Pregnant Again After Only 9 Months!!

Becky,
You have already been given lots of advice on the main questions in your mind and that is wonderful. I have the same story as most, I have 2 girls that are 14 months apart. Our #3 child was 6 months when I found out about #4. The things that you are worried about don't seem to be as big when the new baby comes, you just have to take one day at a time. If you are planning on nursing the newest one, then I have a suggestion. Make a nursing box for the little man---something that he doesn't get to play with until and unless you are nursing the baby. Keep this close to where ever you are going to nurse and keep things in there that he can play with and do while you are feeding. Another suggestion is to invest in a double stroller. I found that it was really hard to get out of the house by myself with the kids without it. When I got the stroller I could load the babies into it and do my shopping as long as I didn't get anymore than would fit under the stroller. Save the heavy duty shopping for when you have someone else with you, or watching the kids. Now that my girls are older, they are 4 1/2 and 3 1/2, they are good friends and play really well together. I do get asked if they are twins because they are close and wear the same size clothing. But things will work out, just don't stress too much, sometimes we worry too much about what will happen and don't spend enough time savoring the moment that we are in. Congrats on #3.
J.
(I have 6 kids ranging in ages from 12 to 2 1/2 months)

I have a son born in April 2003 and a daughter born September 2004-the exact same times that you will be having yours. First of all let me tell you they are the best of friends and play very well toegether! Because of this, I get some 'me' time more frequently than most. It was a very BUSY 1-2 years after my daughter was born and I honestly don't remember much. I just put one foot in front of the other and did it. But now it is paying off.

One thing that I did with my son before I had my daughter is that I tried to make him a little less dependent on me. I started making him walk on his own without me picking him up most of the time. I made him entertain himself more (15-20 minute blocks at a time) so to prepare him for me feeding his sister. I did not have help of an older sibling or family and my husband works very long hours but hopefully you will have a little more support.
I took a nap everyday with my son when I was pregnant!!!!!! That was key to me being able to function the rest of the day. If you're working, see if you can nap after work everyday for at least 30 minutes. It really helped me.

As for the stress to your body... make sure you get enough calcium, I lost bone mass due to the closeness of the kids (and the fact that I don't like dairy and probably didn't get enough calcium) Your body will bounce back to your pre-pregnancy shape even if you don't diet after about 9 months on it's own. I still had about 10 pounds from my first pregnancy but after regular exercise at the gym I'm back to my original size.

Please feel free to email me anytime. I certaintly know what you'll be going through!!!!!!!
Good luck and Congratulations,
A.

Becky, I have three children, and all were born within 39 months. My DD is going to be 5 in April. 22 months after she was born, I found out I was expecting again. That DS will be 3 in a few weeks. When he was 8 months old I found out I was pregnant AGAIN!! To say I was surprised would be an understatement! Rest assured, you can do it, and you can do it well! My children have their moments, but for the most part, they are delightful children!

1) Your 10 month old won't know any different -- and when he and the new baby are a little older they will be so close they'll be able to play very well together. You will love your DS no matter what, you'll just have more love to give, that's all! (Just like you did with DD when DS was born!)
2) When I wasn't feeling well, that was when we laid on my bed for mommy cuddle time and watched a movie or something else we don't normally do. They knew mommy wasn't feeling well and needed a break, and they were so great about it! Hang in there with this part -- it will pass. And be sure to get lots of rest as soon as you possibly can at night!
3) Pregnancies so close together are harder on your body, but I didn't have any complications with my pregnancies or my babies. Talk to your doctor about these concerns. It's not ideal for them to be so close, but it's not the worst thing to happen, too.
4) Again -- your son won't know any different. My DS (who was only 16 months old when the new baby was born) handled the new baby better than my oldest. He was wonderful with him, and now people are surprised to find that he is just now turning 3! Let your son know now -- start talking about the new baby in mommy's tummy (or however you talk about it). I was so worried about this, too, but it really will be okay. If you start talking about it now, he won't know any different. And I'm serious!

You're right -- they are a blessing, and we should be so thankful, but it's still scary/surprising/exciting/nerve-wracking when things don't go as planned and they're so close . I will be saying lots and lots of prayers for you and the kiddos. Hang in there, girl! It is ALL worth it!

Becky,
Congraulations, I have a 7 1/2 year old daughter, a 5year old son, and suprise a 4year old daughter. I found out I was pregnent with #3 when #2 was about 7months old and was very very upset, feeling like he would not get the attention he needed, However I have found that He is her #1 supporter, they don't always get along, but we made sure he knew that she was "his baby" and he is the big brother to watch out for her, I don't mean he has to be responsible, but we gave him alittle ownership. -I tried taking him to an ultrasound, that was totaly worthless. He didn't get it at all. I did get him a baby doll and we practiced taking care of her together.

It was really funny when she was born he was 14months and in just a few days he made it clear if she wasn't happy -no one was. He would get mad if I wasn't taking care of his girl.

As far as a toll on your body- my 3rd was my easiest, however I know every woman is different. Also when I was sick I found it was easiest to find some play toys to keep in a basket in the bathroom, or on the floor next to my bed. That way when I wasn't feeling good he got something specificly fun to do, but something you don't need to do for him. Like cars, and we had one of those baby gym's that had lights and he could play like a piano. It was loud, but atleat he was happy.

Well, I hope this helped and it's true as soon as soon as you get to know #3 you will have to make adjustments for each of the kids.

Hi Becky :)

First of all, congrats on #3! My third pregnancy came right on the heels of my second one (four months later), as well. In answer to your questions:

1. No, I don't feel like it took my attention away from my second child. In fact, it was fun to hold her during my pregnancy and tell her about what I went through when she was at that stage of development. It also seemed to make my pregnancy fly by (you know how after 30 weeks it seems like it's dragging on forEVER?)

2. As for nausea, fatigue, and all the other joys of pregnancy, you just have to take it as it comes. I'm a SAHM, so it made it easier for me, as I could nap when my daughter did.

3. The toll on your body is going to be more than usual. Your body hasn't had much time to get back to normal, and in my experience I was achy from Day 1. Walking and rolling over in bed was painful as my pelvis hadn't seemed to recover. My best advice is massage therapy and a chiropractor specialized in pregnancy.

4. As far as preparing your son for when Baby arrives, we didn't really do anything special. My daughter was still in her crib, so rather than buying a new one, we just used a small bassinet in our room so each of them had their own space. We did make sure though to separate blankets and stuffed animals for each of them, to avoid any jealousy issues that might spring up.

Good luck, and congratulations again! :)

I had a 7 yr old when I got pregnant. It took so long to get pregnant that I did not want to go on the pill, so we took our chances. She was 8 mo old when I found out I was already pregnant again. They are now 21, 13 and 11. Those are my most cherished memories! I was soooo busy that my body went back quick and they have been close since day 1. I had 2 girls, then 2 boys.

I don't know it it is because I had just done it, but he was definitely my easiest baby!

Congrats!

Oh, man! 10 months old, 7 weeks means he'll be... 17 months when the new one arrives (barring excitement)...

1. At 17months, the biggest challenge will be having two small people who have no way of understanding what 'wait' means. All of their needs are needs (not wants or demands) and all of them are immediate. For your older, this will mean that he spends some time before he is emotionally- or mentally-ready, being 'put off' because the baby needs something. If you can hire or enlist household help so as little of the running of the house is your problem, you will find you have more time (and energy) to meet your children's needs. Also, with only an emerging sense of himself, your older lad will quickly forget what it was like to be the 'only'.

2. Happily, that will (should) pass before your lad is a terribly-active 14mo. Make one room in your house a 'safe' room, where you can lie down and rest knowing there are only safe toys (stuffed things, board books), no health or safety hazards (like drapery cords, windows to fall out, uncovered outlets, etc.) and soft furnishings on or close to the floor -- a mattress on the floor is safer to fall off of than a bed of any height. Many women report nausea being greatly minimized when they have a way of getting enough rest.

3. Your body has barely recovered from the last pregnancy, so your muscles will distend rapidly (you'll look a lot 'more pregnant' much faster this time), but if you're in relatively good shape, shaping up again will not take any longer, provided you eat well and make sure that rest is constantly a high priority.

4. Probably just the talking you do about the things you're arranging, the appointments he accompanies you to, and the shopping you're doing, as well as being around the people you're talking about it in general with, will suffice. He won't be very verbal, and will still have no concept of 'different later' -- that doesn't really work for kids' brains until they're around 3. His life will change suddenly and he won't know (or really even care) why.

Tips: get the book 'Mother Nurture' and start putting the main advice into practice as soon as possible. Your body is recouperating from a pregnancy while it is caring for a baby and growing another one -- you have a lot of physical and emotional demands to rejuvenate yourself from...

My two girls are 16 months apart and to tell u the truth i wouldn't trade it for the world. They have grown up as best friends. No don't get me wrong they do have their little fights but in the long run they stand with each other. They even sleep in the same bed still til this day. And when asked if they were to have their own room ..... would they sleep in their own beds they still said they would sleep together. Anyways I only had a couple of problems when they were little like i had a hard time bottle breaking my oldest. I would tell her the famous bottles are for babies like sister and she would act like a baby. On the other hand it did seem easier to break both at the same time. Another thing was that my younger one learned to defend herself from her sister. Which was kinda bad cause it went with her into school. I wouldn't trade the whole thing for nothing. GOOD LUCK and think of it this way..... UNCONDITIONAL DOUBLE LOVE !!

Becky, 3
I have a friend who's girls are exactly the same ages your kids are. Her kids are now grown and having babies. I used to babysit for them, and they did just fine- actually better than fine. One ran for Ms America, I think the other 2 have their MAster's degrees and are all 3 beautiful successful well adjusted women. When they were small, the younger 2 were nearly like raising twins, they seemed to learn and grow at the same pace. Good luck, and hopefully your 12 year old will be tons of help to you>

Dear Becky,

I love that you are having your babies this close together! After the initial hard work of the pregnancy and first year, it will be such fun! We have kids 18 mo. apart, 20 mo. apart, 22 mo. apart, 25 mo. apart and 27 mo. apart. We also have two who are 3 3/4 years apart due to several miscarriages. I would like to address your 1st and 4th question. When you're trying to develop your 10 mo. old's attitude toward the baby during the pregnancy, be careful not to blame anything on the baby such as "I can't do that for you right now because of the baby." Blame it on yourself instead if you have to place blame. Also, once the baby is born, think of yourself as having two babies instead of booting the older one up to the next phase. Use the new baby's nap times to give attention to the older one. Let him know his turn is coming, and try not to blame anything on the baby. Say, "Now it's baby's turn to have Mommy, and your turn will be next." Rather than saying, "Baby needs me now, I'll play with you when he's asleep." The older one "needs" you, too. This will be so fun for all of you!

B.

Our #4 & #5 are only 14 months apart! It was tough for the first couple of months, just getting a routine of sorts down. I found that using a baby sling, or baby type carrier that you can wear was VERY helpful!! As far as preparing your son for the new baby goes, include him in as much as he can understand. Get him a doll, I know some Dad's freak out by this. Carry it around. By the time the baby comes he will be about 18 months old & old enough to "understand" baby.

Once the baby comes, let him "help" you. While you hold baby, if you are bottle feeding, let him hold the bottle while he sits next to you. Or let him get you the diaper I wipes asking him to be the big helper boy. In include him in as much as you can.

You also do have an extra set of hands with your daughter. Don't rely on her too much though. She will recent the babies if you do that too much. But in those overwelming moments, she could take the baby to feed while you give your son some "Mommy Time". Or she can take your son for any activity to do while you tend to baby. But PLEASE remember not to take advantage of her. We unfortunately do sometimes with our older too & it does cause tension for us with them. :(

As far as feeling nauseous & the toll it will take on your body, I can't help you there. We adopted our last 3.

GOOD LUCK!!

D.

First of all - congrats! :-) My two are 22 months apart. I worried my whole pregnancy about how I could possibly have the time for the second one, how I could possibly love her as much as my first, how my little guy was going to take it. But - you know what? It just works out. You deal. You love the second as much as the first. When my belly started showing - which was really quick with the second - we just told Blake that his baby sibling was in there. He started referring to it as "his baby" and when she was born we made sure he felt a part of it. He got little jobs to help Mom out - like getting a diaper for me, whatever. If you get too sick - hopefully someone can help. My hubby was wonderful that way. I luckily didn't get too sick anyway, but Blake also enjoyed a little more Dad time. The 12 year old should be a big help :-) I think we mothers worry too much - it always works out.

I am expecting #4, and he will be 18 months younger then #3. I have only about a month left, so some of the questions I cant answer, however when I was nausated, it usually happened when she was still sleeping, so it didnt bother her none. I have been talking to her about the new baby coming, even though I dont know exactly how much she understands, I know she gets some of it. She has to look into baby carriers to see the babies and loves the baby doll she was given at Christmas. She will pat my tummy and say baby and give it a kiss. But she is a huge momma's girl, so I have a feeling there will be some jealously when he comes home, she gets upset when I hold our 3 yr old or someone else's baby. Like when I brought her home and my 3 yr old was only 2, I will make sure she is involved as much as possible with the new baby. Things like getting you a diaper, or helping with the feeding (I had bottled fed her and probably will him too) like shaking the bottles or helping with the burping, and of course making sure when I am cuddling one, I cuddle her too. It really helps with the bonding of siblings when you can cuddle as many of them as possible. Of course having an older sibling, like your 12 yr old, will be the biggest help of all. I have an 8 yrs old son, who distracted the one daughter so I could spend time with the other and vice versa. Its quite a change, and I feel like I am crazy most days! LOL Good Luck!!

Hi Becky. I have raised my own children and others. I have had three babies almost the same age at one time or another.
The best thing you can do for yourself is this?

When you are feeling sick lay on the bed, close the bedroom door and make a game of being together. Don't go on your babies bed. He/she might think going to bed is a game.

This is what you will need to have on hand.

1. Televeision and Videos
2. Toys for floor play when he/she gets off the bed; AND we all know that at 10 months they like to move constantly.
3. The little ones blanket, etc. just in case.
4. Diapers and changing stuff so you don't need to get up and down and change rooms.
5. Fun music just in case he/she gets bored with videos
6. Snacks in a lunch box of something fun to open.

I would do this when ever I was sick. The kids loved having me in a condensed arena. We would have favorite toys with us and it made it so much easier to get through the feeling sick routine.

Hope this helps. Oh Yeah, make sure you place everything in your room on HIGH so the stress of keeping the baby away won't be an issue.

C.