My daughter is 12 and has just become interested in boys. She has been asked out by several boys and has a huge crush on a boy. I'm not ok with her dating yet and she knows it. Thankfully we have a great relationship and she talks to me about this stuff. So my question is when is a good age to start dating?
Thanks to everyone for your answers! :D We have decided that she may have friends that are boys and hang out with them. But actual dating will have to wait until high school. She's just not old enough or mature enough to handle dating type situations. Spending time with male friends will be helpful to building relationships and learning how to act with and around the oppiset sex.
Our rule is only group gatherings until 16. Our kids love to have kids over for game night, movies, bake-offs, BBQs, etc. And they still do those group activities--even the 19-year-old! It's a fun way for the kids to spend time together and you still get to supervise!
have fun!
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Kids don't turn into grownups overnight (thank goodness) and so dating is a relative term. It's understandable to have a crush when you're 12, but I don't think kids should be dating (one on one) until they are at least 16. At this age, I think it's great if kids can hang out in a supervised group. Maybe have her crush over for homework, watch a movie, or stay for dinner. That's great that you have a good relationship and now is the time to talk about all the serious stuff as she is more apt to listen and trust you now (soon enough she'll be depending on her friends for information). Remember all the things you wish someone had told you at this age (crushes, hurt feelings, learning who you can trust, etc)
My personal thoughts are that dating has one express purpose: looking for a marriage partner.
With that said, Why would a young person date, if for nothing else than random sexual experiences? Including kissing and petting. Dating before it is time for marriage only pushes a child that much closer to doing adult acts - acts that should be done during marriage with your soul mate.
I just don't see why it would be wise to put an human being in a position where they can be sexually tempted. Young girls can easily think the first boy who wants to kiss them is thinking the same pie in the sky fairy tale thoughts she is (they will ride away in a carriage into the future and live happily ever after). Reality shows us boys don't think this way. Youngsters just don't understand the weight that these early experiences can have on the rest of their lives. I think it is best to WAIt wait wait. Any child under 17 should be chaparoned.
She is young to actually date, but groups going out to the movies, roller skating is fine.. Maybe you should invite groups of kids over to your house for pizza and a game night..Or to watch a video.. That is what our daughter and her friends did.. It was a more casual way for the kids to have fun.. It was also great to invite the parents inside when they dropped off their kids..
We parents would visit and really got to know each other and are all still good friends..
I agree that 16 is a good age to start dating...really it is kind of strange to be "dating" when you can't even drive.
Growing up my parents set a rule of "no dating until I was 16". There were times I was upset with this rule but in the end I was glad to have a good excuse ("I'm not allowed") to say "no" to dating and not have to deal with all the stuff that comes with it. People get married later and later, kids have PLENTY of years to date. No need to rush into it, childhood is far too short.
I don't know if there is a set age to start dating and it really depends on you and your daughter and what is considered "dating." I can share my own situation with my now 14 year old daughter, but it may not apply to you at all. She had a huge crush on a boy about the same age as your daughter. In her case, dating just meant that when they went out in a group they would say they were a couple. Even so it caused a huge amount of drama and the relationship finally imploded (thankfully) within a few months because "he had needs." After that I had a long discussion with her and we decided that we wouldn't revisit the dating question until she turned 16 (although we are currently in negotiations to lower that to 15). Dating puts a lot of pressure on a girl and in my case being able to say "I'm not allowed to date" gives my daughter an easy out. The biggest thing is to make sure the lines of communication are open between you and your daughter and understand that you can change your mind later.
Maybe around 15. My daughter is eleven and has a 'serious' crush on a boy
=) Maybe your family and his can get together at the park, local cafe, etc
