26 answers

Pregnancy After 40

Hello, I just turned 40 and am thinking of having a second child, but apprehensive due to my age. Would love to hear form women who had children after 40.
Thanks!

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Thank you all sooo much for sharing your stories and experiences. It was so great and normalizing to hear that there are so many mothers giving birth in their 40s! You may be counting me in soon.

Featured Answers

I had an oops at 40. and it's hard. but, awsome. For me, I was really monitored by the Dr because of my age. I had more untrasounds than before (and my 2nd I had at 36) There were a few scares, anemia, and a heart thing. But, everything was just fine. I didn't even tell people I was pregnant until after the amnio. there is an increased risk of downs, and I'd suggest just thinking about what you would do if that were the case. Good luck.

had my last girl @ 40...no regrets, I gained a little too much wt, tho...but otherwise, fine!! good luck

Had my first son at 35, second at 37 and third at 40. All healthy babies and great pregnancies. I say, go for it!

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Heya... Scanned through, to see if anyone from my age bracket had replied first...

So... I had my son when I was 23 a couple years after discharging from the USMC... and in the past 6 years I have yet to meet a single mum in their 20's. Most of my friends with children are in their 40's (children born betwen 38 & 45), but I DO know 2 in their mid 30's, one in their 50's, and one in their 60's. It's not like I'm a hermit, or anything, it's just the growing trend. There wasn't a single parent of a child in my son's preschool OR kindergarden class who was under 35, and most were in their forties/fifties.

Having children later, just plain makes sense. Typically a person in their 30's/40's is in a better place financially, educationally, emotionally, & career-wise then someone in their 20's. Heck, a person has had an extra 10-20 years of living, under their belts. It's hard NOT to be in a better place. <grinning> My husband and I were PLANNING on waiting four more years from NOW to have our first child. Since our son is 6, you can see how well that plan went.

One thing about this trend though, most mum's in their 40's snub younger mums. I have no real idea why. Mostly, I've learned to keep my age a secret (29, for real), until I've become friends with someone. <laughing> Everyone I know says that they're more tired then they were in their 20's... but then, they didn't have kids then. And they weren't running on 3 hours of sleep a night for 2 years, because they were studying for finals, or working at nights at a crappy job, and taking care of the baby in the daytime. They went to school and worked crappy jobs when they were young, and NO ONE was dependent on them. They didn't have to buy 80 dollars worth of diapers & 200 dollars of formula on their tiny entry-level position job. They just had to meet their friends for drinks & pizza.

Having kids is exhausting at any age. But ooooh boy. So. So. So. Much. Fun. :) :) :)

So put your hands on your hips, look around you... and see how far you've come.If you're in a better place then you were when you were in your 20's, breathe a sigh of relief. If you're in a better place then in your thirties... then throw your arms up and laugh. You'll be fantastic.

Hi I.,

Having a baby after 40 is really no big deal. I'm a late bloomer, having my first child, a son at 35, my second son at 37 and my last, a baby girl at 40. I was healthy and really taking good care of myself. My only complaint was, it does get a little hard when you are at your last trimester, but it was because I was chasing after 2 toddlers. I wanted a little girl so badly and was willing to give it another try if the 3rd was a boy, even if I was pass the 40+ age.

As you get older, it is hard to get rid of the pregnancy weight. I've been carrying an extra 8 pounds from my 3 pregnancies and I've found out it is harder to loose those weights as you get older.

For me, having a baby after 40 is no big deal. If financially you can afford to having another child, go for it.

Good luck!

had my last girl @ 40...no regrets, I gained a little too much wt, tho...but otherwise, fine!! good luck

Hi, I.,

I had a child at 40 1/2 and another six weeks before my 42nd birthday. Starting at age 38, my husband and I went through IUI, IVF and a couple rounds of ICSI as well as immune treatment to conceive a child. My first two pregnancies ended in miscarriage. My first live child was conceived through Intracytoplasmic Sperm Injection (ICSI), but my second live child was conceived naturally six months after my first was born. (I was so surprised to discover that I was pregnant that I didn't completely believe that I was going to have another child until I was five months pregnant.) I did not have an amnio during either pregnancy because, before becoming pregnant with both my sons, my husband and I decided to accept whatever we got in terms of children. A few people, including my mother, discouraged me from having kids out of fear of me conceiving children that had genetic conditions such as Down Syndrome. Now, my mother can't get enough of my two kids, who are 2 and 1. I would have preferred to have kids when I was younger (mid-twenties), but better late than never.

Good luck,
L. E

i understand how upset some may be by my response. as a child of parents who were 42 and 43 when i was born i think it is selfish to have children at that age. my parents never considered how their health would be 24 years later i am on the verge of loosing my mom to Alzheimer and my father has heart problems as well as diabetes. i don't think that all parents who are older will end up like this yes my parents had money at that point but i would rather have more years with them than good schools. my parents were always exhausted and unable to take me to the park or play dates or have tea parties with me. just make sure you have the time energy health and love to give to the child before you put a burden on an unborn.

I had no problems getting pregnant at 39 and delivering at 40. Had a wonderful pregnancy and my daughter is almost 4 and super healthy. Go for it, if that's your heart's desire! Remember, the glass half full, you are ONLY ;) 40!
Have fun trying!

PS find a doctor who's supportive of your pregnancy. Do all the exams required. Plan ahead with you husband if complications arise, just like you would in ANY pregnancy at any age, but you're wiser now ;)

You are not old.
You can still have a baby!
I was 42 when I had my 2nd child. It was planned, we got preggers naturally. I had no problems what so ever during the pregnancy.
My friend, was 47 when she had her 2nd child.

It's really do-able.
Just check with your OB/GYN. They see "older" pregnant Moms all the time. And of course, talk with your Hubby about it.

All the best,
Susan

I.,

Congratulations to you for considering having a baby after 40! I just had my first baby last year (at 40) and it's been the most wonderful thing I could have ever done! I just love my son and can't believe I didn't do it sooner (actually I can since I don't think my husband and I were ready before now). I was really lucky in that my pregnancy was without incident and my son was born healthy (albeit 4 weeks earlier than we expected!). I exercised right up until I delivered (mostly yoga and pilates) and ate as well as I could (I just couldn't stay away from chocolate though). If you're healthy and in good shape I think you can do it too. I appreciated every moment of my pregnancy and couldn't believe it ended so soon. It was the best time of my life.

Good luck to you on your decision,

B. D.

I am not your age but understand why you are apprehensive. BUT you had a child in your late thirties and it was fine. Also, I would like to say I disagree with one of the responses saying that it is selfish. My mom had me when she was 39 and she is my best friend! Also, a sibling is a wonderful gift! I am so grateful for my siblings. They are my best friends too. Good luck!

I had a baby girl at 42. Best thing I ever did.
B. v. O.

i got pregnant at 40 and had my son when i was 41..took me 3 months to get pregnant..had a normal pregnancy..was a week late and gave birth to a super healthy big boy 10.2 lbs..
He's now just over 3 ..doing great..very happy healthy boy. I took DHA pills every day.

I had my first baby at 45, got pregnant in a couple weeks (my first pregnancy and first time I had even tried). I know I'm lucky but my gyno, when I said I was thinking of having kids at 40, told me to start FERTILITY! --and I hadn't even TRIED to get pregnant yet.
I did not follow their advice and thank God, 4 yrs later, almost without trying conceived, right time, right frame of mind, the stars were aligned, totally infatuated with papa, who knows........Pregnancy was awesome and I'm back to pre preg weight after a year and a half. She is very healthy and the only thing I had trouble with was healing after the vaginal birth (but I refused to take pain medication due to breast feeding for almost 6 weeks post partum) I do NOT recommend that. It was very hard. But I don't think that had anything to do with my age. She just weaned herself at 17 months and I don't feel "older" than other moms or odd man out. It seems all moms are older these days. Go for it.

Go for it I., If thats what you really want, do it. I had my last one at 36 & my dr told me I would be too old after that to have any more, I shouldnt have listened to him. as long as you are healthy go for it. good luck & god bless.

You should absolutely try, if that's what you want! I had my daughter at 42 after thinking for years that I'd never have kids. And now, at 46, just gave birth to our son. I did all the testing, just to know what to expect, and everything was perfectly fine w/ both of them. Both were conceived naturally (surprise!)
It's a little odd being the only "old" mom at the play groups and once in a while someone will ask if they're my grandkids, but I wouldn't trade it for anything!
Good Luck

Dear I.,

I was 40 when we conceived naturally, after trying with my (11 years older) husband for 3 years, and 41 3/4 when I gave birth to my son, who is all healthy and happy. I had no complications during the pregnancy, was very active traveling and still working, and enjoyed that time, no morning sickness, no back pain. I kept hiking and swimming, and reading :-) everything about natural childbirth and attachment parenting, and joined La Leche League, a wonderful warm support system for expecting moms and moms of young children.

If you are in good health, and enjoy being a mother, I would say that you will have no problems. 50 is the new 40.

Loving more naturally,
C.

I am not over 40 but I had a baby on my 39th birthday in December and I have another son that is 2 1/2. I don't feel old anywhere I am with the babies and I see more and more "older" moms everywhere I go. I think because of modern technology/infertility treatments, and remarriage we will continue to see more and more older parents. I am glad I had the second baby because I feel like the two siblings will have each other even after we are gone if all goes well. I have two older daughters too.......they are 17 and 19 and are best friends. That was also a huge motivating factor...I have first-hand experience with having two about two years apart and I don't regret it at all.

I had my first (and only!) at 41. The only difficulty was getting pregnant, but the whole pregnancy was a piece of cake! (well, except for the heartburn!) Go for it and good luck!

I'm 41 and pregnant with my second now, first just turned 3yo. My husband wanted another and although I was perfectly content with one, we tried to conceive for almost a year and gave up about June of last year. This baby was a total surprise, then! I'm thinking I may just have forgotten how intense the fatigue is and the first couple months of morning sickness were not fun (especially with my son checking the toilet and asking if I had "spit out that baby yet?" lol). However, now that I've gotten past the worst of the physical aspects and gotten all clear results on my test results, I am nothing but excited, my husband ecstatic, and my son baby-crazy.

Personally, the biggest difference from last pregnancy was the complacency that I could handle anything: With my first son, even though I was already 38, my husband and I opted against all but the most basic of prenatal testing. We decided that we could and would deal with any complications, together. Adding a couple years and, more importantly, a third life that would be affected by such an altruistic approach has drastically changed my attitude this pregnancy.

All I can say is thank God everything is right on course for us to welcome another healthy baby boy into our family in September!

My only advice would be to discuss and make decisions early regarding possible problems and even the simple issues such as how your home would be rearranged if you have a little girl vs another boy.

I was 40 and 42 when I had my last two children. It has been the same with my other children when I carried them,except I was a little heavier. I had gestational diabeties with my firs one and she was breech. My second one, I had no problems with. They are both healthy and have no problems except they both wear glasses. No problems in the pregnancy really with either one of them. They were both term and I had no special tests with them.

J.

I had an oops at 40. and it's hard. but, awsome. For me, I was really monitored by the Dr because of my age. I had more untrasounds than before (and my 2nd I had at 36) There were a few scares, anemia, and a heart thing. But, everything was just fine. I didn't even tell people I was pregnant until after the amnio. there is an increased risk of downs, and I'd suggest just thinking about what you would do if that were the case. Good luck.

Awe go for it!!!! You are still very young. I had my first at 35 and my second at 43. It was the best experience ever. Of course, I choose to go through all of the AMA (Advanced Maternal Age) testing which can add extra costs. Just because my insurance would cover the genetic testing. But other than that the two pregnancies were not different from the other. It's a great gift to give your child a sibling. Best wishes.

Hi. I turned 42 in January. My beautiful, funny and smart son turns 1 on Friday the 8th. I have two other children, 9 1/2 yrs. and nearly 6 yrs. With the last two, I was considered "high risk" because of my age. I took all the tests, did the background on my and my husband's families to see if we were at risk for birth defects, etc... Those can all be very unsettling and even a little scary, but I'm glad they were done. My preg. was just like the other two, and my son is very healthy and "normal". :-) I like being a slightly older mommy. I feel I have a bit more wisdom now than when I was younger, and definitely more patients! I wish you luck and hope everything goes just fine (which I am sure it will). Be sure to begin all your prenatals and the other things to take care of your body and get you ready for the changes it's going to go through.

~L.

Hi I.! I am a mom who had a baby after 40. In fact I had my first child at age 38 and second at 41 so I was a high risk older mom both prgnancies. The second time I had a harder time getting pregant, but the pregnancy was same. There were some problems but nothing major, I had the gestianol diabetes and had to watch my diet and ankle swelling but that was not bad. I had a beautiful baby girl that I wouldn't trade for the world. She just turned 8 2 weeks ago and is still my joy.

Had my first son at 35, second at 37 and third at 40. All healthy babies and great pregnancies. I say, go for it!

I had my first child at almost 41 years-old. I am a single, working mom, and I am so glad that I had him. I had no problems during the pregnancy, a long labor - but no complications, and I do have the energy and ability to be a good mom to him. I actually think I am a better mom at this age than I could have been at any other age. Age 40 is the new 30! Go for it!

Hello I....I had my first child when I was 40 & I am now 45. I never wanted kids until I met my husband. NOW, please take my experience in stride. There is a name for women over 38 called AMA, (Advanced Maternal Age), YIKES! I had an amnio done & thankfully, my son, Robert is a healthy, smart & awesome kid! Well, as for me, I had pre-eclampsia & I was a swollen mass of fluid. I had a tough pregnancy but it was so worth it!! I was not bed ridden, but they had to deliver him 6 weeks early & I was no where near dilated. Labor was long & tough, (3 days) but he is perfect. He was in NICU for 10 days & it was a blessing. I would not have changed anything for the world, because Robert is an amazing boy. NOW, here is the funny part, (not funny when it happened, but funny now)....I had to stay in the hospital for 4 days because of my very high blood pressure. They was a nurse who had a very strong accent. I had to get weighed at least 2 times a day (it sucked to no end!!) Well, this nurse, weighed me for the 1st time & she says very loud, "BOY, YOU FAT!" My mouth dropped. I was so depressed as I was still a swollen mass of fluid. Anyway...I got over it as soon as I held my beautiful baby boy & because I looked at the source from where the insult came from. This nurse hardly spoke english & she had no idea how to talk to patients....I can not have any more kids now, & even if I could, I would not as I am 45 years old & for me, it would be selfish on my part. Having kids at 40 is a great age, as you have more experience & we are smarter...LOL...

Good luck with your pregnancy & be happy. NO STRESS ALLOWED WHEN YOU ARE PREGNANT!! Looking forward to hearing from you again!
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