Preventing Pregnancy

Updated on January 23, 2012
B.D. asks from Olathe, KS
21 answers

Oh ladies, I am at my wits end about this subject. I am afraid to do birth control. I have 4 kids (right in a row) and I want to wait a while before we consider more. I like the mirena option but i am uncomfortable with the idea of the plastic in my uterus. I am not capable of taking a pill at the same time everyday, I have tried and just can't. I weight too much to consider the patch and the nuva ring wasnt' recommended by my midwife. I have heard that the shot has serious side effects. As far as the natural family planning method goes, I have never ever had a regular cycle. So I am asking for your advice, opinions and experiences. Maybe hearing from you I'll be able to better make a decision. Thanks again for all your help and time.

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So What Happened?

I truly appreciate all the comments. I have discussed the issue with my midwife (she takes care of all my womanly health). As far as taking the pill at the same time everyday I have done tried the toothbrush thing but with 4 kids I really don't get to it at the same time every day but I could try harder as some suggested. I had never thought of sponges so I'll look into that and frankly as far as condoms go we just don't like them, but once again I supposed I can't complain if I am just not willing to try something.

Featured Answers

K.L.

answers from Medford on

If one of those 4 children needed life saving medication everyday, would you forget? Try thinking about it as very serious and life saving and take the pill everyday. If its important enough to you, youll find a way to remember.

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J.B.

answers from Atlanta on

If you really think you're not done after 4 kids, I would get an IUD. Husbands with vasectomies are truly awesome though!

5 moms found this helpful

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P.K.

answers from New York on

If you do not make a decision, those babies are going to just keep coming
and coming.

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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

It sounds like you are left with condom and spermicide. Have you tried keeping your pill pack with your toothbrush? I would suspect you don't forget to brush. And the same time each day - ideal but that doesn't mean if you sleep in on the weekends you will get pregnant.

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K.B.

answers from Detroit on

If you can remember to brush your teeth or take a shower every day, or a prenatal vitamin, you can remember to take a birth control pill every day. Either that, or hubby has to wear a condom each and every time. But even condoms can fail. You can also discuss your options with your ob-gyn doctor.

4 moms found this helpful
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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

I get pregnant if I even THINK about sex. Well, not really, but durn close.

I can't take hormones (pills, patches, rings, mirenaIUD), because they trigger cancer... and I've gotten pregnant THROUGH birth control pills more than once, and my cycle is far to irregular to have NFP = anything other than "mother".

My options:

- Paragard IUD (copper instead of hormones)
- Condoms + Spermacide (I got pregnant on condoms, spermacide, & the pill)
- Diaphragm + Spermacide (none fit me)
- Cervical Cap (ditto)

What I have/use is Paragard. Love, love, love it. ((There are only 2 camps with Paragard; love or hate)). Same failure rate as a tubal ligation, but doesn't affect fertility at all (aka you can get pregnant the same month you take it out), lasts for 10 years, is effective on antibiotics, no hormonal side effects (good or bad). Mirena is TOTALLY different from Paragard except for shape and placement (It's base is hormones instead of copper, it isn't effective day of insertion, you have to wait a month/ use backup, isn't effective on antibiotics/ have to use backup for a month, is only good for 5 years, has hormonal side effects -good or bad-, has longer strings). The only downside with Paragard is losing any good effects from hormones (like your period reverting to normal, instead of lighter), and the first couple periods on it are super crampy.

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B.B.

answers from New York on

You can use condoms. No offense, but how do you raise 4 children properly if you can't take a pill "around" the same time everyday?

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L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

You don't mention at all whether you have discussed this with your ob/gyn, only your midwife. You say you "heard" the shot has side effects, you weigh too much for the patch, etc. -- did a doctor tell you those things or are they from internet research, friends, etc.? If the latter -- ask a doctor instead. Talk to an ob/gyn, who may be aware of options, or combinations of options, you or a midwife may not know about. As for not being able to take a pill at the same time every day -- why not? As someone else posted, if it really matters, you can do it. Same goes for options like Mirena -- you may not like the idea of "plastic in your uterus" as you put it, but do you like the idea of an unplanned pregnancy any better? It sounds almost as if you are talking yourself out of every available option -- you have come up with reasons why pretty much everything won't work. Think hard about how much you DON'T want a child at this time and talk to your doctor immediately.

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I.G.

answers from Seattle on

Well you will just have to "woman up" and make a decision about it. While abstinence as suggested is 100% safe, I don't think anyone could honestly suggest this to a married couple.
So you will need to find something else. It all depends on how badly you want to prevent pregnancy. If you could live with an unintended 5th pregnancy NFP, condoms or even taking the pill somewhat reliably may be an option.
If you really cannot afford another child right now, I personally would look for something more reliable. You know the pros and cons you just have to be the responsible adult that you are and decide what side effects you are willing to tolerate.
After I had DD I got a Mirena, I know it's not for everyone, but I love it! For me the mild side effects are WAY better than aborting an unwanted pregnancy, because I would NOT have another child right now.

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R.M.

answers from Cumberland on

OOO-I know the answer to this! Don't have sex-it is a 100% effective method of birth control!

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

Set an alarm on your cell phone to take the pill, or put the pills in a place that you go to every day and where you can see them sitting out. Otherwise, vasectomy or condoms.

2 moms found this helpful
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R.C.

answers from Phoenix on

Talk to your midwife about a diaphragm with spermicide or a cervical cap. I've had 1 unplanned pregnancy using a condom without spermicide, but have not yet conceived using the diaphragm with spermicide. I've used a diaphragm for over 10 years. You must use the diaphragm EVERY act of intercourse and use it correctly every time. It has no hormonal side effects and cost about $50 plus cost of Gynol II spermicide (about $15 a tube). If that doesn't suit you, I guess you are left with condoms with spermicide (which increases effectiveness significantly) or something more permanent.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

If you cannot set the alarm on your cell phone or send yourself a reminder from yahoo.com calendars to take a pill then you have a few options.

The nuva rind may not have been recommended by your care giver but perhaps they just don't like it for some reason. It is wonderful. It can even be taken out for a while if it is uncomfortable during intercourse but most of the time he won't even know it's there.

It has minimal side effects since it is not an internal med.

The other choice is condoms but they break, have holes, all kinds of issues.

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A.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

You can still plan and track your cycle even if you do not feel is completely regular. There are physical changes in your body that can alert you to your most fertile days/weeks. Your midwife should be able to help you figure out the proper tracking schedule. Once you get a couple months down, they have phone apps to help alert you when its a risky time. Other than that, the copper IUD is recommended if you have one sexual partner because the low risk of infection.

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M.P.

answers from Portland on

As with all difficult decisions, make a decision and try it out. If that first one doesn't work try a different one. I suggest that you talk this out with your midwife discussing your anxiety about your choices. Perhaps she can help you come to terms with your fears and thus allow you to choose in spite of them.

For example, the mirena does have plastic in your uterus. Why does that make you uncomfortable? Why did she not recommend the nuva ring?

I suggest you make a list of what you expect from your birth control. Do you want to not have to think about using it when you need it? How important is it to not have an oops? Here is a site that could help you sort the methods out. http://www.plannedparenthood.org/all-access/my-method-265...

1 mom found this helpful

L._.

answers from San Diego on

I am one of those persons that gets pregnant really easy. But we only got pregnant when I didn't use any birth control. For over 20 years I used either the sponges or the spermicide. They took the sponges off the market for quite awhile. When they put them back on the market, I went back to them.

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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

Condoms, baby. I had to go off of the pill due to rage issues, and I refuse to use anything like a mirena, so we use condoms and haven't had any problems.

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J.P.

answers from Chicago on

I've had the Paraguard IUD for about 3 years now and I love it. Hormone free, and I don't even know it's there.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

Do you need a regular cycle for NFP?

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L.H.

answers from Detroit on

Wow! Some of these moms on here are vicious! Anyway, I completely understand where you are coming from. I unfortunately have had two iud's that have failed ( which is a very low percentage but I was part of that) so that is not an option for me and I can not take the pill due to major side effects I have. Right now we are using condoms but we just had a baby so this won't last long! I did have the paragaurd ( except my body wouldn't except it) and for the record, I loved it! It is hormone free and great. I would look into it. If you find any other options, let me know! I am still searching.....

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H.J.

answers from Minneapolis on

I just want t chime in and say you do not have to have a regular cycle to do fertility awareness method. Read the book taking charge of your fertility. You will learn a lot from it...the best thing it ever did for me was help me know when I will get my period. I have the most irregular cycle I have ever heard of but...the day my temperature drops by almost a whole degree in the morning my period comes that DAY oh it is so wonderful to not spend weeks worrying when it will comes!

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