Question About Letting Baby Cry Himself to Sleep

This can be a touchy subject, with very strong opinions on either side.

I personally will not let my children "cry it out." If they're crying, they need something. Sometimes it's just an emotional need; they need to feel you and be close to you. That's the way of babies. :)

**I just wanted to add that we've coslept with our children. My eldest is 6 and she's been in her own bed since 3. She's never had any sleep problems and adjusted to being in her own bed just fine. Helping to soothe your child back to sleep does NOT mean he'll have problems later or be unable to sleep well on his own.**

In the end, you'll do what works best for you but I hope you'll read through these links:

http://www.drjen4kids.com/myths/crying%20it%20out.htm

http://babyparenting.about.com/cs/sleeping/f/cryitout.htm

http://babyparenting.about.com/b/2005/11/16/ferber-change...

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/handout2.asp

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I went through a similar situation with my oldest child. Crying to sleep is not harmful, as long as you've checked on him and everything is good. But what you need to do is stop feeding him, because he'll continue to wake up thinking it is is privelege. Our doctor told us that to break our daughter of this habit, let her cry, and that after about 3-4 nights she would start sleeping all night. And it worked! When she she would wake up in the night, I would check on her to make sure everything was fine (no messy diaper, not tangled in her sheets, not sick, etc.), then I would put her back in her crib and leave. She cried for a good 30-45 minutes, and it was rough on my husband and me, but by golly, she was sleeping all night by the 4th night, and has ever after been a great sleeper (she is now 13).

So be consistent, and stick it out, and I think you will be pleased with the results, and your child will thank you in the future!

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No its not a horrible thing to let him cry himself to sleep but you need to stay consistant with it. Create a pattern on the first night go in every 10 minutes, not picking him up, just to reassure. The next night 15 minutes and so on. Then eventually he should not need you to come in at all. I would invest in this book Sovle Your Childs Sleep Problem by Richard Ferber. It has some good ideas and a more detailed info on the "plan" I described above. Hope it helps.

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I wonder,have you tried putting cereal in his bottle with his milk? I've been doing this since my daughter was about three months old,and thats when she started going to sleep all night(to my everlasting relief!!!). You may need to make the nipple very large,about as big as a single fork tong, our combonation is two scoops formula and three scoops gerber rice cereal to four oz. water...and walla!!sleep in a bottle. When it comes to the crying to sleep,its a common practice among mothers,though no one would admit it. Its labeled with pediatricians as self soothing and is harmless...sometimes sanity is preserved this way,at least for me!

good luck! -tabby

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I never let my first child cry themselves to sleep. I felt like it was the worst thing anyone could do to their kids. That said, when my son was one, I visited my dr and she informed me the reason I was so sick and getting migranes was lack of sleep (still nursing and waking at night to nurse) and that I needed to let my son cio and not get up to nurse him. I thought I was going to die. He cried and cried for about a week and it was torture. But once he got the hang of it and understood I wasn't coming back in there, it was so much easier. Both of us are happier and it had absolutely no effect on our bond like I feared. If anything, it made it stronger.
I realize your son isn't quite as old as mine was, but I wanted to reasure you that you're not doing anything horrible. It won't traumatize him or anything (I know it feels like it sometimes- especially when they're screaming and you feel at fault.)My dr even said that she did it with all of hers, when they were right around a yr. Kids develop differently and maybe your's is just ready for the next step of independance. I say- Good for you for listening to your baby and being willing to take that step! He's going to cry at first, but he'll stop and will cry for shorter periods each time.
Good luck! And don't beat yourself up too bad. Just do what works and have no guilt. ;)

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I'm wondering if you might want to feed him some food and give him a bottle shortly before going to bed. From what you say, it seems that he's waking up because he's hungry.

If he's waking up again at 5:30, I'd take him back to bed with me. That's what I did with my daughters. It was one of the wonderful things about nursing. At nine months, roll-overs should not be a problem especially if you are not grossly overweight.

It's also possible that he's missing having close physical contact with you like when you were nursing him which is why he's reluctant to go back to bed. Of course, he could just be an early bird, too. One of my daughters was.

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There is a developmental theorist called Erick Erickson and in the first stage of his developmental theory, it is called "Trust vs. Mistrust"...This stage focuses on early infancy to about two years old. Erickson tells us that during this stage infants begin their quest in developing who to trust and who not to trust...they do this by crying out for food, wanting a diaper changed and by wanting to be loved. And, if the caregiver is not able to meets these needs, you are establishing "Mistrust" in your child...that no matter how long or hard he cries, he will not get picked up. Please, do not fall for old-wives tells that say "if you pick up your child too much, he will become spoiled"...The only form of communication infants have is through touch...please pick of your child and love and carry him constantly, you are building trust with him...let him know you'll always be there, no matter what time of day/night it is!!!!

Peace, Love and Babies
M. M.

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