Public Smoking

I'm sorry. I have a head cold and this is one of those things that I think can just be taken too far.
I understand your concern for your children, but at what point do we stop expecting other people to move for us?
What if you'd been circling the parking lot trying to find a space and dang if someone with zero children in the car had the nerve to park right in front of the pediatrician's office in the freezing pouring rain? Or, a thousand degree weather, either of which could be harmful to your babies transporting them to and fro.
Would you approach them and ask them to move?
I mean no offense to you or anyone, I honestly don't. I have kids. I have a new grandson. I don't think the man should have been rude to you, but some people get upset when other people with kids believe that because they have kids, they have the right to tell other people, even complete strangers, what is and isn't acceptable in public places. Some people don't appreciate kids running around at the movies or jumping on benches at restaurants and dripping syrup down the backs of their heads while they are trying to enjoy a meal either. We expect them not to say anything or give dirty looks because kids will be kids. We get absolutely offended if anyone makes a remark, but it's okay to remark to other people about what they do around our little darlings.
I just think that sometimes, if somebody, an adult, who is trying to mind their own business in public, gets nagged at by someone they don't even know, might not move just because we don't agree with what they're doing.
He was standing outside of his car. What does that mean?
If he was standing so close that you couldn't get your kids in whether he was smoking or not, you could have said "excuse me" due to the proximity in general. If it wasn't about the smoking, he probably would have moved.
You catch more flies with sugar.
It was an incident. Your kids are fine, I'm sure.

16 moms found this helpful

If one whiff of second hand cigarette smoke were deadly, generations and generations of babies would not have made it past their first week of life.

I understand those MamaBear claws are out, but a little common sense goes a long way.

Did you stop at the ER on the way home to make sure you kids are not dying from the possibility of one breath of smoke?

Jeesh.

:)

15 moms found this helpful

You way overreacted. Your kids are not going to be hurt by getting into the car and being exposed to second hand smoke for 5 seconds. It's not about being uneducated it's about respecting other peoples rights as well. He was outside. I'm not a smoker but I am against banning people from smoking outside. I'm sick and tired of people wanting the gov't to regulate everything in our lives. Fine, no smoking in indoor public places, but regulating the outside air? Where does it stop people?

12 moms found this helpful

Expecting that is kind of silly. Thats like asking the world to revolve around you, as if you should be in a protective bubble. Its legal, hes by his car, he has rights. Smoker or non.

12 moms found this helpful

I am highly sensitive to scents....such as most strong perfumes. If I had asked you to move....how would you feel?

Another solution could have been for you to move the car closer to the building so your husband could load the kids up....without infringing on a stranger's personal choice. Did you really have to get in his face over it?

Just saying...what seems soooo wrong to you, felt 100% natural to that man. & NO, I am not a smoker & never will be. Peace....

11 moms found this helpful

wow, to "Bug" who said she has never known a polite smoker - judge much? i am a former smoker, and i have friends who are smokers. most are mothers, many smoke only when away from their own kids, and most hate the habit and would love to quit. and i guarantee IF someone NICELY asked them to step away from their kids, they would have no problem. perhaps you have never met a polite one because you have never BEEN polite to one. they are people too, with integrity and conscience. just like non smokers.

HOWEVER. this guy did happen to be rude. although i don't believe it's his RESPONSIBILITY to move away so your kids can avoid thirty seconds of smoke (not a huge issue imo), it would have been nice, since you were forceful enough to let him know you expected it. like someone else said, husband could have moved the car so your kids could get in "safely". as you said, it's your right not to subject them to it, so you chose to keep them inside until he was done. your choice. but in the end i don't think it was worth the stress you seem to feel from the situation. it wasn't his responsibility. and don't forget, your kids are breathing just as bad, daily. not to mention what is in the things they eat and drink. honestly i think this is a non-issue from the get go.

10 moms found this helpful

Wow. This is one for the baby book. IMO, I think you were unrealistic. Would it have killed him to move to the other side of his car? No. But I would imagine if your attitude was other than totally pleasant he probably would have figured "why should I?". I can't tell from your post exactly the facial expressions, tone of voice, etc.....but unless (and this may be) he was just a super rude person, I can't imagine him NOT accommodating you. But after all he was OUTSIDE already. In the great outdoors. Do we now need smoking and non-smoking parking lots? Please!

10 moms found this helpful

Look, you're trying to protect your babes. I don't think your desire is "so wrong". I do think it's misguided and pretty extreme. My understanding (after doing research and speaking with a few pediatricians about this topic) is that we should be concerned about daily exposure to second and "third" hand smoke. Walking by a smoker, however, will not cause irreparable damage to our children (unless they have an allergy or an unique condition).

If I were that man, I would have moved over a few feet. Likewise, I wouldn't bring a meat dish to a vegetarians house, or let my dog sniff the crotch of someone who has a fear of dogs. But if I were loading my children into the car, I would not sweat (not even a little bit) a person smoking a few feet away. It's just not a big deal.

Truth be told? Your car exhaust is filled with many of the exact same (if not worse) chemicals. Check this out (and this is the short list):
Carbon Monoxide
Nitrogen dioxide
Sulphur dioxide
Suspended particles, PM-10 particles less than 10 microns in size.
Benzene
Formaldehyde
Polycyclic hydrocarbons

Sounds a lot like the list of what is found in (additive) cigarettes, but it's what comes out of your (and my) car.

(((laughing))) Imagine the result if I were to ask someone not to start their car while my kids were within shouting distance. I don't think it would go over so well.

Our kids are not made from glass.

And frankly, I'm pretty confused about (how far we've taken) the war on tobacco (not the laws or restrictions, but the cultural fear of smokers), when we pump far more (breathed in) toxins into the air each time we go drive our car to the grocery store. We subject ourselves and our kids to those same toxins when we cross the street, walk next to a freeway, or fill our car up with gas, etc.

Smoking is not healthy. CLEARLY first, second and third hand smoke are not good for us. Car exhaust being detrimental to our health, doesn't stop me from driving into town a few times a week. One does not cancel out the effects of the other, unfortunately.

However, it can put our concerns into perspective. If someone asked to smoke in my car, or in my house, they'd get a firm NO. But outside, away from vent systems, doors, etc? Not on my list of No Nos. It seems far more minimal, to me, than what we put into our environment every day, with all of our petroleum based products, factories, and transportation.

9 moms found this helpful

Something like you described I wouldn't have done anything. Unless you are sooooooo slow getting your kids in the car the amount of smoke they would have inhaled was next to nothing.

It wasn't his fault someone parked too close to your car either. Why didn't your husband hang on to the kids while you moved the car away from the other car and the smoking guy?

Ya know this is the first time I have ever sided with a smoker in my life.

9 moms found this helpful

You do not want YOUR child exposed to second hand smoke, that is YOUR absolute right....it is YOUR job to accomplish this, not others around you.

Your choice+Your child=Your move

~It is unfair to expect others to bend to your will.

Lots of other ladies gave you options on what 'Your Move' could have been...
Wait inside till he was done.
One of the adults moves the car & picks up the other adult & the kids

You had other options.

8 moms found this helpful

I didn't read the large number of other posts, and I get your concern. I completely support the smoking ban. HOWEVER, he was outside and if he wasn't in your way, keeping you from physically getting the kids in the car I think you were being dramatic. Just put them in the car and leave. Do you carry disinfectant with you when you takes the kids to the doctor (i mean what about all the germs)? Or disinfect every surface at a resturaunt/grocery store ect for the same reason? and what about your cleaning products, those are poisonous and have fumes, you have to be realistic, and unless someone is breaking a law you need to let it go, after all there is a reason this man was standing by his car.

8 moms found this helpful

In my opinion you way over reacted. The man was OUTSIDE in a public parking lot.

It's bad enough that people are making virtually impossible for smokers to smoke ANYWHERE - the 2 seconds it was going to take to walk past him, the babies weren't going to be affected.

My husband smokes. I do not. He is a polite smoker and does not smoke in the house. When one could smoke in restaurants my husband NEVER smoked when the food was out.

"subject my babies to something so deadly"???? Are you kidding me?! Are you a helicopter mom? Hovering every second? Yes, second hand smoke has it 'dangers' but LIFE has its dangers.....and for the fleeting moment or two they would be passing the smoker? NOTHING DEADLY....remember - Christopher Reeves wife NEVER smoked a day in her life and neither did anyone in her family - yet she died of lung cancer.

LIVE YOUR LIFE!!!! DO NOT expect people to bend to your will or way of thinking - it just won't happen. You are worrying about things you cannot change......enjoy your children....you cannot protect them from EVERYTHING.....they need to LIVE!!!

About the car being parked too close? Yeah - that drives me nuts. And just yesterday I went to the store and parked in the VERY last spot against the curb - a lady comes out - and rudely says to me "I HATE it when people park too close to my car." LOOKING AT ME - MY CAR?! I said "excuse me?" She said "you parked to close to my car" I said "that's NOT my car - pulled out the keys and hit the locks so the horn would go off...."SEE?" and she scurried to her car.......so really? I THOUGHT she was being rude - just like YOU THOUGHT the man was being rude....it's all a matter of perception.

7 moms found this helpful

I don't say anything, I just try to get up wind if I can.
The man was out in the middle of a parking lot.
Being outside with a reasonable breeze blowing should dissipate the smoke pretty quickly.
A small amount of smoke will clog my nose up but I remember when smoking was EVERY WHERE and I'm glad enough now that I don't have to breathe it when I work or if I go out to eat in most places or going to the movies.
I'm willing to let him have a little space to puff away in a parking lot.
You could have pulled your car around to pick your kids and husband up at the door.
There are more diplomatic ways of handling this.

7 moms found this helpful

The guy was rude, period. But you coulda quickly put your kids in the car and not been so dramatic about it. We breathe and eat lots of weird stuff every day.
Breathing fumes from cars happens all day long... I guess if you could SEE all that we breathe-in all day people wouldnt be so freaked out about tobacco smoke. What we DONT see is far more dangerous. But I do understand you want to prevent the things you can. We do face many invisible dangers.

7 moms found this helpful

I don't see the need to ask him to move. You could have easily had the children stand a short distance away with you or your husband and driven the car over to pick them up.

Or you could have just quickly put them in the car without saying anything to the man, and gone about your day.

And really I don't think that exposure to cigarette smoke for a few minutes is going to cause long term harmful effects on you or your children.

I think the man was wrong to say anything rude to you, but I think you were wrong for asking him to move. If it is not a no smoking area then I would never say anything to a person smoking.

6 moms found this helpful

Do you really think that 10 seconds of exposure to someone smoking outside would harm your kids?? Highly doubtful! Smokers have been forced to go outside and smoke thanks to all paranoid control freaks that have emerged. Now, that they are outside they even get frowned on and expected to move because a non smoker wants by, so I have to say, that I do understand the nasty attitude this guy had. While his attitude may have been rude, it was also rude of you to ask him to move when he was there first.

I don't smoke, but to be honest, I am SO sick of this superior attitude that nonsmokers have. Enough of this righteous attitude people!

6 moms found this helpful

I usually have very little patience with other people, so instead of getting in a person's face, I generally remove myself from a situation like that, whether they smoke, sneezed, or farted near me.

6 moms found this helpful

I do smoke.
He was a jerkface.
I'm pretty sure your kids will come out of it okay.

5 moms found this helpful

I'm not a smoker and don't like being around it. However, the guy wasn't breaking the law by standing outside his car with the cigarette.

Not wanting to expose the babies to the cigarette smoke was your choice and a good one. I would have just gone back inside with the babies and had my husband get in the car and drive over to pick me up, why wait? Why ask the guy to move, he was there first...and honestly if he really cared he would have voluntarily moved once he saw you coming with the kids.

Not everyone is always thinking in the "protective parent" frame of mind.

5 moms found this helpful

Your kids breathe worse if they're in a city on a summer day! A whiff of smoke isn't a big deal. It would be different in a confined space or if the guy purposefully blew smoke at them. You're going to encounter this a lot -don't worry so much!

5 moms found this helpful

If it is in a public place where smoking is allowed, it doesn't bother me. I just simply try to avoid it. In your example, I would have either gotten the kids in the car quickly or waited on the curb with the kids and had my husband pull the car up to load the kids. I would not have asked the man to move, but I am pretty cowardly when it comes to confronting people. (especially with my kids with me!)

5 moms found this helpful

Im a smoker but I consider myself a curtious smoker if there is such a thing. I don't smoke in front of my kids or anyone elses or in crowds, that kinda thing. It wouldn't of killed him to move but that's how some people are. I don't blow smoke in my kids faces and wouldn't want anyone else too!

4 moms found this helpful

So you were actually really concerned about the 20-30 seconds of smoke they might inhale while moving past a smoking person in a parking lot? Seems a little self centered and overly worried about something that simply isn't a helath threat to your kids. I'm not a smoker and never have been and I do feel awful and grossed out when I see an adult smoking with a child, I realize if they do it in public that kid is probably breathing smkoe 24/7 at home. Those situations are entirely different than what you're describing, that guy has no responsibilty to your children and if you were really worried about that kind of exposure (as someone said car daily exhaust and pesticide exposure have got to be worse) why not just stay back and let your husband pull the car out to load the children? If you don't let some things go concerning kids and safety you'll drive yourself crazy. It gets worse as they get older and want to jump off the highest rock into the river or go to the movies without and adult for the first time.

4 moms found this helpful

I get both sides of the arguement to a degree ... I am a smoker, and I keep it to a few places ... My front porch/friends porch (if they smoke too) ... near my car in the parking lot when in public (w/out my son) but do move when people are getting into their cars... Bars that you can smoke in (some do exist) and designated areas at bars. I do not smoke at the doctor's office parking lot (smoke and sick ppl do not mix), I do not smoke infront of a building's door however if I smoked in the parking lot and that is where the ash tray is it can not always be helped you may intake some when I am putting it out. I think he was rude to have not moved when requested ... many smokers simply move but I will be honest my FIL would NOT have moved and he smokes mini cigars. Many older men who have smoked their whole lives do not understand why everyone does not still smoke it just it what it is. I think I just lost myself -- so no, you are not totally wrong but I do agree with Jo G. on just moving your car while the kids stayed with dad inside.

4 moms found this helpful

I understand your concern, but keep in mind how discriminated smokers are now. I used to be a smoker (do NOT miss that bad habit) and I always tried to be conscious of those around me. But, I do agree with some of the previous comments below. Though this guy clearly was a rude jerk, you cannot reasonably expect someone who is smoking next to his own car outside to move for you. Here in Ohio smokers cannot smoke in ANY building and have to so many feet away from any building, so if you asked a smoker to move here you probably would of heard some choice words. Just a tiny bit of smoke wouldn't of hurt your children.

4 moms found this helpful

Yes, he was inconsiderate and yes it would have pissed me off. I probably would not have said anything and just got my kids in the car as quickly as possible. I really HATE when I go into a store and I have to walk through a cloud of smoke in order to get in the store. Why is it that some smokers feel the need to congregate right outside the entrance to a store? They have the choice to smoke, but I shouldn't have to walk through it.

3 moms found this helpful

i don't think it was wrong, but it's weird a little. he probably didn't think nothing of it. and maybe this makes me a bad parent, but i wouldn't have thought anything of it either. kid probably would've been exposed to very mild 2nd hand smoke for like 15 seconds. not that big of deal, just imo. you're a good mommy though, i just wouldn't have done that or even asked him to move.

3 moms found this helpful

I agree that smoking should not be allowed when it can have a negative health affect of others. But if they were considerate to start, they wouldn't smoke in public. The easiest thing to do is to make a quick path as far away as possible.

Theresa - really, are you that uneducated to the dangers of second-hand smoke?

3 moms found this helpful

Just a whiff or two can set off a headache with a migraine prone person.
But you really can't expect someone who doesn't care about himself to care about you.
I would have waited inside until he was done.

3 moms found this helpful

I never expect people to move for my kids. That's overboard. They'll pass through lots of pollution in their lives. Household cleaners are worse for them. I'm not a smoker, and I don't love breathing smoke (especially what all the trashy people in our town are illegally burning in their yards), but in cases like this I ignore it.
My neighbor smokes and sometimes stands on our porch chatting. The other day, my 3 year old son said, "Steven, why are you not smoking?"

He was right! It was like the first time ever he didn't happen to be smoking.

3 moms found this helpful

I was waiting outside at the the airport, holding my 8 month old for my husband to pull up in the car so we could load. It was super hot outside, not much shade so we were forced to share a little shady spot with a smoker. There were 'no smoking' signs everywhere. So when a sheriff's deputy pedalled by on his bike I said very loudly in front of the smoker, "isn't this a no smoking area (pointing at the sign), I have nowhere I can stand to be out of the smoke". He said, in front of the smoker, well, technically it is but we don't enforce it, and pedalled off. I was quite miffed to say the least. I guess the rights of the smoker where more important than my right to breathe.

3 moms found this helpful

If it were me, I would not have waited. I would have just took the kids back inside and had my huband come around to the front with the car and pick us up. Problem solved.

3 moms found this helpful

I don't like it when people smoke near my kids, but sometimes it can't be controlled. Like others said, the small amount of time they would have been exposed....not a big deal.

Do you eat all organic food? Talk about chemical exposure!

3 moms found this helpful

Honestly, I think it's cigarette smoking is awful. I'm not, nor have I ever been a smoker. I can't stand the smell, and if I ride in a car with someone who smokes, it totally gets to me.

I totally get the mama-bear reaction, but common sense says that your babies will be fine - but outside for a moment is not the end of the world. I lived with 2 smoking parents for the first 10 years of my life, and the rest of my life with a chainsmoking mother. So while my first thought would be "yuck, smoker", I would not ask someone to move while I got my kid out of the car if they were not blocking me, cause that seems rude to me.

2 moms found this helpful

You are right! Non-smokers should not have to be exposed to it! I came out of Walmart the other day and a very pregnant woman and two scary looking guys were standing RIGHT outside the door--all smoking. I went back in and complained to the manager. I doubt anything was done, but I thought you couldn't smoke within so many feet of an establishment. I wanted to say something to the pregnant woman, but I doubt she cares about the damage she's doing to her unborn child. Plus, they were really sketchy looking people!

2 moms found this helpful

Since your husband was with you, why didn't you just move the car to get the kids inside? Especially since you said the other car parked too close to get in? Was the man standing on your side of the car or on the other side of his car? If he was on the other side then he was far enough away. AND he was outside, not like he stood by the door when you walked out. Yes second hand smoke is bad but what about everything else that your kids are breathing in the environment? I did a research paper in school and there is a good percentage of ppl with lung cancer and breathing problems and they never smoked in their life. I grew up in a household were both my parents smoked. I am fine. No breathing problems or anything. Yes you have the right to not want to subject your kids to that, but think about what else they are breathing.

2 moms found this helpful

I haven't read any other responses yet but...I am NOT a smoker and find it gross as well. However, there are rights each of us have. The man has the right to smoke if he so chooses and being by his car is most likely 20 feet from a door or building (these are the new laws enacted in many states). and YES you have a right not to subject yourself or your kids to it...so you wait until he is done before going to your car.

I would never as someone to move like that. He was already there, I would wait.

2 moms found this helpful

I'm extremely sensitive to smoke of any kind and have occasionally made similar requests of people when I couldn't find some other workaround. Some smokers are quite kind about it, some not so much. All you can do is ask.

A few long-terms smokers I've known are extremely resentful of the ways their "rights" have been curtailed in some states. (Don't know if there are any limits in NM.) They simply don't think in terms of other people's rights to breathe safely, possibly because they have convinced themselves cigarettes are not really harmul.

2 moms found this helpful

I'm a former smoker myself and honestly, being around it now makes me sick. However, all the longer it takes to get kids in the car, I wouldn't have said anything. Now, if it was at a public event and he came to sit down beside you after you'd already been there, I would. You actually came along after he'd already been there and was 1/2 way through.

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Chances are he started smoking back in a time when it was ok to smoke. Smoking is very hard to quit. Most of the smokers are either dead already or on their way out. Sorry to be so blunt but its true.
As far as your rights go, he was doing it outside (not illegal) & in a free world.

1 mom found this helpful

He is rude and I agree with you. I do not smoke. He needs to be more considerate. I would have said something back to him if he said something nasty to me. I would have been smart back with him. I would not have yelled but told him that was not necessary. Tell him it is fine if he wants to smoke but he needs to be more considerate to others. You are not wrong for wanting him to move but he needs to understand that everyone does not smoke.That is what I would have told him,

1 mom found this helpful

I HATE smoking with a passion. It's a dirty, horrible, selfish habit. I'm sorry that you were subjected to the nasty smell and dangerous second hand smoke! I definitely don't think you were being unreasonable in asking that he move.

1 mom found this helpful

I think people that smoke should be away from the doors, by a long way.

He was there smoking in the parking lot away from the doors and not bothering anyone. It didn't hurt you to wait a moment until he was finished. I would have just went ahead and got in, asking him to excuse me and could he move a bit so I could open the doors to put the kids in. Non-confrontive and a good reason to ask him to move.

When I had allergy testing on my skin the doc tested 80 substances on my back. The square that he put tobacco in make a blister about 6" across. He finished testing me on my arms for the things I did not test positive for but my allergy to tobacco is off the chart. I would have noticed the man smoking and chosen differently than asking him to move. I would have just got in and left.

I don't know what all is in the air, but I DO know when cigarette smoke is in the air. I generally ask people to move. If the are rude and don't I tell them if they want to breathe in cancer that's fine, but my kids don't have to. They generally move after that. I fit was in issue of being near a car, I would have gone to a different parking spot. Honestly, not many people smoke around here...but, I'm not sure I've ever come across a polite smoker. Anyone I've met has been a jerk about it.

I agree a lot with Shane B. Lots of good points were made.
However, I do get annoyed by what I encounter many times outside of business establishments: the proverbial smoke pit. Yes it's outside, and yes they have the right to smoke outside and yes they are probably on break (although sometimes it just looks like random people loitering, maybe waiting on someone else in the store) etc. But I get annoyed with the business for not doing more to try to get them to smoke somewhere else. I want to come into your store and spend $. I do! But it really turns my stomach to have to walk thru a gauntlet/smoke pit just to get through the front door. Can't you designate an area somewhere else for the employees to hang out and smoke? I know it is difficult to regulate your customers' behavior outside the store--but you DO own the store front/parking lot as well, don't you? Or have a lease on it? Maybe you don't want to alienate the smokers from shopping in your store... but couldn't you at least put a bench somewhere a little ways down the building not RIGHT next to the door, so that the folks might be more inclined to step a few more feet away? So the smoke cloud has a chance to dissipate before it gets to the store entrance? Or maybe post a nice little sign that says "please refrain from smoking within 15 feet of the entrance" or something that isn't TOO offensive? It just really leaves a bad "taste in my mouth" when I have to drag myself and my kids through clouds of smoke to get inside the store.

Sorry for the rant...

I wouldn't think there would be a thing wrong with asking politely "excuse me, can we get past?" if the guy was standing between the vehicles so that you didn't have ingress to your vehicle. But to ask him to step/stand a few paces away while you loaded your kids, JUST because he was smoking (and wasn't blocking you from entering your vehicle) is rather rude. If that is what the situation was, I'm not surprised that he ignored you and didn't move.
I don't LIKE that there are smoke pits outside of stores, and I appeal to the "proper" authority to encourage those folks to smoke elsewhere, but I would never comment directly TO a smoker that I'd like them to move while I go into the store. That would be ridiculous. They have the right to be rude (and make a smoke cloud at the store entrance, unless the store does something about it). I don't have to like it. But I can "lobby" the business to make changes I'd like to see. If the business chooses not to address it, then I have the right to take my $$ elsewhere to spend. But it would be rude of me to directly ask a smoker to "step aside" while I entered the store--- unless they were standing directly in the doorway and there was no room to pass by them. And I see your situation in the same light.

I might be in the minority here, but I think you are just fine to have done what you did. It's your right to do it.

I have been to a few places and the same thing has happened to me. They are parked next to me and lets face is no parking space is very big so you will always be parked too close to someone else. It sucks. So they are too close to my car and they are smoking beside their car door, it makes it very hard to get into your car seeings how you need to open your doors and dont want to hit them, so I have said "I am sorry, do you mind moving for a moment so I can get in? Dont want to hit you or anything"

And sometimes they are nice about it and dont mind because I put a little sugar in my voice, but sometimes people are just down right nasty and its unnecessary. I dont want to hear it, and I sure dont want my kid listening to it. It should be a common courtesy for the person to move if they arent getting into their car and you are trying to, and you ask them really nicely.

I guess what I am trying to say is What should be the problem with asking them to move for a moment so you can get your kids into the car??

I mean seriously if they are just STANDING THERE then why cant they go STAND somewhere else??? Its awesome that you are outside because there are plenty of other places for you to go stand to smoke your cigarette and its not by me and my small children.

I think people are going to far when they say that you went overboard. I think you did what was right for you and your family and so what, what is wrong with that? That is your choice and your right and no one has a right to tell you that you overreacted.

And I think that people are going overboard with saying that its his right to stand there. Hes not getting into his car the least he could do is be a nice guy and move to the other side of his car or anywhere else so that you could get into your car and leave. Plain and simple.

Its like when you are loading your car and someone is trying to park next to you and your doors are open on the side they are trying to park, you be a good person and try to move to the other side of the car or at least close the doors just long enough for them to park and get out. Its a courtesy that I show when I come across the situation. Would it have really killed the guy to move for a minute? NO.

I just think people just forget their manners!

I thought Grandma T had a great response. I hate cigarette smoke especially since I have asthma, however in that situation I would have probably just put them in car quickly and not said anything. We are exposed to far worse on a daily basis that we don't even know about, so a few puffs of smoke isn't going to cause long term damage. I see your point though. Now if he didn't bother to blow the smoke in a different direction or into the faces of your children, I would probably have said something. I miss living in California as you pretty much only smoke in your own house.

I think smoking is beyond disgusting, and anyone under the age of 50 knew it was wrong to start, so I don't understand it. However, it is definitely their right. I think it is rude to smoke around other people, right near cars, right at the entrances, etc. I do think that man was extremely rude though. A lot of smokers are courteous, but he was not and I'd have flipped out on him.

I hate it when there is a smoker near my baby when I'm going in and out of public places, however, I usually just hurry and get away as fast as I can. Unless you want to get into an altercation with a smoker, I would let it go when you encounter one. The courteous ones will move away and the rest are more likely to behave like the one you described today.