A.K. asks from Lakeville, MN on June 18, 2010
Pregnancy Worries After Previous Miscarriages
Last week I missed my period and took a positive pregnancy test, which makes me 5 weeks pregnant. I was excited and calm about it last week, but am already starting to feel anxiety about having another miscarriage. last year I had a 'chemical pregnancy' (basically a REALLY early m/c) and a few months after that, a m/c (stopped growing at 7 or 8 weeks, didn't find out until 11 weeks when I had some spotting and went in and had a vaginal ultrasound - no heartbeat. I had the tissue tested and there was a common chromosonal abnormality.). It's been about 10 months since then. We started trying 2 cycles ago and obviously succeeded quickly. My concern (today anyways) is that my breasts got heavier and tender last week, which I took as a symptom of being pregnant. But this week, they don't hurt anymore (just the nipples are tender), or feel 'swollen'. I really don't have any other symptoms. Is it too early? This has almost convinced me that something is going wrong, and I have caught myself feeling sad and not being able to stay positive about the future of this pregnancy.
I guess my question is, after experiencing a miscarriage, how do you NOT constantly worry you will have another?
C.N. answers from Minneapolis on June 18, 2010
You can never get rid of the worry- I've had two in a row, and now I have had two successful pregnancies since - and it was never any relief until my ultrasounds. The only thing to know is, you have no control over this- no matter how much you worry- you will not be able to stop it if it is happening. And, maybe talk to your doc- they put me on progesterone with the second. Might be worth a shot. Also, if you drink coffee- stop. I am slightly convinced that it increases risk of miscarriage(I drank it before I knew I was pregnant with both miscarriages).
1 mom found this helpful
E.I. answers from Duluth on June 20, 2010
i know how you feel! i had a miscarriage, and then when i got pregnant 3 months later, i felt like i was walking on eggshells until things were "guaranteed" to be fine.
i dont know what to say other than to say that you just take it a day at a time. dont tell a lot of people in your family and friends to avoid having to rehash the whole miscarriage again. we were cautious about it for a while, but we just took it easy and were calm and it was like, whats the worst that can happen ? another miscarriage. we've been through it, we know what we are getting into, and we can handle it. we figured its a 25% chance of happening with any pregnancy, so if it happens twice it happens twice. my doctor said after three, she would start checking for problems with us. but i would have asked her for it after 2.
i dont know. its a tough thing and its personal. the way we dealt with it might not be a way you would deal with it. but just take it a day at a time, and know that whatever happens, happens, and you can deal with it when it happens. like i said, you've been through it, so you know what its like, its not "new". it hurts, but at least you know whats going on. i dont know. good luck! chances are that everything will be just fine this time!! so stay positive, and relax, and just keep remembering that miscarriage happens, and it happens a lot more than people know. :) but those moms get pregnant and stay pregnant no problem the next time. :)
1 mom found this helpful
D.M. answers from Denver on June 18, 2010
I don't think you can. I sure couldn't. But my last pregnancy went to term, despite my constant worry that it wouldn't. There is no universal requirement to always stay positive - our feelings about these kinds of things are based upon our experiences.
As for what not "feeling pregnant" right now - it could mean something or nothing. I didn't feel at all pregnant for about 6 weeks with my last pregnancy. And then, bow howdy, I was sick. If you start having food aversions, that is a REALLY good sign. I am a serious coffee addict, and the only REAL sign for me a healthy pregnancy is that I stop wanting coffee...then it becomes disgusting. That was the case in both of my pregnancies that went to term. I am now the lucky mommy of 3 boys - 2 biological and one adopted.
Good luck and God bless.
1 mom found this helpful
L.G. answers from Minneapolis on June 21, 2010
Make an appointment with your doctor - when they ask the date of your last cycle, say you don't know. tell them you have no idea when you concieved. Tell them your m/c concerns. You will almost certainly get an ultrasound - and a positive ultrasound at this point of the pregnancy would mean that your chance of m/c would be very small.
Good Luck. I've been there!
C.S. answers from Minneapolis on June 19, 2010
I'm so sorry for your losses, you are in my prayers. The only thing I can tell you is that my pregnancy with my son was the same way. I would have sore breasts one day and then the next, only the nipples would be sore. I worried too, but I ended up just having a very mild almost symptomless pregnancy :). I pray that the same will be true for you! I know too that hormone levels are not really high yet at 5 weeks to cause a lot of symptoms. Most women don't even know they're pregnant until they're closer to 8 or 9 weeks sometimes! God bless.
L.H. answers from Milwaukee on June 19, 2010
Do your breasts get sore around your period? At first only my nipples were sensitive with my pregnancies until a little later. I miscarried one of my pregnancies too and it's hard. With the next pregnancy I had the atitude what will happen will happen and there is nothing I could do about it. I have a healthy 3 yr old. I know it's hard to stay positive but stressing out isn't good either. Congrats and I hope all your worries are for nothing.
A.C. answers from Minneapolis on June 19, 2010
First, I'd like to say I'm so sorry you experienced the miscarriages. I, too, had a chemical pregnancy last year after trying to get pregnant for 2 years. You can imagine the disappointment. Right now, I am almost 13 weeks pregnant, and all has gone well so far. Like you, I've gone through some really tough days of worrying, especially early on with a day of spotting and some days that my breasts were no longer tender and I didn't "feel" pregnant. For me, the one thing that carried my through it all (and still is) is my Christian faith and some really positive, encouraging friends. I don't know where you stand on the religious issue, but if you want some Bible verses to "stand on", let me know and I can send them to you. The most important thing is to find that one thing that gives you the support you need to stay as positive as possible. And don't beat yourself up for the days you can't seem to stay possible. It happens and I believe it's normal with any sort of miscarriage history, and that's not even figuring in the hormonal/emotional side of things. In the meantime, I recommend talking to your doctor about your anxiety. I've been lucky enough to have a great nurse practitioner that has told me I can come in every single week to hear the heartbeat if I feel like I need to. (In fact, I switched to my current doctor after having a horrible experience regarding the chemical pregnancy with my last doctor. Let's just say they were very insensitive.) I wish you the best with your pregnancy! I think this site is a great place to get support, so ask for it whenever you need it.
L.C. answers from Janesville-Beloit on June 18, 2010
I know how hard it is not to worry. I have been there 2 times. I was never so happy to have morning sickness. If you can call your doctor. Maybe he/she can do blood tests to make sure your HCG levels are rising and check your progesterone levels too. Its a little early for an ultrasound, you won't see much, but you could ask.
For the record you never stop worrying. I still worry every day about my 26 year old as much as the 6 year old!