Potty Training for BOYS - Raleigh,NC

C., you don't say how old your son is, but if he is between 2 and 3, that's what I am going to talk about. Boys usually train later than girls, firstly. It can be a losing battle to try to potty train too early, before a child is ready. I believe that unless your son WANTS to potty train early, that you shouldn't even try. (Others may disagree, but I'm writing about my experience and not others'. They'll write what they think.) Around 3 years old is better in my view. And this is for daytime training - nightime is totally different.

My older son was in daycare, so I ran my home training alongside the daycare's training. The two year room still changed diapers, but the children had to be potty trained to move up to the three year old's room. A group of them were going to be moving up at the same time because of the close proximity of age, so this timing was great. They were given stickers everytime they sat on the potty, and the daycare ladies took them every hour, in front of everyone else. The boys and the girls SAT on the potty, no standing. The peer thing was important. At the end of the week, the kids got a prize. In a few weeks, each one was ready to move up to the 3 year old room and there were no more diapers at the daycare center.

On the first weekend, early Saturday morning I brought a bag of M&M's to my son and counted some out in front of him at the table. I told him that every hour, we were going to go to the potty. "Here's how many you get for just sitting on the potty; here's how many you get for peeing in the potty; and here's how many you get for a poopie in the potty - wow!" (That last one was the motherlode!) He was very excited - sure beat stickers at daycare! We didn't go anywhere that weekend. He wore big boy pants and had only a few accidents. I did this for two weekends, although I really didn't have to. He was basically trained in a week. The third weekend, I just reminded him that he might want to go to the potty ever so often, and at some point he asked me why he didn't get the candy. I told him he didn't need the candy anymore to learn how to go to the potty, but would he like to enjoy some with me? We sat down (after a meal was over) and ate M&M's together. (That way he realized he didn't have "perform" for candy. And no, we didn't eat candy in our house much, but this worked just fine.)

My son didn't learn to stand up to pee for another year or so, with his daddy showing him how. When he was 5, my husband showed him how to do it without bringing his pants all the way down to his feet.

Nightime training shouldn't be done at the same time as day training, in my opinion. My ped told me that we can't actually expect a child to be physically capable until they are at least 4 years old. Some can hold it all night, some cannot. Bladder control isn't always strong enough, and some kids sleep too deeply. My older son slept like the dead, and though he would let me get him up because he really wasn't awake enough to know what was going on, it was totally unhelpful in training him because it was only preventing him from peeing in his diaper. It wasn't teaching him to wake on his own and go to the potty, OR training his bladder to hold it. It happened little by little. When he would wet the diaper, he was unhappy about it, and per the doctor's advice, I told him that I knew he was sad about the wet diaper, and that I knew he wanted to have a dry night. What the doc told me to do was tell him that we would put big boy pants on him at night after he had dry nights 4 times in a row, but if he wet the bed, we'd go back to diapers until he had 4 dry night in a row again. I made a chart and put a sticker for each night he made it so he could keep up with the number of nights. It didn't take very long for him to be consistently night trained. I didn't push it, I never made him feel bad about it, and things worked very well.

Children can control very little of their lives - pottying and eating are pretty much all they CAN control, and if they want to fight with you about something, this is what they can fight about. Don't let it become a battle. Don't punish, don't push.

I hope this has been helpful. Congrats for having the boy in the family! (I grew up with 3 sisters, and Dad was an only child, so my side of the family was oh so glad to have some boys in the mix! LOL!)

D.

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I pushed potty training with our first child, a girl, because I didn't want 2 in diapers---it was awful. When our 2nd, a boy, was about 'potty training age' we didn't start because he didn't talk till he was almost 3. BUT at 2-1/2 he just ripped his diaper off & started standing at the potty & peeing. Within 3 days he was completely potty trained! We were shocked. To tell us he needed to pee he would make a pee sound, LOL. But that showed me that pushing was the worst to do and letting them tell you they are ready. I also found that having 2 in diapers wasn't all that bad (I went on to have 3 more and we waited to train them at about 2-1/2 and it was so easy compared to child #1).

I agree with ProudMamma Z, if you can let him run around naked, it really does help. Also, we sometimes put cheerios in the toilet for him to 'sink the boats' so he aimed better--hey whatever works right?

Best of luck and just don't stress out over it, no matter what anyone else may say.

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well i have 3 boys an 8 yr old n 3 yr old twins and i had to potty train them all myself. since you come from a family of all females you can eitha train him to sit first and then teach him to stand or you can put cheerios or fruit loops in the tiolet and tell him aim for the holes like a game. you can also get a potty and let him play with it and it mite happen when he is ready.

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Another poster just asked the same question yesterday - I think her name was Jen B. You may want to read her responses as well.

I responded to hers stating to be consistent when you decide to start. I would take the diapers/pull ups away. In our situation we took a full week with both our kids and let them run around with their bottom halves off. It really helped them realize when then they needed to go b/c they were soo used to a diaper surrounding their "area" and at first just puting undies on just confused them b/c they didn't understand that the undies wouldn't soak up the pee. So, not sure if you are able to or not, but we allowed our kids to run butt naked at home for a week (and yes they were potty trained by the end of the week).

Also, if we did have to go somewhere we made sure to use the potty before we left the house and when we arrived at our destination we used the restroom as soon as we got there. And same as when we were getting ready to leave our destination - our rule was the bathroom was the first and last place we saw at each destination we went too.

Good luck!!

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Well, I think that some boys are sitters and some are standers. My son is a stander. He never needed cheerios or anything - just aims for the hole.

And, I just want to say, my daughter was a total bear to potty train at 3. At 2.5 my son has been a total snap. So boys aren't always harder. Good luck.

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Unless you want to try for the very early training that is based on learning a baby's signals and getting him to a potty until it becomes habit for him, it's best not to "push" potty training. Of course, you can talk about it, demonstrate it, read books and watch videos, act out pottying with toys and puppets – all that is helpful "pre-training." But in general, kids will get there faster without pressure, which frequently leads to resentment, resistance, disappointment, and fear of failure – for both child and parents. These unintended emotional results can have the unfortunate effect of drawing out the process.

Your son will let you know when he's ready. He'll show interest, ask questions, want to try himself. He'll probably want big-boy pants instead of diapers. And when that time comes, usually not earlier than 2.5 or later than maybe 4 for boys, he'll get himself trained quickly and without stress. When a child is emotionally and physically mature enough, able to recognize the urge before the event, and hold it until they get to the bathroom, they take to potty training with the same determination and eagerness that they did to walking and talking.

Be aware, too, that daytime training, poop training, and night training are separate steps for many children. (Some kids continue to need night protection into elementary school, especially boys. They really can't help it – they sleep heavily and just don't get those full-bladder signals during sleep.)

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We used a few drops of Blue Food Coloring in the toilet. When they urinate it turns green. We also put them on backwards, (facing the back of the toilet) it makes a great place to run cars or set up action figures!

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