Potty Training a Stubborn 3 Yr Old

You got a lot of good advise about waiting - I would suggest that you wait until spring and show him how he can pee on the grass or a car tire - that worked like a charm with mine. Aiming at cheerios is fun - at 3 he should be big enough to go on the "big" pot. Naked is good too - especially outside. Good Luck and remember he won't walk down the aisle with a diaper on.

I am a nurse and work in a pediatric office.
Hate to tell you, but your best option is to just totally drop the potty training issue and return to diapers full time. Don't even MENTION potty, etc.
Your child is working on his independence, which means he can control some things. Going potty is the one thing he can control and you can not.
I know that is NOT what you want to hear, but he will potty train. He may see that if it is not an issue with you, and his friends are using the potty, he will eventually decide he doesn't want to be the 'diaper boy' any longer.
Pack up the potty seat, etc. and put it away for a few months. You may be surprised and find that he is the one that brings it to you.
Good luck, hang in there! He will get there, he has just decided that now is not the time.

ah, been there. My daughter is also very stubborn. She got a potty a few months before she turned two, showed a little interest...we didn't push her. On and off we had a little success, but it was a lot of potty charts and prizes and she just really didn't care. It wasn't until three weeks before school started that she really started in earnest, because she knew she had to be potty trained for school. She too didn't care about a wet diaper. She would stay in one all day if I let her. She still (3.5) sleeps in a pullup and most mornings it's wet, and she doesn't care. Anyway, if I had to do it over, I'd skip all the drama, introduce it and let her take the lead. Is there something your son wants to do (go to Monkey Joe's or something) ...you could say "when you don't wear diapers anymore then we can go to..." wherever it is. Some people swear by 3-day potty training etc ,but some people's kids aren't stubborn. He's in control of this, so maybe you just need to give up for a while. Don't belittle him or punish him, just try to make being out of diapers sound good. What someone told me is "you have to find their currency"...it's different for every kid. Maybe he's just happy to have you frustrated, so maybe just let it go for a while. Oh, by the way, my daughter was over two when she finally trained, and girls are supposed to be faster, but diapers today are just too good. Good luck.

I would stop trying to potty train for a few weeks. Don't talk about it. Don't bring it up. Don't make a big deal about it. If you have a smaller potty, hide it.

In a few weeks, bring it up casually like you don't care. See how he reacts.

He may just not be interested in doing it yet. Or he may be loving all the attention he's getting from you by fighting you to go to the potty.

He'll do it when he's ready so don't fret!

I know how frustrating this can be! My son was 3 in November, and over the summer I thought he would do well in potty training then. He also said all the right things. I tried for a while but it was just causing us both more stress. So I stopped altogether. Then one day, he was at the dining room table playing and he peed in his pants. I know this doesn't sound good, but he had been in a diaper or Pull-up and had at some point without my knowledge, realized that his diaper was wet and gone into the bathroom pulled down his pants, taken off the diaper and pulled his pants back up by himself. And then he peed in his pants because he did not have a diaper on. So I waited until the kids were all on winter break when I knew I did not have to go too many places and could focus. For the first week I let him run around the house with no pants on so he could recognize the signs and get in the habit of going to the potty to pee and poop. The second week was a combination of naked and underwear and the third week he wore underwear. Since then he has been fine. He has had 3 accidents I think where he could not get to the potty fast enough.

I also used rewards (sugarless gum was his favorite). But we are weaning off of that now.

As to what will trigger it, who knows? Is the moon full? I had to let go of my frustration over the summer and just know that "this too shall pass". Good luck!

M.,
Hello, I understand your frustrations. My daughter was over 31/2 years old before she was potty trained. (#2 that is)She went #1 but not #2 in the potty. She didn't even wet the bed at night. But she was so stubborn and strong willed and like your son she didn't care if she left that little prize in her pants all day. I tried the stickers and rewards and stressed out about it and was embarrassed if anyone knew about it. My mother-in-law didn't help at all. But I think they just have to mature and it will probably happen over night. She just finally decided in her thick little skull that she was going to do it. I remember saying to her. "You could of been doing this all along but didn't" she just smiled. I think the more you pressure them the more they don't want to do it. That type of a child hates it when you tell them to do something. They will do it on their own terms and their own pace. So don't worry too much it will happen. My daughter is 15 years old now and believe me teenage years are a lot worse then potty training years. So hang on and take it day by day and try to relax and stay healthy.
Hang in there I'm sure your a great mom!
S. S.

My son was almost 4 before he was finally going consistently. He knew what to do, he just couldn't be bothered to do it! We finally told him he was too big and they didn't make diapers or pull ups in his size any more and he was going to have to wear undies and use the potty. Nothing else had worked - stickers, charts, toys, promises of trips to chuck e cheese - nothing! Good luck to you.

he'll care when you stop caring...seriously, his independence & freedom of choice is more important to him than complying with your wishes. That's what age 3 is all about!

Taking it a step further, is he grabbing himself when he wets the diaper? Does he have that all-important self-awareness that is so integral to potty training? Until that happens, it's simply a case of you training yourself to take him....not him achieving autonomy in the training process.

To aid in developing this awareness, put him in cheap diapers or in training & plastic pants. Make him help clean up any messes...including the laundry. This is not a punishment, simply a teaching of life skills. And at age 3, he is capable of many things! Good Luck.

I have 3 kid's my son was quit easy to train he was 2 fully by 3 with no accidents except a few wet beds sheets.My daughter just turned 3 we started to try to train her when I was pregnant with my 3rd baby because she was really interested in it so I took her lead after a while she gave up completley I was ok with it but I also knew if she would only try she copuld do it all the time.After we had baby we tried again she became really stubborn all because she didn't want to use the potty chair meant for toddlers she wanted the real potty after she became use to sitting on it flushing wiping pooping she is now potty trained she will use it onher own hollar when she get's messy with poop so for I can help her.Now we are dealing with the nite time potty traing she wets the bed in spurts I have her use the bathroom before bed time cut off her drinks after dinner and before 7.What clicks I don't know but it will it seems that it happens overnite & it truly does my daughter was very stubborn so was I because I just put her in a diaper and off we went to run errands till she was ready to be potty trained.GOOD LUCK!!!

My son is also smart and incredibly strongwilled. He was close to 4 when he was toilet trained. When it becomes a battle of wills for toilet training you won't win. In my case it backfired and he refused to go at all creating a huge constipation issue that lasted almost two years. I tried everything rewards, stickers, etc. I even let him pick out a special potty. Because of constipation, I took him to a pediatric gastro specialist. The specialist there indicated they weren't concerned about boys being fully potty trained until after 7 (sounded a little late to me). Toilet training has to be on his terms. It sounds like your son knows what needs to be done. When he is ready to use the toilet he will do so. It is frustrating but I am sure he will choose to do it in the next year. Most likely sooner rather than later. Good luck.

My son was hard too. I found nakedness and not talking about it worked the best. Of course this is different for every child, but it seemed once the opportunity to pee in his pants was gone he noticed a lot more when he was going. Then rather than trotting to the bathroom on a time schedule, I just took him to the potty when I saw him going or even after. I would say "oh you had to go potty, we sit here so nothing gets wet" etc. I think he hated hearing about it as much as I hated saying it all the time, so when I stopped we were both happier. Oh and by the way, there were a lot of accidents...its not like I went through this motion once and he was dry each day after.

I am in need for some advice as well. My son will be 3 on April 23rd. He will pee in his diaper and then take it off and throw it over his crib. When I went in this morning to get him up his bed was completely dry so he can hold it all night. And he will ask me to take it off for him sometimes after he pees in it so I know he doesn't like the feeling of it. This morning I asked him if he wanted to go on the potty and he'll say "no" very firmly. I know he loves Grandpa a lot so I'll say, "don't you want to go on the potty like Grandpa does?"...he always says no...I want him to start this other daycare program but he has to be potty trained first. Good luck!!

Sorry to have to pop your bubble, grandson 4 an we had a heck of a time. Your just gonna have to wait till he is ready xavier was not gonna do it for nothing he would hide an then poop the pants, his mother even made him stand in the corner. Nothing worked until one day he went in an did it all by himself. So its a waiting game till he decides he is ready. Good Luck

Honestly it sounds mean but if he gets a diaper rash now most likey he will be anxious to go on the potty. also make sure he gets a chance to see daddy or another male go potty and explain in order to be a big boy and not a baby he needs to go potty in the toilet. Otherwise welcome to the world of stubborn children. I've tried off and on trying to encourage my daughter who will be two in a few weeks but she still doesn't quit have the vocabulary to let you know what she wants. But she is smart enough to know what you do on the potty because she knows when you are done you wipe off and she will try to give you toilet paper. So just don't try bribing him with food rewards because that can set up bad eating habits. maybe a special activity will help make it fun and they will try harder.

sing a potty song or do a little dance anything that makes noise such as knocking on the door when they need to go or when they need changed may help.