Problem Child in My Son's Kindergarden Class

It's all in how you approach. Teachers can understandably feel defensive when often parents barrell in with demands about how the class should be run (not that you did this necessarily but it does happen). If you have genuine concern for your son's safety or educational experience and the teacher is not able to field your concern, go up the ladder and request a meeting with the principal. Approach the principal with respect for the fact that THEY are the educational experts and you simply have concern for the well being of your own son. Don't make it about the other boy. Make it about your son and be open to having your son moved to another class. And when approaching teachers, I find and advise parents whom I provide coaching that you always acknowledge that SHE/HE is the educational expert and invite their advice and wisdom to address your concern - If you approach the teacher with respect for her/his years of experience working with children and ask for her/his help, your more likely to get a cooperative and supportive response. Good luck with it! Let us know how it goes!

Seperating this child from his peers doesn't sound like the answer, it will only take away from his opportunity to learn and grow. Not all children rush into kindergarten and mesh immediately. It's great that the majority of kids do mesh, but young children act out physically when frustrated or scared. While I don't support children hitting or tackling I think taking your concerns to the pricipal to 'mark' this child as a troublemaker when school hasn't been in session that long, the teacher told you she was addressing it and it is the first school setting the child may have been a part of makes me think give this poor 5 year old a chance.

If he does come from a broken home or abusive home he already has enough strikes against him, he doesn't need other parents targeting him too.

I would create an opportunity out of this situation for your child to learn not all people have the same loving home, or loving parents you seem to be but treating others equally is a great lesson to teach at any age.

Maybe instead of alienating this child your son could learn a lot from befriending him and showing him some one does care about him.

Being the parent of a child with Epilepsy and my 6 year old daughter being on anti-convulsant medication (which this particular one has made her have extremely aggressive behavior), I beg you to give the child a chance and maybe approach the teacher (or parent) again if you continue to have problems. When I meet other parents and/or children that tell me my daughter is being mean, I try to explain that she is currently on Epilepsy meds that make her this way, but she is being weaned off. However, it takes 10 weeks to wean off, so if they can just be patient, this really isn't her temperament and to give her a chance and she will get better. Teachers are not allowed to disclose this info due to privacy issues, but as a parent I have no problems sharing this information with others.

This may not be this child's problem, but try to have an open mind and like some of the other Mom's here said, this child may need more time to adjust, or maybe this child, like mine, truly cannot help it at this time.

D.,

I understand how you feel as a mother but I think you should look at the flip side for just a minute. Many good points have been brought up in previous messages and I hope you will give them some thought. The child is 5 years old. Give him a chance before you label him a "bad child". My own son has Sensory Integration Disorder and it sounds exactly like what you are describing. Once this child settles in to school and gets in a routine, hopefully he'll calm down and go with the flow. I hope you never have to endure the pain of realizing that your child is different than other children. If you approach this now it's just one more strike against a child who may not be able to help it. The teacher says she is addressing it. She knows that some children take longer to adjust than others. Trust her experience and knowledge as a teacher and let her discipline her own classroom. It's only been a month of kindergarten. There will be many challenges along the way with your child so I would say pick your battles. If your child is in danger, then discuss it with your teacher. I would avoid taking it to the principal until you feel all measures have been exhausted with his primary teacher. It's going to be a long year if you label a 5 year old a "bad boy" and the teacher labels you one of "THOSE" moms. I hope I'm not being too harsh but from my own personal experience with my own children, IMO this is the best route. I have now been on both sides as a Mom so I see the difference. Good luck.

Your child has the right to be in a safe environment regardless of others disorders. No child should go to school and worry about being hit, kicked, or slapped. I understand we do not live in a perfect world but safety first. Go to the principle if necessary maybe there are other solutions than removing the child from the classroom like putting in a teacher's aid for extra assistance.

I agree with Lara, go and talk to the principal. Don't wait. If the child is disruptive now what will happen in a few years if it is not stopped now.

If I were you, I would address this problem to the schools principal, since the teacher seems to not do much when you try to talk to her about the issue. I'm sure there are other parents that have children in the classroom that feel the same way, so it maybe a good idea to talk to them and get their opinions also..and if your brave enough (which I probably wouldn't be lol) you could even try talking to the problems childs parents. Hope things work out for you... Good Luck! T.

I agree with some of the other responses, I don't feel like this child should be taken from the classroom. If it were your 5 year old, would you still feel the same way? This child needs to be in a loving, caring enviroment and taking him from the class does not teach him to change his behavior. If your car starts acting up, do you just throwit away? No, you keep working on it until you figure out whats wrong. Comparing a child to a car is not a very good example, but I believe you get the point. I don't want to be rude, but this is your first child to enter the school system, give it time...No one is perfect, and some do need extra guidance but we shouldnt look them over just because they do have behavioral problems, instead of trying to ease your mind of guilt for the way you feel, and trying to get other readers sympathy, I suggest maybe reaching out a helping hand to this child and see if there is anything you can do to help...example: volunteering in the classroom so the teacher would have an extra hand. I am sorry if I have come across as rude or arrogant, that is not my intentions, I just have worked in a daycare when I was younger and too many times I have seen teachers and parents look down their noses on a child that they didnt want to deal with because they did require extra attention so they either kicked them out of daycare or requested the child be put on Attention deficient disorder medication when all the child really needed was love, affection, and some extra attention.

I think that maybe what I would do is go straight to the principal of the school. If going to the principal doesn't work, call the Board of Education and tell them the story. Voice your opinion and remember, the wheel that squeaks the loudest, gets the oil!

I can understand your concerns, I have delt with a similar issue. We talked to our 5 year old about why his classmate was acting the way that he was. Come to find out that he didn't have any friends (per my 5 year old son), which made him an angry child. After my son and I talked about why,my son decided (although the child could be very mean) we wanted to invite in over to play. My 5 year old felt that if he was his friend that he wouldn't be so mean, he could help him around others. So far, it is working out just great! It's amazing how well a negative situation can turn around with a positive attitude. I learned that from my son! Good luck.

I am not sure what the SC guidelines are, but in TN, children are mainstreamed into the everyday classroom unless there are MAJOR learning problems (Severely mentally retarded, severely autistic, etc). I know this b/c I am a daughter of a 2 1/2 year old and an elementary school teacher. In my class I have seen all kinds of students, (mildly mentally retarted, OCD, austic, Severely ADD/ADHD, turets (SP?), ODD...you name it and I have probably seen it or had it). This is true because your child is attending a public school. Unless there are like I said MAJOR problems, you will run into this for your sons entire 13 years in public school. It is unfortunate for the child that he not getting any support for his extreme home life...they should make you take a parenting class before the allow epidurals!

I am guessing of course, but the teacher's reaction is that because 1. she can not share any information about any child with anyone except their parents and/or 2. the teacher has had kids like that before and knows that she can only help as long as he is at school. Unfortunatly, we as teachers cannot go home with the kids to help parent them...boy there have been times that I wish that I could!

Please try to be patient with this poor child. Express your concerns with the teacher and with your son. Maybe your son could end up being a great role model and friend to this boy.

Be patient and understanding, if you can.

Hope that helps!
M.

If you are not gaining ground addressing your concerns with your son's teacher maybe they should be addressed with the principal. At the very least if the child is hitting and kicking your child you can establish a permanent record of it in the childs school records. The more that is put into the permanent record the more the principal will be forced to address your concerns. Also, the principal may not even be aware of the problems if the teacher has not addressed them.