Okay so it is ridiculous that potty training is taking this long I know... My now 3 1/2 year old son was doing fantastic it was hard but we used the book potty training in 3 days and a potty watch things were going well withing a month to two months he had the peeing down great and the pooping part was clicking and all seemed to be going well.He was even climbing up going potty and then coming out and telling me he had went potty (peeing that was, still needed help with poop) Any way, so now and for the past 5 months the peeing has been fine, he will have accidents when he is preoccupied or too busy outside and such and just doesn't make it to the toilet. However, pooping he will most never do in the toilet. At first I think he just sort of lost the concept and then I would have to catch him in the stages of needed to go and get him to the toilet to do it... now I believe he knows what is going on but 97% of the time he poops in his underwear. He knows to hide it from me or if I catch him in the act he will give me, what I like to call the "I need to poop look" When I see that we go to the toilet and get it done there, if we make it in time, but now he holds his poop until he cant any longer and will do it when I am not around, in another room or not paying attention. He will do it anywhere, at the store at someone's house at home... and he doesn't tell me he pooped either he doesn't seem to mind that it is in his pants, and when I discover it (usually smell something and figure it out) he doesn't want to go to the bathroom to clean it up and usually always throws a fit about it until I get him calmed down or carry him there myself. About 70% of the time it is an ordeal cause he hates the clean up process, I am sure he would rather me just leave it and let him go about his business. It has been very embarrassing at times cause if he is being babysat and someone else has to clean him up, if it makes its way out of his underwear in public (which it has) I am just getting really frustrated. we have tried having him go often to try to poop, having him responsible for cleaning his underwear when it happens, rewards for going in the potty, and trying to be just very patient not making it a big deal but letting him know we don't do that and what we are supposed to go in the potty... etc. However, the past month and a half I have been struggling with being patient and the issue is wearing on me I don't know what else to do or how to get it to click that pooping in the toilet (just like he pees) is how it is supposed to happen and to get him to tell me he needs to go just like he tells me he needs to pee. I am also concerned because starting September we are doing a neighborhood co-op preschool and would like to not have to ask the other mothers not o have to deal with my child pooping in his underwear. Any advice would be appreciated! Thanks!
I recommend having him sit in it, but I am not sure how that will work. The best thing that has worked for me is to make my child clean up the mess him/herself. After cleaning poop out of their clothes a couple times, my kids have not had anymore problems. Good luck & be CONSISTENT!
Make it a GREAT rest of the week!
S.
I think the key may be the clean up process. It was with my son. After nearly a year of trying to get #2 in the potty with sporadic success, I took the suggestion of several co worker (all ECE professionals) and made him clean it up (with minimal help). He had to rinse his own undies and intially clean himself up and then I went after and cleaned up throughly once I felt he had done his part to the best of his ability. I was told 24-48 hours of this and he would be potty trained. My son took 2 weeks but has been great since. A twist on this is cleaning him with cold water. It won't hurt him. A mom in my moms club did this explaining she didn't like cleaning up either and she wasn't going to take a long time doing it. This quickly had her daughter realize that going potty was a better option. It shouldn't be a battle but enough is enough. When I was about to loes a hefty preschool deposit, my son was getting potty trained especially when he was so close.
With my first child I began losing patience during potty training. Peeing was fine, pooping always ended up in her panties, and I am not a fan of cleaning undies!! I put her back in diapers for pooping. She could tinkle on the potty, but her poop "had to go in the potty or in a diaper," so she'd ask for a diaper, go, then she'd be back in panties. First time we made this shift she asked, "You're not going to yell at me?" That question still haunts me today, and made me cry then.
Potty training should not be a battle. When it turns into something that makes you lose your temper, it may be time to try something different. All healthy kids learn to go on the potty. Forcing the issue may be convenient for mom's sake, but kids aren't convenient creatures. :)
I have four kids, and they all learned potty training with tinkle months before pooping, and all had the option of pooping on the potty or in a diaper--they all chose the diaper. We're still working on the last child now, but I know he'll figure it out when he's ready.
Oh- since he's purposefully going when you're in public and/or in a setting where he can avoid you, shifting to using diapers will encourage him to go at home. When my kids were still in diapers (at their request for pooping) they knew going at home was "okay," and I would remind them on trips to the grocery store, etc., that they were in big boy-pants and no pooping till we're at home. We *never* had an accident--ever-- with any of the kids.
Hope this differnt perspective helps. Good luck.
I agree with Amy. It'll make clean up a lot easier on both of you. And you can stop worrying about it and stop giving him pressure. I played the power struggle game for way too long with my 2nd (my first boy) and finally put him back in diapers till he decided he was ready. He was past 3 1/2 when I did that, and a few months past 4 before he was potty trained (but when he was, it was 100% trained from nothing to everything within a week!). I did take away his favorite activity, because it was for big boys (and big boys go potty) but I didn't keep asking him to go potty, I just mentioned it when he asked for that activity.
You want to make sure that he feels okay pooping when he needs to (hence the diaper suggestion). Some kids hold it and hold it and end up getting constipated, then it hurts to go, then they're scared to go. That can really slow down potty training, and potentially cause a medical issue (impacted bowel would be no good!)
I know you are so ready to have him out of diapers. But try to be patient for a bit longer. Let him be ready too. I have yet to see a kid go to kindergarten in diapers, and I taught kindergarten :) Just make it easier and less stressful on both of you and he'll go when he's ready.
Oh- and going to the neighborhood co-op and seeing that other kids go poop in the potty can be the turning point for him to make that decision!
Make him a progress chart where he can choose his rewards. Perhaps each day for 5 days that he keeps his undies clean let him pick a reward, after he has that down go to every three days, and then to a week. Have a big reward when he makes it a month. Have the rewards be something he likes: monster truck, stickers, a special snack, extra books at bed time, an extra 30 minutes of TV time, trip to get icecream...you get the idea, make it worth his while. Also let him choose the reward and make them progressively better for reaching various milestones. Also don't make a big deal out of the accidents, simply say yucky, poop goes in the potty, you need to keep your undies clean, next time tell me before you need to go...etc. You really need to make an effort to get him to tell you, when you see the I have to go look, just say you are going to tell me when you have to poop right? (this is different than do you have to go or taking him to the potty, it will work!) Making a big deal out of an accident, showing him you are frustrated and or punishing him for it will only make the problem persists. Work on keeping your cool and be consistent will expedite the process.
