Potty Training Help - Framingham, MA

I tried to train my daughter the week she turned 3 and it was a disaster. I had sort of been trying all along but it wasn't until she turned 3 when I really tried to enforce it. It was so frustrating. I told the doctor and he told me to just take a break from it altogether. I didn't mention anything about potty until 2 months later. I tried again and she got it!!! She was even waking up in the morning dry. I still put a pull-up on her for bed time and naps (if she's in the stroller) but she's been doing so good. One thing that my friend told me to do that seemed to work was to put her in underwear with maybe sweatpants on. If she pees, she'll feel it from the wet sweatpants and it's not a good feeling! I wouldn't change her right away...I would just pretend I was busy and say "in a sec"....I know it's kind of bad but it helped her get that feeling of being wet and she didn't like it!

Hi F.
I don't have any advice about the potty training-but I just wanted to say-be kind to yourself. You have a huge amount of stuff on your plate-with work school husband and kids. Any ONE of those is enough to overwhelm the best of us.
Take a deep breath first--and then read on to the moms who will give you some great advice on potty training!
Be good to F.!!
J. H

Every kid is different so it's tough to figure out what/if anything is going to work for yours. We had a similar situation with my now 3.5-year old. We did just stop trying for a few months-although we continued to talk about it- and the week before her 3rd birthday and the start of preschool she decided that 3 year olds didn't wear diapers. We do have a 1-year-old at home too but, in our case, I am confident that our strong-willed daughter just wanted to decide on her own when it was time.

Friends have had the potty fairy come and bring a special gift, let their children pick out special underpants, etc.

It can be really frustrating, especially when you think they have figured it out. Have faith. She won't be wearing diapers forever.

The suggestions you arleady got are great. I would keep up the undies and tell rather than ask her to use the potty. For my daughter I also set a timer and every time it rang she had to go try so it wasn't exactly me telling her she had to go the timer was telling her. Also we did the rewards and one that worked well for us was money. She got a plastic piggy bank and every time she went she got 1 coin and 2 for poop. She loved filling up the piggy bank and having her own money to show people. She would show daddy when he got home from work that it had more money. Good Luck potty training can be a hard time on you!

don't ask her if she needs to go because the answer will always be no you need to tell her its time to go potty even if she doesn't need to she still needs t o sit

number one, congrats on getting her trained so early! 3 and 4 is considered acceptable now. so don't beat yourself up if she is regressing. my daughter 3 1/2 has been trained for about a year now and we just had to go back to pullups at night. it's so frustating(especially because i was used to not paying for them!!) i did the same thing as you..rewards...blah blah blah. finally i gave up and made no issue about it in front of her and she has been dry every morning for 2 weeks. sometimes i have to make myself stop and remind myself that she's only 3. it's hard though because you get so used to what they are doing already. we haven't resorted back to pullups during the day, but she is doing that "grabbing the crotch" thing before i finally tell her to go. she waits until last minute because she doesn't want to stop playing. i remind her that that show will still be on or that she can come back out to the swingset when she is done. good luck, the best bet would be don't push it. don't talk about it. it's probably just a phase. hope that helps a little

At 3 kids go through a "control" phase. Just be patient and it will work itself out. Keep up the positive encouragement and keep on a schedule; potty after getting up in AM and after nap, before leavign the house ect.... Alos tell her that it is ok to have an accident now and then, it happens, however you are the big girl and she will be able to show her sibling. Get rid of the diapers, tell her there are no more.

Good luck!
M.

My son is 3 1/2, and we just started another attempt at potty training (others did not seem to be working, so we waited until he seemed ready). At first he did the same thing your daughter is doing, and I have started just telling him he must sit on the potty, rather than asking. I say "time to sit on the potty" or "let's go sit on the potty." At first he balked, and I told him he could have a treat (he really likes yogurt-covered raisins) just for sitting for a few minutes. Sometimes he peed, and sometimes he didn't. When he peed, I made a really big deal about it by clapping and getting really excited, and he started clapping too. Now he usually pees right away when I say it's time to sit on the potty, although he still doesn't tell me he needs to go on his own.

So I would try just insisting that she sit, if not pee, and focusing on being really positive when she does pee and trying not to be too negative about the accidents.

It also might be that the prizes aren't motivating her. I was hoping that stamps or stickers would do it for my son, but that didn't seem to entice him at all. We ended up going to a local toy store and buying several small prizes for a couple of dollars each (I told him no more than $5, and I let him pick them out). Then we let him look at his prizes while he was sitting on the potty, and that seemed to work. Now that he's doing so well, we'll phase the prizes out (a prize for staying dry all day rather than each time he pees, for example).

If nothing seems to be working, though, I'd probably take a break and try again in a month or two. I just didn't feel like battling over the potty for too long, so when I was having to fight about it too much the previous times, I brought the diapers back out. I have to say that it has been so easy now that I've waited until my son is more on board with my plans!

Good luck!

F. - you've gotten some great advice here so I really just want to support it! I think if you or she needs to take a break go for it. Even if it is just a week. I think everyone involved needs to be in the right frame of mind (most of the time) to make it work.

I love the idea of telling her (not asking her) that it is time to sit not pee - less pressure. You could allow her to choose between a seat on the toilet or a potty so she can feel a little in control (that worked for us). Also would she like it if you told her how much of a big girl she is and she can show her little bro/sister how to go on the potty? Appeal to her ego?

Good luck.

i know this may sound simple but it is working for me. instead of asking - do you have to go potty? - I just say "let's go potty," or "time to go potty" - if it has been a while since my son last went. if i ask him if he has to go, he automatically says no without giving it a second thought, even if he has to go. i guess it is a control thing or they just like to say no??

ARGGGGH! This is so frustrating that you sometimes have to say over and over "she's only three." And then make a margarita. Toddlers are soooo distracted and never want to stop playing to go potty!

We had some stops and starts with Lucas, too. My pediatrician had advised us to say, "Potty time!" and sit him on it every hour. That way, if there's an accident, his bladder wasn't very full and it wasn't a disaster. This worked wonderfully, but then we faced the problem of him figuring out when HE needed to go, not when I needed him to. It's almost like he didn't know how to identify when he had to go on his own, because his bladder had never been that full before. So we had accidents again for a few weeks. But then it clicked.

(And be thankful she wants to poop on the potty. Cleaning poop out of undies nearly broke me.)

I resisted the urge to throw on diapers or pullups and he wore sweat pants, which are very absorbant. If we had a long car ride or bedtime, we threw pullups on OVER underwear (so they can still feel the wetness). And invest in a "Piddle Pad"-- a waterproof pad that goes on their car seat. That has saved my life (and sanity).

We awarded two M&Ms for each pee, three for poop. I had a friend who did a bigger incentive-- the play space at Ikea or summer 'camp' at the Little Gym-- kids have to be potty trained to attend. Good luck, dahling!!