Preschool Discipline Question

You are absolutely right. Disipline should have been given on the spot. Children don't have memories that long and therefore, the discipline isn't going to be related to the "crime" Speak to the director of the school. Sounds like the teacher needs some instruction!

You are absolutely right! Discipline should be immediate, children at that age will not understand the connection between the act and the punishment with a two day delay. It seems the punishment was more retribution from the teacher than actually disciplining your child. If it happens again I would speak to the teacher.

A., I completely agree with you. At your daughter's age the job at the preschool is to allow them to learn how to act by having direct rewards and consequences. What they did to her was in my opinion, nothing short of bullying. She should have been given the chance to demonstrate that she is learning the lesson of making transitions, and following direction. At the age of 3 this type of thing takes practice for her, and lapses will happen. Please express your concerns calmly and rationally to the staff, and tell them you expect that the delayed consequences type of discipline not be used. I'd be interested to know what happens with this. And enjoy your mothers' day!

I am a mom & a teacher...and I am soooo with everyone on this. She should have been punished right OT days later. If they felt they HAD to make a point. She should have gone outside and sat there for 3 minutes and then reminded that she has to come off the equipment when called. That's it. I would have been beyond angry that my child was crying like that. I am sick just reading about this. Call and speak to them ASAP!!! Tell us what happened.

I think that type of punishment is unacceptable. Your way is better. Also, playground time is social skills time and taking it away should never be used as punishment. Discuss it with the school. Search the internet and take in some documentation to show them, rather than just going in arguing. I know there is material written on this out there.

Hi A.

It doesn't sound right or fair to punish you daughter for something she did 2 days before. The type of punishment sounds too harsh also. Punishment for bad behavior should had been done on the spot. I suggest you have a serious talk with the teacher about it and let her know how she should discipline your child.

A., your daughter is 2 and if the teachers can't handle that maybe this is not a rright place for your daughter. I am a teacher and also a mother of a 2 and half year old who is in preschool. The longest your child should be put in time out is 3-4 minutes and immeditately, not a few days later. I think you should meet with the teachers and hear their theory behind this madness. If your instinct says to remove her, DO IT!!! GOod luck!

I would be UPSET too! Every single PARENTING book + magazine that I've ever read about "punishing" in says that you should do it immediately after they acted out the bad behavior - like within the HOUR so they know what they are being punished FOR.

No wonder why your child was so upset - she probably didn't make the connection that she was being punished for something that happened 2 days ago!

I would definitely sit down w/ those teachers and explain why you think that is wrong of them to have done.

Best, D.

OH MY GOODNESS that is not only not age appropriate but holds no teaching value for your child. Do you know what the disipline policy is for the school you are sending your child to? If you are the mom in waiting the teacher was requesting your child leave the playgroud? or were you instructing your child it was time to go? What I as a Director of a preschool would have done is ask mom if she wanted to control the situation( because of the bribe offered) And then if you wanted me to direct the child the rules would be reminded and the choice would be given.... Mom is telling you it is time to go. When your at my school you listen to mom or you will not be able to play here the next day. If you explain the rules of making good choices that is usualy all the child needs. For the age of your child the playground being taken away is inappropriate. First and then should have been used.
First you go home with mom and be a good listener and then you will be first on the slide tomarrow. If your child is showing you behaviour that is out of the norm and being a cryer maybe the problem is the school. Does she have the language she needs to express what she wants/needs or does her emotion take over. there could be many underlying things that need to be addressed. What did you say to the school when they gave you your child in tears??

I am a teacher in a day care center and you are correct she should have been punished on the spot however if you said they go on the playground the last 15 minutes of the day than it was impossible to punish her that day. However the teacher should have enforced this punishment the following day and explained to her why she was being punished. She should not have spent the whole time on the bench as we do at my center just about 2-5 minutes and then she would be told again why she was punished and then would be asked is she ready to behave. You as well should explain to her that she needs to listen to her teachers as well as her parents and explain to her that she will not be able to play if she does not. I do believe that she should have still went outside just not played if it was her first incident. Good luck

Absolutely not! I'd be on the phone with the director of the preschool immediately. Reading your post sends up all kinds of red flags with me. I'd start to question a lot more. It doesn't make me feel good. Good luck!!

If you disagree with their method (like I certainly do) and that is what they are sticking to, you must find another preschool ASAP. It can be very wearing on a young child's self-esteem to be shunned in such a way.

Get her out of there - fast!

Wow, A. I am appalled at what your daughter's day care did. I don't have any experience with pre-school. As a matter of fact I am just starting to look into pre-school for my 2 and a half year old daughter and this frightens me. Punishing a child this age 2 days later is futile and mean. It seems like someone in childcare would be aware of this. Can you tell me which school it is if it's in the Point Pleasant area? Good luck with whatever you decide to do. You have EVERY right to be upset!!

No, I don't think she should have been disciplined 2 days later. The teacher should have done something right then and there!!! A 3 year old cannot remember what she did or that it was wrong 2 days later

I agree with you,,I would talk to the teacher,,A three year old doesn't remember or relate to an incident that happened the day before,,the reprimanding should have been done immediately

You know what - I think that you have every right to say something to the people who work at the preschool. IT really doesn't make sense if they don't discipline right then and there. Good luck!

Jenn Smith
http://jennsmith.stayinhomeandlovinit.com
http://www.cbc.ca/MRL/clips/rm-lo/mesley_cleaner030311.rm

As a mother of a 2 year old, and a Kindergarten teacher, I think what they did is rediculous! First of all, you don't "punish" a child days later for something they've done. Second of all, did she really do anything THAT bad? She's 2 years old, or course she wants to be on the playgroud! I think not letting her outside was totally inappropriate, especially since I'm sure she had NO CLUE as to why, or what she'd done wrong.

I'd talk to these teachers about this....

-J.

I think you are absolutley correct. I do not believe they should have punished her. My pediatrician gave me advice about punishment. He told me to use the time out method, but not to over do it. If they (the child) does something that you don't like but can live with it then let it go, but if they hit or bite or pinch, then that defintely warrents a time out. What child would'nt be upset when your taking them away from something they enjoy. She's only three. What do they expect? I would talk to them about that.

I personally would say something to the school because that is not right. Three days later children that age don't know what they are being punished for no matter how you try to explain it to them. You have a right to be upset and I'm sure it broke your heart to see your daughter like that. (It made me feel bad just reading it!) But I would definitely say something to the teacher and principal of the school.

I would have a problem with anyone sitting there and letting my daughter cry for 15 minutes straight. She is not going to understand why she is being punished becuase like you said, she is always punished right after she misbehaves. I would confront this teacher - if you do not feel comfortable doing that, than confront the principal - don't let her think this is something that you will allow going forward.

Let us know what happens. Good luck!

I do not think she should have been kept in. I have a 3 year old and I know she wouldnt remember what she was punished for 2 days ago. You handled the situation that day when she was not able to get her stickers. The punishment should have ended there. The teacher should not have kept her in.

your right about that the teacher should have punished her at the time that the incident occured she's only 3 she is not going to remember something she did 2 days ago.

Hi A., Always trust your gut feelings. You know what is right for your child. At 3 years old a childs attention span is very short therefore you are right. She would not comprehend the punnishment for the act 3 days prior. This is why when we give time out for misbehavior , It's 1 minute per age along with a clear explanation of why there is a time out and making sure they understand why they are in time out.
if I were you I would speak to an Administrator and if you are not satisfied there is always someone above them.
Hope this helps.

J.
Mia Bella's Gourmet Candles
Independent Distrbutor

I would be ticked off if this happened to me. she should not have been punished days later..and since you were there when she didnt want to leave the playground, it is now your issue and not the teachers. Did anyone ask her why she didnt want to leave? Have the teacher call you the next time she is going to be "punished" and maybe this wont happen again

Hi A.,
I am the mom of a 2.5 year old girl and I agree with you completely. My daughter is reprimanded on the spot, not 2 days later. Your daughter is too small to remember what happened 2 days prior. I would speak with her teacher as well as the school administrator/director. I would be equally upset.