Potty Training for 3Yrs Old Toddler.

Hi,

Try giving him a reward each time he poops, like candy. also a table spoon of mineral oil every day for a week or so will make thinks easier, he may want to poop in diapers and you may have to let him for awhile until he is ready to poop in the toilet for some reason the pooping is a big deal for little kids

Good luck

This is literally a case of control. You are telling him to go and he is saying no but not going on the potty. My friend went through this with her daughter and it seemed to only get worse the more she pushed her daughter about it. I would try to not to make a huge deal out of it, it will only get worse. As others suggested, start taking him with you or get him books to read to him about pooping while he is on the potty.
Good luck!

Both of my girls did this before they were potty trained. I know it sounds mean, but what I finally did was when I saw that they had to poop, I'd put them on the potty and hold them there until they went. They would fight me, but I knew it would feel so much worse for them if they continued to be constipated. So I just ignored that they were unhappy about it and held them there until they went. (Neither one has had any kind of lasting "issues" with the potty since then, so overall I don't think this was all that traumatic for them.)

Of course it was painful for them at first because they were so "backed up" and constipated from having held it in so long. But after a few days of making them poop on the potty, they felt a lot better. Also during that time I kept giving them Miralax and/or mineral oil to make the poop softer and easier for them to pass. You may need to keep him on Miralax for 3-6 months or so, until he doesn't have any more issues.

One "trick" I used during potty training was to take my girls' diapers off and let them run around naked from the waist down. Then I watched them very carefully to see when they needed to go potty, and ran them to the toilet. After a couple of days of that, they understood what they needed to do.

Good luck!

Hi there,

We went through the same thing with our son. He is almost 3 and a half and I think he was scared to go because it backed up so much it was painful. I just sat with him for hours on the potty and read books and tried to make him relax so that he could go. What ended up working, as silly as it seems, is I pretended the poop was talking and saying it was dark in there and wanted to come out of his butt. (I can't believe I am even typing this). He thought it was so funny, and eventually he went. He learned it didn't hurt, and I had to do this over and over, but now he goes on his own. It was very difficult and stressful on all of us, but I think your dr is also right, he will go - he just needs to know it's going to be ok. He cried the first time he went until it was over and then he was so proud.

Good luck - I feel for you guys.
xo

Put a diaper on him and leave him alone. Don't even mention poop!! I don't understand your statement about 20+times a day cleaning- my butt would hurt if I cleaned it that much for sure! Your doctor is right. He'll do it later. Back off.

First, do not let him see that this bothers you or that you are worried. Three year olds are quick to respond to their parents emotions. Stay calm with him about this. Second, don't forget you can always seek a second medical opinion on the matter. My daughter stared getting scared of pooping and would hold it until it became large and painful. I give her Miralx and let her drink as much water between meals as she wants. Miralax is safe and does not cross the blood/brain barrier. It stays in the colon and is flushed out naturally, per our pediatrician and pediatric GI doctor. It will take a few months for him to unlearn the behavior so be patient and encouraging to him. Good luck.

I'm not really sure this is normal. If his doctor won't help, I'd get a second opinion! If they agree with your doctor, then you might have to wait it out. Hopefully there is something they can do! Good Luck!

Hello A.- I am not sure what you mean when you say goes to private area and pressures his tummy and controls his poop. And why does his bottom hurt from cleaning 20 plus times a day if he is not going. Maybe if you clarify for others you might get responses to your question as I am sure I am not the only one confused.

My daughter had the same issue and I am very, very surprised that your doctor responded this way. Our doctor prescribed Miralax which is now available over the counter. Its a stool softener that makes the stool soft and does not cause diarreah. Your son has a fear of going to the bathroom because its hurts!
My daughter would only poop in a diaper even though she was potty trained. So, we would get out the diaper when she needed to go and while I always thought this was strange, I supported it. One day at the beach we had no diapers and guess what? She went in the potty and has ever since.

Hi,

My son does the same thing - we are using Miralax - and over the counter powder laxative that we put in his bottles or juice. It has been very helpful, as it is also a stool softener, and he has had less of a struggle since starting this (we were previously giving him prune juice, but that wasn't as effective as the Miralax).

I know it's a struggle - I'm going through the same thing. Good luck with your little sweet pea.

C.

Hi A. - I don't have any advice but too am looking for answers to this problem. My grandson is 4 yrs old now and is still holding in his poo...(for years he has had painful constipation and now I believe he is afraid of the pain). He should be going to pre-school, but none will take him because he is not potty trained. I pray that we get some powerful suggestions. B.

Did he poop more easily into a diaper? For goodness' sake, if he did, put it back on him! He is still very young to have achieved total neurological control of bowel and bladder functions, and many children do not do any potty training successfully until after the age of 3. If you have been working on this for months already, it has been YOUR work, not his--but if it is constipating him to this point, please back off and let it rest for a month at least. He needs to be able to have a bowel movement without pain in order not to fear it. Enemas, suppositories, and the like will only focus more attention on that part of his body which he is obviously working so hard to control and make his own. Give him back some sense of comfort and know that he will do this soon, but is not ready yet. There are some things that have to happen on his schedule, unfortunately not on yours--walking, toileting, teeth falling out, reading will all happen but not until the physical/neurological body reaches a certain maturity. Until that time, it is only a power struggle between parent and child and you want him to feel empowered without having to struggle. Good luck and good patience--it will pay off!

I'm not sure I understand your posting completely, but it sounds like your son has "functional retention of stool" where he just for behavioural reasons doesn't want to poop, even after using fiber and laxatives. Our son has this and it is extremely difficult to deal with because it affects their whole day and really the whole family. He should be on a laxative (usually Miralax, which is now over the counter- talk to your pediatrician about dosing and the usage of it) and he should be given enough so that the stool is the consistency of peanut butter or soft serve ice cream, not quite liquid. Then the problem should just be completely ignored- neither positive or negative feedback when he poops. If the stool is soft enough he will go eventually and when he learns that it doesn't hurt and he can't control you with it, hopefully he will start going regularly. Good luck. We still struggle with this issue. Our son is 4.

my sons 3 also and we just potty trained him. we also had a holding and hidding problem . we toke all his toys away and he got to buy them back everytime he went. worked great and you should try milk of magnesua strawberry flavor my son loves it and he knows it will help him go pop.

Please take him to a different doctor. I had a nephew with a similar problem. He ended up in the hospital and they removed approximately 20 lbs. of fecal matter (he was an adult at this point). He was very sick because of the toxicity of the fecal matter that sat in his system for so long.

There are tasteless, odorless forms of fiber you can put into a drink without his knowledge that may help him go easier. BUT, please consult another doctor before you try anything.

Good luck with your son.

I can relate to what you are going through. I have been going through the same thing with my daughter who will be 3 at the end of August. Our issue started about 10 months ago when she got constipated we ended up having to give her an enema. Which was horrible to do I might add. Anyway I guess she told herself that if it hurts to go I just won't go. And the with holding began. We have tried everything from diet to flaxseed oil. My girl has buns of steel and hold it in for up to 9 days. We took her to a GI Specialist in Walnut Creek a month ago and she was great in explaining all of this to us. Apparently we are not alone and there are many families dealing with the same thing. The Dr. put my daughter on Miralax, which works fantastic. The first step was to get an xray of her abdomen and start the inital clean out. She was put on larger doses of miralax for a couple of days for the clean out. After that we went back for another xray to see that the blockage is cleared. Currently she takes miralax daily and we have had great progress, she is pooping daily sometimes in her diaper but mostly in the potty. The hard part is that there is no easy fix for this. It's like they have to relearn what to do. In our house we just take it one poop at a time.

Hi A.,
I suggest that you take him with you when you poop. Make a big deal out of it, noises, muscle movements, etc. Teach him by watching you. Keep it up for several days, a week...

There's also a book called "Everybody Poops."

Many children are motivated by sweets. My daughter got an animal cracker, the pink and white ones with sprinkles, each time she went on the potty. My son got a jelly belly.

Also, I know you said you tried fiber: I'm a big fan of a cereal called "Cracklin' Oat Bran." Tons of fiber and a bit sweet. My son likes it and never has any issues.

Good luck.

Poor thing! I wonder if enemas are okay to give to toddlers. I'd ask your doctor about that. Then, with a clean slate, so to speak, you could create a reward system for each time he goes. I really wouldn't try to exacerbate the problem by turning it into a battle of wills. When I was potty training my oldest, she was afraid to poop in the potty. I had the Potty Pixie send her a magical toy (a drumstick, but you could use anything) that would help her be brave and prevent it from hurting. I can't take credit for this; I got it from another mother. Good luck!