Potty Training Without Pull-ups

Updated on January 18, 2008
M.L. asks from Tarpon Springs, FL
21 answers

Okay, so my daughter has been showing many signs she is ready for the potty for a few months now. (Sitting on the potty, telling me when she is wet, most recently pulling off her diaper and screaming when I try to put a new one on) I have heard from a few moms, the best way is to get rid of all diapers and pull-ups and just put them in underwear and they will be potty trained in a few days, maybe a week. I put it off because I was newly pregnant and very tired and not up to the mess. Well, we started today, and she is not even attempting to go on the potty. Is this normal for the first day? She pees and poops in the underwear, and doesn't want to go on the potty. I thought by the end of the first day she would at least be attempting the potty. Am I wrong? Is it too early? Please help!

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A.K.

answers from Jacksonville on

M.,
All my kids showed signs that they were ready at about that age but never actually worked to go potty until about 2-2 1/2. I wouldnt do away with the pullups just yet otherwise you will just have a terrible mess to clean up all the time. Plus even when she actually does go potty on a regular basis she will still need the pullup for at night until she stops having accidents. Good luck.
A.

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T.F.

answers from Jacksonville on

My son was resistant to the potty at first, but he would go occassionally. He got to the point where he would poop in it, but would pee in those pull ups just like a diaper. They were the same to him because they still don't feel very wet after they pee. Even the ones that are supposed to be feel and learn did not work for us. He just did not mind being wet. He was going to daycare so they helped out too, but I ended up trying the naked method. While we were at home let her go without any bottoms on for a bit and watch her. If she starts to go pee stop her and get her to the bathroom. It did not take my son long to grasp this idea that it was not ok to go anywhere except the potty. Once we got a start with that, then I stopped wasting money on pull ups and went to underwear. Yes, you will have some messes to clean up so have a extra outfit ready, but it just takes time and routine. I also found some underwear liners by gerber that I would put in the underwear in case he pooped. Then, I could just take the liner out with most if not all of the poop in it and flush it. Much easier to dispose of. She is still quite young so expect that this won't happen over night. Good luck!

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M.H.

answers from Sarasota on

I think that technique works great on older kids. I think you might be pushing a bit too hard for 20 months. I friend of mine has a little girl who was almost trained at this age and has since regressed at a little over 2 years old. I think they should be aloud to go through these phases until they are into their third year. If today is the same, she is not ready.

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K.B.

answers from Tampa on

I have taken a potty training class and what I was told was that at around 18 months most children show an interest in the potty - it is a false interest though. 2 and 1/2 years is the norm for a girl to start potty training and 3 years for a boy. I took the class when my daughter was around 20 months old because she showed an interest and has always been a head of the game on most milestones. I took the class and was very enlightened and decided to wait. Of course I supported her "interest" and bought her a portable potty so that she could sit on in when I went to the bathroom and a potty ring for the big potty so she could try things out when she wanted. The interest soon faded. Around her 2 and a 1/2 age mark we started reading books and talking about the potty for a month or so. Then I asked her if she wanted to learn to use the potty and she was very excited to start. She was already waking up from her naps dry and sometimes she would be dry in the morning. I talked to her about what training was all about - that we would be staying at home and doing fun things for awhile so that she could feel close to the potty and whatnot. I got a glass jar together w/ mini M&M's and put it on the counter. When she tried to use the potty she got one mini M&M. When she actually went pee on the potty she got 2 mini M&M's and then when she went #2 on the potty she got 3 M&M's. The portable potty was put out in the kitchen/living room on the tile. She wore no panties or diapers - just a T-shirt. At first she would not get off the potty. So she was sucessful every time she went. That lasted about a day and 1/2 and her confidence built and she would start playing w/ her toys but close to the potty. By the 3rd day she was running around the house and getting to the potty on time. After about 6 days I moved the potty to the hallway outside the bathroom and from there she just went to the big potty but she felt safe that the portable potty was in the hallway which was closer for her. We also made up a potty song that she loved and sang it everytime she was successful. She was trained w/in a week and a 1/2. We went straight to panties and tried pull ups at night but she always woke up dry and or woke up and told us she needed to go potty so we got rid of the pull ups and went straight to panties. Remember they have to have accidents in order to learn to control their bodies so accidents are inevitable - it is part of the process. Just ignor them - wipe and clean up.

The class I took was at Baby Bungalow in South Tampa on Azeele. They have a website. The class was 5.00 and they had supervised play for all the kids while the parents were in class. It was great and really eased my anxiety.

K.

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B.W.

answers from Tampa on

She may be taking a step back. My daughter was like this. She is now very slowly going back to sitting on the potty once in awhile. Keep up with the underwear though. It may be messy but because I am sure will not want to stay wet in underpants for long. My son refused to use the potty untill his preschool and my husband and I started putting him in underwear except when we were in the car or out someplace.
He started using the potty to go pee very quickly since he hated the wet underwear. After awhile he realized he would rather use the potty to go poop than to feel it in his underwear. I may end up doing this with my daughter also.
Also Both of my kids will only go on our pottys. My son would only use our potty. We tried out 3 or 4 before we realized that at school he used the big potty and perfered that. We bought a seat to go on top so that he would not fall in. My daughter will not use the other pottys because she sees her brother using the big potty. So when we can actually get her to use the potty we put the little seat on top of the potty and she sits down.
Good Luck!

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M.S.

answers from Orlando on

i couldn't use pullups or underwear. all my boys would pee in them. i had to let them run around the house in the buff. but they would always go pee in the potty. the poo took alittle longer. i have a 2 yr old now that is wanting to potty train. but if i go to the store i have to put him in pullups.

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K.G.

answers from Las Vegas on

Hi M.,
I would think that 20 months is a little too early for potty training, but there are kids out there who have trained that early. My dear mother likes to inform me that my sister and I were trained before two, but being a military brat, she might have been running her own mini squadron! Once you do start the process, there are panties out there that have extra padding in them to contain a little more of the mess. You can find them at Target or Babies R Us. I used them for both my daughter and son. They made my kids feel like they were wearing big boy/girl pants and kept the carpet, couch and clothes a little cleaner. Good luck.

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M.C.

answers from Orlando on

It is not too early, but you need to fully understand what is involved BEFORE you actually start the potty training. Go to easypottytraining.com, buy the little book, read it and prepare yourself first. Do you know what you are going to use as a reward? Are you prepared to clean up a lot of mess? Are you prepared to spend all day thinking, talking, and going potty for a few days? If you are not ready, it won't happen no matter how ready you think your child is. I have five children, four girls (7,5,4,2) and a baby boy (7 mo). I used this method of potty training all of my girls, they were potty trained at 18,24,19, and 20 months respectively. You need to weigh all the pros and cons before you start. If you do it this young they will be out of diapers, but they will need you to help them to to the bathroom every time until they are old enough to physically do it themselves, 6 months or so (pulling their pants down and getting on the potty is hard at that size). To me, that is worth getting them out of diapers. I have not had 2 in daipers for more than a 3 month overlap, and I value that. I personally believe that you have this early window to do it in, and if you miss out at this age you need to just wait until they are 2 and a half or 3. Right after this stage, they become very independent and stubborn and can not be "forced" into potty training no matter how ready you are at that point. Each of my girls was different. My second had an accident every time for the first two days and on the third day she woke up and never missed again. My third, took the full three days and a little into the fourth and every once in a while still had other accidents over the next 6 months. My fourth and most challenging child, quickly got the peeing, but would not tell me when she needed to poop in the potty for about two months after that. I quickly learned her natural pooping times and would take her to sit on the potty every few min. during that time until she went. You should also know that it is normal (at least for all of my kids, and some friends kids who were not potty trained as early) to relapse 8-12 months later (just peeing). I think they start experimenting with how long they can hold it before they actully go. But that never lasted more than 2 weeks or so. So, there are pros and cons to everything - what do you value most? Less work for you, longer in diapers - or a little more work, no more diapers? Your answer may not be the same as someone elses and that is OK - you are pregnant after all!! Good luck!

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T.P.

answers from Tampa on

I hit the panic button too early too. Don't worry! I think it takes about 3-7 days before they really get the connection. My son seemed like he was deliberately doing it any time he wasn't on the potty! The turning point for me was when I got 100% motivated and took him to the potty, no questions asked, every 45 mins....then 1 hr....etc. Now he rarely has an accident and it has been less than a month.
Keep up the good work:)

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S.B.

answers from Jacksonville on

Yes this is very normal. I started potty training when my daughter was around 20 months. I began on a Friday night and it was great - she still wore a diaper to bed. Saturday was a nightmare. She would go in her panties right after I took her off the potty. Sunday was wonderful. She maybe had two accidents and by Monday she was good to go. She is 3 yrs old now and once in awhile we will have an accident and she still wears pull-ups to bed but at naptime she sleeps in her panties. I will tackle that issue in the next few weeks. It is a very frustrating thing to tackle but once she understands it's great. Good luck.

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C.S.

answers from Tampa on

Hi M..

I did have great success with my now 6 year old with the no pull ups / diaper method. She was literally trained in 3 days!! However, we kept her totally naked (no undies or anything) from the waste down. I planned 3 days that I did not have to go anywhere and we just stayed at home and focussed on that. The first time she started to go, I grabbed her mid stream, put her on the potty and praised her like crazy. You have to give her lots of liquid and have her sit on the potty about every 45 minutes whether she has to go or not. We would give Mikayla (our daughters name too) 2 M&M's for trying and 3 if she went. We did put her in underwear at night and put the potty in her room. We doubled up her sheets (matress protector - sheet - another mattress protector - another sheet), so that if she did have an accident at night it was very easy to change.

Don't get frustrated if she doesn't catch on right away. Remember, 2 1/2 is usually an ideal age to start girls. You're better off waiting longer that trying to train too soon. If you use this method, you'll know in a couple of days whether she's really ready or not.

Hope that help. I'm here if you have any more questions.

Little about me - SAHM - mother of 3. 6 y/o girl, 2 y/o boy, 10 month old girl.

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J.K.

answers from Fort Myers on

I think you should wait a bit longer. A few more months and she might be able to understand more of what is expected. If you still have problems, check out this technique I used with all three of my kids.
Worked like a charm in one day!
http://www.amazon.com/Toilet-Training-Less-Than-Day/dp/06...
Good luck.
J.

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M.R.

answers from Orlando on

I've heard that too. Forgo the diapers.

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J.B.

answers from Orlando on

Hey M.,

We are in the throes of potty training our almost 3 (end of February) daughter. She also gave us all the signs that she was ready around 24 months, and we got her a potty and the little seats to put on the big potty for when she wanted to try. Sometimes she would go on the potty with very little prompting or all by herself, and other times she would not go at all. We had her in pull ups then. We decided over the holiday to get rid of the pull ups and really make a go of it. She had several days where she would mess her pants, but after 3 weeks, she now goes to the potty all by herself (both 1 and 2, and even at night!). Yes, I cleaned up the first day, but after that, if she made a mess on the floor, she had to get the towel and dry it up and go get a new pair of panties. I think when we went that route, she caught on real fast that she didn't like cleaning up! We have wood floors, so not a big deal for us, but if we had carpet, I think it would be worse. I think it is okay to try now, and lots of kids are ready at her age, but maybe she's not. Go with your gut, but do expect to clean up a little at first! Good luck! J.

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N.P.

answers from Tampa on

hi M., i was reading your thing and giggled to myself b/c I am a mother to a 19 month old girl Tegan, and I too am expecting #2 July 12 2008!! How funny!! when was Makayla born? Tegan was born June 9 2006. and we are talking of potty training now and all that but not quite where you are yet. so i don't have advice on it but i can advise a book i just bought, someone i trust recommended it to me. title is Toilet Training in Less than a Day, by Azrin & Foxx. so i am startign to read it now. wish i could give more advise. either way i felt connected b/c our girls are the same age and we're both preg. with #2. take care, N. oh yes i loev every minute of it too!!

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S.L.

answers from Fort Walton Beach on

When I started potty training my son he would also pee in his underwear. I thought he might think they were his diapers so I took them off. He didn't have any more accidents after that. After a few weeks I put them back on. Now he only puts a diaper on (or asks for one) if he has to poop, still are working on that one, or when he's sleeping.
Good luck!!

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S.H.

answers from Gainesville on

We just are going through this with my daughter (30 mos) and the only thing that worked was letting her have accidents in her panties for a day or two. It was only 4 accidents and then she seemed to get it. I'm sure we are in for more, but we use the potty almost exclusively now (not naps or night). I think the precursor to this was letting her go naked. Once they won't have accidents when they go naked, they are ready to learn about wearing clothes. I'm of course, not a professional :) Good Luck!

M.S.

answers from Ocala on

Your little one is learning. She has only been in this world for 20 months. Take it easy MOM everything is OK.

When you feel like potty training her just stay with the diapers for about 2 weeks and use them like a pull up.
Put a timer on for about every 20 to 25 minutes and when it goes off tell her that it is time to go pee pee or that you want her to try to go #2 on the potty.

When you feel like she understands what is really going on then go ahead and buy PULL UPS and tell her that only BIG GIRLS get to us pull ups and tell her how proud of her that you are that she is growing up.

She will have mistakes and plenty of them. BE NICE and make sure that your face says that you are NOT MAD AT HER.

She loves you and she wants to make you happy. Let her know that you are so very happy with her.

If she has an accident tell her that you know that it was an accident and that you know that she is trying hard to go on the potty and that you know that she can do it next time.

give lots of hugs and kisses.

They grow up oh so fast.
Enjoy them every minute of the day and thank the LORD for having a HEALTHY child.

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L.S.

answers from Montgomery on

Have you tried or do you pretend to use it while she has to? I do this with my 21 mo. old. I ask her if she has to go and then I pretend that I have to use it as well. Or everytime I go she goes with me and sits there. Most of the time she has to potty when I go. I know that most teachers ask about every 5 min. if the child has to go and then takes them and puts them on the potty. Hope that this helps.

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J.S.

answers from Orlando on

Try the butt-naked method;)Panties feel like a diaper/pull-up and give your daughter that false sense of security, so try leaving her naked from the waist down. this way she knows there's nothing there to catch it and she doesn't want to make a mess on the floor or furniture. If that doesn't work she may be too young still. Also, there's a good chance that if she is potty trained by the time the baby gets here, she could revert back as a means to get attention like the new baby, just a heads up. Good luck!!

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W.K.

answers from Orlando on

Hi M.!
I took a week off of work to potty train my son (2 1/2 yr @ the time) but you'll need time & repetition in order for it to be effective (also patience!) It's a gradual stage for them & there will be disappointments in between.
Step 1: Bathroom w/you: I know this is going to sound disgusting, but let her in the bathroom w/you when you go & show it to her & say the key words "pee pee & poo poo" so she knows that's where it belongs.
Step 2: Morning training; sit & wait, then coffee!: I knew he would do #2 in the morning, so I sat him on the toilet & read books with him (for hours at a time), with no luck the first couple days & of course, he went in his pull-ups later that day. The 3rd day (in the morning) I had it & my sister made coffee, we gave him a little & sat him on the toilet. 10 minutes later, he was going, and we clapped and let him see the poo poo, like he saw ours - maybe they will relate that way.
Step 3: Naked kid - After that glorious day, we reinforced him sitting on the potty & the word 'poo poo' & had some accidents in between. I also let him walk around 'butt-naked' with no shorts or pull-ups because I read somewhere that it makes them more concious of going or maybe they relate that with potty (no pants when they go) so that ended up working for me as well. Removing diaper or shorts also takes away there comfort zone b/c they were conditioned to poop there (or onto something) to begin with. I hope this helps, let me know how it goes & write me with the outcome! The best of luck to you :) W. K.

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