Preschool and Not Potty Trained

Updated on May 27, 2009
P.O. asks from Antioch, TN
12 answers

In florida, does anyone know if schools will accept preschoolers who are not potty trained. My son is 3 now but will be 4 in November, but he still refuses to use the potty for bowel movements. I think it is a mental issue with him, maybe fear of some sort, because he knows when to do it, what to do, but just doesn't do it and I am believing it is more than rebellion at this point. We have tried all we can and even posted here for ideas. I am not sure what my options are now, since I really would like to focus on our 3 month old.

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T.M.

answers from Panama City on

It sounds like you have tried it all. Just wondering if you have tried not putting any underwear, diapers, or anything on him right after he eats until he goes to the potty? Would he go in the floor, or what would he do if you did that? I've been a professional nanny for many families and I have seen families do this with children who just would not go to the potty for bowel movements and it worked. They don't like it, but when they have to go, they go to the potty because they don't have a diaper to go in.

All the best to you!
T.

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D.W.

answers from Gainesville on

He won't be eligible for VPK if that's what you are interested in for him. The cut-off date for birthday is September 1 and they wouldn't be able to take him unless he is potty trained. They do understand that some accidents happen though but they consistently need to be trained for school. But there are some daycares that might be able to take him but it wouldn't be free like VPK.

My son was well over 3 before he was fully trained for #2. The two things that pushed him over the edge was bare bottom around the house and a "treasure box" filled with dollar store goodies that he could pick one every time he was successful at #2 on the potty. It also helped that he didn't see the goodies until he was successful and got to look in the box for his first prize.

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B.B.

answers from Fort Walton Beach on

I don't think so unless there is a true diagnosis from a doctor. Sorry! Good luck!

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P.E.

answers from Panama City on

must be 5 to start kindergarden untrained kids are taken in in Exceptiona; Eucation . Call your county school baoarx

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J.J.

answers from Orlando on

They have to be potty trained to start pre-k, but also he has another year. He has to be four by September 1 to start in the fall, so he will miss the cutoff. You have plenty of time to get him totoally trained before he starts school.

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A.E.

answers from Melbourne on

Dear P. O,

I believe they have to be potty trained for #1 and #2. Most school teachers are not allowed to help the children in the bathroom to protect themselves from being accused of inappropriate touching. I was also worried about this when my son went to preschool. My advise is not to rush him, it was the same with my son he felt my anxiety. Besides when my son went to preschool the children in his class were 5 going on 6 years of age. They do have programs for younger children in some places but you have to pay. Your son will be ready when it's time for him to start preschool. He can't start until next year right?

S.F.

answers from Boca Raton on

My kids went to a wondeful preschool in Boca called Seedlings. It's for 3 to 6 yr olds. Didn't have to be potty trained. Wore pullups. Amazing program. Run by S. Caruso of The sunshine Project. Highly recommmend it. On St. Andrews & Glades, behind the Universal Unitarian Church (not part of church, just utilizes the space.)
S.

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T.M.

answers from Panama City on

It sounds like you have tried it all. Just wondering if you have tried not putting any underwear, diapers, or anything on him right after he eats until he goes to the potty? Would he go in the floor, or what would he do if you did that? I've been a professional nanny for many families and I have seen families do this with children who just would not go to the potty for bowel movements and it worked. They don't like it, but when they have to go, they go to the potty because they don't have a diaper to go in.

All the best to you!
T.

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S.W.

answers from Miami on

first, check with the preschool, even ask for their advice on what works. It depends on his personality.
My first was excited by the reward system, the second just wanted the treat; but couldn't care less about the potty; my third, well, came along 6 years later and I let the two older boys take over. He was in underwear in no time. Of course, he wanted to be like them!
And what about dad? He can show his son how to pee, how to sit down. Why didn't I think of this earlier?
He'll eventually get it. Try to be cool about it. I know the stress. Remember, we're not perfect; but we do the best we can...
Blessings

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J.M.

answers from Ocala on

Daer P.,
In my area of Florida, Ocala, you have to be potty trained. Perhaps if you sat and talked with your child about potty training, especially the bowel movement, you may have some success. Try locating a book from the library to share with him. Also, he may feel that the 3 month old is gaining more of your attention thah he, so try to to focus on him a little more. I do know that after consuming meals, children tend to have bowel movements. With that in mind, attempt to have him near the bathroom with you and maybe try the book sharing during that time. Take heed as to what times of the day he soils his clothes and try to have him on the potty around that time. Hope this helps.

About me;
I am a native of Maryland, a mother whose children are all adults now and I reside in Florida. I am a former specialist for "The Head Start Program".I am a retired educator, supervisor of student teachers, staff developer for literacy, musician and a wife. Hope these help.

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S.S.

answers from Daytona Beach on

it really depends on the daycare. the better quality ones will not except children who are not potty trained bc it is a germ issue. the teachers in the older childrens rooms do not provide adequate space or setups for changing a child. my nephew however had the same problem. he was over 4 when he finally started to poop in the potty, however he was able to hold it while he went to vpk for the few hours that he was there. if your son is able to control his BMs then i don't see where you would even have to let the school know about it. if he is unable to control it, then no they won't take him.

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L.H.

answers from Melbourne on

My son was not potty trained until shortly after his 3rd birthday. I gently pushed the issue before then but he was completely against it. I finally gave up and he did it completely on his own. So I would suggest to back off for a while. His school wants the children to be potty trained by 3 but realize every child is different so they work with the children. It doesn't take long for a child to see what his peers are doing and want to fit in. Can he go into some kind of summer program for a few hours a day? This may help. I would not worry, you have some time! He also needs some time to adjust to a new sibling. This may also be affecting him!

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T.F.

answers from Orlando on

It's only May now so if you're talking about next school year, it's 3 months away and you never know what might happen before then. Call and visit a few of the schools you are interested in and get a feel for how they feel about it. There is a difference between "not potty trained" and having issues with BM on the potty. LOTS of so-called "potty trained" kids have BM issues for several years. Does he wear pull-ups or underwear? As long as he is in underwear, you can certainly let the preschool know he is potty trained but reluctant with BMs. They will work with him, and the peer pressure of the other kids doing it may help once he's in school. I know when I taught preschool a hundred years ago, any child who had a poop accicent had to assist in cleaning it up (pulling down their undies, dumping the poop in the toilet, putting it in a bag the teacher would hold open for him, and helping to wipe it off of himself and/or the floor if a big mess was made.) That often helped them reconsider if it would maybe be easier to just sit on the potty and all that they'd need to clean was a couple of wipes to the butt!! Also, I have been visiting preschools-- one said the child had to be 100% able to do everything themselves in the 3 year old room which I thought was ridiculous-- at that age they still may need help wiping and pulling their pants back up. The school I am considering for my son next year specifically said they still help them in the bathroom if needed. You said "In Florida..."in your question. There is no official rule for the state-- it's individual by center/school.

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