Question About Extended Breastfeeding

J., congratulations for making it this long. My son weaned himself at 8 months. While it was one of the hardest things I ever went through, especially because I wasn't ready, looking back on it, it was the way to wean. My daughter was still going strong at 13 months, I got very sick and had to go on steroids, which meant I had to stop breastfeeding immediately. She didn't take well to the cup and I had a hard time as well. Having done it both ways, if I ever had to do it again, I would pray that my child weaned on their own. It sucks now, but everyday it will get better. Still make time to have the bonding experience while giving him his morning bottle/cup. Good luck.

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My son did the same thing at 11 months and i felt the same way....unfortunately they do grow up...plus with only nursing once a day he may not have been geting much milk and didn't want to work or wait for his milk..it still feels terrible, but you should feel good and proud that you were able to nurse for so long!

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On weaning, they say in Le Leche League, "don't offer and don't refuse." (By the way, it's okay to refuse, in my opinion.) Your son might be done, but he might just be on a break. I suggest you leave the ball in his court. He'll come to you when he wants to nurse again. In the meantime, you have to mourn the loss of your little baby and celebrate the arrival of your big boy! I remember when my daughter weaned. She was 3. I was so ready to stop. By when it was over, I was shocked. Where did my baby girl go? Who's this big girl. I suspect this feeling will happen again with every new assertion of independence: school, play-date without Mom, overnight at Grandmom's without Mom, etc. Now I know why older women are sad when kids hit a rite of passage. It's a loss for Mom. But a gain for the kid. You can ultimately be happy that you have such a close connection with your son. That will last!

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I would say yes he is done. However, don't expect your milk to just suddenly dry up. I was down to one feeding a day and thought drying up would be easy. Well its been over 2 months and I still have milk. Also, about a week after I stopped I had to stay home from because the breast pain was so bad. I hope it goes ok for you. Good luck!

From my experience breastfeeding is a joint experience, but in most cases one is ready to let go before the other. Some babies really do wake up one day and decide that they no longer want to nurse much like mothers realizing they are ready for their child to stop nursing before the child is. I guess just be greatful for the time your son did nurse and for the experience it provided you both.

Hi J.,

I understand how you feel. Unfortunately for me, it was the other way around. At around 18 months, with my three kids, I couldn't handle breast feeding anymore! My kids always liked to nurse to go to sleep, whether it was a nap, or the nightly routine.

For me, each time was heart breaking, because they wanted to continue nursing. With my older two, I was already 4 months pregnant with the next baby, so I desperately wanted to stop nursing. It was very sad, to watch my daughter put her face in her hands and cry when I told her "it was all gone". With my middle child he would say "just for a minute?" until he finally gave up, and my third, she was definitely more persistant, but finally understood, that it wouldn't work anymore (she's 3 now and still has to "play with my Boo (belly) button" to go to sleep).

Although you are sad, keep in mind that he has gotten the best nutrition from you for 17 months. He's ready to explore what else is out there. You've graduated to the next level and you should feel proud of your son's independence!! You've done a wonderful job!

Now the fun stuff begins, when you try to introduce different types of foods, so he develops a taste for everything!

I wish you and your family the best!!

Take great care,

P.

Aww - poor thing. I would just offer it every morning for the next few days. My daughter went through this, and then started nursing again. {she's 18 months} Hugs though for nursing so long - good for you! I know your sad - but you did sooooo much good for him :] YEAH you! XOXOX K.

He is probably ready to stop nursing. Look on the bright side, at least you had the experience for almost 17 months AND you didn't have "take it away".

My first daughter only nursed for about 6 months. Once she started getting solid foods, she was done...and I was devistated. Now I have a 10 month old and she is starting to slow down a bit. She only nurses 3 times a day/night now, and while I like having more "freedom", I already miss it (even some of the middle of the night feedings).

But they all grow up one day...just imagine how we'll feel when they go off to college :)

Hello J.,

I'm so sorry that your son has not breast fed in a day or two. It very well may be his way of telling you he is ready to quit. It also could be something else entirely. If it were me, and I wasn't ready, I would keep trying for a few days. Honestly though, weaning, whether you "think" you are ready or not, is always bitter-sweet. I don't know that you can actually mentally prepare for it.

Good luck to you!

~C.
www.EnhanceYourWayOfLife.com

When my son Nicholas was 17 months old, he climbed into my lap to nurse, kissed the top of my boobie and climbed out of my lap and never nursed again... I was so sad but so proud of him.

My daughter weaned at 13 months. My next daughter tried to wean at 15 months and I encouraged her to keep going -- she eventually came back to nursing and then she nursed for 2 1/2 years...

So.... if you push through it and he does come back to breastfeeding, be prepared that he may hang out for a long time. We wanted to get pregnant again so the spacing between 3 and 4 is 4 1/2 years. I dont' regret it, but it did get to be a little difficult. She did wean herself and I did treasure that she nursed as long as she did.

My 4th baby is 5 weeks old now and I look forward to letting her nurse until college if she wants - she's the last baby.

GOOD LUCK

He is probably almost ready to be weaned. I had a friend whose daughter would nurse in the morning every couple of days. If you are only nursing once a day I don't think you will have any problems. I was nursing our first once a day when he was 15 mos old, then we found out we were pregnant. My husband wanted us to stop. My son was upset for a few days, then I let him nurse one last time and then he was fine and I never had any engorgement. It is sad to close that chapter with your baby, but hopefully you will remember those last few times nursing. Maybe you will get to experience it again with another baby. I am currently nursing our third, who is almost five mos old and I have no timetable to wean her since she is my last!

Hugs to you. I have been bfing my daughter for 13 months now. I will be very sad once we wean. I would just go with the weaning and don't force the issue.

I think that he's probably done and I don't think you should force it on him if he isn't interested. alo I would offer him sippy cups b/c the bottke is another hard thing to wean. Most ped. suggests getting rid of bottles and offering sippy cups when baby can sit unsupported!! (6 mos) you don't want to stair him backwards!! Just think of it that he's maturing:)