegetarian. She is feeding the children the same way. My son is OK with that. He likes his meat, but he gets it when he (or the whole family) is not eating at home. At home, he supports his wife's choice. It seems to work out well for them.

But you need to have more to go on than feeling or even preference. Of course, your daughter will decide what she'll eat when she's grown up and responsible for her own meals, but that doesn't have anything to do with the question. I suggest that both you and your husband talk to your pediatrician or family doctor, and get some solid information to go on. You need to be a team in this matter.

If you are combining the proper amino acids and getting all aspects of the nutrients you need to get your child can be perfectly healthy & then can decided for himself when he gets older. But many vegetarians are not all that good about making sure all of nutrients needed for growing bodies are including in a child's diet. This is when their brains, bones & muscles are growing and forming and it's really tough to get them everything they need without animal protein & fats.

I am not a vegetarian - but a very good friend was for 20+ years - she had advanced degrees in nutrition and ran the food service for a very well known hospital. She knew how to make sure she had all the neccessary elements of a proper diet and was really healthy. But she did begin to add animal protein in to her diet when she began to plan to have babies. So since pregnancy she's been eating small amounts of poultry and fish (and eggs and dairy). She even has the ocasional beef or pork. Her kids are now teenagers and she never went back to vegetarian - although she doesn't eat a lot of meat, fish or poultry - she does have about a serving a day.

I'm not saying this is right for your family - what I'm saying is that she felt her kids needed animal protein as they developed for optimal brain and body function. While it could be found in vegetables it was going to be too much volume to get into little kids and as a result almost impossible. She didn't want to create food issues with her kids.

I hope this perspective is helpful.

Good for you. There are MANY ways to get protein that don't include meat. I work with many families who are into healthy eating with amazing results. I have a wonderful document that explains how many other foods have protein that is actually better for you than meat protein. Beans, tempeh, peas, nuts, spinach, broccoli, yogurt, cheese, avocado, beets and so much more! All can be made into amazing baby foods.

There is more to meat than protein...it's the steroids, antibiotics, growth hormones and other garbage that you are also feeding the body when you eat meat.

If you want a copy of my document about protein for vegetarians, send me an email: barbileeATheyyougetrealDOTcom.

B.

Your child cannot decide for herself about what nutrients fuel her body and her brain. Children need protein. Their dietary needs are different from yours. Your husband is right.

I will tell you that children have suffered from failure to thrive with vegan parents who are determined to have their children follow in their vegan footsteps. Social services has taken these kids away from their families for it. At least you are not as strict as vegans.

If you don't give your child meat, she will not develop a taste for it. You owe her the chance to decide herself once she is OLDER.