Question About How You Treat Your Man...

Updated on January 20, 2011
L.P. asks from Uniontown, PA
22 answers

I just read a statement, and often read similar statements, where a woman professes to *spoil* her man.

Do you? And if so, what does that mean to you?

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Nope...not much spoiling here.....lol

Sometimes the people that profess their love and care the loudest are the ones most lacking......

10 moms found this helpful

G.T.

answers from Modesto on

I also rub my hubbys piggies and cut his nails for him. He does mine too! If taking care of each other is spoiling then I guess we are both spoiled.

6 moms found this helpful

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L.S.

answers from Spokane on

Ok, sorry....but double-EWWW to cutting a man's toenails!! WTH?? I don't even like clipping my KIDS' toenails.

"Spoiling" to me is something that happens to little kids that get anything and everything they ask/whine/cry for. If anyone's husband is behaving like THAT, then a week with me would cure him! LOL

My husband is a grown man who is more than capable of doing everything for himself everything that needs to be done. Honestly, "spoiling" my husband is not something I'd be bragging about.

12 moms found this helpful
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T.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

I think it was my post you may be talking about :) I do spoil my husband.

I disagree with the post from Denise P. There is nothing lacking. It does actually pay off. I got a full body massage last night. He had a boys night this past weekend and told them how lucky he was...when they were complaining about their wives. (i had come home early and sat for their firepit talk...lol!) He does all kinds of little things in return. Of course i do more, but i will take what i can get from him :)

Some examples are: he almost always has a hot meal ready when he gets home, i bring him his cocktails, all kinds of fun bedroom things, i make wings and homemade cheeseteaks for his game days, i make sure the house is stocked with all of his "favorites", i cut/dye his hair, scratch his back in bed nightly....tons more....

Yes, i sometimes lose myself. I think we all do regardless. It is still worth it all to me. My husband is very happy. That makes me happy and the kids happy.

Just beacuse i am loud and proud of my spoiling does not mean anything is lacking. I promise :)

9 moms found this helpful
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J.F.

answers from Philadelphia on

Wow ladies, my husband is an adult and can get his own food on his plate. I don't rub his feet either. I do take care of our kids and house during the day while he is at work and we share cooking.

I do spoil my children though. :)

8 moms found this helpful
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P.W.

answers from San Francisco on

I know I should but I am sadly lacking in the spoiling department.

7 moms found this helpful
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A.J.

answers from Portland on

I LOVE this question if for no other reason than the responses! LOL! I think in my home we spoil each other. If he see's I'm tired and I don't say anything, he takes over baby duty and sometimes makes me tea the way I like it. If I see he's tired or otherwise in a funk, I do the same. We share pretty much all household cleaning and baby time. I make him good food sometimes and pick him up from work every day, but he gives me 30 minutes of me time as soon as we get home even though I never ask for it. We are pretty wonderful friends to each other with the occassional rediculous argument. Gosh, I think he spoils me come to think of it. I should do more...but he's alone to tackle his own toe nails!

6 moms found this helpful
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B.P.

answers from New York on

Uh, no. I would like to know what that means too!

I read some of the responses and if you guys are happy and like to use that word...go for it! The only problem I see (beyond if one party is unhappy with the "spoiling") is if it becomes a health problem. My SIL loves to bake for her husband. Constantly. They are both morbidly obese.

Also, I asked my husband if he spoils me...and he said YES! I guess its one of those words that means different things to different people.

6 moms found this helpful
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J.K.

answers from Phoenix on

I wait on my husband hand and foot... he does things for me too. I just do what he wants me to do and what helps him out. He does the same for me although it looks differently. =) I guess I spoil him. He spoils me too. =)

5 moms found this helpful

J.E.

answers from Los Angeles on

haha, good question. Whats the norm for some would be spoiling for others. I bake him yummy stuff alot, but I enjoy doing it, ditto for making his fave dishes for dinner. I wear nice lingerie from time to time& keep things interesting in the bedroom. I do most of the housework and try to let him know how much I appreciate all that he does. It isnt spoiling really, just meeting his needs? I know my sister wouldnt do any of it for her hubby, and i have a gf who thinks I cater to him.

5 moms found this helpful
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K.S.

answers from Kansas City on

I just treat my husband with respect because that's the way I would want to be treated and he treats me with respect, in return. I don't think it has anything to do with spoiling, it's all about respect. That's the one key ingredient relationships need. If you respect each other, then everything else will pretty much fall into place. My husband and I do this for each other and neither one of us think marriage is difficult at all. In fact we both extremely enjoy being married.

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M.R.

answers from Phoenix on

After reading the posts, I wonder how happy some of the marriages truly are if the wife feels that the husband can fend for himself? To me it shows a condescending attitude toward their mate....but what do I know?

For me, I do the best I can depending upon how I am feeling. He used to be 'spoiled' in my definition. But sadly no longer due to my health issues.

For many years I did it all: took care of the entire house/yard, bore the children, took care of the babies (he changed a few nighttime diapers), managed all school activities including being a PTA Pres. one year, managed all children's doctor / dentist appts. (he came to the births), managed all the after school activities and sports (he attended graduations and big events), I paid the bills, I made all travel arrangements, I learned to cook his favorite ethnic dishes and had delicious hot meals ready at home when we ate in, I found our homes (he came to the closing), I did all the laundry with the children's help, I fixed him breakfast before work, bought his clothes and had them tailored, even took care of his parents. I did this to protect his time, and yes I have even cut his toenails.

But now, with the new post-accident me, he has taken over several of the household duties, except shopping and cooking. Can't get him to go there.

I also did this because I used to work full time as a single mom and I remember very well from those years how wonderful it would be to come home to a healthy, hot meal after working all day. And he thanks me profusely for my years of managing it all. Which usually means a good foot rub for me :) He already bought me an OSIM shiatsu massage chair. That was a baby gift.

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S.V.

answers from Los Angeles on

Absolutely not! I do everything around the house and take care of our 3 year old, dont get me wrong, he does take out the trash and do laundry but thats about it! I think I should be the one to be spoiled!!!

5 moms found this helpful
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M.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Occasionally. I mainly just really try to make a constant effort to do things that make his life easier/better. Leave him notes about how much I love him, fold his laundry a certain way, make sure dinner is ready when he is ready to eat, cut his hair, buy him whatever he needs--and give him cards to tell him how much we appreciate him. He tries his best to do the same for me. I think thats what helps us have a great marriage--we are both trying to make life the best it can be together and for eachother. He is always spoiled on his birthday and christmas-and of course-our anniversary. But mainly we just try to make sure we each feel loved and appreciated for what we each do to contribute to our family.

M

4 moms found this helpful
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J.B.

answers from Los Angeles on

i dont spoil my husband and my husband doesnt spoil me. i quit trying to even help him because he always has something mean to say. some women enjoy doing things to "spoil" their husbands.

3 moms found this helpful
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H.W.

answers from Portland on

Sorry, I just snorted reading that. I don't think anyone would ever accuse me of it, but perhaps I have a different interpretation of spoiled. I like doing nice things for my husband, I take out the garbage and recycling (his job) to the curb to help him out, try to make good meals and give him the requisite amounts of attention/space. I try to stay balanced in my treatment of him. But I don't think spoiling (which I interpret as 'letting him/enabling him to do/buy things I think would be bad for us/him to do/buy) my guy is my approach.

Nor, do I think, does he spoil me either!

3 moms found this helpful

H.*.

answers from Modesto on

I like mine to miss me when I'm gone, so the things I do that might be considered "spoiling" is: I plate his food for him, I rub his feet, he gets sex even when I'm not really into it, I answer the phone when his mom calls if he's not in the mood to talk to her, I do his laundry and put it away, I don't ask him to do what is considered to be "womens work", I always tell him how good lookin' he is, I give him facials and hot oil treatments, I cut his toenails for him. He appreciates all those things which makes it easy for me to do them for him.

2 moms found this helpful

M.R.

answers from Rochester on

Some of my husband's friends say I do, but they are not married. I love him, so I like making something nice for him when he's been working hard (we both work hard and he does the same thing for me). He and a friend of ours moved a really heavy sleeper sofa for me (someone was giving it away and we just had to move it) and I made them huge porterhouse steaks and five pounds of mashed potatoes, but I really appreciated that couch! We might joke that that is "spoiling" but when he is home before I get home and he shovels the driveway for me and has dinner started, I consider myself spoiled as well. I guess for us we just appreciate each other so it makes us feel special and spoiled when other people might consider it normal expectations. I guess it makes me happier not to take things for granted, even if I could. =)

He also takes care of our kids all day and still encourages me to take a nap after work if I'm really tired when he's home (he works 3 evenings a week).

2 moms found this helpful
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A.B.

answers from New York on

I think people have such low expectations about a relationship today that if the wife makes dinner 3 nights a week she's spoiling her husband(lol). I take very good care of my hubs, I cook when I can, I do laundry and i keep up the house and throw some lovin his way ;) He does the same for me. Is that spoiling?: I think it's love and respect.

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A.O.

answers from Sherman on

I don't spoil him, but I do respect him...and make it a point to tell him so.

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J.J.

answers from Toledo on

My husband is beyond spoiled...but...so am I :) I do everything from put his towel and his clothes out for him in the morning, to serving his meal to him at dinner time. He works very hard so that I can work very hard with our 4 children at home. I don't want for ANYTHING. Anytime I want or need something, all I have to do is say so. Its funny, we were just talking the other day about how he couldn't survive a week without me because he has no idea where any of his stuff is, lol. This came after I had a rough night with our two youngest and didn't get up with the alarm while he was in the shower. He had to rummage through the drawers to find his clothes. By the time he was ready to leave, I was downstairs. I went to kiss him goodbye and noticed he was still barefoot. That is when he pointed out that he has no idea where his socks are, so he was just going to wait for me to get up instead of tearing my house apart to look for them (then leaving for work while I get to put it back together).

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D.M.

answers from Denver on

I DO think I have been spoiling my husband. I don't think he knows it.

I actually wish he had more of a personal history, so he had some idea of how good I am to him and how little I expect in return (to be spoken to with respect, to have the things I say taken at face value, to have him touch my hair & face sometimes...).

Lately, I stopped doing many, many things because it's starting to hurt. Now, I am just "spoiling" him in the way he understands - with stuff.

I think it's lovely that there are "mutally spoiling" couples.

1 mom found this helpful
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