20 answers

Preschool B-day Party Etiquette

Hi Moms -
My son started preschool this week; on day three, we received a b-day party invitation in his cubby from a classmate that we only met this week. All the kids received one; part of the "if you're going to invite one using the cubbies, you invite all" rule (if you only want to invite certain kids, you need to do so outside of the school). What is the etiquette for RSVPing in these cases? Should we assume that the invite is sincere and attend? Or is there an unspoken rule that you don't attend the parties for the kids who you don't really know? PS - he tends to play with the other boys in class, not the girls, and the invite was from a girl, so I don't think they're going to become fast friends before her party.

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Thanks, everyone. I guess my question was not completely clear - of course we will RSVP, my question was more about the etiquette of our response: that we're coming, or that we're not. Folks make good points in favor of going, and I think we will do so. Thanks again!

Featured Answers

I try to make all the parties especially at this age. It's a great way to get to know the other parents, let's the kids have a chance to play together outside of school, etc
Whatever you decide please RSVP either way it's rude not to.

5 moms found this helpful

Oh definitely RSVP and go. Its a great way for the kids to connect at this age. Its not appropriate to only invite a few and leave a pre schooler out. That would not be cool.

3 moms found this helpful

More Answers

By thinking you must already know the people well to attend always hurts those poor kids with birthdays at the beginning of the school year, since they have not yet had the time to get to know each other. Here is my experience. My son's b-day is in Sept. His first year of pre-school he was so excited to be in school and have classmates to invite. When only 2 showed up on his special day he was devastated. I tired to make the best of it, and I thought it went ok until the next year when I asked him what he would like to do for his party, and he said "I don't want a party, no one will come anyways". I always make an effort to attend every party my kids get invited to, because when people don't show up it is the kid who gets hurt.

11 moms found this helpful

I would RSVP either way, yes or no. I just hosted a b-day party for my daughter and invited preschool classmates (yes, all of them!) as well as kids in the neighborhood and it was kinda annoying when I didn't get a reply. Of course I would think the invitation is sincere and whether you want to go or not is totally up to you. They don't have to be "besties" beforehand but he will probably have fun playing with some of the other kids there. Some of the kids invited to DD's party we didn't know really well either but now some we do! It really helped break the ice and DD has at least one new good friend out of it that she didn't have before!

6 moms found this helpful

I try to make all the parties especially at this age. It's a great way to get to know the other parents, let's the kids have a chance to play together outside of school, etc
Whatever you decide please RSVP either way it's rude not to.

5 moms found this helpful

It is ok to attend or not but you should always RSVP.

4 moms found this helpful

I think it is the most wonderful opportunity to make friends with people you are going to be interacting with for years to come. Just because the kids don't know each other well yet doesn't mean they won't be best of friends by next week.

I'd say go. During our preschool years there was one nearly every month, once there were 3 on one day. That was fun. One was roller skating, one was at Burger King and one was at their house.

4 moms found this helpful

For me personally i make it a point to attend my daughter's classmate parties. Whether they are good friends or not these are the kids that she sees on a regular basis and has interaction with all of them. We dont have alot of invites in prek, but the ones that we get we attend. Thats just me :)

4 moms found this helpful

Your son received an invitation and it is helpful to the host to know the amount of guests so they can provide the appropriate amount of food/beverages/goodie bags/etc so yes, RSVP. Kids love parties so I wouldn't worry about the "gender" at this age. The invitation is sincere and I bet your guy has a great time!

4 moms found this helpful

Oh definitely RSVP and go. Its a great way for the kids to connect at this age. Its not appropriate to only invite a few and leave a pre schooler out. That would not be cool.

3 moms found this helpful

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