Pre-school for a 2 1/2 Year Old - Whippany,NJ

C., As a previous nursery school teacher/assistant, I would first ask you if your daughter has any other type of social interaction with other children, like play dates etc..? I have seen where children are academically ready depending on the interaction that parents have with their child. However, one area that parents need help in preparing a child for pre-school and regular school is the socialization piece. Being that this is a once a week program, she is an only child, this would be a great benefit for her and you. A child can learn most anything academically, but socialization comes with interaction with other children and other adults. Being able to adjust to various personalities and situation such as sharing, seat time and structure will help them adapt to to pre-school programs much easier. I have three children. All of which attended a nursery and pre-school program. They did great, and it was a less stressful situation as they entered kindergarten. They were able to concentrate on the academic portion of kindergarten, while enjoying the socialization piece. Separation bothered me more than them, which is what your hope should be.

personally i think 2.5 is too young for pre-k
here you have to be 3 or 4 for pre-k in like a private setting. most churches do pre-k here. my first never did pre-k. i was home with her all the time and she was so smart and i had been doing daycare since she was 1.5 yrs so the interaction withother children she got that
my 2nd child was 4 weeks premature, had differences from her big sis and had to have speech intervention. still had the same intereaction with the dc kids but she had a thick cord so to speak ;o) attached to me like glue. we did pre-k with her at the reg school but you had to be 4 to participate. now shes in Kindergarten and i see how much it has helped her to grow
JMO but i think if you are considering a pre-k for the 2.5 yr old i would maybe re-consider maybe doing a play-date once a week with another mom and child(ren). you can still be there for your child but he/she is still getting the interaction with other kids you want. my youngest was 2 last august and yes she is attached too and my dc is pretty slow now so she doesnt get the interaction i would like but shes good with other kids and does reasonably ok when i am away from her and i would consider pre-k for her just for more interaction when she gets to be 4 yrs old. shes 2x as smart as my oldest was at this age so learning is not a factor for me for pre-k. some kids need both learning and interaction.
hope this helped and i didnt seem babbling
A.

My daughter started about 2 months after she turned 2. She attends 2 days a week because most places I know won't do less than 2. At the time she was also the only child in the home. Since then we have had her brother. It has been wonderful for my daughter because she does like to play with other kids, plus they offer her some structured learning on different themes each month. She enjoys her time there and she is excited when I pick her up. I think it helps her to understand that even when I go away for a little while I will come back. Not to mention it gives mommy a little time. Just enough to run some errands, clean a little or just relax before you get back into constant mommy mode.

Do what you think will be most beneficial for your daughter. YES it will be hard to drop her off the first time, but it gets easier for both of you once you have a routine. Make sure you interview different schools and check every reference possible. Talk to other moms. This can be a very positive experience for you both when you are ready to take that step.

Good Luck. Whatever you do will be right for you.
Cris

At our libraries there are different toddler play groups that are good for socialization and interaction with other children of similiar ages. You don't drop them off but interact with them and other moms or dads of other toddlers. It seems hectic the first few times of going but I enjoyed it while my little ones were not quite ready for a pre-school program.

I say cut the cord! But one day a week for 2 1/2 hours is not a lot of time. The more interaction she has with other little ones, the more prepared she will be for her transition into Kindergarten.

I sat with the same question about six months ago. I have 2.5 year old twins that my husband and I decided to enroll in a 2-year old co-oping program at a local church. I enrolled them knowing that if I ever felt that it wasn't good for them, or us, I could pull them out. Another big plus was that this was a co-oping program where I'm in the classroom with them 1-2 times per month (each of the parents take turns). What can I say - they love it! Not only is it a time for socialization with other kids their age, but they learn! Every time we leave school they have a different project they've made to take home. They learn songs, colors, counting, sharing, problem solving, conflict resolution, etc.

Overall, it's been harder for me to let go than for them to make the transition! Ultimately, it's your decision! If you decide to enroll your daughter, make sure it's in a program that won't penalize you (monetarily) if you should decide that the program isn't for you!

Good luck!

It is totally a decision for you and your daughter. If you really feel she is ready to be alone and you feel you are ready to let her go for a few hours then try it out. It also depends on the kind of enrichment you feel you can offer her, the circle of friends she has already, the time spent with other kids. Myself, I started with the Rockland Parent Child Center mommy and baby playgroup and both my kids got used to being in that environment with me there from the time they were babies. It made the transition to Nursery School pretty seamless as many of the kids from that environment continued on together. I also kept "the cord" intact until I felt we were both ready to let go for a bit. Both my kids are extremely independant and yet their paths to Nursery School were unique to who they were. If you are anywhere near Nyack, I suggest you start with RPCC, you'll gain a lot of insight and it's a great transition.

Hey C.,

I think in the case of your daughter being an only child, it is important,

Something she might enjoy, are, sticky fingers, and science classes for toddlers,

We have one around my area, and the parents sit in with the kids,

this way she gets what she needs, and so do you.

try local children and toddlers classes, in your town and nearby towns,

OURS is at the Childrens museum in Bristol CT

M

I wonder why you feel the need to "cut the cord" at this tender young age. Have you considered joining a class of some sort that you both go to.(storytime at a library, music etc.)She will get the socialization you mention with the support of mom and as far as the independence, it will happen in her own time I assure you. These young years go by all too fast but are of the upmost importance for your child, building a strong bond with you that will carry her thru life. Of my own children (there are 4 grown) some were ready at 3 1/2 and others not till 4 1/2 to attend pre-school and then only 2 or 3 mornings a week, today you cannot tell which ones went earlier than the other but that they are all well adjusted married adults with children of their own. Of my two children thru adoption (ages 10 and 12, one went at 3 1/2 just 2 mornings a week and the other I didn't have till 2, so he stayed home with me till almost 5 to build that family bond. He is in 4th grade now and a happy child doing well in school as is his brother. Who could ask for more... so don't rush it but enjoy your one on one time with her. I know the trend may be different today but change is not always better. I hope I helped in some way.

I have 3 kids and with each of them I did a Mommy and Me type of class. They pretty much ignored me and went about doing their own thing but it gave me a chance to talk to adults and make friends myself. It also gave me the opportunity to check out the preschool, get to know the teachers which helped me figure out which classes I wanted to eventually put them in and all of my children were already comfortable with the school when they started going on their own.

I felt the same way, even with my third child! Every child is different! She'll let you know when she is ready! There are alot of play groups, there is one through Rockaway Township called "First Friends", and you stay and play with your child. It's fun too, cause you meet other parents. Also, try your local library, they always have tons of activities. My second didn't go to preschool till he was 4 years old, to be honest, I need to save money, and since I was home, I didn't feel he needed to go to school. But boy, was he ready to leave the nest by 4 years old! He's first day of school, he kept shooing me away! Good luck!

I found it to be very difficult to attend 1 day a week. My son was upset everytime I dropped him off. The next year when he went three days, he loved it and had no problem adjusting to the schedule and new friends. I did not send my daughter to the 1 day class because of this. She is doing great this year in her three day class. She was never away from me until that first day of school!!! Good luck

We started sending our daughter for 2 half days when she turned 2 to see how she liked it. As it turned out, she absolutely loves it and now we send her 3 full days. I think it's really beneficial It gives her the opportunity to social with other kids and she learns so much. She can count to 20 and recognize most of the numbers and she knows the entire alphabet and most of the letters. Start with a day or two and see how she likes it. Good Luck!

I have a 26 month old daughter who is also an only child and who also stays home with me. I have yet to put her into a daycare but have thought about it just as you have, my thoughts are I would assume it is probably helpful for them to build some social skills as well as a feeling for independence. It will be hard for me to let go but eventually we all have to. Hope it helps just to know that there is another mommy out there who feels the same.

If you don't feel right leaving your child in daycare, don't. I would join a mom's group and set up play dates, etc. to have some social time. Also realize that social time at this age will consist of mostly crying, hitting, pushing and taking things away from each other. Only do what you feel is right for your family.

I had my daughter in pre-school at that age for two years. She loved it, it taught her it's ok to be with out mommy for awhile and I feel it got her ready for kindergarden!!! They teach about sharing, 'cubby's', structured activity, & separation from home. Look into a pre-school and pick the one that you feel most comfortable with and go with it. My daughter is now 14 years old and still to this day talks about her pre-school, and how she remembers the fun she had.
Good luck :) & take lots of pics of her at the school, she'll love it when she gets older :)

I think it depends on the child. My daughter has always been a little social butterfly so I put her in at 2.5 so she could have kids to play with. A mom recently asked me why I have her in there (she is advanced and I am not particularly crazy about the curriculum resources they use). My response was that what I want her to know I can teach her at home (I also worked in preschools). I send her to have fun and play with other kids. Also so she can get used to some structure. My son comes home from Kindergarten every day exhausted. He bounces off the walls when he comes home because he is not used to so much structure, then promptly crashes for about an hr.
I'd be happy to answer anything I can from the parent and teacher perspective if you want to email me. (____@____.com)

N.

Hi C.,

2.5 to 3 hours is the normal length of the nursery school day; if you live an an area with 1/2 day kindergarten, 2.5 hours is the school day so it's really not beneficial to send the kids for a longer preschool day.

That said, I would not choose a one day a week program. Your daughter is very young, and especially if she doesn't do well with separation, just going one day a week won't get her into the routine of preschool. Kids that age typically don't settle in when they have to relearn the separation, the routine, etc each week - or longer if she misses a week due to a holiday falling on her school day, illness, snow day, etc.

When my oldest was preschool age, I opted not to send her at 3 years (she was already in a daycare setting with other kids her age fulltime), and instead sent her to a half day program at 4 years old - they bus picked her up and dropped her off at daycare. This school let you choose full, half or 3/4 day, and 2, 3 or 5 days a week. Since she'd be going to 1/2 day K, I chose a half day program but opted to send her all 5 days, just like what K would be like

When my 2nd was preschool age, I was primarily a SAHM, only worked a bit and I sent him at 3 years old ... a year earlier than my daughter, because he didn't have the exposure to other kids that my daughter did since he was not in daycare and he wasn't as advanced in his academic skills as she was. The school we chose had a 2 day a week program for 3 hours for the 3 year olds, and the next year he went to their 4 year old program which was 3 mornings a week.

Good luck in making your choice!

I am a stay at home momwith 5 children ages 11, 9, 8 , 4 and almost 2. My kids hve all attneded a great nursery school that included lots of socialization and academics to a degree. I have tried the 2 1/2 year old program with 3 of them and in my opinion it is a waste of money. It is babysitting. My almost 2 year old will not attend it and I will wait until she is 3. Look for a play group in your area. I have done this too and is more benficial for them. NOt only does she/he get to socialize but you too will make some lasting friendships. Even though there is no seperation here, you do get some enjoyment out of it also.
Save your money for next year when you can possibly leave her for lunch or an extra day! Good Luck

Hi C.,

If you want your child to develop independence and socialization skills why not try Mommy & Me classes? There are some great programs out there that will promote social growth and independence as well as motor skills(ex.Little Gym) My friends put their children in nursery school, it gave them a couple of "free" hours each week and it helped their children with organization skills. I prefer the classes that I can be involved with for now. When your daughter turns 3 years old you can put her in drop-off sports/dance/gymnastics programs (where you have the option of staying to watch or leaving)

Good luck.

pre-school...no matter how old the child is will be harder for you than the child...I have sent my child to preschool at 2....he's my fourth and has a dec birthday....he loved it...I personally think it's great for him to have something to look forward too...is it needed, no....maybe as a mommy break to get groceries, but they can wait...soon enough they will all go off to kindergarden...I waited til 3 for my first 3 and I don't see any advantage that the 4th has over them....I did it mostly so he would have something special to do....instead of always be dragged to his brothers stuff....an interactive mommy and me group would be a great alternative....that way you and your daughter both get to have fun...I don't think there is a right answer, just a right for you...

Hi C.,
My guess is it will be much harder for you than for her! My son has been in a wonderful daycare 2 days a week since he was 4 months old, and I belong to a MOMs club with a lot of full-time SAHMs. A few of them have commented that they actually think my son has been better off because of the socialization and exposure to different ideas, experiences, concepts, caregivers, etc. I have him a NAEYC (National Association for the Education of Young Children) accredited daycare, which meets voluntary standards taht are much higher than the state licensing standards. I have had some struggles with having him in someone else's care but I have to say that in SOOOOO many ways, it has been an overwhelmingly positive experience for him AND for us as his parents. We have learned that he is ready for many things before we would have thought, and he definitely benefits from being around other children and taking direction from other adults.

I think the key is having confidence in the quality of the care you are putting her in, and watching that you don't infect her with YOUR anxiety about having her be away from you. Remember that in most cultures, children are not raised in isolation from other children and without other caregivers--we are an anomaly in the U.S. with our individualistic mindset that tends to define family in very limited isolated units (at least for middle & upper-class families). Even full-time SAHMs in other cultures tend to have more contact and support from family and "fictive kin" than we do in the U.S.

Good luck with your decision!
K.