Potty Training My 26 Month Old

Hi N.:
Your son is still very young to understand,what the sudden urges hes experiencing are all about.He knows he gets this full feeling in his lower abdomen,but he isn't mature enough to really grasp why he feels the urgency,and hes probably just beginning to understand the pee part. Having a bowel movement is something totally different. Its sort of frightening for toddlers. They have only recently discovered how unique their little bodies are,and now something strange is coming out of that body.Remember also,Its very difficult,even for an adult to have a bowel movement on DEMAND. Frankly, the mere mention of it binds me up!! lol. Regardless,of some techniques you will hear,you NEVER, EVER punish A child for something,they have no control over. I can't believe that A mother would be so desperate,to potty train their child,that they would use punishment as A scare tactic to get them to progress at the mothers desired speed. You take a big chance of your child relapsing,not to mention the ill effects of being threatened,for not acting more mature than your age.Take your time,don't push,don't belittle him when he has an accident,and he will be potty trained before you know it.I wish you and your darlin boy the best.J. M

2 moms found this helpful

He's just not ready yet. This is a developmental issue, not a disciplinary one. It takes a while for kids to be able to recognize and then articulate what their bodies are doing. He might not yet be able to recognize that he needs to go beforehand. He's still very young, so I'd personally suggest letting it go and giving him a little more time before trying again.
I can imagine that it would probably be easier for you if he were potty trained before the baby comes along, but realistically, it's not going to happen. When children get pushed before they are ready, it delays things, besides creating negative feelings and shame for them.
Perhaps when the baby comes you can make a big deal about what a big boy he is, and how soon he'll be using the potty instead of diapers.
Believe me, in no time at all, he'll be potty trained. He just needs a little more time to be ready for it.
Good luck and congrats on your new little one!
M.

2 moms found this helpful

this is normal because he hasnt yet recgonized that he has to go. with the pooping he may feel like hes loosing a part of himself. just keep trying and reinforcing this is all still very new to him. your on the right track though!

2 moms found this helpful

He may not be ready yet. It is a weird phenomenon, my son did the same thing when I tried to potty train him at 2 1/2. He pooped on the carpet a few times and it was stressful. My son just turned 3 in March and just one day a month a ago we decided to put him in underwear and with only a couple manageable accidents he is now using the regular potty all day (I still put a pull-up on him at night...I think that will come later). So my unprofessional advice is to wait...even if it totally seems like he's ready because he's talking about it. Just wait. It's SOOOO much easier to do it when they're ready and it's not as stressful. I really wanted my son to be trained before 3 since almost all of his friends were...but it's not worth it. Just wait.

1 mom found this helpful

Ditto Julia M., Ditto Jacy.

trying for 2 weeks is just a drop in the bucket. It is NOT a long time, in the general scheme of things with potty training.

A 2 year old toddler is not going to perfectly articulate and enunciate at the perfect timing "Okay Mother, I need to go to the toilet...." and then go. My son for one, cannot even talk elaborately yet because he is delayed in speech...so, I can't expect my son to say/do that... so he can indicate to me in other ways. But, my son is 2.5 years old... and he's not ready for potty training yet. I tried...but stopped because he is just not there yet.

ALL & EVERY SINGLE MOM I know... had kids that did the SAME THING your child is doing. ALL my friend's kids did the SAME thing. Even my daughter at that age did that. Its par for the course. It's normal.

Your son is not "lying" when he says 'no.' He does not want to go, or is not ready to yet....and he knows he can't do it as you wish. Some children, will NOT do something...because they think they have to do it p-e-r-f-e-c-t-l-y "for" their Mom... and they know she will be disappointed if they don't. So... why should they "want" to do it? They will get it 'wrong' and invariably punished or scolded about it or told how they did not do it well enough or fast enough or good enough or sure they will get a candy for it... but only if they are "good"? What exactly is "good????" For me, being "good" means just the fact that my kid tried their best. Even if pee hits the floor or in their panty/underwear and not exactly in the toilet... so what. They tried. It's just one step of many on the road to success for a child.

So sometimes, if you just ease off the pressure...the child may respond to that. OR, if they know you are not rushing them...they will feel more comfortable with themselves about it all....
eating and body functions... are the ONLY things that a child can "control" themselves... it's THEIR body. And, it is often the one thing that they need patience with and it has to do with basic human function.

Don't worry.... he's on his way and even if he relapses, never mind. No child gets to 1st grade with their diapers still on. They all "graduate" no matter if it is at 1 yr. old, 2 yrs. old, 3 yrs. old or 4 yrs. old.

All the best,
Susan

1 mom found this helpful

There's no logic to little ones is there? I am always asking myself.."what is he thinking?" but ...you're doing the right thing mama..let him run naked and put a little potty out in the living room..my son also saw me go and i always explsin everything..i took it slow w/ potty training...he started last june..37 months..and now almost a year later..totally potty trained..he was still refusing to tell me..part of the reason was...he started to tell me but i kept putting diapers on him when we'd go out...so then he stopped telling me and would continue to go in his pants..so...i stopped..we had some accidents..
preschool really helped..just got him in 2 weeks ago...
he actually listened while i spoke w/ a teacher ...and heard us discussing how he doesn't say when he has to go...and after that conversation he always tells me..
just needed to hear someone else say it i guess???

i was bad myself w/ potty training..i feared the toilet b/c i dropped my paci in ..and i would pee behind doors and all over..i still remember doing this..and i ruined my parents hardwood floors! ugh!..
i think the best thing is for him to see you and others in your family use the toilet..also i believe in praising ..but don't scare them..just clap..or say..."yay!!"

it's so great not to have to use diapers anymore! well still using night ones but i put his potty in there and i find pee in it in the mornings and his pants back up..so...he's using it at night.

just take it slow..let it happen..and talk to him..tell him to aim at the hole..i have my son sit on the little potty and stand at the big toilet

i always tell my son when i have to go...and when we're out i tell him and now i ask and he says no most of the time..
and then he'll just out of the blue say.."i have to go pee pee mommy" so just in the beginning go w/ your gut as well..i always kind of knew when it was time for my son to go pee..and i would take him to a toilet ..sometimes he fought me but i would say.."ok aim for the hole" and usually i'd get a pee out of him.

good luck..hope there was some helpful stuff i said

1 mom found this helpful

Hello N.,

A child is not ready to be potty trained until they are aware of when they have the urge to go.

Just because you are ready for you child to be trained does not mean your child is ready to be (unfortunately!)

The American Academy of Pediatrics now recommends that children be potty trained by age 4 -- as opposed to their former recommendation of age 2.5. They say that most children are not developmentally ready until then. Every child is on his or her own time table, and it is important to look for clues to determine whether they are ready.

I found an article by the American Academy of Pediatrics that may help you with your questions. From my perspective, your child is not ready -- and he is very clearly telling you he is not! If you push a child before they are ready, the emotional effects usually show up in other ways -- behaviors develop that are not healthy for the child.

When we allow our children to take all of the time they need to be ready for milestones (and toilet training is a HUGE one) then they are able to accomplish it stigma-free, successfully, and with no adverse results.

http://www.aap.org/publiced/BR_ToiletTrain.htm

I also recommend the book: "Mommy I Have to go Potty" by Jan Faul

Lots of Love,
Linda
www.RivieraPlaySchool.com

1 mom found this helpful

Wait until he's ready! He's just baby - enjoy this time and when he's ready to go on the potty, he'll go! What's the rush?

xoxo
D.

1 mom found this helpful

Hi N.. I'm going to weigh in with all the mamas who are saying it sounds like your son isn't ready. The pooping thing is very normal. It's scary to them, my pediatrician said they feel like they are losing a part of themselves (like something is falling off). Also, I'm currently a little over 7 months pregnant, my son is 2.5, and our doctor also said not to bother trying to potty train before the baby because he would almost definitely regress after. Truthfully, I'd put this project on hold until after you have your baby. One of my friends told me the day she brought her 2nd home from the hospital, her first who was 2.9 decided he wasn't a baby anymore and was done with diapers. She said it was easy. I think they let you know when they're ready. Also, I have a friend who really started pushing the whole potty training thing, and now her kid holds in his poop all day, and only lets it out a little at a time, which means she's changing ten little poops a day. Not fun. Good luck to you and I wish you an "easy" birth!

1 mom found this helpful

N.,

I'm going to have to disagree with the majority of the advice that's saying he's not ready. I'm a mom of 3 boys, so all the experience I've had has been with boys. I've just finished potty trained my "baby" @ 21 months. He will be turning 2 on the 9th of June. I potty trained my other 2 boys @ 22 & 23 months.

Having said that, they can be potty trained. They pick up on your anxiety and stress level. If it's a game and it's fun to them, they will do it. I did do the reward system with my older 2 (which are now 10 & 11). With the baby, we just did lots of praise and hugs. I'll tell you how I did it.

I had him run around naked the 1st half of the day and had him drink lots of liquid. I would take him to the potty every half an hour (which we brought out to the family room). When he would accidentally go in the potty (because at this point he didn't realize what was happening), all of us would start jumping, cheering and we made a special "potty" dance. The older boys and I would hug him and give him "high 5's". The second half of the day is when I put on his underwear. He did go once in his underwear, which is understandable. But there was no dancing or cheering. I just explained that he goes in the potty. We didn't go anywhere for the first 3 days.

Initially, he didn't poop for 3 days. I know this was because it was different for him to go sitting down. I had him sit on his potty while watching his favorite video on YouTube. That's all it took for him to go.

The potty followed him basically for the next 3 weeks. If we were downstairs, it was downstairs. If we were upstairs, it was upstairs. After that, we placed the potty in the bathroom. He now tells me when he needs to go. He'll say the same word if he needs to pee or poop, but that's ok.
He's had a few accidents: about 5 since we started almost 2 months ago. It's ok, because they're accidents. A couple of times I couldn't get him there fast enough.

He still wears a pull up for his nap and diaper at night. But that's ok. I know he can't hold it for that long. He's starting to wear underwear now when we go out for short periods of time. He knows the difference between the underwear and pull up, because he will go in his pull up, but not his underwear.

It will take some investment of time and patience on your part. And he will do it. And not at 3 or 4. I personally think that they learn what YOU teach them (after all, you're his first and best teacher). I know this is SO against what other moms have given you advice on. Children are A LOT smarter than we give them credit for. I personally think that sometimes we dumb them down.

Remember, don't stress, relax, a lots of praise. You can do it!

1 mom found this helpful

Congratulations on your pregnancy!

There are many ways or "philosophies" of potty training. You could have a long drawn-out battle which you may win at the end, but it will be frustrating and hard during the process. Or you could wait till your child is emotionally ready before you start and it takes one day! I agree with all but the 2nd advice that you got. If there isn't a reason why you need him to be trained right now, I would wait. For starters, you are about to have a second child, and when she comes your "trained" one may very likely regress and wants to be a "baby" again.

As a mom of 2, I was terrified to hear the 2nd advice you got, which suggested you "decipline" your child when he hides from the potty.. Again, you can take that route and do the reward/decipline thing, and you may get him trained at the end. But in my opinion, potty and eating are 2 things that a parent shouldn't pick a fight with their kids. Even if you win, you may lose in the long run -- the child is more likely to bedwet in the future, as studies show.

If you need to potty train him now because you are sending him to a preschool where potty training is required, I can understand. I went through it myself. Potty trained is best done when the child is ready, usually at 3 or 4 yrs old, so if a school wants to push for a 2 yr old to be trained, you may want to ask yourself - is this really the right school for your little one?

Best of luck for you!

None of my three boys trained until after there 3rd birthday then they trained very quickly. I actually didn't even try the third until he was 3 years because of my experience with the other two. My middle one wanted to have "big boy" pants like his holder brother about 2 1/2 but it was a mess...always everything getting wet. Boys mylenation (coating of the nerves) takes longer than girls because of the location of the sphincter. Considering that you are also pregnant, I suggest putting the diapers back on until after the baby is there or he would probably regress then in training anyway and it would frustrate you. After the baby is there, he may train quickly because he will want "big boy" attention. That is what my oldest son did. Also have your husband go "peee" in front of your son so he gets the idea and then have him stand up to go. That is such a big boy thing they want to do it. I never made my sons stay on the potty...there is a method
of training where you sit them on the potty every 30 or 45 minutes, then reward them only if they go. The reward is not food, but some toy that makes sounds when pressing buttons or other activity that they enjoy. When they are 3 years old, this works quickly and after trained they can have the toy to play with.
Congratulations on the new blessing you are expecting.
H.

I think it is much harder to potty train boys than girls, simply because boys do not seem to mind being wet or dirty or going wherever they are, and they never ever want to stop playing or doing whatever they are doing. I'm sure you are not wanting two kids in diapers... but given that you are now having a girl, you may find that you can potty train in tandem -- him at 3&1/2 and her at 1&1/2. Do you have someone coming to help you with the new little one? Saying a little prayer that you will have all the resources to get through this time. Congratulations on your growing family!

I would say tht he is not ready. Or, he may be ready physically, but not mentally. This is an area in which toddlers like to have (and should have) control over--it is their body and they have little control over hanything else in their lives--so you gotta give him this. I would say--quit and wait till you have your new baby, and try again after he has had time to get used to your new family member. The chances that he would relapse after the baby comes (if you get success in the next 2 months) are very high--

Potty training should not take weeks and weeks to accomplish--it should happen in a matter of days--this is why waiting for him to decide is vital. I would just enjoy this time you have with him right now and take this stress off of both of you. Potty training him before the baby comes may seem like a big deal now--but when you look back on it--the time you have with him alone will be gone for the rest of his life in 2 months. He will have to share you from now on--so just let him relax and have fun with you. I promise (from my own experience) when he decides it is time--it will happen so fast. I did this with my kids and none of my first 4 (my 5th is still a little guy) took longer than 3 days to be completely trained. And they were all under 2.5 when this happened. good luck--and have fun!!!

He may be scared of the potty. Many children are scared of the process for various reasons. Also, at this age children are very independent (at least they want to be) They can also be resistant to what you want them to do, or they perceive you "making" them do. (thus "terrible twos")
I created a potty training program called Potty Tots when my own daughter was very resistant to potty training.

Go to www.pottytots.com and check the SIGNS OF READINESS to see if he is really ready physically, emotionally and cognitively. He can meet and play games with the Potty Tots. If he likes these new little friends, he may be more motivated to learn the six steps of potty training from/with them! The Potty Tots program is a FUN way to learn potty training. It encourages independence and fosters self esteem. Takes the "powerstruggle" out of potty training! I hope this helps!

Sounds like he is too young to potty train. I'd wait another few months.

Honestly, I had potty training issues with 3 out of 4 of my children and I have no idea why. All 3 kids had different issues. The one comforting thing you should know is that they ALL grew out of it. Some took longer, but trust me, yours will too.

Hang in there Mom!

I don't think your son is ready even though he knows what to do.

At 2 years old, my son showed all the signs that he was ready to use the potty but said it was "scary" and refused to use it. It wasn't until he was 35 months old that we were able to actually force the issue and get him to use the potty. It took us only one weekend to train him at that point. We just told him "no more diapers" and he went on the potty. But he was ready at that point and starting school so he knew he had to to it.

You may just have to wait awhile and try again.

Good luck. He'll eventually get it!

Hello, This is perfectly normal. You might not want to know this, but it sounds like your son is not ready for potty "training". I would put it on hold and wait at least a month. If he is ready, it will only take one day. Do you think he will still be in diapers when he starts school? Probably not, so don't worry about rushing it. Most children aren't really ready until they are about 3 years old.
Good luck with your precious son.
K. K.

When he's ready it will be very easy.

We are in our 2nd month of dealing with potty training our daughter who turns 2 today. We used the 1970's book Potty Training in Less Than a Day (we got it used for a couple bucks from Amazon). She had all the readiness signs- except she would sometimes hide to poop her diaper. The training was horrible at first (the first week), but then started slowly getting better. She was scared to let go on the potty, but I used various water tehniques (put her feet in warm water, let water drizzle from sink faucet; nanny even trickled water in her lap/crotch- not sure I like that one, but anyway) that got her over that. She had a lot of accidents (intentional or not?), including pooping her panties. We used modern training pants, but the training pants described in the book appear to be regular underwear; we did eventually switch to those once she was doing a little better; it might help some. We use(d) lots of stickers as rewards.
Still, she did and sometimes still does say she doesn't have to go and then pee her pants 5 minutes later. We started making a schedule of it: "what do we do when we wake up?", "what do we do before we leave the house?", etc. and always sitting her on the potty and praising her when she goes (not as independent as the book instructs, but you do what works, right?!). That has helped a lot just to get her into the pattern of keeping her pants dry.
My husband sometimes still makes her practice (a technique from the book) when she wets her panties; she hates it and cries the entire time, as do I. I'd prefer he not do it, but we don't agree on everything and perhaps it helps.
Still not perfect, but miles better than that first week and even the first month.

Good luck!

Your little one is just learning all of this I have a 2 yr old boy also and I'm not excited about going through all the messes again, (he has 2 older sisters 11,9). One suggestion is don't ask him if he "wants" to go potty instead just say its time to go potty now. All of this change is drastic for him until he figuers out the routine. This is the first thing they are able to "control" which is why it is a different age for all the kids some kids are ready and others are not. Sure we all eventually figure it out but if you try to force a child before they are ready you will be throwing a tantrum like your child, and why would anyone want all the power struggles. You know what your child is capable of. Good luck

you mau have to stop potty training for a couple of weeks. in my experience it takes longer for boys and if your having to battle it with him just take a week off and start again. he is still young with all my efforts my son turned 3 and then pottyed trained. it took about a week and then we were all done.

Hi N., You asked a very good question. Let me ask you one, when he runs and hides instead of going to the potty, is there coinquences for that behavior? if not then that's the answer to your question. Most children will do what ever they can get away with, not all but most. In any kind of training for child or adult there has to be reward and discipline. You may get some feed back telling you boys are harder, it's not true, I had 2 boys and a daughter, my boys were potty trained by 21 months and the second one by 19 months. I discovered through training my 3 and many many daycare children, that failure at potty traing is more about the parent than the child, so get firm, remember you are in charge not him, whe he takes himself to the potty and goes, give him, 2 or 3 M&M's, if he doesn't dicipline him. he will get it and he will do it. J. L.