Pregnancy Mood swings...what to Do About It...

Updated on April 07, 2008
L.W. asks from Oneonta, AL
22 answers

I am 12 weeks pregnant, and have been having HORRIBLE mood swings! If I'm not being a witch, I'm crying! I know that some mood swings are normal..but this is getting ridiculous...I'm making my boyfriend miserable because it seems that I have a problem with everything he does! I find myself thinking after a "bad spell"..."WHY DID I DO THAT?"..then..I can apologize of course..but I still feel like a fool half the time for getting angry or upset when I normally would not. Before pregnancy, I was very laid back..and he hardly ever did anything that bothered me...now it's one thing after the other. I know that one option is to have the doc put me on an antidepressant, but I dont' want to do this for 2 reasons...#1 being..I know that dr's say that some of them are safe..but I wonder about what it will do to baby..and #2..I've been on them before and they basically turn me into a robot! I never feel really bad, but I never feel really good either...I was just wondering if anyone knows of anything...other than meds that I can do to help...I feel like I"m going crazy and I can't control it.

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C.H.

answers from Birmingham on

My mood swings never went away after pregnancy:( Finally I found an essential oil that I wear as perfume, whenever I feed edgy of moody I apply it again. I use lavender to calm me down or joy to take my pissy feeling away. They are a little pricey but well worth it when you find out which ones work for you. I get them from www.youngliving.org

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C.D.

answers from Lafayette on

Hello L.,

I would stay away from the antidepressants, ecspecially being that you are pregnant! I am not a big beleaver in any meds, I think they all just make you need something eles. My thoughts on antidepressants is that I'd rather feel something, even if it's stress or sadness than to feel nothing at all. I am 35 weeks pregnant right now so I can relate to the mood swings, you just have to remember to be mindful of the changes going on within yourself and think before you act. We often take our frustrations out on our loved ones. I find that sometimes if I am just mindful on a daily basis that I can control my hormones. Try remembering how lucky you are to have a healthy 5 year old son and a new baby on the way, a boyfriend that stands by your side and your own good health. Sometimes when we really think about all that we have, we can laugh about the the things we thought were so wrong. There are alot of ways to releave stress naturally. Good luck you have great things going on in your life, enjoy this time!

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L.R.

answers from Little Rock on

I COMPLETELY understand, I have PCOS, so I have hormonal mood tornadoes all the time. It's like you can feel yourself being angry but can't stop it, almost like you are watching someone else. The reason I call then tornadoes is because everything is calm and wonderful, then the storm of anger/tears/ect moves in, everything is destroyed (including bf), and then you are normal again but the damage is already done and takes forever to fix. So what I do is warn whoever is around that I am feeling like I am angry/emotional for NO reason and perhaps it would be better that I am left alone for awhile until I can get a grip. I will go read, play on comp, watch tv alone, take a walk whatever . . .get it all out of my system and try to re-enter the civilized world. Sometimes they don't take heed of your advice . . .and them breathing, moving something too loudly (too you), talking at the same time as you are thinking, ect and you are inevitably going to erupt; just try to explain again and if they are not responding do the your time thing for awhile until everything blows over and try to explain it again. GOOD LUCK, it is a tough situation, especially when it is a man because they can't truly understand, they can only step back, give us space, and caress us when we need it. O' the other thing I do, is if i NEED to be with my husband (vice versa) than I will just ask if we can quietly watch tv together/read together and he can just hold/caress/pet me. Hopefully they just don't make any wrong moves, lol :)

On the antidepressants . . . if you can stay away from them than do . .. there is no complete research to prove effects on child. But, if you have to make sure it is one that is recommended by high risk ob (they are used to meds with preg), and pharmacist to garauntee that whatever you are taking too won't interfere (tylonol, ibuprofren, excedrin,prenatals, anatcid, ect) . . . Good luck again and the mood tornadoes get less severe the farther you are along. Try to enjoy this preg , cherish all these moments and even diary about them for your little one . . . it will help release some of that energy too :)

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C.T.

answers from Little Rock on

I think part of your reason for the mood swings is you are pregnant AND taking care of an infant. That is a LOT to handle. I am 17 weeks and am pretty much over my mood swing part of the pregnancy (for now LOL) but taking care of my 3yr old and dealing with tiredness etc. of pregnancy is ROUGH.

Your hormones will level out. It is that darn estrogen that is getting to you right now but once the progesterone from the placenta starts to build then you will be nice and calm and easy going. :)

C.
www.purelybalanced.com

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M.C.

answers from Texarkana on

There are so many alternatives to meds! Proud of you for insisting on learning how to do this without.

Go to our website, www.royaloil.org and check out "Between the Raindrops." It's a totally natural energy product that isn't really on the market yet. We'll send you a free sample if you are willing to field test this. There is an email link there. --M.

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J.H.

answers from Dothan on

I would have to agree with Jen...Prenatual yoga. But I would also wonder if you have thyroid issues, when mine is goofy I am a hormonal mess, trust me ask anyone I was around the first of the week. Talk with your doctor about this but please stay away from antidepress., camimille tea is calming and relaxing.

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L.P.

answers from Tulsa on

Hi there! I am also L. and I am 12 weeks on Sat! What fun. This is my 4th pregnancy but i am in no way and expert! My Dr.s with the other kids assume I know/remember everything from the 1st ones but I don't! i have out many news things time around as well.
i know that it is NO FUN AT ALL to be hormonal. I just tell my husband tht I'm feeling "needy" and he knows exactly what I mean! Come up with a cue word that tells him to take extra precautions. Also, Hard as it is, try to take your vitamins, eat healthy, and MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL - get plenty of sleep!!!!!!!!!
Walking has also helped me with my moods and I have also even lost a few pounds which should help me out in the long run!
Last but not least, talk to your dr!!!!! he is there to help and may be able to suggest a supplement that will help.
If you have trouble getting motivated write back. I have a 4yr son and maybe we could meet at the park for a little bit just to get aquainted.

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M.M.

answers from Shreveport on

As a mother of 7 I have one answer.... Take up knitting. I chose knitting, but find a simple relaxing hobby to take your mind off all the hormones. I have seven kids. I started knitting while pregnanat with number one and it saved several necks. There is something about the repetive motion and the thinking that you have to do with it.....
Good luck!!!!!

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B.S.

answers from Hattiesburg on

Usually the high levels of progesterone excreted during pregnancy, cause calmness and relaxation. That was my experience during pregnancy, until I got very large and really uncomfortable. Of course not all women are the same. Could it be that you are feeling extra insecure, since you are not married? God created marriage for that security, comfort and stability. I personally would want to be married before getting pregnant, as it is natural to be more vulnerable during that time and want to be protected. Could you possibly have some underlying anger about that? Just a thought....

B. S. RN CCM

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J.P.

answers from Tulsa on

Unfortunately I think there may be nothing you can do to change this problem you're having. You may just want to own it. :) I know you feel mean and sad and guilty and you're totally annoyed by the people around you, but the upside to this is that it won't last forever. You're only going to be like this while you're pregnant (and maybe not even the whole time). So, try not to get too worked up by it, if that's possible. It really does happen to everyone--or at least everyone I've ever talked to. I'm sure your husband will understand. I do think a code word is a good idea, too, and just remembering to apologize. You can't change your hormones and I would try to stay away from any and all medications if you can. I actually kinda thought my insane hormonal craziness while I was pregnant was a little funny, especially for stories later. I know it doesn't seem funny when you're crying hysterically in the middle of a restaurant for no reason, but it may make for good laughs later. Good luck and I'm sorry there's no good way out of your problem.

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A.D.

answers from Fayetteville on

I know everyone says this, but it really does happen to us all. At 20 weeks, I threw a pack of batteries at my husband because he changed the brand of dog food. I have a short temper and tend to snap at my husband even when I am not pregnant (I take Welbutrin for PMS normally but will stop before I get pregnant), so I have become an expert at apologizing afterwards, which always seems to help. Also, crying is a great stress releiver, so if you need to cry let it out and let your BF comfort you. He is probably feeling pretty helpless right now and will want to "solve the problem", like all men want to.
If you need to vent to get it all out, try writing it down. It doesn't matter if you just ramble on, you aren't being graded and it feels great to get it all out without abusing your loved ones. This was very therapuetic for me. If you need a sympathetic ear who won't judge, find a pen pal (or e-mail pal) to send your complaints to. I am happy to volunteer if you think it would help. Good luck and remember it doesn't last!

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J.C.

answers from Tulsa on

It's a hormonal thing...sometimes it will cease completely but sometimes it doesn't...ask your doctor for suggestions or if you have a very knowlegeable natural druggest check with them. Good luck....and congrats on the new arrival on the way!

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E.H.

answers from Baton Rouge on

I do not have an answer for you, nor a suggestion. But I am glad to know that I am not alone. I am almost 16 weeks with baby #2 and my boyfriend and I could not be any worse off right now. It is so bad that we are both considering moving- only not together. That stresses me out even more and upsets me and depresses me. I try so hard not to take it out on the 2 year old, but sometimes it's hard. Good luck!!

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N.N.

answers from Tulsa on

I've been through two pregnancies and have two beautiful girls, and suffered from pretty strong mood swings myself both during and after the pregnancies, and especially after weaning from the breast both times. I had doctors trying to just throw antidepressants at me after having the babies, but like you, I didn't want to chance it and frankly don't like the idea of possibly becoming dependent on anything to fix the problem. You can maybe fix one problem and then usually wind up with another it seems! So honestly I just always seemed to boil the mood swings down to the fact that I was trying to do too many things at once or please everyone, and this was my body's way of telling me to reduce stress in any way possible. When I was was pregnant and of course soon after giving birth, my stress threshold was simply much lower and all the things that I could normally juggle would seem to just make me crumble sometimes. So I guess my advice is don't beat yourself up thinking there is something wrong with you for being moody. It's probably just your body's way of telling you and everyone around you that you need more down time, more rest, and less things to worry about so that baby can be healthy and you can be a wonderful mom. Lord knows I was a moody beast many times and like you came to my senses after the damage was done, but your family and friends seem to know these are hormones talking. Be sure to give yourself a break as often as possible, take naps to keep you and that baby healthy, and eat healthy. And take deep breaths before letting a five-year-old get the best of you sometimes.......I have one the same age and they can really test you! I truly believe that these simple things can work wonders.

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E.M.

answers from Birmingham on

I had the same problem with my second pregnancy. I think it has to do with added stress and having a child already. I did yoga and it really help and added bonus I alonely gained 25 pounds with my second pregnancy, my first I gained 48 pounds. It also gave me extra energy which I think helped lowered my stress because I wasn't always tired.

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S.S.

answers from Tuscaloosa on

I can understand about the mood swings. I'm not far along myself, and I have noticed that I feel the same way at times. Sometimes, I feel that writing about my day or how I am feeling helps me to calm down. Maybe this is something you can do before responding to anyone. See if it works for you, and then maybe that will help you to calm down before snapping and maybe make it easier to talk about things.

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L.B.

answers from Fayetteville on

Don't take the antidepressants!!! First, the fewer chemical meds in pregnancy, the better. Second, you want to be able to recognize and deal with the issues that loom larger now that you & bf are expecting. It is less fun than feeling chill, but gets important work done.

This should help: every time you're about to say something negative, start yelling, be critical, whatever: Begin by saying, I'm feeling really hormonal right now! Then, try to focus what you say next on what you want, "can you put the cap back on the toothpaste tube?" rather than what you don't want "you never put the cap back..." That way, what would have come out as criticism before now becomes at worst, a frazzled request for his help as your ally in the tougher parts of pregnancy.

Good luck!
L.

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M.A.

answers from Lafayette on

Hi L.! On my third pregnancy, I had that problem. I couldn't stand myself with the mood swings. I was yelling at my kids for no reason. It was horrible. I tried calming myself & everything, but I couldn't stop it all before it came out. At 5 mos. preggo I couldn't take it anymore. I talked to my OBGyn and he put me on Zoloft. I am not a big medicine taker, but I tried it anyway. Overnight I was much better. I took it until delivery...then everything was fine.
Let me just say this: I have a sister who stayed depressed during one of her pregnancies...mood swings..sadness...etc. Her baby never smiled, was very "serious" looking all the time. I'm not saying it was def. b/c she was depressed during pregnancy...but it may be.
The baby I had while on the meds was my happiest baby out of 4. To me it was worth it for my sanity & my children's happiness. They were miserable along with me ... so waS my husband.
Also, I'd like to add that I did exercise, and eat small frequent meals, took my vitamins, etc. Nothing worked for me.
I wish you the best of luck in finding a solution that works for YOU.

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J.S.

answers from Oklahoma City on

My best friend had a similar problem and found that doing the prenatal yoga actually helped her stay a bit calmer. Might be worth a try to help avoid the meds. If you're not inclined to do yoga maybe try going for a walk each day.

Plus, both will help keep you in better shape later on.

Good luck! I hope everything turns out great for you.

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S.S.

answers from Lawton on

I had major depression and mood swings with my pregnancy and never sought any help on it and now I am scared to be pregnant again because I don't want to have a repeat of those feelings. Not only was I depressed for the nine months of pregnancy, but I had problems for over a year afterwards and really couldn't enjoy the pregnancy or my daughters infancy. Medication may not be the way for you, but you might consider counseling or just talking with a good friend. I didn't do anything and really regret it because it stole over two years of my life.

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M.C.

answers from Fayetteville on

Hey L.,

Being pregnant is a huge adjustment and speaking as a Midwife I think a part of your mood swings are physiological you are experiencing a drop in your basal metabolic rate and if you are not able to constantly eat small meals trough out the day your blood sugar drops and you quickly turn into a crabby, cranky and hungry person. Meds are not the soulution it's eating every two hours and having a brisk walk or some sort of phyical activity that gets your heart rate up and to increase your cirulation.
Another part of it is communicating your needs to your partner. if you start to feel angry nip it in the bud and tell him your hungry. soon he will be able to read the signs and will hand you a snack before you have to ask. one more thing B Complex Vitamin is excellent for helping people deal with fatigue, stress, and strong feelings of anger etc. B Vitamins are water soluble and are safe for pregnancy. Just follow the label on the bottle. you will notice that your pee will look brite neon yellow and that is normal.
Good for you for seeking advice and asking questions about whats best for you and your baby before you medicate your self and not just turning your self into a robot. You are a vibrant pregnant woman who is in the mist of a huge life adjustment it's perfectly normal to swing from one emotion to another.
M.
well

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P.F.

answers from Enid on

I also had those horrendous mood swings and was not a nice person when pregnant with my third child. I found that walking, outside, helped considerably. There was an underlying problem that caused much of the mood changes. I was scared. I had two children already and wasn't sure if I could handle another baby. I did not realize the level of the fear until after the baby was born and I began to see that I could do it, but I was terrified. And, I don't know your level of faith, but if you are a praying person, I highly recommend telling the higher power your problem, and asking him to let you know what you need to know. It might not be today or tomorrow, but you will be shown how to handle this. In the meantime, each time you feel like being ugly, eat an apple. It is hard to say mean things with your mouth full.

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