J.W. asks from Bedford, TX on September 08, 2008
Pregnancy over Age 40 - Bedford,TX
Hi Mamas! I'm looking for some advice and encouragement on a possible pregnancy in my 40's. Scary statistics abound if you look for them, but I know there are many healthy pregnancies of "mature mothers" out there too. I'm already a mom, but would like to have a second child and I'm 40. Thoughts? Encouragement?
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So What Happened?™
Mamas- You ladies are wonderful! Thanks so much for the encouragement, personal stories and even the warnings. My husband and I are in a waiting mode right now due to several reasons, primarily that he is not sure he wants a second child. I had a nasty episode of depression when the first baby was less than a year old and I know that weighs on him. I'm a "lifer" on an SSRI now and am confident another such episode could be avoided. We also have some financial issues as I start a new business. My hope and prayer is to start "trying" next year. Thanks again for all the feedback. More is always welcomed!
Featured Answers
J.Y. answers from Lubbock on September 09, 2008
J.,
I had my first child at 40. A beautiful girl. My second at 42. A beautiful boy. They are now 18 and 20. Smart and fantastic. If you are in good shape go for it.
J.
J.H. answers from Amarillo on September 09, 2008
Who can really know with the statstics, but my mother-in-law had two children in her forties, and I had two aunts that did. They were all healthy.
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R. answers from Dallas on September 10, 2008
I am 44 and will be 45 when I have my son next month.
Every pregnancy is different.
I have mean heartburn.
K.T. answers from Dallas on September 08, 2008
I am having my 5th baby at 37 ...due in Oct. There are some books out there for"older" mothers :o) Shiela Kitsinger worte 2...Birth over 35 and I cant remember thte title of the other. If you are healthy odds are you will have a healthy pregnancy. Are there concerns...sure, but make sure you go into each appointment armed with info that you need. Be sure to check out the pros and cons of all prenatal testing. I highly recommend Henci Goers book The Thinking Womans Guide to a Better Birth. I would also really search your heart for they type of caregiver that will be most supportive and less invasive with your care in order to ahve a happy preganncy and not a doom and gloom experience. Check our Birthcenters and homebirth midwives as well as OB's or at least do some serious interviewing before you hire an OB. Check out Childbirth Connection www.childbirthconnection.org for some great interview questions for caregivers.
Happy Pregnancy!!
K.
Lamaze Certified Childbirth Educator
DONA Certified Birth Doula
S.W. answers from Dallas on September 09, 2008
I had my first child at 40 and she is absolutely perfect. I had one miscarriage at 39, but it was early and there were no problems. However, I was blessed with another pregnancy at 41. I had a CVS and found out it was a boy and there were no detectable problems. Tragically, at my 16 week check up I found out there was a problem with the placenta and lost the baby. This problem is more common in pregnancies with "advanced maternal age." I had started taking the "high risk" thing too lightly. I still took very good care of my self and never missed an OB or songram appointment. I was having monthly sonograms, but I really thought they were routine and that everything would be fine, so I didn't even take my husband to my routine appointments. You can certainly have a beautiful, healthy baby after 40, but keep in mind it is not a given. There is nothing I could have done to prevent the particular problem that I had, but it is still worth some extra diligence to take care of yourself.
As far as the comment earlier that you are not meant to have children over 40, the truth is that you are not meant to have children past menopause. 40 has nothing to do with it. If God gives us eggs and the ability, of course we were meant to have children over 40. Anyone that could see my beautiful daughter asleep right now on my husband's lap would know she was meant to be.
L.A. answers from Dallas on September 08, 2008
As long as you go in with your eyes open (it might not be easy, the risks are elevated, etc) . . . I say go for it.
I was a slow starter - marrying late and had my son at 44. I had no complications (hardly even any symptoms)and have a wonderful, healthy son.
F.C. answers from Tyler on September 09, 2008
My sister had her first child in February. She's 42. Perfectly healthy little boy - born a month early, but not a problem. If I could have more children, I would - I'm 45. My husband doesn't have any children of his own and that's something we would like to do, so we're considering adoption or surrogacy - but, if I could do it myself, I would. If you want a second child and your husband/partner is on board, then go for it! Remember, God is in control and He will choose the child you have - he or she will be the perfect child for you!
Good Luck & God Bless,
Frances
E.S. answers from Dallas on September 09, 2008
My aunt had her third baby when she was 48, uncle was 50. Their first two kids were already married. Everything turned our great for her. Of course she had to take it extra easy, but there were no complications and mom and baby were both healthy. Good luck to you!
J.P. answers from Dallas on September 30, 2008
I've had a GREAT pregnancy so far and due anyday...I turn 40 in November...Go for it!!!!
A.M. answers from Dallas on September 13, 2008
God has blessed a second child. That one of best blessings you can have no matter how old you are
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