Potty Training Help. 5/30/08 - Allen Park,MI

I think you should take one problem at a time. You have successfully made it easier for him to go by giving Miralax (both my boys take it too), so I would let it be for a while until he gets used to going everyday and he will fall into some sort of routine. Then, you can begin the potty training. By trying to tackle both, you may be setting him up for failure, or difficulty at best. He is really only now getting to potty training age, so he won't be behind. Now, about your husband! LOL! He is the DAD, I assume he understood that having a baby meant that his patience would be tested. That's a poor excuse and he needs a big, fat kick in the butt for saying it!! Don't take this all on yourself...you are not a single parent!

~L.

1 mom found this helpful

It sounds like he is going #1 on the potty, am I right? My son and many other boys I know have issues w/ #2.So....we let our son wear underpants all day and then he just had to tell us when he needed a diaper to go #2. This lasted only a few months (maybe 3). Then one day he was ready for the potty. Now we did try to encourage him to go on the potty everytime he requested a diaper. Good luck!

M.

Hi K.,
I have had the same problem with my daughter that will be 4 at the end of June. She wouldn't poop in the pot. It took her a long time to deside she was ready, but I think since we had twins when she was 2 she was still holding on to being a baby. But she desided when she was ready but wouldn't poop on the pot. So with her almost being 4 I told her that once she turned 4 no more diapers. We talked about this the other day a lot and then she just went into the bathroom closed the door and pooped all by herself. I think with my child part of it was still holding on to being a baby when she has 3 little sisters, but when she knew she had a cut off date and made it almost a month to the day. I'm sure he'll do it when he's ready and not a min before. But with giving him miralax, you maybe able to time it out with him sitting on the pot, but he may still be holding on to being a baby, in time it will happen weather you have help from anyone or not. My husband is like yours, so I understand where you are coming from. Good luck, but it will happen, even though you feel like it never will, trust me I know that feeling :o)

Hi K.,
I agree with everything Lacy said about your son and your husband. If he is telling you that he pooped right after he did that is good. He's pretty close to figuring it out. Your husband has to help. He's the father. You aren't a single mom. Good luck.
Chris

Ok so I have three kids. My youngest it has been one thing after another with her health. But she has always had pooping issues. They didn't want her to go home from the hospital because she didnt go when she was born. It took 7 days. We did all of the recommended things to help her go for the longest then she just became terrified of the idea to go. She had so much tearing and bleeding and tons of scar tissue. Ridiculous finally the doctor said we are putting her on medication to help her go. Ok so heres where eyebrows raise up when medication comes in. But you know what my little one stayed in pain. But anyhow. You can now get miralax over the counter. If you would consider trying it dont give the full dose just enough to soften the stool. See where I am going with this give enough to make the experience less scary and therefore he may be more willing to do it on the potty. Good luck i feel for you. potty training sucks enough without having a constipated child. But I do feel that if the pooping becomes easier for him the rest will follow.

hey K! we just finished training our 3 yr old girl on the potty. she is now 100%. we started with the lets poop in the Bathroom when we Poop! that is a Huge start. Everyone Poops in the bathroom! then move onto working in the using of that big boy potty!! good Luck! many Blesings! A.

I don't know how serious your issue is at this point...it sounds like it's getting better, but I have a story. My mom told me that when she potty trained me I would go pee just fine but I refused to poop. Well obviously that's unhealthy. The dr. told her to give me an enema (I'm not sure how to spell that) so she did and I pooped from that day on. I guess I didn't like the enema experience lol. Now keep in mind this was after 3 days of me refusing to poop at the age of 3 when I should be going everyday...so it was serious. Good luck, but I think your child will be fine.

I don't have potty training advice per se but wanted to pass on something that's helped us regulate the "poo". If I give my girls fresh *fruit* by itself in the morning- as much as they will eat, after a few days or so, they will go poo in the morning like clockwork and don't need to go the rest of the day. You can resume a normal diet for lunch, dinner and snacks, of course. I hope this works for you as good as it has for us. :) It could help with timing the bowel movements so that it's easier to train your son.

Blessings,
Lori ~

K.,

I had the same problem with my oldest son. My mom and Mother in Law ( VERY overbearing) both were pressuring me and my son to poop on the potty. I finaly relized that he would do it when he was ready. I think he was feeling too much pressure, because once everyone stopped making a big deal about it, he started going poop on the potty all by himself. We of couse praised him everytime he went by himself, but we did not say anything about poop in diaper.

Hope that helps!!!

K.,
Don't worry about it. He's only 3. Not all kids are potty trained at that age and there's no rule written in stone. Anyone you ask, any book on the subject will all have very differing opinions. And they're all THE BEST!!!

Of course this take patience. If you've got a better hold on getting this done, then it's like many other things around the house: if you want it done right, do it yourself. If your mom doesn't have the patience, then that puts a delay on the final result. You and hubby should at least be on the same page. He should have the patience because this is his child too and should have an interest and a part of the development.
But really don't agonize over having him trained by a certain age. You don't know at what pace the internal world of his is developing. And that plays a big part.

We've been working with my 3.5yr old since Easter on potty training and we finally have a consistant track record just these last 2 weeks. There are a few things that worked for us.

1. Watch for his pooping signs like a hawk! As soon as he starts giving the signals, put him on the potty. When we started this, it would take 3-4 trips before my son gave in and went.

2. Poo Poo Prizes. Politely called positive bribes..er motivation, LOL. My son's passion is the cars from the movie Cars. We stockpiled as many as we could and when he pooped in the potty, he got one as a poo poo prize. Find what really excites him and use that.

3. If he's peeing all the time on the potty, then once you can get him pooping on the potty a few times in a row, ditch the diapers/pull ups while he's home. My son sees them the same as diapers and didn't get what the big deal was about pooping in them.

If you still have problems with consistancy, but you know your son understands what is expected of him...and is choosing not to make the effort on his own..then you may have to resort to number 4 like we did. My son would refuse to stop playing or watching his video to go to the potty and was content to go in his big boy underwear. (At this point I was still taking him every 45 minutes, because he hadn't started telling us he needed to go, but was peeing every time I took him). After several weeks of me losing my temper and him melting down, I decided to start over with this approach:

4. Negative motivation and learn to take breaks. I realized I needed to teach him that taking a break from his game or movie to potty didn't mean he was all done. I purposly started to stop him right in the middle of things to take him to the potty, telling him that a potty break means he can com back to his activity and pick up right where he left off. With that, I told him that if he peed or pooped in his big boy underwear he would lose some of his cars. He did, of course, and was devistated the first time when I took 2 of his favorites. When I took them, I explained that he could get his cars back by pooping in the potty. We started this on Friday 5/30, and the very next day he started taking the initiative to go on his own. Just remember that it's important not to be angry when you take his currancy. "Oh, you've had an accident...this is so sad, mommy's going to have to take XYZ. You can get them back when you poo poo on the potty." He doesn't have the money to pay you for your trouble in cleaning up his mess, but he has something that holds value to him, and he can pay you with that. Then when he makes it easy on you by doing what you want, he can earn that currancy back.

When we found him trying to sneak off to the bathroom to pee one day, we had to tell him that it was OK for him to go potty all by himself whenever he wanted. Once he realized he could assert his independance and control that way, things got better overnight. It's only been a week and now he doesn't hesitate to announce "D poo poo potty" as he's walking to the bathroom.

Now we just have to wean him off the prizes!

I'm sorry this is so long, I hope that you are able to find something here that helps your situation.

C., BC

Okay, you may have heard all this before but just in case you haven't, I let you in on what worked for me. My daughter is 3 as well. She has always had trouble passing her BMs. Upon potty training over a year ago it became more of a control thing. Once they are old enough to figure out that they CAN control something they do. And for some reason, pooping is one of those things. For us, my daughter knew it hurt because everything she passed was large, very large! When she knew she had to go, she knew it would hurt so she'd hold it as long as possible. Well, by holding it those muscles have tiny blood vessels that break. The more they hold, the more it hurts because of those blood vessels breaking and becoming sore. So, I started using Miralax. I work in a pharmacy and the pharmacist told me that is what he had to do with his son. I made it per the directions but used it throughout the day diluting two ounces of the mixture with six ounces of juice or lemonade. It doesn't make them go, it makes going easier. Then we started a daily routine. Every night at the same time we would get a few books and my daughter would sit on the toilet and my husband or I would sit on the floor and read her the books. Sometimes she'd go sometimes she just tried but after about a week of that, she was completely regular and goes on the toilet every other to every three days or so. It was also very important to me that I had the support from the daycare where she was going. I made sure that everyone understood that I am the mom, I make the rules, I need this to happen in order to protect my child and her health. Also, we stopped using diapers and pull-ups about the time I started the regimen. This was over a year ago and all is well. I hope this helped. It worked for us. Please let me know if I can do anything else. Good luck and I will be sure to check in with your progress. ~M.
AbbysMom4Life

K. P
Apple juice or V8 might help and no iron in his vitamin supplement. What does the doctor say?
Barb