I own and operate a preschool and I would like to give you a little insight on how my program works and most programs that I know to maybe give you some inside perspective. First, after 12 months we do not give daily written reports to any children, however we do have an open communication policy. My policy is not to have parents approach teachers while they are busy with a class,at pick up time or drop off time, or daily for that matter. If a parent has concerns they can call during rest time and speak with teachers directly so they can have their undivided attention. Second, no child has a perfect day everyday, this is why I do not agree with daily reports. Your child is three, he is learning the rules, that is why he is in preschool correct. You said yourself he has been home with you and dad, so learning to get along with his peers is a process and it takes time for him to develop his social skills. So he is going to test the boundaries, make mistakes, and hopefully learn from them. As far as written communication. I do a weekly newsletter to parents. It keeps them updated on what our theme of the week is and any upcoming events. I provide a written menu with breakfast snack, how lunch, and afternoon snack so parents know in advance what I am serving. We also do written evaluations twice a year along with a personal conference if needed. I also have e-mails for my staff as well as my own to communicate with parents. I find it so much more effective then notes sent home. Half the parents do not read what I send home. Snacks, we do have cupcakes for parties, and cookies sometimes as well. If you want all healthy snacks for your child ask if you can provide you own daily. Third, why would it be necessary for you to have a list of songs for the Christmas show so you can practice at home? He is already practicing at school, and I am sure that is the last thing he wants when he gets home is to have to do it again. Also, the best part of watching preschoolers in any type of program is when you get the unexpected from them. Perfection at three is not necessary. As far as the teacher reporting to you in front of your child I find that to be the most effective, this way the child knows his behavior is going to be reported to mom, it's not just assumed. Children are visual they need to know that what you say is going to happen, however I would do it in private and in my office, as I said with time put aside. Pick up time and drop off time are not times for conferences, staff taking their eyes off children to talk to parents is not safe. My biggest question to you is how can a 3 year old underperform? They are supposed to be there to have fun, learn to share, learn the rules, and how to follow directions. I say let him be and when something serious needs to be addressed I am sure you will be told. If I looked each day for something a child did wrong I would certainly find one, so unless it is major (hitting, biting, using bad language etc.) normal misbehavior is all learning to me. I do think you just need to relax, love him, teach him to have your values, morals, etc as you sound like you are doing. As far as monitoring his experiences everyday it may cast a shadow on him and make him insecure in school. He needs to learn how to socialize his own way, and not be constantly monitored. There are days he isn't going to sit in circle like an angel, he may not share, he may push, leave it up to his teachers to address, and guide him. If you do not trust them with your child then I suggest you go with your gut and find a different school. Good luck!!