20 answers

Potty Training - Accidents If Underwear Are Used

I began potty training my 28 month old son last weekend. He does wonderfully if he is at home and naked - only one accident that I can think of. However, the minute I put underwear on him, he has an accident (3-4 accidents a day when underwear are on). Through comments that he has made, it is obvious to me that he sees no difference between underwear or a diaper.
At daycare, they do not take him to the potty often enough in my opinion. I discussed this with them, but not sure it's really changed. (He does not stay dry for 2 hours at a time). However, daycare is quite eager for him to wear underwear and say "they are ready for accidents!"
Anyway, I'm wondering if by being allowed to have many accidents at daycare, this contributed to his confusion? I am unsure how to proceed. I am keeping him naked as much as possible for now, but obviously can't continue this forever and I'm not sure whether to tell daycare to stop with the underwear and we'll try again in a few months.
Can I keep him in underwear at daycare, naked at home and put him in diapers when we go out and about, or is this confusing? Are 3-4 accidents/day a sign that he isn't ready? Should I stop training and try again later? I hate to do that as he likes to pee in the potty and has pooped in the potty for 5 days. Any advice appreciated.

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

Same thing happened to us. Keep up the same thing with underwear, he wont like being wet. We did a skittle reward every time they went potty, we are almost there, one or two accidents a day. My twins are 2.5.

Don't put pull ups, you don't want to go backwards. Just get him boxers to wear. My first son did the same thing, at first he would just wear shorts, no underweare but I learned boxers work just fine too. If he does fine without underweare, he's ready.

More Answers

My son potty trained at 28 months. He also was dry through the night from 9 months on. He would pee almost immediately when waking though, so I'd go in there as soon as I heard him in the monitor and take him to the potty! When we started potty training, we just said good-bye to diapers altogether. We had a potty party and ceremoniously tossed the diapers. This really helped me and him! There were some times when I was tempted to put a diaper back on him, but I told myself that would make J*** think I'd didn't think he could do it, that I didn't trust him, and that I didn't have faith in him. So I didn't.

Anyway, to your questions:
1)Yes it is confusing to wear a diaper sometimes, underwear sometimes and be naked sometimes.
2)3-4 accidents a day are a sign that he's learning. It does not mean that he's not ready. If he likes to go pee in the potty - then take it from there. If he starts to show signs that this whole thing is stressing him out (sleeping/eating messed up/acting out), then that's a sign that he's not ready.
3)Remember the goal: the goal is to get him out of diapers and into underwear. So set the standard that underwear is what he'll wear. If you present other options, they have a choice, which will delay them and confuse them. If you can't get him to a potty in a timely manner, then don't go out right now, but don't put him in a diaper to go out. Diapers when you go out is for your convienence, not in the best interest of the potty trainee.
4) Hang in there honey! Oh, and don't forget to teach him to flush, clean up any dribbles, and wash his hands! :)

1 mom found this helpful

I am in the same boat. I have been hitting my head against the wall with my son, a little older. I said no diapers a few days ago. He acts like, no big deal to have an accident but when it starteed to happen and I just said oh well, you stay that way-He began to care!! Now after a lot of trial and error, he is peeing on the potty with 1.) a bribe, he picked out a truck at Target and I have it hanging over the toilet for his first DRY day. 2.) I set a kitchen timer for every hour and he he is learning to go pee when he hears the bell (very Pavlov). It is working for us. He is having less and less accidents but it is toilet training mom not kid. Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful

Same thing happened to us. Keep up the same thing with underwear, he wont like being wet. We did a skittle reward every time they went potty, we are almost there, one or two accidents a day. My twins are 2.5.

I think 28 months is early for a boy my friend trained her boy at 31 months and most books I've read says after 30 months. Its a difficult time to potty train but consistency and persistance is key, wet underwear 3-4 accidents is par for the course I'm afraid, but they will want to go dry and they will get better it just takes their desicion not yours.

Good luck

Don't put pull ups, you don't want to go backwards. Just get him boxers to wear. My first son did the same thing, at first he would just wear shorts, no underweare but I learned boxers work just fine too. If he does fine without underweare, he's ready.

If it is stressful for you and it is stressful for him than I would just wait. He may be a bit young but it depends alot on you and him. If he wants to wear the underwear than go for it and yes, he may have 3-4 accidents a day. If he is really resistent and it's stressing you out then just wait! At 29 months my son declared no more diapers (he was ready, I wasn't)so he went to underwear and he very regularly had accidents until he turned three. I think he needed that extra maturity to gain full control. But he would have been devestated if I put him back in diapers so I just cleaned up the messes and didn't make a big deal out of it. Best of luck and follow your instincts on what is right for your child.

Little boys, on average are ready, physically and mentally around the age of 3-3 1/2. Yes it is very confusing that he wears underwear at school but if he accidents they just change him and at home he is naked. Also their bladder is still very small. At 28 months he cannot make it thru the night. Do some research on babycenter.com

Definitely continue the trainig. When at home, put him in underwear, the boxers idea sounds great. Take him to the potty very often. If he has an accident, have him take off the dirty underwear and help him clean himself off. Do not put him on a changer or pull out all the diaper changing towelettes. Instead, it would be shower time. Yes, it might be alot of showers at first- sponge bathes will work for urine accidents, but the seperation between diapers and underwear needs to be established.

Practicing at home with clothes will help him be more comfortable at daycare and out and about.
Before you know it, he will get it.

When out and about, have him go before you leave the house. Be sure to schedule frequent potty breaks, and if he has an accident, well clean up time should be standing at the toilet and not laying on a changer.

As far as daycare, I dont know if you will be able to change thier 'system'. Just try to communicate his habitual timing so that they can know what might work.

Above all, stay calm. This does not have to be a play time but it shouldnt be a stressful time either.
Well, hope to help-

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