Potty Training Advise - La Junta,CO

Updated on April 23, 2008
K.C. asks from La Junta, CO
23 answers

When my daughter turned 17 months, she took a big interest in using the potty. So we figured it was a great time to start potty training. She was very excited and my mom got her a Pull-Up Starter Kit that has stickers, a crown, coloring book, guide for parents and Pull-Ups. Her dad and I both figured that she was going to get the hang of it right away since she was very consistent about telling us when she had to go. Well, it's been four months of a potty training roller coaster. She's now 21 months, and not wearing panties yet. We went thru a long time of using Pull-Ups but b/c she kept using the potty in them, we decided that we would go back to using diapers since the Pull-Ups are so much more expensive and were really only a convenience to us. There has been lots of days that she has stayed dry almost all day, but she just can't get the hang of keeping the panties dry. She does everything else: pulls her pants down, she wipes, washes her hands. Her dad and I are both letting her take her time with this and are very proud, but I just didn't realize it would take so long. Any advise would be greatly appreciated!

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M.D.

answers from Missoula on

The thing i was told by someone was to use rewards, toys, new panties, candy, etc. I told her if she had no accidents then she could pick out any toy or brand of panties she wanted. It was great cause she liked dora and the Disney Princess'. Then if that was not working i would hide some type of treat that she enjoyed and when the idea of new panties wore off i would tell her the same thing but the treat instead. I was having trouble with my daughter with potty training, she is five now but it did take a while. Another thing that helped was having my niece around. My daughter wanted to be like her cousin and that really helped. I hope this is helpful. Good Luck!

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J.H.

answers from Billings on

I would stop using the diapers all together, and see what happens. If you are going back and forth, she may be getting confused. Also, diapers keep kids feeling so dry, they don't mind going to the bathroom in them, because they can't really feel it. It takes a while for kids to really get the hang of potty training sometimes, and she is still very young. You are lucky that she had an interest so early! Keep at it--she'll get it soon.

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L.B.

answers from Boise on

Don't get frustrated! My daughter did the same thing at about the same age. I had heard from just about everyone, including my Dr., that she would be interested for about a week or so. She was and now she is 25 months and she has days that she is interested and days she is not. Don't rush it and don't stress it. That isn't good for anyone. She is still tiny. When she is ready, you will both know.

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S.G.

answers from Cheyenne on

I read somewhere that children at 11/2 - 2 can't hold their bladder longer than about 30 seconds. You might ask a doctor about it to find out if it's even something your daughter should be able to do yet. Sorry I can't help more!

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A.T.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I did the exact same thing and the timing was the same. I am just a few months ahead of you. Q still is in the pull ups though at play school and at night until she is consistent with telling me. She is now 25 months and is getting it. She is in underwear 4 days a week and does well. I have to watch her and she comes to me with her hand on her and she goes. Or I ask and she tells me no and it means no. We talk all the time about it and having the patience and not to push I think is the best for everyone. I took her out yesterday with underwear and she did not have one problem at all. Just continue the patience and her little body will grow fast in the next few months. Elmo Potty Training is a good DVD. Yes, I hear oh girls take a week....yea right when does that week occur? You are doing fine!

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R.T.

answers from Denver on

My husband and I pretty much stopped letting our daughter wear diapers because everytime she wet her panties she got very upset. So that was much of her motivation to stay dry so she didnt have to feel uncomfortable. Also, she usually goes potty at least every 2 hours or so, so we try to remind her if she needs to go potty and she even likes when we ask if her favorite stuffed animals need to go potty. So her kitty goes potty and then I ask her who's turn it is now and she usually will go. I hope this helps. Good luck!

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S.H.

answers from Denver on

17 months, that´s great that she has such an interest. What I´ve always been told is that once you start you can´t go back. We did pull ups for a week then her teacher told us that since she was doing so well, although still wetting in the pul ups, that we could take them away and use panties. Gabriela was 22 months (a bit older). I spent 2 weeks of puddles here and there but I would let her stay in her wet pants for a while so that she would ask me to change her because she didn´t like how it felt. Then we´d put on clean pants and panties and talk about dirty and clean and that she wanted to stay clean. I would ask her every 30 min to go pee pee the first 3 days then it was 45-1 hour the next few days then she was able to hold it for up to about 3 hours. We still have our days, but after 2 weeks we could go places and be fine. We keep a routine of everytime we come home she hangs up her jacket and goes to the potty. Or when we go food shopping we first pass by the potty then do the shopping. She´s 24 months now and we are totally out of diapers (except at night) and rarely does she have an accident. Give her praise when she makes pee pee in the potty, but try to stay away from overpraising and presents because this is something that should become habitual. Good luck and have pacience, but I suggest that if you are going to do it, then do it 100% and don´t confuse her with diapers and panties.
good luck
S.

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V.G.

answers from Salt Lake City on

As nice as it would be for your daughter to be potty trained so young, don't push it. If she is having that many accidents, she's not ready, even if she is showing interest! My last of 6 was just potty trained. With each one I waited until they were ready. Because of that they had only 1 or 2 accidents (no joke) and they were night trained too. I marveled at my daughter who on the day she turned 2 was fully trained and I was beyond frustration with my son who waited until he had his 4th birthday. The other four trained around 2 1/2 - 3. Because your daughter is still so young, just go back to diapers and don't discuss potty training with her. Maybe, just maybe if you don't show interest, she just might! Good luck and hang in there!

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W.L.

answers from Boise on

You are doing great and should relax, you are years ahead of some out there. She is doing what most do but at a younger age. Stick with it and just know that you are ahead of the curve. I am a mother of four and have been through this three times and am starting with number four. Good luck!!!

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S.B.

answers from Salt Lake City on

It took us almost 18 months to train my daughter. She will be 4 next month and she is just BARELY to the point that I don't worry about having an accident if we go shopping or whatever. Some kids take longer. Don't rush it. if it's a negatve experience they really won't get the desire to control their bowels. Be patient and good luck!

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L.C.

answers from Pocatello on

Kim - I have eight children - yes you read that right. What I learned about the whole potty training process is this. They will do it when they are ready. With my first five children I pushed it and it was nothing but a fight because they weren't really ready to do it themselves. I constantly had to be asking and prodding. Not fun at all. With my next ones - I let them do it when they wanted to. Yes we were in diapers a little bit longer -but it was a much better situation. In fact my one little boy, woke up on his third birthday and said he wanted to wear big boy underwear like his older brother. He made the choice himself and had only 2 accidents (both at night) since that time. He is now 9. If I were you - I would just leave it alone until she is older. Debbie

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D.K.

answers from Denver on

It is about if her bladder is ready too. Some kids peek interest early, my daughter did at 21 mos, however had a lot of bumps like yours and regressed completely after tonsils out and a new baby brother. Only then did I start hard core training and even then it didn't work. The only thing at that point that worked for her was "SANTA" calling her telling her he had big girl presents for her and would be so proud if she went on the potty, done, it was done right then and there and no looking back. It took that year though to get there. Your daughter may be ready mentally but her bladder may not be. I would wait a while, she is young. They have the thin training pullups that are a lot like underwear. I know when my daughter peed in her panties all the time it got me stressed and made it all more stressful in general. I trained both of mine on pullups and had not one issue. I just had to wait until they were both ready 100% then the pullups just lasted two weeks and it was over for both of them. Go to Sams Club they have bulk pullups a lot less expensive. She should be out of diapers since she has gone so far and can pull them down herself, that is a huge positive step. Keep encouraging her but give it some time too.

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H.C.

answers from Provo on

It sounds like she's on the right track. I got frustrated with my little girl, too but tried not to let it show. My daughter started her potty training "adventure" at about 24 months or so and she was going on the same roller coaster ride. I think we, as parents, want to get it done as soon as possible that we don't realize it has to be on their time. I know she got the concept kind of like your daughter does, but that her bodily functions hadn't quite caught up with her mental ability to understand. Everyone told me that it would just kind of happen and that she would figure it out and all I can tell you is that is exactly what happened. It seemed like she woke up one day and realized what was supposed to happen and her body responded. She has a lot more control over "holding it" until she gets to the potty where as before I don't think she could do that. We also went back to diapers again and I told her that once she started pooping in the potty (that was our biggest obstacle) she could go back to big girl panties. I tried treats and rewards before but they didn't seem to help or motivate enough. Then, like I said she woke up one morning and had figured it out. My daughter will be three in May and I'm so happy that she caught on finally. She does so well in regular panties and I usually have her wear pull-ups when we have to go somewhere or for nighttime. She's actually had many nights that she's stayed dry already so I'm so proud that she has figure things out. I hope any of this will help. Your daughter's still pretty young and from what I see most of my friend's children finally figure it out close to the three year mark anyway, so you've got some time. I know it can get frustrating and you don't think it's ever going to work, but it will!

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E.B.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I just potty trained my 20 month old boy. He was showing interest so we ran with it. It took up about 4 days. We never asked him to go potty, we told him. Once we gave him panties there was no more diapers. He wears pull ups to nap and bed. He is doing great . Now we take him every 2 hours if he hasn't told us he has to go. We never gave him treats or anything. His reward was to flush the toilet and wash his hands. Just remember, not to confuse her with diapers. Good luck!!

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T.Z.

answers from Denver on

i'm a mother of 2 boys and a girl and here is my experiences and advice. boys, most not ready until after 3 so let's talk about the girl. my girl also showed interest at 18mths and in fact would poo but not pee in the potty. at 23 mths I decided that it was time and as i did with my 2nd son, we had a potty training boot camp. we went no where and did nothing but try to stay dry. i put the potty out in our kitchen (hard floors) and stripped her down to nothing. we went often and her 'currency' was m&m's. if she just tried to go, she was rewarded with 1, if she went then she got 2. the first 3 or 4 days was not fun but suddenly it clicked. i would say that after 7 days she was good. i only used pullups if we were going to be out for a long time and i mainly used the training undies and plastic pants during the day.
some people advise to let the child do it on their own but you're the mom and you know when she's really ready. sometimes though you need to encourage and lead the way. listen to you instincts!
i hope this helps!

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A.C.

answers from Salt Lake City on

It does take a while, but my advice is to drop the disposables altogether. Children never feel wet or uncomfortable and so there is no natural consequence to peeing their pants. When you run out again, make sure you have training pants on hand, and say "Well, we ran out of the dry diapers. Now it's time to use big girl pants. You'll make some mistakes, but you'll get the hange of it." If she is as far along potty training as you say she is, things should be good in a couple of weeks.

I spoke of natural consequence of having wet pants. You shouldn't get angry about them. Be ready for some mess for a while, never get angry. Accept it now, and encourage her as she realizes that it is the potty where elimination should happen, not her pants. Right now she's trained that things are comfortable and go well if she pees and poops in her pants.

However, if she's not really ready this might trigger a back lash. Give it a couple of days, and if she's still upset, switch back, and try again in a couple of months.

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R.M.

answers from Denver on

Have you thought of cloth diapers during potty training? They are thicker than potty training pants, easy to wash at home, and cheaper than pull ups.

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C.C.

answers from Denver on

Hi Kim - your daughter sounds like a real sweetie and smart too! When she is ready again to start potty training, you will see the signs. I encourage you to continue reinforcing her potty habits even if she is in a pullup or a diaper - all those great things you mentioned, like taking her into the bath to go potty, pulling pants up and down, washing hands etc. Diapers and pullups are really only there to avoid a big mess.

I also encourage you to keep on goal - that if you decide to have her wear panties during the day, that is all she wears. I think being dry during the day and at night are different animals all together so set goals for you and your daughter that she is able to be successful at. Dry all day every day may be too much for her right now.

Once you decide to go for it, you might consider just keeping a stash of LOTS of clean underwear and clean clothes near the bathroom for when she doesn't make it to the bathroom in time. Potty training at a young age does take a lot of time and a lot of a mom's time and effort.

One thing we did with my son that worked well for a time was to have lots of plain underwear and a few pieces of character underwear. He would get to wear the cartoon underwear in the morning until he had an accident and then had to switch to plain. The goal was to help him get to wear the fun underwear all day. My son was older (2.5-3 yrs old)and had good language skills but it worked for us.

Good luck to you!

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A.A.

answers from Pueblo on

Kim,
I am a mother of 4 daughters 12, 6, 4, and 6 weeks. I would not worry my two older girls were trained at 2 years old my youngest did not go to the potty til she was 3 and that was when she was ready. My oldest daughter however was easy. This might sound mean but she wanted to wear panties and when she pooped in them I made her sit in it and she hated it. After that she went to the potty. So don't force her she will go when she is ready.

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D.S.

answers from Fort Collins on

Hi Kim,

You have gotten great responses so far, and I too agree with most in that they will do it when they are ready. If you feel that your daughter is ready, then here is my suggestion. Do get rid of all pull-ups and diapers (during the day) and dedicate 2 or 3 full days to "potty training". Every 1.5 to 2 hours, make it fun for her to go to the potty... we used to skip/hop/walk-silly to the potty while singing a song, be as excited as you can be about going to the potty, if she does go, then have another fan fair, jump around, clap and congratulate her (I never used treats with my daughter who trained at 18 months and regressed at 20 months, but was back on track at around 22 months and we've never gone back, she is almost 4 now) if she doesn't go, let her know that it's O.K. and that she can try again soon (whenever she doesn't go, try again 5-10 minutes later). My daughter had the potty training down right away, but I kept using pull-ups at night time and at nap, which she kept dry for several weeks and waking up at night if she needed to go, then I think she realized it was easier to just go in her pull-ups and sometimes would wait until I put them on to go, I didn't worry about that though I would talk to her about it, except that it would take us 2 pull-ups before sleep and that's expensive, so I just kept using pull-ups at night, then she regressed all together having accidents all the time... So we went back to being silly and having fun on our way to the potty and celebrating afterwards, but kept her in her underwear and changing them nearly every time with no celebration of course and a gentle reminder of using the potty when she had accidents, but after about a week or so (hang in there, her pediatrician told me it's not uncommon for them to lose interest in it after a couple of months) she went back to using the potty all the time, and I even got rid of the pull-ups at night and nap, which I think helped too... I bought a couple of those water absorbent pads and I put them on top of the sheets, I had to wash them nearly every day for a few weeks, but soon enough those also weren't needed anymore.
A friend of mine got her son a kid's watch with a timer, she'd set the timer to 2 hours, so every time it beeped her son would stop in his tracks and run excitedly to the potty... She said it worked better than her reminding him and he was more willing to go with it.

I wish you the best. And to echo everyone's suggestion, "Don't worry" :)

D. (sorry for the long-winded answer)

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M.C.

answers from Denver on

Sounds to me like she is ready. Switch her to panties and be ready to clean up a few messes, and be kind about how everyone has accidents. My daughter needed this final step. The pull-ups kept her too dry for her to care. Even the ones that were labled "cool alert". She was potty trained within 2 days of us switching "cold-turkey" to panties. I know this isn't often recommended, but it worked for us. Take all of the advice from these wonderful girls and figure out what will work for you and your family.

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L.F.

answers from Salt Lake City on

My daughter did the same thing have a diaper on she wouldn't even try to use the potty. Panties she'd wet. BUt she was salso a girl who wouldn't stay dressed. So if you don't mind let her run free. I think that was the best thing for my daughter, because she would feel it run down her leg rather than the clothes absorbing it. It was a lot of messes to clean up, but it was so worth it cause she really caught on. Be patient with her too. Once my daughter caught on it caught us off gaurd cause it just kind of happened.

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K.W.

answers from Provo on

I know boys and girls are completely different when it comes to potty training but as I have talked with other moms it seems they are same with one thing...they will train and stay trained when they are ready! It was third time's a charm for my son and even then, he has his small set-backs.

Don't give up but also don't push too hard. If you put her back in diapers, don't bring it up again until you feel that she has matured a little and is ready to try again in full force. If you can handle it - only use pull-ups at night. Put your daughter in panties and sweats so she can feel what it is like to be wet and the thrill of success. Diapers and pull-ups are made so well that babies don't really feel wet - the diaper pulls it away from their skin so well and so fast.

I guess my advice is to stay positive and consistent. Good luck.

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