Potty Training Resistance @ 33 Months

My son is 30 months and for the last coupl of weeks didn't tell us when he had to go. We stopped asking if he needed to go or asking if we should try and go. We got to the point where we said "it is time to go potty", or "it is time to sit on the toilet". We got a lot less resistance and honestly just in the last couple of days he has either told me he needed to go or would just go on his own and then call me when he needed help wiping. He has also been dry every night for the last week so we are going to try underpants this week for night time and see how that goes.

Good luck, I think it is about persistance and don't give up she'll get.

A little about me: Working mother of a 21/2yo boy and a 13m yo girl. They are the joys of my life and my husband is the best man in the world wouldn't make it without him.

It IS a control thing with her. In my opinion, kids get potty trained when THEY want to be potty trained.

Hi M.,

I have four boys. My first two were very easy to potty train. The first one was potty trained before he was a year and a half old. The second was potty trained completely just after his second birthday, although with a little more resistance. My third son is by far the most resistant and stubborn. He is 2 1/2 and I just now finally managed to get him potty trained during the day (even if we go somewhere) and not at night yet. When I first tried with him, he had just turned two, and he was terrified of the toilet. He would scream like he was dying when I put him on it. I kept pushing him to go and the more I pushed, the more he would refuse and become resistant to it. When I finally gave up and put him back in diapers for awhile, he finally wanted to go. He started by getting out of the tub and just sitting on the potty on his own, when he had to go.

Is there any particular thing that your d

She is probably having a hard time pulling herself away from what she is doing. Many kids get so busy playing they don't want to stop to go pee, so they have an accident, and keep going. I would NOT go back to diapers! I would let her stay wet a while and see how she does. Odds are, she won't like it.

This sounds a lot like my 3 1/2 yr old. I don't know what to do with her, but I decided to take her back to pull-ups. I have not been talking about the potty or anything else with her and I don't even change her "diaper" anymore I let her do it. I wish that I had advice for you that would help, but taking mine back to her pull-ups hasn't seemed to help the situation either. If you find something that really works, please pass it on because I am starting to face the reality that she won't be able to go to school in a yr because she can't use the potty by herself. Good luck.
J.

I've heard that getting satin panties will help. It sticks to their little bum when it gets wet, and is really uncomfortable. That would help her notice the need to tell you she's had an accident. Also, satin is pretty and girly, and she might feel more motivated to keep them dry. You can call them her "princess panties" or something. They're probably pricier than regular underpants, but might be worth trying.

my son did some of the same things. he would use the toilet on his own to pee, but would hide behind a chair to poop in his pullup, sometimes not even telling me for a long time that he had and just letting me discover it by smell. i don't know why. i tried so many things! even his 2 yr old brother was doing better about using the toilet when he needed to. but one day when my oldest was 4, he just decided to go on his own and hollered when he needed help wiping. he's used the toilet completely ever since, with the exception of a couple accidents when he had diarrhea. but his attitude and understanding about that was different and more mature than what it was before he started using the toilet regularly. i don't know what changed his mind, but he did it when he was ready.

Rule number one, never wait for them to tell you and don't ask. Just set her on the potty every few hours. If she doesn't mind peeing in her pants then it won't help to let her sit in them. She is old enough if she wants to be a big girl she needs to be one going on the potty. Setting her on the potty every few hours will get her used to going and listening to her body cues. She may not go every time but will most of the time.
I watch a 35 mos and if I forget to set him on the potty like every few hours he is so busy playing he will pee his pants. He is totally capable of going and does, he stays dry all day here if I just set him on the potty before naps, after naps and a few times in between, never has he asked to go.
She will get there, but now is a great time not to pressure her, don't ask it isn't her choice right now in training, just set her on the potty.
Put her back in pullups too if she is peeing her pants constantly and tell her having big girl underwear is a priviledge of being a big girl. I trained both of mine in pullups in two or three weeks before ever putting them in underwear. She may just not be ready. I swear by keeping them in pullups and setting them on the potty every few hours in training. Both of my kids went straight to underwear and we never had accidents when it was time.

Is she a neat freak? What did it for our son was making him clean up himself. He hated the mess. Of course, I had to finish since he wasn't very good, but it still worked. I wouldn't go back to diapers, though. I hear that only makes it harder later. I have friends who've done that. I just checked out a book from the library that seems good called "Potty Train Your Child in a Day". It's all about a party and seems perfect for older kids. Our little one seems too young, but I like what I've read from the book so far. GL! We've done "Toilet Training in Less Than a Day" with good success, but I think your dd would be ready for the first book.

Go back to diapers. If there is anything I learned while working for some pediatric urologists, it was that kids will potty train on their own time table, can't be forced, and the ones that are forced often times have problems later down the road! I also had a very stubborn 3rd child that had no interest in toilet training. One day she just came to me and said she wanted to start wearing her panties. We put them on her, and she has been great ever since, but it was on her initiative. Good luck

My daughter just turned three and we just got her potty trained the month before (but not at night yet). I cannot recommend strongly enough, DO NOT GO BACK TO DIAPERS. This age needs consistency. Switching back and forth causes them to become confused. What worked for my daughter and I was setting a timer for every hour at the beginning and being really excited about going potty when the timer went off with lots of praise and rewards. At first there were rewards just for sitting on the potty when it was time (because this had become a fight for us and was frustrating all around -- I found that positive reinforcement and excitement made all the difference).

The trick is finding what works for you. Every person is different, and this works for little tykes too :) GOOD LUCK

I wouldn't go back on the excellent place that you are in. Most children do this and it takes a while, but I would give her an incentive to remember going to the bathroom when she needs to on her own. I used small pieces of candy and I know of others giving stickers. Keep a chart that shows her how well she is doing and have her work towards a prize. I would start with little goals, like daily, and then have a bigger prize the longer she goes. I would give her some accident room, because it is impossible at her age not to have them, so that she doesn't get discouraged and give up. I know exactly how hard it is but keep up the great work!!!

Hi M.!

I think you're right ... it's a control thing (plus the novelty has worn off). I have three girls. They are just a little over 2 years apart. My pediatrician told me that for girls, potty training (meaning they're trained and not you) the age is 2 1/2 to 3 (boys is 3 to 3 1/2). You've shown her what to do. She knows. My oldest would not #2 in her pants, but she'd pee where she stood if she was doing something fun. After my frustration, I did not ask her when she had to go nor scold her when she wet herself. If I saw that she had, I (nicely ... the key) told her it was time for us to clean it up. First, I bathed her. Then she needed to help my prepare the sink/bucket where we would soak her undies. Then she was to help me clean the carpet. Between this routine and peer pressure (preschool -- where she never did it), it took a very short time ... like two weeks.

Best wishes,
L.

Stay away from "Pull-ups" because they are just a glorified diaper and it is harder to train kids when they are wearing pullups. With five kids, some of mine were easier than others but they all had their challenges. Put underwear on her--you can buy the training pants that are padded so you don't have puddles to clean up as often. Feeling that cold, clammy wetness when they pee their pants makes them uncomfortable and it does help them learn. Set a timer for every 30 minutes or hour to remind her. Don't get upset or yell at her--just be patient. I know it is hard! If you get upset and yell, she is in control and she knows it. Have her help clean up her messes--it will get old and she won't think it is fun for very long. YOu can only do so much--she has to do the rest and when she is ready she will. Some kids just take longer than others and it becomes a power struggle.

Its her body. Seriously. Its her body.

She knows what she needs to do and when. If she isn't 'performing' for you its because she's not emotionally ready to. Put her back in diapers, don't talk about potty training, don't talk about pottys, etc. Just drop it altogether. When she's ready to be responsible for going to the bathroom on her own, she will.

If you put her on a schedule to sit every hour or whatever its YOU thats potty trained, and not her. She needs to have control over her own body and she'll do it when she's ready.

No child goes to college in diapers. Yours won't either. Give her space and let her control her own body.

My 4 year old still doesn't understand when I ask her if she has to go. If she's busy playing, she doesn't always remember to stop if she has to go. I've just decided that until she's really trained, I need to remind her. Not every time, sometimes she can remember to go on her own. But if I know we're going to be at a store or playing with friends, I make her sit on the potty. She doesn't always have to go, but if she needs to she does. For a while there, I would keep a bowl in the bathroom and fill it with warm water and stick her feet in, which would make her go. Then we could go out and play worry free. Good luck!

I would not go back to diapers. I don't know if my advice is any good, I'm going through the same thing with my 31 month old son, but what we do with him is make him sit on the potty every hour or two hours. It cuts down on the accidents, and when he resists, we tell him we won't make him go when he can either tell us he needs to go or goes on his own. It might be sinking in.

Something that worked with my little girl is a potty watch. It wasn't me reminding her it was her watch. I found it at Kid to Kid and it was actually Santa that gave it to her so I have nothing to do with it. I think that helped because now she thinks someone else is making sure she is a big girl and is going to the potty. You can set it for every 30, 60, or 90 minutes or you can just push the PLAY button to get it to play the song. 60 minutes works really well for my little girl and she seems to like being reminded by a cute pink watch than by her nagging mommy. Hope this helps.

I feel like I was reading about my own experience with my little girl. I was so frustrated because I knew she "could" go potty, but chose not to because it was a control issue with her. And if there's one thing I know now, there is no forcing your child to do anything! I couldn't even get her to sit on the potty most of the time. I finally just put her in panties during the day and it took about 2 weeks before she finally did it on her own. During that time I made sure I didn't get angry when she had an accident, I didn't give her the satisfaction of a reaction. I didn't have her help me clean it up because she thought it was fun and just wanted to have more accidents so she could clean up her mess. So I did the timer thing to have her sit on the potty every hour so that cut back on accidents, but only worked for a couple days before she was bored with the timer and didn't want to be forced to sit on the potty. So then I put a candy jar in the bathroom and she could only have it if she sat on the potty. That seemed to work best for her. Then when she started doing it more regularly, she would only get candy for going pee, and then a surprise for going poo. Surprises were usually books or little toys. She enjoyed getting the candy herself and thrived on the feeling of independence once she got the hang of it. You have to be consistent and don't go backwards to diapers again. There are panties that are a little more absorbent to cut back on the mess, and then we graduated to pretty panties that she got to pick out herself and we've been accident free for months now! Good luck, I know how frustrating those control issues can be:)