Potty Training My Toddler Who Is 28 Months

Hi!
I'm a mom to an older child (9 year-old girl) and was a teacher for 10 yrs. I do know that there are many schools that will not admit a child if they are not potty trained. Personally, I feel that is too bad because they do not recognize how much body readiness is required to learn this skill. When I was ready to start my child in school there really was only one choice: Play Mountain Place. Children do not need to be potty trained since the school has a humanistic approach and meet each child at his/her individual level of need physically and emotionally. It's a marvelous school (I taught there). Look them up on -line, they are in Culver City!

Hi Smitha:
If you check some of the other responses on the site here,under potty training, there are some excellent pieces of advice. I know I must sound like a broken record,but try to put yourself in your childs position for a moment. If you had someone pushing you to have a bowel movement,Could you do it on demand? I couldn't. I realize your anxious for her to accomplish this feat,so she can attend preschool,but children go at their own pace. You can guide her,but if shes not ready,there's nothing you can do. Oh wait...yes there is..We have some mothers here that believe punishing your child will help.I'm sorry for being sarcastic,but I find it so difficult to believe,that there are those who believe,using an Iron fist,or humiliation is productive in teaching our children. All that does,is cause hurt,frustration and feelings of failure resulting in relapses. If you want to help her along,I'd recommend watching her and when her usual times are to have bowel movements. If she normally has them in the morning or after a bath at night,that's when you sit her on the pot. I use to read my son A favorite story or let him look at pictures in a book,while he sat. This relaxed him,and he didn't feel so pressured.I wish you and your growing little girl the best. J. M

I am the mom of 4 and have now gone through potty training with 3 of them. All of them have been different boy or girl didn't matter-it all depended on their personality. Oldest had to wear pull-ups to pre-school, but I still got the calls to pick him up when it was more than pee. Just before he went to Kindergarten was when he was actually all the way trained and never has had any accidents at school. 2nd one liked to be clean and saw his older brother wearing pull-ups still...he started wearing them (18 mo.) Couple months before he turned 3 we were in the bathroom in the morning going potty (per our routine) and he said "I want to wear Jack's underwear" his big brother. He never had any accidents. He had a great vocabulary at an early age so he could tell me that.
3rd-a girl-got the concept early and was doing well going pee, so at about 3yrs. I put in her in panties. For the first half of last year we had problem with the pooping in her pants. Right before pre-school it got better. She's had a few accidents at school, but not enough to kick her out. She still waits too long sometimes and doesn't make it to the toilet. I would just go on her cues and don't stress ( I know that's hard) because they feel it. When it comes time for pre-school, just explain how she's doing and see what they say.
Sincerely,
R.
a mom with much potty experience.

Yeah I was the parent who did it early and it failed and it made it longer. My daughter was not ready I found that out fast and hard way. I know now how to do it and what to look for when ready. I did think always buy the potty early at birth and when she is nearly ready and close to it I let me my daughter put stickers and color on it with a marker. It was pretty much hers and I let her do anything she wanted with the chair. I did the panties thing where she picked her panties out. I wold let her sit in it. I just took her to the bathroom with me and had a potty book with the all the steps on how to be a big girl. I did more praise and that helped a lot. Plus I had a routine too. I would let her go with me when I went too. We would sit in the morning after waking up. After breakfast, lunch, before nap, after nap, before bath after bath. Before bed. I had her times before and after things and with me when I went so it was something to go and do. She may not be ready. It also takes time. Prais right away when they do it too and show them hey pee in the potty and smile. If they have accidents I would say where does the big girl pee in the potty. Don't punish it makes kids think doing it is bad. As for pooping is hard. It hurts you can get some rootbeer or chocolate stuff in a glass bottle that is natural for the stool Fletchers for constipation. It's so old school named.

If you do not think she will be completely in control of her toileting.... and fully "trained"... I would ask the school- "What then?"

Or, some schools do accept diapers. Some do not.
Or, you just put her into school when she is toilet ready.

Since you are a SAHM.... then perhaps you can hold off, until she is ready.

The more pressure she gets about it... well, it won't help.
Most kids.
Myself, I can't potty on command either. LOL

Going poop, is often the 'last' habit to be completed. And "night time" control is an ENTIRELY different time-line.

FOr example: I started & introduced "toilet training" my daughter when she was about 2-2.5 years old... but slowly. I gradually built up to it over time, and my "expectations." BUT, it took about a year... to where SHE was consistent and open to the whole idea. BUT, with pooping, that was the 'last' one to complete. AND, then "night-time" control sans "accidents" was when she was about 5 years old... which is normal and common. Some kids are even later when they attain night-time control, sans accidents. On their own.

My son on the other hand who is 2.5 years old, is just not ready yet. So I am not doing the toilet training yet with him. I am still thinking about it. He is just different than my daughter was.

Ask the school first. See what they say. Or, if you must enter her into school already, then choose a school that does accept diapers. Or just hold off, if this is the school you really want. Have you paid tuition yet?

each child is different is how "quickly" they will competently complete toilet training. But, regressions are common too. So expect that. Nothing is wrong with that. They are still so young to be "perfect" about it all.

Don't feel bad... toileting can take lots of time. If they are not ready. And "accidents" will still happen.

Is she going to pee at-will, on her own? Or only when you take her every few minutes? Can she wipe herself? Does she wear panties or pull-ups? Does she ASK to go potty... on her own? Or only when you take her? Can she pull down her pants/panties herself and hop on the toilet herself? Does she KNOW to ALWAYS wipe herself from "front to back" only? (which is important for girls due to infections), Is she dry for a few hours on her own?
If not, she is not fully 'ready'...
And no, 'rewards' and candy will not always work, to make them toilet trained. It never worked with my daughter.

As Julia M. said, if the child is not ready, there is nothing you can do, to "make" them or speed it up. Its a process. But when they ARE ready, it does not take long.

All the best,
Susan

Smitha,

Sometimes the children can't really go #2 due to lack of fiber in their diets.

I've discovered the Yakut drink and it takes like flavored milk, my son has 1 everyday and is regular. this also helped him become potty trained as he was having trouble going to begin with.

It might hurt or just maybe they are not ready to start going.

Trust me, i know how hard potty training maybe.

Good luck.
C.

With my son we just finally picked a "naked weekend". We started on a Friday morning and by Monday he wasn't having very many accidents anymore. He was 26 months when we got rid of diapers. He had been using the potty on and off for a few months before we tried this.

You can also look around for a pre-school that accepts kids who are not potty trained. I know our Montessori school does, but they do charge extra.

Don't panic. She will do it when she is ready. It is the one thing you can't force. My little girl went through the same thing. It is just a natural bodily function. We would give our daughter a penny to put in her money box for pee pee and when she did poop she got silver coins to put in her money box. My husband then took her to the bank to change the coins into notes. She thought it was great. Our pediatrician told us it is common for kids to hold in the poop. They don't like to have to sit for too long and concentrate. They would rather be out playing.
I know it can be frustrating.
Goodluck!

my SIL did a rewards chart that worked like a charm. something like 10 poops in the potty, and she got a special day alone with mommy or daddy (they have 4 kids.) 25 poops and she gets to go go to the toy store and pick a toy, and 50 poops and they went to disneyland. the first two might hav ebeen reversed but i'm not sure. anyhow, it totally worked for. i will say that i've never seen candy work, and it can set up the kid for a problem with emotional eating.

It doesn't sound like she's ready. They have their own little clock and the more we try to manipulate it, the worse potty training gets! I read some of the other responses and how long it is taking some to fully potty train children that are clearly not ready. When they ARE ready, it can be one of the easiest things in the world. Now, if they're not ready, it's one of the biggest nightmares! I went through both scenarios, and stopped forcing the issue and things worked out soon thereafter.

Good luck!

A lot of kids are scared to go poo poo in the potty. I beleive once you put them in underwear leave them in underwear. Never put them in pull-ups during the day (nap & bed time only). They will get tired of accidents. I would always put the poo poo in the potty and have them flush it. Make a big deal about waving good-bye. Show them that you went poo poo in the potty let them flush it and say good-bye. I never got mad at my childern for accidents, I just reassured them it's ok it happens. Also if you know she's going poo poo take her to the potty. Even if you can't get her to sit and go at least she's in the room to go. It'll happen don't stess about it they can feel it so sometimes it scares them. Make it fun and always empty her poop in the toilet. good luck it'll happen.
T.
When all else fails pray about it. The Holy Spirit will guide you

my daughter is 25 months and we have been toilet training since 18 months. we take her every 30 mins at first and now about every 45. we also keep her in panties durring the day and only use a pull up for sleeping. we just recently started keeping her in panties for out of the house trips so she can learn out side of the house. i would keep her in panties for sleeping but i dont want her to sleep on wet sheets or loose sleep over having an accident yet.
maybe what you can do is like the other mom said ask what will happen if shes not to their standard of potty training? then what? there are day care type preschools that will take a child whos in the process of training.
i hope this helps good luck!

Smitha T

Oh, the memories! I used to take my daughter to the bathroom with me have her sit on her potty chair and we would do this together. It can be fun and nurturing. My daughter (who is not 30+) would pee in her potty, and #2 in her pants. She did outgrow it, but it took a little while. she also learned how to behave when she hit puberty, she did not panic at all. She just whispered in my ear, and I told her to get the pads. Its much easier to teach a girl, I had more problems with my two boys since their father was more absent than at home.

Most kids will train on their own schedule. If they are not ready when you want them to be, you will just be potty training for a lot longer.

As for preschool, the preschool at my church does potty training. I don't know how the wonderful teacher of the 2-year-olds does it year after year, but she's great. No stress for the parents or kids to try and fit into an arbitrary time table for potty training. Perhaps you can lessen the stress on both of you and find a more flexeble school.

Hi smitha, Pre schools don't have changing areas, being potty trained is a requirement for most pre schools. As a daycare provider if they are over 2 and not potty trained i don't even take t hem. I see you mentioned candy, stickers , but no discipline, no coioncequences from disobeying and not using the potty for #2, rewards are great sweetty, but wth out discinpline they don't usually work. The next time she does #2 on herself, make her change herself, wash and sanitize her hands afterwards. Does you want to go to preschool? if so let that be an insentive. But you need to get firm, anything a child can get away with they will pretty much do, you need take charge and she needs to know that pooping on herself is not exceptable, and if she does thre will be coinsenuiences. It doesn't have to be tough, I trained mine all before the age of 2, and I have trained countless children in my daycare over the past 12 years. If you give her control it will be tough, but it does not have to be. J. L.