Question About Additional Frozen Embryos

I am almost hesitant to answer this question for fear of being verbally crucified, however I do have an opinion I am willing to share. Adoption is a wonderful thing, I myself was adopted and raised by wonderful people, and I believe that your consideration is both warrented and unselfish. However, as a mom, if I were to put myself in your shoes, I would worry about the "embryo" and the family that is was given to. Yes, screenings can be done, but people and situations can change, making an ideal one go wrong. I feel very stongly that stem-cell research is completely worthwhile and needed; that if I had the option to help by donating cells to save lives, possibly thousands of lives, then that is the way I would go. I hope this helps, and please to everyone else, we each are entitled to our own beliefs and opinions.

Your situation is a tough one. I think it's wonderful that you are considering donating your embryo's to stem cell research or going the adoption route. My personal feelings would be to not keep in touch with the parents that would be doing the adoption. I would want to know the facts of course of their history, medical background, etc. & I would like to meet them, but I think it would be really hard to hear updates about the children. It would give me a false sense of hope that I may one day see them & be part of their life. It wouldn't be fair to their adoptive parent's. There are many people who are not able to have their own children & this is a way to share your life with theirs. Stem cell research is also vital for finding many cures for illness that take so many lives. What would I do? I think I would do 1/2 & 1/2. I would donate to both causes. I wish you well with your new child and I hope you find peace in the decision that you & your husband make. It takes a very "special person" to do what you are doing. Best of Luck!

Hi K.!
Wow - this is a subject I too thought of constantly. I went thru a regular IVF that didnt take, so I had 13 frozen embryos remaining. Before going thru the frozen embryo transfer I wondered what I would do with the remaining if the transfer resulted in a pregnancy (which it did! yay us!). During the defrosting process of the 13, only 4 survived. I felt sad for those that didn't make it and thought of them often. My sisters do not understand that feeling, but - I felt a loss.
Before the transfer, tho i gave it a lot of thought. For all the reasons you stated - I could not offer them up for adoption. It would drive me crazy knowing "my" child was out there. Altho, I wanted to help all those that werent as lucky as I was. So - I thought the next best thing would be donating them for research. Which is what I would have done. I am a full donor myself, and believe we have to learn and advance with whatever methods available to us. Good for you for researching and soul searching your decision. Whatever you decide, know that you are making a good decision.
Congrats on your pregnancy!
Jo.

You are right, this is one of those hot point subjects, but here goes. I would do the adoption thing. There are so many people out there that want children so badly and can't have them on their own. I personally have a friend who, all 6 of his sisters went through early menopause (late 20's early 30's) and can't have their own kids. Honestly, people who want kids that badly are the kind of people that we want as parents. My aunt and uncle couldn't have kids of their own and have adopted 4 kids, but it's still different. You never get to feel that child growing inside you. I personally love that feeling. And if I had the chance to offer that to another mother I would. There is nothing like it in the world. You know your child before it's even here. And yes these are your biological children, but you don't know them like you know your own kids, so it's not quiet the same. If given the oppurtuntity, I would opt for the adoption.

hi K.,
to be short and sweet -- i have 1 or 2 (it's been a while) frozen embryos from ivf. not sure if i will use them or not, probably not. i would love to donate them for stem cell research. i feel the same way you do about donating them to a couple. i LOVE the thought of that, esp b/c what i've been through, but just can't. i feel like i'd need to know the child... anyway, donating to research would be my choice if the fertility center would do that. i haven't looked into it in depth though.
good luck w your decision :)
J.
ps congrats on your baby girl!

Hi K.! I currently have 4 frozen embryos that I plan to use but if I didn't and had all the children I wanted I think I would donate them to a couple who could not have children. My husband and I know the pain of infertility all too well and I would want to help someone else in any way that I could. Of course I would think about them but then I would look at the child I do have and know that the other couple are as happy as I am. Ultimately the decision has to be up to you and your husband. Good luck in whatever you choose. And Congratulations on your new little bundle!!!!