26 answers

Pre-teen Daughter's Sadness

Hi Moms. I'm seeking help/advice for my pre-teen daughter who has episodes of unexplained sadness. I've noticed this over the past few months (probably since Jan) that every now and then she is sad and cries. When I talk to her about it she says she can't explain/don't know why she's sad. I think it may be hormonal...she is 12 y.o. and haven't yet started her period. It usually pass after a couple of days although she's never cried as often as she has over the past day or two. I've tried to remember if I had this sadness before I started my period years ago, however, I don't remember being this sad. I've asked all of the questions re. other things that may be causing her to be sad but again she says she doesn't know why she's sad. Any advice to help her thru this? Any other moms dealt w/this before?
Thank you for any feedback.

1 mom found this helpful

What can I do next?

So What Happened?™

Moms.......I can't thank you enough for the great advice I've received. I have already started tracking what's going on with her when she seems sad and will be purchasing some of the materials suggested and sharing alone time, etc. In addition, I am encouraged to know others have successfully made it thru periods like this and others are like me walking our way thru it.

God Bless each of you. He has already blessed us by sending such thoughtful moms!

Featured Answers

Take her to the doctor. I have major depressive episodes that started when I was 11. Had I been diagnosed, I don't think I would have had the breakdown I had in college - which is what ultimately led to my diagnosis.

Cognitive behavioral therapy with or without medication makes a world of difference.

S.

1 mom found this helpful

If it continues you may want to see a Dr. to see if her physycal body is o.k., but I remember when I was about to start my period I was very emotional, & I didn't know why, but it stopped when I started my period.

I haven't dealt with any of this with my 14 yr old daughter so I don't think it's normal but I do have a question... have you recently put her on singulair or any other medicine? I'm asking because when my son (9) was put on singulair a couple of years ago he went through the exact same thing. He cried all the time, didn't want to get out of bed, and was always sad. When I finally realized it started when he started the medication I immidiately took him off of it and within a week he was back to his normal happy go lucky, extremely active kid.

More Answers

I was this way off and on throughout my teenage years. Someone could just look at me and I'd start bawling. In college I finally decided I had to be suffering from depression, so I began going to counseling and eventually taking medication. In my opinion, it may be chemical imbalances due to the upcoming hormonal changes corresponding to getting her period. You should definitely speak to your doctor. I realize she is young, and you don't want her taking unneccesary medication, but you also don't want her suffering if it can be helped. Thank you so much for being such a caring mother and believing her when she says she doesn't know why she's sad. She really doesn't. Give her lots of hugs.

2 moms found this helpful

Take her to the doctor, NOW!

Her pediatrician or your gyn. May need a referral to specialist. But, please don't put this off! She needs help now! Before she hits the drugs or starts cutting herself or something.

2 moms found this helpful

I was just like that when I was her age. I, just like Jessica, went to a counselor and ended up on meds. Mine turned out to be anxiety. I'm still a very nervous person. I would take her to her pediatrician they might recommend a neurologist or counselor. I think the pre-teen years are hard for everyone. Hang in there.

1 mom found this helpful

As someone who has suffered from depression I would take her to the doctor to get her checked out. You are welcome to email me if you want to talk ____@____.com
L.

1 mom found this helpful

Yes, take her to the doctor. When I had severe PPD I found out that if you suffer such episodes before/during your cycle, it is a sign that you will have depression later on. I was a VERY emotional child when I was PMSing..I started my period at age 10 and was the one kid in the entire grade picked on because of my "maturity".

It is a shame that depression hits so young these days, but look at what this young generation is going though these days.

Praying for you and your daughter,
J.

1 mom found this helpful

Take her to the doctor. I have major depressive episodes that started when I was 11. Had I been diagnosed, I don't think I would have had the breakdown I had in college - which is what ultimately led to my diagnosis.

Cognitive behavioral therapy with or without medication makes a world of difference.

S.

1 mom found this helpful

This is probably normal but there are so many things it could be. My daughter and I found a great doctor's office off Preston near the Plano Parkway. It is called Girls to Women and they are very helpful with the transition. The doctors are pediatricians and they have counselors they can refer you to if you think that might help. The have programs and classes your daughter can attend to help her know her feelings are normal and build her self-esteem. The website is: http://www.gtw-health.com. Look it over. I just wish I had found it earlier for my daughter who is now 18. Good luck it is a hard time for some girls!

Hi Mary she is probally going through a chemical imbalance and I wouldnt hurry her to the doctor just yet. Maybe try distracting her a little bit right now its summer and she may just have too much down time and really able to dwell in her sadness brought on by pms. Maybe when you notice the episode arise and she "doesnt know why" you can get her mind off of it by doing something active that you both enjoy. If the problem becomes severe, mood swings and deepened sadness then I would go see a doctor.

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