Question - Fort Riley,KS

Aunt...they can have lots of Aunts!

7 moms found this helpful

She will be Aunt/Auntie Whatever. His ex-wife will ALSO continue to be Aunt/Auntie Whomever. Can't have too many Aunties!

7 moms found this helpful

If they are married, she is also their aunt, even if they know and love his first wife as well. I am the 2nd wife and am an aunt to my niece and nephews (though I admit it's not as close a relationship as it might've been if they were younger when DH and I met).

FWIW, my family had so many "honorary" or "we kept her" aunts that I was an adult before I realized some were not technically on the family tree. There's room. :)

5 moms found this helpful

She's an aunt. You can have more than one!

5 moms found this helpful

I agree with Sherri. My sister and her ex have been divorced for 15 years, and he is still Uncle Lou, but her now husband is Uncle John. If it's a matter of you not liking the new bride, it doesn't matter. I don't like my brother's wife, but out of respect for her position in the family and as my brother's wife, she is Aunt Becky to my kids.

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From what I hear from my friends, both women may be Auntie to your children. I'm assuming that the new wife will want to be called Auntie. I'm also assuming that the new wife will *be* the new wife when she is first introduced. If your BIL's former wife is staying in contact with you and your family, your children could have both Auntie Mabel and Auntie June. It's another version of "extended family." Of course, you'll have to do a little explaining to your children well before the new Aunt arrives.

When my daughter was engaged, her nieces called her fiance Uncle right away, months before the wedding. They couldn't figure out what else to call him. If he had backed out of the whole thing, he would've been in trouble with a number of small people!

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She's an aunt. She is marrying their uncle. Regardless if she is your brothers 5th wife, she will be their aunt. Do not add any adult thinking to it to complicate it for them. You may have your own personal feelings, don't let them show. Intro should be: "This is your new aunt so snd so."

4 moms found this helpful

This is Uncle Bob's new wife Sally. That makes Sally your Aunt, so you should call her Aunt Sally. Kids can have lots of Aunts, so the ex that they know and love can still be their Aunt as well.

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The first Aunt will probably always be Aunt to them, and now the new wife will also be their Aunt.

I am in my 50's and still call my family members ex's Aunt or Uncle...

4 moms found this helpful

She will be their Aunt and should be called Aunt when they meet her.

At 12 ( the oldest) is obviously old enough to understand divorces by now. I would let the kids know that their Uncle has divorced their Aunt XXX and they will be having a new Aunt XXX that they get to meet around Christmas.

I have 3 Aunts that are not longer technically my Aunts anymore by divorcing my uncles... but in my heart they will always be my Aunt and to this day I still call them Aunt XXX and still let them know I love them when I talk to them. Two of them haven't been married to my uncles for almost 20 years and I still refer to them as my aunts... even in front of my Uncles.. their ex's.

4 moms found this helpful

Hi mrs. S-

I fall on the side of one can NEVER have too many "Aunties" (or "uncles" ).

I am a product of a military upbringing...

AND ALL my kiddos LOVE all the 'aunties' and 'uncles' they have as a result.

A 'kiddo' can NEVER have too few people who love them...and call family...IMO

Best Luck!
michele/cat

Oh...PS...

My kiddos, for YEARS now...have addressed MY SO as "Mr. Pete"...

It is a term of 'endearment'...

In hindsight...I wish I had made it 'uncle'...

BUT "Mr. Pete" it is...works for us!

4 moms found this helpful

I'm another vote for Aunt or Auntie. There are a couple exs in our family and they will always be Aunt or Uncle no matter what and new husbands and wives are also Aunts or Uncles.
My kids have a few very close family friends that they call Aunt as well. I have an "uncle" that has been friends with my parents since before I was born. He's always been Uncle to me. Just the way it is.

4 moms found this helpful

She's going to be part of your family so she should be referred to as Aunt _____. My brother-in-law is remarried and his new wife is my girls Aunt Claire =)

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Everyone is an aunt, uncle, grandma, grandpa or cousin in my family. Lots of people use those titles for close friends so I'd go with Aunt XXX.

3 moms found this helpful

I would go with Aunt. Its really kind of a loose term. I know people who have their kids call their close friends "aunt'. The kids may be fine with it and not think twice...don't let your feelings about this affect how they feel.

3 moms found this helpful

Aunt, Aunty, or just her first name. Actually, this happened to me, and the first wife was Aunty Marigold, and the second wife was simply Violet. We still thought of Violet as our totally genuine Aunt.

3 moms found this helpful

If they call your husband's brother "Uncle Who Ever", then they should call his new wife "Auntie Who Ever". However, you probably should ask your husband or his brother what their prefrance is.

Your husband's brother's wife is NOT going to be called "MRS S." I don't now how many kids you have but the oldest child has probably heard about DIVORCE. My suggestion is to have a sit down with your family and let them know that "UNCLE" is married to someone else. If you still see and love the former spouse of uncle.....let them know, but for the younger ones, don't give too much information. Just let them ask questions and answer them as honestly as you can.

3 moms found this helpful

It's okay to call both of them "aunt". Why on earth would one be "aunt" and the other be "Mrs. So & So". She is their aunt, and should address her as such, in my opinion.

You are projecting & thinking about this like an adult, not a kid, and I'm betting you're over thinking this.

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If they call him Uncle it would be very very very rude if they didn't call her Aunt XXX. She is legally their aunt no matter what they feel. They might come to love her too.

2 moms found this helpful

Considering I am my hubby's second wife and all of his nieces and nephews call me Auntie, I say introduce her as Aunt so and so. That doesn't mean they can't still call his first wife Aunt - they can and should. But this new wife is also their aunt and she should be acknowledged as such.

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Aunts and Uncles arent like moms and dads, you can have more than one of them. I would just introduce her as Aunt.

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If your kids call their uncle Uncle Frank then you should say this is Uncle Frank's wife, Aunt Barb. If they call him Frank then you should say this is Frank's wife Barb.

I personally don't like to be called aunt. I just want the kids to use my first name.

2 moms found this helpful

With the oldest it should be their choice what to call her. Technically Aunt is correct but if the kids are comfortable with her the Ms XXX (first or last name) will be just fine.
My sons aren't fans of my brother's second wife and even though she signs stuff at Aunt such and such they don't like it and have told me so. I told them they could call her Ms XXX(her first name) and leave it at that. If they change their minds later and decided to call her aunt that is fine with me.
My bil divorced his wife who my kids love and still call her aunt even though they have been divorced for 2 yrs now.

2 moms found this helpful

Aunt so and so...your Uncle Joe's new wife.

If your family uses the titles of 'Aunt and Uncle' then she deserves the same respect, regardless of any other issues/feelings they/you have with the old Aunt.

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My stepkids all simply called me by my first name, as did my husband's nieces and nephews. Worked fine for me. If they want to call her "Aunt" let them. If they don't, don't force it.
On the flip side, I am called "Aunt" by friends' kids - I've known them since they were conceived, and their moms are like sisters to me.

1 mom found this helpful

My aunt has been married 4 times. I had one uncle. Sorry, the others just didn't meet the uncle title standards. See how your kids feel when they meet her. Don't push.

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As for introducing her to your kids, you introduce her as 'Uncle Bill's wife Alice' Then let your kids decide what they are comfortable with. My kids do use Aunt for one SIL, but for the other SIL, they just use her first name.

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I think you should ask your new SIL how she wants to be addressed.

Ask the Uncle what he thinks. When my husband's brother divorced I asked him if the girls could still call his ex-wife "Aunt Laura". He said it was fine, she is their cousins mother and always will be. He is getting married and my girls will call the new wife Aunt. They just get to have an extra one. You can't have too much family.

If they'll be married when your children meet her, then she'll be their aunt. It's a title of respect so it will be appropriate to introduce her as Aunt Sarah, Uncle Joe's new wife.

When I was a young teen one of my uncles divorced his first wife and married again. We did meet her first, and I was prepared to hate her. We did know her as simply "Sarah" first, and didn't call her Aunt Sarah until after they married so there was a cushion of time there, but it wouldn't have mattered. We did fall in love with her. She was young, pretty, cool, smart, funny, and she loved us right away too.

I love what Kristin C. said... :) I'd say, Auntie or whatever her first name is. That's what I'd do. My kids stopped saying "Aunt" once they got older.

these are like step nieces and nephews, so i would say by the first name. steps are usually first-names in my experience.

i had an aunt who was a single mom for most of my life, she married young and divorced before i can even remember the first guy. she remarried when i was in my teens, and for a long time i called her husband "bill"....eventually it became "uncle bill".

just let it flow naturally, whatever they are comfortable with. i don't really remember anyone telling me to call him ANYthing. but eventually as he became part of the family (as second spouses do), i heard "uncle bill" around the family and that's what we all call him now. no biggie, no pressure.

First name or ask the uncle what he thinks.