Pregnant Again Out of Wedlock and Hating It!!!

First of all, congratulations! A baby is always good news as far as I'm concerned.

It's a woman's perogative to change her mind. I get the sense that referring to you as his fiance or wife is his way of letting you know where he stands on the issue. In a quiet moment together you may say..."you know, I've been thinking that my initial feeling of not wanting to marry before the birth was selfish on my part. Maybe that would be better for the baby." That can begin the discussion anyway.
Best wishes.

Dear One,
PRAY! Ask God to work on both of your hearts, to open up a time for y'all to talk and to be there in the midst of the conversation. I often pray that the Lord will be the interpreter between me and the other person, and I know He is in it when there is peace, patience, kindness, self-control because the Bible tells me those are the attributes of God's Spirit. It will take some humbleness on your part as you want to express that you may have been wrong to think that way and that you really want and need him to be your husband during this time. Also, you're making yourself vulnerable as you're sharing your heart's desires. But if he's a good man he will be blessed by your openness and desire to be his bride.

The Lord has obviously been working on your heart. Follow Him and you'll never be led astray. He is not harsh and knows that no one can cast a stone against you because all of us have sinned and fallen short of His intentions for us. I hope you have a good church family that will love and support through this time. Many blessings!

Hello S.. You could start talking about names and how they sound First name and then Your last name. If asked Your name needs to be the same has the child for so many reasons. Day care, school, medical etc. Maybe this might get the ball rolling Good Luck.J.

Have you considered a JOP wedding for now and the 'real' thing when you're happy with your body again? I would just tell him how you feel, men are not mind readers. If he's up for marriage he'll tell you then.

Best wishes.

I have a friend who was in your situation. She was a virgin- her first time. She got pregnant. They married, and she really regrets that decision. They have been married for seven or so years and are miserable, have been since I met them six years ago.

Don't jump into anything just because you are pregnant. It is not a sin to be pregnant out of wedlock- God created that baby and you shouldn't look at it that way. No, you should not have sex outside of marriage, but you did (and are?) and that's what you should feel conviction over- not the baby. Please don't get married just because you are pregnant!

that said, you should tell him exactly how you feel.

Gentle hugs,
S., mom to four little girls ages 1-5 and married 6 years.

Your answer is very simple: PROPOSE TO HIM with a candle lit dinner!

P.

IF the man has not proposed by the time the infant is born, drop him, get your tubes tied, and move on. YOu can legally get his wages garnished as well as your other child's daddy's. Why buy the cow when the milk is free?

Honesty is the only way to have a good relationship with anyone. Tell him you've changed your mind andthat you feel the need to be married befroe the baby is born. You can always have a small ceremony(just you, him, the witnesses and the preacher or JP) and have a real wedding after the baby comes.

If you love the guy, just tell him you want your baby to have a proper mom and dad when he's born. Ask him if he would consider a trip to the courthouse to be married by a justice of the peace. It's all perfectly legal but you won't have to invite anyone. Just take one or two friends as witnesses and maybe your daughter. That way no one will see you while your so pregnant and you can always have a wedding party six months later when your "baby fat" is gone.

Good luck!

P.S. I was pregnant when I got married. My son ended up looking like a little rubber stamp of his father, so I was glad we got married. I was too immature though to make sure it lasted. He wasn't a good husband. I should have trained him. Instead, I divorced him. We ended up being friends until he died three years ago of M.S. Our son is 40 now.

Hi S.,
The GOOD LORD knew you, your boyfriend and the baby you are expecting, before He formed any of you in the womb. Therefore, HE also knew who would be whose parents. SEE Ps.139.

S., I am not making excuses for the ones of us who are saved, to continue in sin, I am not. But God's grace is sufficient for me, you, and all believers. Jesus is gracious, slow to anger, and full of mercy.

It seems you have a penitent spirit, and that's exactly what God wants. Repent for this also, confess what your heart is sharing with us, to God, and He is faithful, and just to forgive you, and cleanse you from all unrighteousness. The Lord reminds us that we are quick to judge the outward appearance of people, but He judges the heart (spirit).

At that very right moment, tell your friend you need to be married before yours and his baby is born, even if it is a secret ceremony, with the celebration and public announcement coming later. Express to him how extremely, stressful this whole situation is, because of your faith.

Let him know how much you love and appreciate him, but that you really need him to understand. Use this as a witnessing tool that will get him saved, and/or closer to God. Remind him, tenderly, that God makes the rules, and that the baby needs the blessing of his father's name, and covering.

I know that many of us are praying for you and with you about this matter.

Take a stand for God and His righteousness, and He will stand tall and strong for you. In Jesus name, I call in, and claim the victory for you and your family.

Praise God S., your faith has brought you a positive response from GOD. When you shared with us, you were really reaching out to God, in us.

Be strong in the LORD,

Beverly

Just be honest with him and speak from your heart. I think that you could get a ring, if that is important to you. It doesnt have to be an expensive one. Also, why not get hitched at the court-house and then you could have a ceremony later after the kiddo comes along. This way, you are married and can concentrate on the ceremony (if that is what you want) later. People do it all the time.
Just a thought,
Margaret :)

No one should be harsh with you. Shame on them if they are. Honesty is always the best policy. Just sit him down for dinner one night and calmly tell him how you feel. Be prepared for the wrost though. If he is honest he may have something to say that you don't like. Good luck. You could also talk to your pastor and see what his suggestions might be. Just a thought.