Potty Training My 3 Year Old

Hello S.,

A child is not ready to be potty trained until they are aware of when they have the urge to go.

Just because your child is 3 doesn't mean it is time.

The American Academy of Pediatrics now recommends that children be potty trained by age 4 -- as opposed to their former recommendation of age 2.5. They say that most children are not developmentally ready until then. Every child is on his or her own time table, and it is important to look for clues to determine whether they are ready.

I found an article by the American Academy of Pediatrics that may help you with your questions. From my perspective, your child is not ready -- and he is very clearly telling you he is not! If you push a child before they are ready, the emotional effects usually show up in other ways -- behaviors develop that are not healthy for the child. When we allow our children to take all of the time they need to be ready for milestones (and toilet training is a HUGE one) then they are able to accomplish it stigma-free, successfully, and with no adverse results.

http://www.aap.org/publiced/BR_ToiletTrain.htm

I also recommend the book: "Mommy I Have to go Potty" by Jan Faul

Lots of Love,
Linda
www.RivieraPlaySchool.com

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He may not be ready yet.

Here is a link to a good article on toilet training that I thought might be helpful:

http://www.caringforkids.cps.ca/growing&learning/toil...

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Hi, I know it is hard, but relax, it will happen. You didn't mention it, but does he have a speech issue of any kind? Children who are late to speak are late to potty train. Hang in there.

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Hi S.,

My advice to you is to let him do it in his own time. Everyone seems in such a hurry to potty train their kids, but each child is different - if pushed he will resist. Leave him alone and he'll get there in HIS time. Just enjoy that he's still a baby and love him up!!! It goes SO fast :)

D.

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Hey there -- I have four kids. As my mom says, no-one goes to kindergarten in diapers! I have 4-year-old twin girls, and no time to stand around changing dripping wet undies and clothes. I would mention how when they were big girls, they'd use the potty, and we had potty books, and they saw the videos, all when they were three. But they clearly weren't ready until they turned four. That week, I said, tomorrow, you're going to wear underwear all day! Woo hoo! They put it on and we've had very few accidents.

No need to stress kids over bodily functions. A noted LA pediatrician, Jay Gordon, says it's the one thing he wishes parents would not do. Wait til they're ready, and it'll be easy as pie. In the meantime, use the cheap store-brand diapers so that your child can tell when they're wet. A child is not ready to be potty trained until they (a) recognize the urge to pee or defacate, (b) can hold it until they get to a potty and (c) they want to.

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i just wrote a big long thing to another mom about potty training..here's what i did

A. let him run around naked in the house w/ a potty available to him
B. let him see u and your husband go to the bathroom...always explain what you're doing
C. take him into public bathrooms and go in front of him..
D. Tell him when you have to go...so he learns to tell u when he has to go.
i never offered treats..i just said.."aim for the hole" and i just talked to my son about it..
also i bought him some toilet books to look at..kid ones..
i started when my son was 37 months..and just let it happen over time..but you're on the right track..no diapers..
just keep talking to him about it when he wets his pants..
my son is totally potty trained now..the finishing touch was bringing him to preschool and having him hear me talk w/ the principle of his school..about potty training..i was telling her that he doesn't tell me when he has to go..

then after hearing our conversation he now always tells me when he has to go..so maybe talk more about it in front of him and to him.

good luck!

Just relax and stay calm. I have used that book many times, and I have never had it work in one day, but it always works in a week or two. And that is much shorter than most other methods. Are you doing the "practice sessions" in the wet diaper after each accident? That usually does the trick for most kids. If you swoop in and clean them up right after every mess, they have no motivation to use the toilet. If he is traumatized by the poopy practices, limit it to three, and make it quick and matter of fact. 10 poopy practices always seemed cruel and unusual to me. Have him help rinse the poopy pants in the toilet, and talk about how much it stinks, and then help him to thoroughly wash his hands after. Really emphasize the ten people (can be cartoon characters or favorite toys, too) who will be SOOOOOOOOOOO proud, when he uses the potty like a big boy. If he was younger I might question his readiness, but at three, unless there is some disability, he should have all the prerequisite skills in place. Hang in there. Your responses need to be very practiced and planned. Don't let yourself get emotional, stressed or discouraged.

It takes a lot longer than a weekend to potty train. My suggestion is to do it in steps. The first step is the morning pee - try being successful at that for one week. Then the next step is the before the bath, again successful for one week, then you can start the mid-morning pee/before lunch pee/before and after nap pee. Have some successes to celebrate but do one step at a time. It takes a lot longer than a weekend, but it's less frustrating and less laundry!
Good luck.

S.,

What's worked for my 3 boys (ages 10 yrs., 9 yrs., and 23 months) is that they would go without a diaper or underwear. The look on their face is classic when they see the pee coming out. I have let them run around naked the 1st day. The potty usually comes out from the bathroom to wherever we're at. It's a new process, so you the potty needs to come to them. Sometimes what they are doing is so much more fun that having to go and sit at the potty.

With the older 2, they got 3 M&M's whenever they would sit down to potty. All I'd have to say it "M&M?" They would nod yes, then I'd say "Let's go pee". It worked for them and both were trained before 2 yrs. old. With my "baby", he's been trained now for almost 2 months. I tried a different approach, only because I didn't have M&Ms when I decided he was going to learn. We used the "potty dance" and lots of praise, hugs, and high 5s. For the 1st week, his brothers would come out and cheer him on and hug him and give him high 5s when he did go. It was a learning process.

The potty followed him for the 1st 3 weeks. After that, the potty remained in the bathroom. About 3 weeks after that, I bought the little cushion for the bigger toilet. He's now going in public restrooms without the cushion.

In order to get him to sit down for an extended time, I would let him watch a YouTube video (which was anywhere from 2 to 3 minutes). When it was over, he would get up and get on with what he was playing. He usually wanted to watch the video again. If I knew he was going to be going soon, then he'd watch again. It relaxed him enough to go. I'd stop the video and we'd dance and give hugs.

Children will sense our anxiety and stress and will often respond to that. So just know you can teach him and relax.
You're his best teacher!

Hi S., Sorry to here you are having such a hard time with this, if you don't mind advice from a 52 year old, who has potty trained, my own 3, years ago, and many many, daycare kids, at 3 you are past gentle, you need to get firm, 3 year olds have the control, at 3 it's a matter of obebience, the reason i say this is all 3 of my kids stayed dry at night at between 17 and 18 months old, I wood forget about the book, my daughter at 22 months trained in 2 days. but I didn't use a book. As much as he is peeing, did you cut back on the amount of liquids you give him, during potty training? that helps a lot. I don't underderstand the frog. anyway be firm, cut back on the liquids and he should do fine. J. L.

Hi, S.

With my son who was also 3 when we potty trained him, we used a sticker chart and what I did was if he did not have any accidents for 2 days (getting a sticker each day before bed time) he got to finger paint. then we went 3 days and he got to go to the park. then we went four days and he got to go to mcdonalds and get a happy meal and play in the play house. If he did have any accidents we took a sister away and he did not get one for that day and told him that we would try again tomorow. (two times doing that, with two melt down also never happend again. After that he had it down. If we are home all day long he wears big boy under where (wich he picked out himself) but if we go out during the day I put a pull up on him just in case and at bed time. WE have had no accidents in 3 months. If you decided to try this method let him pick out his stickers and get him all excited about it. Hope what ever way you try works for you. Take care and have a good Day.

A. McKay

I've responded a couple times to potty training stuff with this one, so maybe you've already seen it....
But my son loved it when we put cheerios in the potty and let him do target practice. We bought one of those inexpensive plastic booster steps from IKEA so he was high enough to stand and aim.

Stay on it....be consistant. We told our son when he turned 3, that he didn't HAVE to wear diapers anymore. When he woke up on his birthday, we clapped and made it a huge deal. We took him out of his diapers and he peed on EVERYTHING. He wet his pants 7 times that day, even sat on my pillow on my bed and peed on it. The next day, we had 3 accidents and by day 3, we had none....as far as urine went. By day 7, he was dry at night and no accidents at all. He knew we meant business. In fact, we went to the park and we had JUST arrived, he played on one thing (we even asked him if he had to go - he said no) and wet his pants. We told him that we didn't have a change of clothes and had to leave...and we did. He was devastated.

We almost had him potty trained at 18 months, but we left him with my parents for 2 weeks, while we went to Spain and he never sat on the toilet again, until he was 3. Son #2 was potty trained at 2 years 4 months. He'll be 3 tomorrow and it was so different, but it's all about consistancy.

Good luck!

Try catching the morning pee only for a few days. no breakfast till he goes. I put the little potty in front of the tv he sat their till he went. The first two days are the worst but after they realize how to release quickly they get off quickly and can get on with breakfast and playing. Once they get that down talk to him about how his tummy feels before he goes and after so he puts the full blader urge in his head. When he gets this down good then go for the all day undies. But keep the potty close to his play area for a while, This way it doesn't seem to be a inconveinence to him. Even for the pooping once the diapers come off they never go on. pull-ups don't work so don't use them unless you are going on a long trip. And simply don't give him any other option. If he has no accidents after a week then he can pick a toy out at target. Make it a small target then make the next goal two weeks then three and he should be good. He is old enough kids need to be pushed just like adults do sometimes. Good Luck! J.

Well my kids are teens know, but I potty trained them It was by puttingh glitter in the potty and asking them to make it move by aiming at the glitter. It helps them aim straight and is fun for them too.